Suffering is blessing (4)

Sept 17

Father, thank U. Suria was effortless but tots came in and I was lost a bit. Breathing meditation is amazing. I have never felt such peace. I just watched the breathe and it operate and later as if the breathe was operating me. It is not a fluke. So far, has been like that since the last IE. It didn't die down like Shambavi's sweetness. But on the other hand, m now doing bit of dancing/singing with Shambavi.
Tots did come in Shambavi. I was aware and didn't follow.

Father, something is growing within me. Guess Venus period and I am feeling bit edgy and mind is workin overtime but m fine.

Evening
Did my first samyama meditation. It was good for a first timer and its definitely better than shakti and shambavi, even shoonya. I felt such contentment and peace. It was a depth that I didn't know exist.

(Oct 15 _ what i was doing was breathing meditation. It was so good that I had mistaken it for samyama)

Osho - Nanak
Austerity is meant for knowing that one's life and consciousness is beyond the body and the mind. He who this raises himself above the mind and body invariably finds the door to beatitude opened wide for him.
Everything is already present within you. All u need is the proper art of putting them together well. This putting together is what is know as self-restraint. You have everything within u, but u have never put them together with the proper system, proper tuning and music. They all lie inert within u.

Soul
Thanks to Sadhguru and Osho and 7thunder. Everything is coming together. Also much thanks to Vijii and Tamil teacher for showing me their loving presence, something that I want for myself too.

Osho - nanak
Master thief told his son
The old experience never come of use. Use ur intelligence and u land urself in trouble. Rely on ur intuition and u succeed.

The art of meditation is like house-breaking - u need as much awareness. Intelligence should be put aside and awareness should come into play.

Wherever there is suffering in life, take it as an exercise in austerity. Accept ur suffering fully and openly and be resolute. When u fall in, accept the illness. Do not fight against it. Then u will find that not only does the body get well, but also the mind attains a new kind of health.

Feeling is the crucible into which the nectar falls
Nanak specifies not thoughts but feeling. Feeling is the consciousness beyond ur tots. Thoughts flow in ur mind; emotion is the force of the heart. Feeling is not logic; it is love and so it is within the heart. It is a state of intensity, ecstasy, exhilaration.
When u r emotional, u r unified with the depth of the universe. Thoughts are ur most superficial layer, like the outer fencing of ur house. It is not even part of the house, only an outer limit to keep away outsiders. This is not u. You are ur emotions.

But we have become frightened of our emotions. Gradually we have clogged our emotions, if not cut them off completely. We don't listen to our hearts at all. We heed only the intellect and act according to our reasoning.
And where does ur intellect takes u? It is the shallowest thing within u, so it guides u only towards superficial things. That is why u r out to amass wealth - u gather all the trash - and why u r so concerned about ur honour and position.

Stand a little away from ur tots and drown ur feelings.

To awaken the emotions is to know that the world is full of consciousness. Whatever is seen does not end there; there is much more within, deep within. Emotion means the universe has an individuality, a soul.
Everywhere there is sensitivy. Man alone has lost his sensitivity and his emotions; therefore the world is so sad or gloomy. Without gaiety or mirth, it seems a useless place. As soon as ur emotions awakens, the world become transformed.

Begin to use ur heart gradually - and it can only be done gradually. Put aside ur tots for a while and bring in feeling. Sit near a flower, look at the flower without thinking it a rose or gladiolus. There is an invisible beauty around every flower. Just sit silently beside the flower and be a witness to it.
Soon u will discover that the process that has now started within ur heart has stopped the process of tots within ur mind. This is because energy can work only in one direction. The thrill u feel in ur heart, only u shall know. It is like a mute eating a candy, how can he tell the taste to others?

You have only to feel. You need not think about what is happening. Whatever is happening, let it happen, allow ur heart to thrill with ecstasy. You will soon discover a movement starting within ur heart as if a new mechanism that had been lying dormant has begun to function. A new melody now begins to play in ur life. Your life center changes and it is on this new center that nectar pours.

Soul
I think I am on the right track, thanks to Father. Amen.