Thought of the past flowing in

Mar 11

Woke up before alarm but sleep back cos still early.
Woke up at alarm at 7 am but took a snooze.

Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps.
My right wrist is swelling since yesterday, probalby due to me placing my hands on the table during the 2 days training. Surya Kriya was nice.

Saw Devi in red..just take her back last Friday and now this offer.
I want big money and 4 days week. I need my yoga to do this job well and I want good money for the time and effort to work on the former company.

This tot keep on coming to my mind..
Sadhguru - You are here to live..not to avoid life.

Did Yogasaanas..nice...and I am coming along..breathing longer in asanas.
Even the boat asanas was good and I can hold much longer in the bow asanas.
So nice...just being with my body.

During the breathing meditation..
Wonder why I quit last time..I knew back then I only talked to Z and he was totally unsupportive and even break up with me on the phone. Then refused to take my calls.
I did quit..
I knew back then I was overwhelmed with local Isha due to Sadhguru's visit, with running 2 companies back to back, the travelling to and fro.
The stress of trying to find the right hotel for Z and I for our rendezous back then.
Then a tot came on the night of Sadhguru's visit. I recalled Z wanted to get back to me on the 1st and 2nd day afternoon. but in the 2nd day evening, he avoided my gaze..
I was wondering what happen to his playful enthusiasm..
Alas now I know he met his new wife on that day...must have fall in love with her..hence the avoidance when he looked at me in the evening. I was wondering why he ignored me..Now I knew..
anyway..didn't want to dwell on this, focus back on my breathe.
Reminding myself I am the gaps..not the tots..
So just focus back on my breathe..it is so nice..sat for awhile longer

Shakti..was good.
Despite so much tot flowing in...I was able to focus in 1st and 2nd cycle..but lost bit in 3rd cycle.

Shambavi is good.

Ended the session at 11.23 am..the longest ever.