Asserting my wants

Feb 23 aft
Breakthrough with family

Mmm, another episode from mom.
She said my sister gave her so much money. I said well, she is paying for a family of 4, whereas I am only one.
She countered by saying that she has to feed her family. I retorted by saying that she has a husband to share the responsibility. This time I no longer feel defensive..I pay when I want to.
Then mom said it is okay cos I always pay for family dinner.

Later we start to chat about the family. I said second brother in law will take care of the family gathering as he is now the chef when we shift over to the condominium.
Mom immediately becomes defensive and said she will only shift if we can get a good rental for the house. Otherwise she wants to stay in old house or rather she wants to stay in both place, the condo and current house. Guess thats because she thinks that brother won't come back to KL as elder brother and sis in law doesn't like second sister. Infact she thinks that they left because they don't want to go to second sis in law for dinner.
So much drama..
Anyway, I am sure I can get a good rental.
Meanwhile just work on getting the S & P signed next week.
Planning for renovation in March and actual renovation work in April and shift in by May or June.

Anyway, have shared this with the sisters.
So much drama at our home.
This is the other shake up.
Anyway, long time coming.
I truly want a place of my own...not a family place, keeping everyone...

But I can see my mom, hovering over her responsibility, defending her position as the chef, ensuring brother have a place, looking after younger brother and etc...
In a way, reminds me of my issue when I had to let go of Isha..it took me so long..so much dilemma.
So, will let her be.

Then tot of why no one said impressed with the condo. Now I know they said it is 'old', whereas I like the 'old' feel. Thats the reason I buy the condo. I like the old feel, besides planning to renovate it mid-century style.

For me now, just focus on getting the condo ready.
I focus on getting myself what I want
I can leave mom be...she has her own battle to fight...
Whether she shift or not, will not detract me from my plan to have my own space.
Can't wait for the shrine place.

North node in Taurus
A major turning point is when they focus time and energy on projects that are important to themselves, not being diverted by what they think is important to another person.
They are here to take back their power. When they stand in their power, they can afford to be loving and helpful to others.
There are no more battles to fight, noting more to give up, no part of themselves that has to be thrown away.
This is a building lifetime: building a sense of comfort through their connection with themselves.

Soul
Amen.

This also rang true with last week Osho tarot.
2. Internal influences that you are unable to see
Breakthrough

The predominance of red in this card indicates at a glance that its subject is energy, power and strength. The brilliant glow emanates from the solar plexus, or center of power on the figure, and the posture is one of exuberance and determination. 

All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough." At such times it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself. 


If you are now feeling that "enough is enough," allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing. In doing so you will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to your life.


Soul
I now focus on my need.
No longer want to expend energy on getting mom to shift.
I also don't her to have too much influence on the renovation as this is my space.