Shift of perception from negative to positive

Mar 6

Woke up at alarm at 4.30 am. Body was tired cos I slept around 12.30 am cos nephews playing fireworks. Took a snooze and got up. After my cold shower feel better.

Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps. Did one cycle of Surya Kriya followed by  61 points awareness meditation. It is okay, not so aware but didn't lose track.
Breathing was nice. Wish I could sit longer.
Shakti was good. No loss in tot for Kapala Bhakti.
Shambavi

A tot came. Actually my big brother coming back is a blessing. Without his resistance to the shift. I wouldn't have tot of shifting out on my own. Without him being here, mom would have followed me. Now he is here he can take care of mom. So it is a blessing. Maybe it's payback time for him. As for me it is just loss of opportunity income and I can handle that.

Yoga the science of living by Osho
U are responsible. When there is no God, the responsibility falls totally on u. That's why weaklings go on believing in God. Only strong men can stand alone. But this is basic necessity - for yoga this is a basic requirement, that u stand alone and that u come to realise that the meaning is not given; u have to search for it. U have to create it. U will come to a meaning - life can come to a meaning - but that meaning will have to be discovered by ur own efforts. Whatsoever u do will go on revealing u. Every act will make ur life, ur existence, more and more meaningful.

To realise one is alone in a cold universe and there is nobody to pray to, and there is nobody to complain to and there is nobody who is going to help u - only u - it is a tremendous responsibility. One staggers, one feels afraid, one starts trembling. Anguish arises, a great anxiety is created by the very fact that u are left alone.

Soul
When I read this it reminds me of myself when I realise that no partner is going to come for me. I am already middle age. The Bucks stops here. No more hoping, dreaming of Prince Charming. I remembered I too cries much, cry out of regret of waiting, cry out of fear that I now got to embark alone. The purchase of condo and shifting out to have my own life is the result of the shift of responsibility from the illusionary Prince Charming to myself.