Defenses still on - but I am aware

Apr 27
CFO keep on saying he didn't say what he said and insist he is right. At first, I was fine and try to explain but when he persist, my defenses goes up.

And I start to have defensive tot and want to reject. But an alternative tot came, is this worth it? I calmed down and said its not worth it. Perhaps I heard wrongly or perhaps he didn't realise that I said I will put as bonus for local account. Anyway, if he tell me again tomorro. I will jus replied that perhaps I listen wrongly n he is not getting older.

Its true, when I tot my staff did wrongly, I do question them cos I was sure of my standard response. But I am not as sure of myself as my boss. Let it be.

Today got to know another sister company CFO and he shared his frustation of being caught in between his CEO and holding company. CEO also shareholder and hence he has not support. My symphaty to him, I am blessed that the CEO has no interest and also blessed CEO basically quite 'clean'.

I am happy to meet some of the sister group colleague.


Evening

Osho
Be total and not be perfect.
Perfection is no anger, no jealousy, no possessiveness, no flaws, no limitation.
Totally is if u r angry, be totally angry. If u r loving, be totally loving. If u r sad, be totally sad. Nothing is denied - only partiality has to be dropped and then a person becomes beautiful.
A total person is beautiful.
A perfect person is dead.
A real man or woman, an authentic person has all the climates in his being - only with one awareness: that whatsoever he is doing, he should do totally and should do with full awareness.

To be really religious means to be non interfering. Give freedom to people; freedom is their birthright.
To have an opinion about someone means that deep down somewhere I want to manipulate you. To have some opinion about you, this way or that, means that I have deep desire to be powerful over people.