Nov 27
This mornin woke up and tot no-mind, means contentless and so I cannot write then. A tot came in, Sadhguru also no-mind, but he has much to share and with such clarity. Looks like mind be quite negative.
Today the swim was effortless. At first bit shaky, but I remember to do at my pace. Then I find my body just going thru the motion, my breathe was normal. Effortless swimming. Guess that's the key to effortless living in life too.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Freedom to is responsiblity (3)
Nov 26 Eve
Osho
Freedom in itself has no meaning, unless it is freedom for something, something creative - freedom to sculpt, to dance, to create music, poetry, painting and etc. Unless ur freedom turns into a creative realisation, u will feel sad.
Because u will see that u r free - ur chains are broken, and u r no longer in prison, u r standing under the starry night, completely free. But where do u go? Then comes a sadness. What path do u choose? Up to now, there was no question of going anywhere - u were imprisoned.
Either u go deeper into meditation for self-realisation, or if u have a certain kind of talent that has not been allowed to develop because ur fetters.
Soul
That's why I believe its important to do Passion List. My creative outlet is my writings; lighting up people minds.
Osho
Freedom from and freedom for - it is a dilemma that is being faced by every person who struggles first for freedom and then suddenly finds, "Now that I am free, what am I going to do?". Freedom only provides an opportunity for u, it is not the goal itself. It simply gives u the opportunity to do whatever u want to do. When u r free and are feeling sad, it is because. U have not used this opportunity yet.
Soul
Tot of me and CEO. Perfect message for both of us.
Suddenly tot this is key question that every retiree faces. A tot came, there should be a session for this. Tot of me being a speaker. Definitely a topic for my article.
Osho
Freedom and responsibility goes together. If u don't want responsibility, u can't have freedom either. They come together or they go together. If u give up responsibility, u have to accept slavery in some way or another.
Up until now u have dreamed about freedom without thinking about the great responsibility that will follow. U now have freedom, but u have not fulfilled the responsibility yet. Hence, a sadness lingers around u. You are capable of destroying this sadness if u were capable of coming out of ur slavery, u r certainly capable of being creative. If u were able to destroy ur prisons, u can certainly creates something beautiful.
(Dec 19 - same as death, there is beginning?)
Soul
Perfect timing. Same message as Lazy card and Celebration
Father, this is the thing bothering inwardly for past few months. It become urgent when my RA worsen. Mmm, perhaps RA was just to guide me once again.
It is nearly a year since I gathered courage to quit and then negotiated for 4 days week, and yet I have nothing to show. At first a few months a website of knowledge by C, V and I, but didn't materialise. Then a few months on 7thunder, but there were months of delay, which led me knowing its not my thingy. And now writing and website purchased about 3 months back. Father, suddenly realised that all the earlier misses were just to lead me to my writing. Cos things are falling in place now. I felt great today for writing the article on worry. Was energised updating my blog. 3.5 hours passed by effortlessly.
Osho
My own experience is that unless u become a creator in some way, ur life will remain empty and sad. The only blissful people are the creators. It may be simply the creation of more consciousness, more experience of truth, consciousness, bliss. It may be an inner world of creativity, or it may be something outer. But freedom has to become responsible, positive. Your freedom is still negative. It is good u r out of prison, but it is not enough. Now u have to earn earn ur bread. Up to now, the jailers were supporting the bread. Along with the chains, they were supplying u with shelter and clothes.
Soul
Exactly. I was stressed that here the time is coming and I haven't earn my own bread yet. Father, U r amazing. There were only 2 books left of Osho in the bookshop and at least one is meant for me. I never expect this, but U really come through. I am now more focused than before to see this through. I already found my perfect Proof Reader.
Osho
Freedom in itself has no meaning, unless it is freedom for something, something creative - freedom to sculpt, to dance, to create music, poetry, painting and etc. Unless ur freedom turns into a creative realisation, u will feel sad.
Because u will see that u r free - ur chains are broken, and u r no longer in prison, u r standing under the starry night, completely free. But where do u go? Then comes a sadness. What path do u choose? Up to now, there was no question of going anywhere - u were imprisoned.
Either u go deeper into meditation for self-realisation, or if u have a certain kind of talent that has not been allowed to develop because ur fetters.
Soul
That's why I believe its important to do Passion List. My creative outlet is my writings; lighting up people minds.
Osho
Freedom from and freedom for - it is a dilemma that is being faced by every person who struggles first for freedom and then suddenly finds, "Now that I am free, what am I going to do?". Freedom only provides an opportunity for u, it is not the goal itself. It simply gives u the opportunity to do whatever u want to do. When u r free and are feeling sad, it is because. U have not used this opportunity yet.
Soul
Tot of me and CEO. Perfect message for both of us.
Suddenly tot this is key question that every retiree faces. A tot came, there should be a session for this. Tot of me being a speaker. Definitely a topic for my article.
Osho
Freedom and responsibility goes together. If u don't want responsibility, u can't have freedom either. They come together or they go together. If u give up responsibility, u have to accept slavery in some way or another.
Up until now u have dreamed about freedom without thinking about the great responsibility that will follow. U now have freedom, but u have not fulfilled the responsibility yet. Hence, a sadness lingers around u. You are capable of destroying this sadness if u were capable of coming out of ur slavery, u r certainly capable of being creative. If u were able to destroy ur prisons, u can certainly creates something beautiful.
(Dec 19 - same as death, there is beginning?)
Soul
Perfect timing. Same message as Lazy card and Celebration
Father, this is the thing bothering inwardly for past few months. It become urgent when my RA worsen. Mmm, perhaps RA was just to guide me once again.
It is nearly a year since I gathered courage to quit and then negotiated for 4 days week, and yet I have nothing to show. At first a few months a website of knowledge by C, V and I, but didn't materialise. Then a few months on 7thunder, but there were months of delay, which led me knowing its not my thingy. And now writing and website purchased about 3 months back. Father, suddenly realised that all the earlier misses were just to lead me to my writing. Cos things are falling in place now. I felt great today for writing the article on worry. Was energised updating my blog. 3.5 hours passed by effortlessly.
Osho
My own experience is that unless u become a creator in some way, ur life will remain empty and sad. The only blissful people are the creators. It may be simply the creation of more consciousness, more experience of truth, consciousness, bliss. It may be an inner world of creativity, or it may be something outer. But freedom has to become responsible, positive. Your freedom is still negative. It is good u r out of prison, but it is not enough. Now u have to earn earn ur bread. Up to now, the jailers were supporting the bread. Along with the chains, they were supplying u with shelter and clothes.
Soul
Exactly. I was stressed that here the time is coming and I haven't earn my own bread yet. Father, U r amazing. There were only 2 books left of Osho in the bookshop and at least one is meant for me. I never expect this, but U really come through. I am now more focused than before to see this through. I already found my perfect Proof Reader.
Rheumatoid Arthristis (3)
Nov 26
Father, did my suria, it was effortless. Then did a bit of breathing awareness, followed by shakti and shambavi.
Father, the best is no-mind. Somehow contents come in. I realised that I can worry a lot.
Seven
When they are carefree and full of appreciation for the wonder and splendor of their life, they are happy and content. They are carefree because they live knowing that all their needs are being provided for. They have a direct connection to a higher source that guarantees that they will be taken care of. They have no worries in the world and are actually experiencing higher states of spiritual consciousness.
When the Seven person falls back into mundane world. They are afraid of not having enough. They feel insecure and unloved.
They worry, and this worry tortures them. They try to manipulate others and their environment to protect themselves, but it just make matters worse. They become morose and depressed and perpetuate their misery. They live in a world where there just isn't enough.
Father, did my suria, it was effortless. Then did a bit of breathing awareness, followed by shakti and shambavi.
Father, the best is no-mind. Somehow contents come in. I realised that I can worry a lot.
Seven
When they are carefree and full of appreciation for the wonder and splendor of their life, they are happy and content. They are carefree because they live knowing that all their needs are being provided for. They have a direct connection to a higher source that guarantees that they will be taken care of. They have no worries in the world and are actually experiencing higher states of spiritual consciousness.
When the Seven person falls back into mundane world. They are afraid of not having enough. They feel insecure and unloved.
They worry, and this worry tortures them. They try to manipulate others and their environment to protect themselves, but it just make matters worse. They become morose and depressed and perpetuate their misery. They live in a world where there just isn't enough.
Uncertainty led to worry
Nov 26
Father, did my suria, it was effortless. Then did a bit of breathing awareness, followed by shakti and shambavi.
Father, the best is no-mind. Somehow contents come in. I realised that I can worry a lot.
Seven
When they are carefree and full of appreciation for the wonder and splendor of their life, they are happy and content. They are carefree because they live knowing that all their needs are being provided for. They have a direct connection to a higher source that guarantees that they will be taken care of. They have no worries in the world and are actually experiencing higher states of spiritual consciousness.
When the Seven person falls back into mundane world. They are afraid of not having enough. They feel insecure and unloved.
They worry, and this worry tortures them. They try to manipulate others and their environment to protect themselves, but it just make matters worse. They become morose and depressed and perpetuate their misery. They live in a world where there just isn't enough.
Father, did my suria, it was effortless. Then did a bit of breathing awareness, followed by shakti and shambavi.
Father, the best is no-mind. Somehow contents come in. I realised that I can worry a lot.
Seven
When they are carefree and full of appreciation for the wonder and splendor of their life, they are happy and content. They are carefree because they live knowing that all their needs are being provided for. They have a direct connection to a higher source that guarantees that they will be taken care of. They have no worries in the world and are actually experiencing higher states of spiritual consciousness.
When the Seven person falls back into mundane world. They are afraid of not having enough. They feel insecure and unloved.
They worry, and this worry tortures them. They try to manipulate others and their environment to protect themselves, but it just make matters worse. They become morose and depressed and perpetuate their misery. They live in a world where there just isn't enough.
Rheumatoid Arthristis (2)
Nov 25
Queen of Diamond (Life spread)
Saturn - Seven of Clubs
Negative attitude, worry and pessimism can affect ur health.
Remedy
A positive attitude, patience and mental discipline are a MUST in order to maintain ur well-being
Spiritual and mental discipline is the key to mastering not only yourself, but any problems on the external level
Soul
When I read this card, I used to think its not me.
Alas just yesterday, I finally realised that I have high conscience causing guilt and unnecessary worries. And this excerbated RA.
It is such a coincidence that I am now reading this on my update blog.
Father, my ESR is at 63, on the high side. Cholestrol reduce from 7 to 6.
Now updating blog.
Pluto card - Jack of Club
The major challenge in ur life is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
You are initiated into higher spiritual and personal development knowledge that cause a transformative effect on u.
You have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Club.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
No wonder RA excarbates.
What am I disturbed about? My alternative career, which is writing. Not sure if I can do it. Its a real challenge
1. Not sure I can write well
2. Not sure if the Insight will flow
3. Not sure if right alternative career as joints are painful when typing too long.
4. Not sure if ebook is marketable
5. Not sure if it will be success.
6. Not sure if want it to be known to people I know - embarass cos expectations and etc
Father, no wonder things are not moving. Part of me worried that if successful, I have to showed up. This seem similar to CEO's dilemma on the house. Want to sell house but afraid to sell at lower price.
Father, how come I picked up the negative. I forgot abt the positives in my Life spread
Jupiter - Nine of Heart
If u r involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, this card is an indicator of great success. This is the card of the counselor and giver of love. Any activities along these lines could be highly rewarding, both financially and to ur inner self as well.
Queen of Diamond
Financial success through nurturing and helping, or being a successful businesswoman.
Soul
So it does tell me that I am on the right track.
It also tells me that I worries unnecessarily.
Another blog dated Oct 11 that shows I worry loads.
Cosmic Lesson
Seven of Spade
If u have been harbouring negative attitudes and patterns about ur work or health, this powerful influence will cause to face them squarely and experience more than ever, the consequences of having them.
To have the success u want in work and health, u will have to make some changes in ur behaviour and approach. This require living beyond our normal fears and concerns.
For those involved in spiritual work, this influence challenges u to move toward more success and make progress towards your work and personal goals.
Affirmation
I am tapping into the source of God and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.
(Dec 19 - thats its. Thats what I have been doing all these years!)
Queen of Diamond (Life spread)
Saturn - Seven of Clubs
Negative attitude, worry and pessimism can affect ur health.
Remedy
A positive attitude, patience and mental discipline are a MUST in order to maintain ur well-being
Spiritual and mental discipline is the key to mastering not only yourself, but any problems on the external level
Soul
When I read this card, I used to think its not me.
Alas just yesterday, I finally realised that I have high conscience causing guilt and unnecessary worries. And this excerbated RA.
It is such a coincidence that I am now reading this on my update blog.
Father, my ESR is at 63, on the high side. Cholestrol reduce from 7 to 6.
Now updating blog.
Pluto card - Jack of Club
The major challenge in ur life is to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer.
You are initiated into higher spiritual and personal development knowledge that cause a transformative effect on u.
You have to make a conscious effort to achieve ur goal or to deal with creative, youthful and often immature energies of the Jack of Club.
Affirmation
I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful. I begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.
Soul
No wonder RA excarbates.
What am I disturbed about? My alternative career, which is writing. Not sure if I can do it. Its a real challenge
1. Not sure I can write well
2. Not sure if the Insight will flow
3. Not sure if right alternative career as joints are painful when typing too long.
4. Not sure if ebook is marketable
5. Not sure if it will be success.
6. Not sure if want it to be known to people I know - embarass cos expectations and etc
Father, no wonder things are not moving. Part of me worried that if successful, I have to showed up. This seem similar to CEO's dilemma on the house. Want to sell house but afraid to sell at lower price.
Father, how come I picked up the negative. I forgot abt the positives in my Life spread
Jupiter - Nine of Heart
If u r involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, this card is an indicator of great success. This is the card of the counselor and giver of love. Any activities along these lines could be highly rewarding, both financially and to ur inner self as well.
Queen of Diamond
Financial success through nurturing and helping, or being a successful businesswoman.
Soul
So it does tell me that I am on the right track.
It also tells me that I worries unnecessarily.
Another blog dated Oct 11 that shows I worry loads.
Cosmic Lesson
Seven of Spade
If u have been harbouring negative attitudes and patterns about ur work or health, this powerful influence will cause to face them squarely and experience more than ever, the consequences of having them.
To have the success u want in work and health, u will have to make some changes in ur behaviour and approach. This require living beyond our normal fears and concerns.
For those involved in spiritual work, this influence challenges u to move toward more success and make progress towards your work and personal goals.
Affirmation
I am tapping into the source of God and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.
(Dec 19 - thats its. Thats what I have been doing all these years!)
Rheumatoid Arthristis
Nov 25
Father, my left wrist is swelling and I tot I couldn't do suria. But I tried and amazingly I can do. The first 2 cycle bit difficult, but thereafter effortless. Thank U.
At first tot of doing shakti and shambavi cos didn't want to in the evening. Then tot of samyama and shakti instead.
I do wonder why I am still reluctant to do samyama. I know how to do but somehow resisting.
After my rest, I sat down, thinking to do samyama, but just couldn't do it, and instead continue with breathe awareness. And it was good, I was in deep. It has been a long while since I can go in deep.
Did shambavi, it was fine. Today finished by 6.45 am, something that has not happen since I got back from samyama.
Father, just finished reading the nature cure for RA. It said the cause is due to poisoning of the blood with acid wastes, which results from imperfect elimination and lowered vitality. Meat, bread, sugar and refined cereals, to which modern man is most addicted, leave a large residue of acid toxic wastes. The acid are not neutralised due to absence of alkaline.
The excess acid are ejected when there is abundant vitality or there is sickness such as colds and fevers (Dec 19 - exactly my own tot).
When vitality is low, the acid wastes are concentrated around the joints and bony structure, where they form the basis of rheumatism. The acid wastes piling up in the system are attracted towards the bone structure due to its lime content, which is alkaline.
Soul
Seems quite right.
Chronic RA
1. No bread or potatoes or other starchy food
2. For detox - all-fruit diet for 4 or 5 days. Three meals a day of fresh, juicy fruits such as apples, grapes, peaches, oranges, pineapples and grapefruit.
3. To take ripe fruit and fresh vegetables in abundance.
4. To take lots of buttermilk
5. Food to avoid - meat, fish, white bread, sugar, refined cereal, rich, indigestible and highly seasoned foods tea, coffee, alcohol, sauces, pickles and condiments.
6. To take raw potato juice - one or two teaspoonful out of mashed raw potato should be taken before meals. This help eliminate an acid condition and relieve rheumatism.
7. To take water in which potato skins have been boiled is one of the best medicine for the ailment caused by excess of acid in the system. The potato peelings should be thoroughly washed and boiled a few minutes. The decoction should then be strained and a glassful of the same should be taken three or four times daily.
8. Celery
Father, my left wrist is swelling and I tot I couldn't do suria. But I tried and amazingly I can do. The first 2 cycle bit difficult, but thereafter effortless. Thank U.
At first tot of doing shakti and shambavi cos didn't want to in the evening. Then tot of samyama and shakti instead.
I do wonder why I am still reluctant to do samyama. I know how to do but somehow resisting.
After my rest, I sat down, thinking to do samyama, but just couldn't do it, and instead continue with breathe awareness. And it was good, I was in deep. It has been a long while since I can go in deep.
Did shambavi, it was fine. Today finished by 6.45 am, something that has not happen since I got back from samyama.
Father, just finished reading the nature cure for RA. It said the cause is due to poisoning of the blood with acid wastes, which results from imperfect elimination and lowered vitality. Meat, bread, sugar and refined cereals, to which modern man is most addicted, leave a large residue of acid toxic wastes. The acid are not neutralised due to absence of alkaline.
The excess acid are ejected when there is abundant vitality or there is sickness such as colds and fevers (Dec 19 - exactly my own tot).
When vitality is low, the acid wastes are concentrated around the joints and bony structure, where they form the basis of rheumatism. The acid wastes piling up in the system are attracted towards the bone structure due to its lime content, which is alkaline.
Soul
Seems quite right.
Chronic RA
1. No bread or potatoes or other starchy food
2. For detox - all-fruit diet for 4 or 5 days. Three meals a day of fresh, juicy fruits such as apples, grapes, peaches, oranges, pineapples and grapefruit.
3. To take ripe fruit and fresh vegetables in abundance.
4. To take lots of buttermilk
5. Food to avoid - meat, fish, white bread, sugar, refined cereal, rich, indigestible and highly seasoned foods tea, coffee, alcohol, sauces, pickles and condiments.
6. To take raw potato juice - one or two teaspoonful out of mashed raw potato should be taken before meals. This help eliminate an acid condition and relieve rheumatism.
7. To take water in which potato skins have been boiled is one of the best medicine for the ailment caused by excess of acid in the system. The potato peelings should be thoroughly washed and boiled a few minutes. The decoction should then be strained and a glassful of the same should be taken three or four times daily.
8. Celery
Humility vs arrogance
Nov 24 Eve
Father, the fall from arrogance; All the years, I always have bosses who thinks m great and i grew arrogant. Finally back in 2003; I finally encountered my downfall
1. When I report to a boss who didn't know m good - Al
2. When I report to a boss who didn't know m hard working / good - M
3. When I report to a boss who didn't know my communication is good - J
4. When I have to do excel reporting work.
5. When I ate the kanji in ashram in Feb 2010
6. When I bow to Sadhguru's energy stone in ashram in Oct 2010
7. When I have to bow to painful joints due to RA.
So, I would say m falling from arrogance but long way to go on humility. My inability to be humble is the reason why I can't do service for others. My inability to be humble is why I can't give white lies.
(Dec 19 - this morning got a great idea to promote IE pgm. As usual, I expect others to do the work of organising/setup since I came out with idea. When i realised that they are slow in reverting, i tot i can't asked them to do as we are all volunteers. Since i got the idea and I am now free, why don't i just do it. I did call and arrange for set-up. This is service for Isha. Guess I am now able to service as I finally saw my Deflation mode in areas of uncertainty, with the help from R, who operates on Deflation mode.)
Now I understand the Osho transformation card
1. Issue
Uniqueness
Beyond superiority and inferiority.
Nobody is equal, but nobody is superior and nobody is inferior. Everyone has its own potential to contribute to life. Everyone has to discover their own being. The man who feel superior is still feeling inferior.
Soul
This is telling me yeap, there is inequality in terms of different level of contribution. But the different levels doesn't make anyone superior or inferior. Just like the person doing reporting is not inferior to a person doing strategy.
Foolish Heart
The heart looks foolish. Love always looks foolish, because love is not utilitarian.
Mind is utilitarian. It uses everything for something else - that is the meaning of utilitarian. Mind is purposive, end-orientated; it turns everything into a means - and love cannot be turned into a means, that is the problem. Love in itself is the goal.
Soul
This to remind me that my mind leads to arrogance while love is itself the goal. Amen
Suddenly tot that if without the RA, I would still be arrogant and do my own path and won't follow Sadhguru till samyama. RA made me humble that I can wake up 4 am to do hatha yoga and meditation. RA made me humble to do 3 hours of meditation and 1 hour of yoga daily.
RA is to ensure I stay on path.
Father, the fall from arrogance; All the years, I always have bosses who thinks m great and i grew arrogant. Finally back in 2003; I finally encountered my downfall
1. When I report to a boss who didn't know m good - Al
2. When I report to a boss who didn't know m hard working / good - M
3. When I report to a boss who didn't know my communication is good - J
4. When I have to do excel reporting work.
5. When I ate the kanji in ashram in Feb 2010
6. When I bow to Sadhguru's energy stone in ashram in Oct 2010
7. When I have to bow to painful joints due to RA.
So, I would say m falling from arrogance but long way to go on humility. My inability to be humble is the reason why I can't do service for others. My inability to be humble is why I can't give white lies.
(Dec 19 - this morning got a great idea to promote IE pgm. As usual, I expect others to do the work of organising/setup since I came out with idea. When i realised that they are slow in reverting, i tot i can't asked them to do as we are all volunteers. Since i got the idea and I am now free, why don't i just do it. I did call and arrange for set-up. This is service for Isha. Guess I am now able to service as I finally saw my Deflation mode in areas of uncertainty, with the help from R, who operates on Deflation mode.)
Now I understand the Osho transformation card
1. Issue
Uniqueness
Beyond superiority and inferiority.
Nobody is equal, but nobody is superior and nobody is inferior. Everyone has its own potential to contribute to life. Everyone has to discover their own being. The man who feel superior is still feeling inferior.
Soul
This is telling me yeap, there is inequality in terms of different level of contribution. But the different levels doesn't make anyone superior or inferior. Just like the person doing reporting is not inferior to a person doing strategy.
Foolish Heart
The heart looks foolish. Love always looks foolish, because love is not utilitarian.
Mind is utilitarian. It uses everything for something else - that is the meaning of utilitarian. Mind is purposive, end-orientated; it turns everything into a means - and love cannot be turned into a means, that is the problem. Love in itself is the goal.
Soul
This to remind me that my mind leads to arrogance while love is itself the goal. Amen
Suddenly tot that if without the RA, I would still be arrogant and do my own path and won't follow Sadhguru till samyama. RA made me humble that I can wake up 4 am to do hatha yoga and meditation. RA made me humble to do 3 hours of meditation and 1 hour of yoga daily.
RA is to ensure I stay on path.
Transformation did happen
Nov 24
Osho
3. Seed of transformation taking root
Laughter
Laughter is eternal, life is eternal and celebration continues. Existence is continuous. There is not a single moment's gap. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a new beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
Soul
I have changed my sadness into joy. And now will face death, still fearful. But this is a reminder, that death is new beginning. Like CEO, the issue is don't know what's the beginning. A tot came, focus moment to moment. When its ending period, just focus on letting go. When new beginning come, we will know what to do. Life is a mystery. Life is full of uncertainty., so accept and be at peace with it.
4. Direction of growth now becoming available to u
Gates of Heaven
Heaven and hell are not geographical, they are psychological. They are within u. The doors are very close with each other. Every moment u go on wavering between heaven and hell. It is a moment to moment question; it is urgent; in a single moment u can move from hell to heaven, from heaven to hell. Just a change of mind can make the move. Whatever u do, if u r not aware of what u r doing, the state of hell opens.
Soul
Mine is not so much anger, but more of worries.
5. Inner understanding that is most important for u to work on right now
The Foolish Heart
The heart has its own reasons, which the mind cannot understand. The heart has its own dimension of being, which is completely dark for the mind. The heart is higher and deeper than the mind.
The heart looks foolish. Love always looks foolish, because love is not utilitarian.
Mind is utilitarian. It uses everything for something else - that is the meaning of utilitarian. Mind is purposive, end-orientated; it turns everything into a means - and love cannot be turned into a means, that is the problem. Love in itself is the goal.
Soul
Same question like CEO asked for herself, her networking of new people and now ending of work, where does all these goes to? Where does it end? What is the results?
Same question I asked too. The mind always asked what's next, why am I doing this? I guess same as me doing the website. Anyway, I have decided it is a creative outlet for me. How it will turn into is not within my view. What I know is I will enjoy it and it expresses all the energy within me.
Fools
Fool always have a subtle wisdom in them, and the wise always act like fools. The wise are so foolish that their cunningness and cleverness closes their minds. A fool is simple and needed becos many times the so-called wise would not say something becos they were afraid of the emperor.
The fools act - simply without thinking what the result will be. A clever man always thinks first of the results, then he acts. Thought comes first, then action. A foolish man acts, thought never comes first.
When someone realises the ultimate, he is not like ur wise man. He cannot be. He may be like ur fools, but he cannot be like the wise men. He is God's fool
Soul
I have always been called foolish in the corporate world. As I would say my mind, regardless of consequences.
But in pursuing my Passion, I realised I am not.
But I am now slowly but surely become foolish with my Passion too. Firstly, realising uncertainty is part of life. Secondly, conscience of worrying unnecessarily taking energy. Now thirdly, be foolish, don't worry about result.
Osho - Guilt
This moment! .... this herenow ... is forgotten when u start thinking in terms of achieving something. When the achieving mind arises, u lose contact with the paradise u r in.
Osho
Freedom from is an essential part, but only the negative part. Unless u have a positive goal, ur freedom from is meaningless. You should also be clearly aware of what u r fighting for. What is the goal of ur freedom?
The negative part is only a preparation for something positive to happen.
Soul
All the years of clearing my unconscious mind, leads to unfoldment of my being. And now is the creation of outer being.
Osho
3. Seed of transformation taking root
Laughter
Laughter is eternal, life is eternal and celebration continues. Existence is continuous. There is not a single moment's gap. No death is death, because every death opens a new door - it is a new beginning. There is no end to life, there is always new beginning, a resurrection.
If u change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also be capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So, learn the art while there is still time.
Soul
I have changed my sadness into joy. And now will face death, still fearful. But this is a reminder, that death is new beginning. Like CEO, the issue is don't know what's the beginning. A tot came, focus moment to moment. When its ending period, just focus on letting go. When new beginning come, we will know what to do. Life is a mystery. Life is full of uncertainty., so accept and be at peace with it.
4. Direction of growth now becoming available to u
Gates of Heaven
Heaven and hell are not geographical, they are psychological. They are within u. The doors are very close with each other. Every moment u go on wavering between heaven and hell. It is a moment to moment question; it is urgent; in a single moment u can move from hell to heaven, from heaven to hell. Just a change of mind can make the move. Whatever u do, if u r not aware of what u r doing, the state of hell opens.
Soul
Mine is not so much anger, but more of worries.
5. Inner understanding that is most important for u to work on right now
The Foolish Heart
The heart has its own reasons, which the mind cannot understand. The heart has its own dimension of being, which is completely dark for the mind. The heart is higher and deeper than the mind.
The heart looks foolish. Love always looks foolish, because love is not utilitarian.
Mind is utilitarian. It uses everything for something else - that is the meaning of utilitarian. Mind is purposive, end-orientated; it turns everything into a means - and love cannot be turned into a means, that is the problem. Love in itself is the goal.
Soul
Same question like CEO asked for herself, her networking of new people and now ending of work, where does all these goes to? Where does it end? What is the results?
Same question I asked too. The mind always asked what's next, why am I doing this? I guess same as me doing the website. Anyway, I have decided it is a creative outlet for me. How it will turn into is not within my view. What I know is I will enjoy it and it expresses all the energy within me.
Fools
Fool always have a subtle wisdom in them, and the wise always act like fools. The wise are so foolish that their cunningness and cleverness closes their minds. A fool is simple and needed becos many times the so-called wise would not say something becos they were afraid of the emperor.
The fools act - simply without thinking what the result will be. A clever man always thinks first of the results, then he acts. Thought comes first, then action. A foolish man acts, thought never comes first.
When someone realises the ultimate, he is not like ur wise man. He cannot be. He may be like ur fools, but he cannot be like the wise men. He is God's fool
Soul
I have always been called foolish in the corporate world. As I would say my mind, regardless of consequences.
But in pursuing my Passion, I realised I am not.
But I am now slowly but surely become foolish with my Passion too. Firstly, realising uncertainty is part of life. Secondly, conscience of worrying unnecessarily taking energy. Now thirdly, be foolish, don't worry about result.
Osho - Guilt
This moment! .... this herenow ... is forgotten when u start thinking in terms of achieving something. When the achieving mind arises, u lose contact with the paradise u r in.
Osho
Freedom from is an essential part, but only the negative part. Unless u have a positive goal, ur freedom from is meaningless. You should also be clearly aware of what u r fighting for. What is the goal of ur freedom?
The negative part is only a preparation for something positive to happen.
Soul
All the years of clearing my unconscious mind, leads to unfoldment of my being. And now is the creation of outer being.
CEO's friend
Nov 23 Eve
Father, amazing. A turnaround for CEO. She has calmed down and I finally able to get through to her that the early retirement date is a blessing from Universe.
She also agreed that she giving mix signal to Universe for the purchase of house. On one hand, she wants to sell the house and yet says she still have time so can wait for highest bidder.
Father, I never expect such a fantastic outcome.
She shared with me her fear of future as she know what she is losing, but uncertain of what she will gain. We also spoke of our issue with money, keep on thinking we may not have the money in future.
I told her that is good to focus on what makes her happy and work toward them. She told me she is not sure of what she wants. I then shared with her on how to do Passion List. She was keen to do it and wants to go through with me one prioritisation of Top 5. Father, with Ur Help, she is my best student. Thanks for guiding me today.
Thanks for bringing CEO into my life. She has helped me a lot as I learned from her experience. It was suffering in the beginning and our relationship grew. Amen.
I am more and more certain my high conscience level led to high guilt level, lead to worry. No wonder RA as I put unnecessary authority on myself. I search for Osho Transformation Cards
1. Issue
Uniqueness
Beyond superiority and inferiority.
Nobody is equal, but nobody is superior and nobody is inferior. Everyone has its own potential to contribute to life. Everyone has to discover their own being. The man who feel superior is still feeling inferior.
Soul
Tot of me healthy ego, self-centred and yet so much guilt conscience.
2. External influence that u r aware
No-mind - the ultimate and inexpressible.
The state of no-mind is the state of divine. It is the explosion when the mind is content-less.
When the consciousness is not going out to any object, when there is nothing to see, nothing to think, just emptiness all around, then one falls upon oneself. There is nowhere to go - one relaxes into one's source and that source is God.
Soul
Yeap, its great but can only reach after intense meditation. So, many times during meditation, especially surka kriya process, I stayed on the contents.
Father, amazing. A turnaround for CEO. She has calmed down and I finally able to get through to her that the early retirement date is a blessing from Universe.
She also agreed that she giving mix signal to Universe for the purchase of house. On one hand, she wants to sell the house and yet says she still have time so can wait for highest bidder.
Father, I never expect such a fantastic outcome.
She shared with me her fear of future as she know what she is losing, but uncertain of what she will gain. We also spoke of our issue with money, keep on thinking we may not have the money in future.
I told her that is good to focus on what makes her happy and work toward them. She told me she is not sure of what she wants. I then shared with her on how to do Passion List. She was keen to do it and wants to go through with me one prioritisation of Top 5. Father, with Ur Help, she is my best student. Thanks for guiding me today.
Thanks for bringing CEO into my life. She has helped me a lot as I learned from her experience. It was suffering in the beginning and our relationship grew. Amen.
I am more and more certain my high conscience level led to high guilt level, lead to worry. No wonder RA as I put unnecessary authority on myself. I search for Osho Transformation Cards
1. Issue
Uniqueness
Beyond superiority and inferiority.
Nobody is equal, but nobody is superior and nobody is inferior. Everyone has its own potential to contribute to life. Everyone has to discover their own being. The man who feel superior is still feeling inferior.
Soul
Tot of me healthy ego, self-centred and yet so much guilt conscience.
2. External influence that u r aware
No-mind - the ultimate and inexpressible.
The state of no-mind is the state of divine. It is the explosion when the mind is content-less.
When the consciousness is not going out to any object, when there is nothing to see, nothing to think, just emptiness all around, then one falls upon oneself. There is nowhere to go - one relaxes into one's source and that source is God.
Soul
Yeap, its great but can only reach after intense meditation. So, many times during meditation, especially surka kriya process, I stayed on the contents.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Crtical perception tears me down (pessimistic) - 3
Nov 23 Aft
Osho
1. The Issue
Change
Life repeats itself mindlessly _ unless u become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel. Once u see the pattern, u can get out of it.
Soul
Has been eating with worry for past few days. It has been awhile since I experienced such guilt.
Why such guilt?
A tot came, in the past u acted without conscience and now u have accumulated guilt from the past and it is easily triggered.
RA is triggered with worry. Worry is triggered by guilt. Guilt is triggered by conscience. Conscience is triggered by high parameters.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
Looks like I used my critical perception to tear me down and others too. Because I have critical perception, I don't acknowledge my good and always acknowledged my bad. Father, I can see the pattern.
(Dec 16 - suddenly tot, no wonder it was so difficult for me to acknowledge people's achievement,as I don't appreciate mine either)
2. Internal influence - Postponement
Make up ur mind. Don't go on postponing indefinitely. The one and only result of postponing things is a dull and depressing feeling of incompletion and "stuck-ness" today. The relief and expansiveness u will feel once u put aside all the dithering thoughts that r preventing u from acting now.
Soul
What's this? Is this about my website.
Perhaps abt my talking to CEO on retirement. I felt such relieve talking to her.
3. External influence
Laziness
When u r lazy, it is a negative taste, u simply feel that u have no energy, u simply feel dull, u simply feel sleepy, feel dead.
When u r in a state of non-doing, then u r full of energy, bubbly - it is a positive taste.
The journey isn't over yet. It is now time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
Tot of the latest fiasco. I tot why it occur. Why? Anyway, now I know why. I am now exploring root of RA's cause.
4. What is needed for resoluton?
Guilt
Forget all about sin and forget all about saintliness, both are stupid. Both together have destroyed all the joys of humanity.
Guilt is one of the most destructive emotions in which we can get caught. If we have wronged another or gone against our own truth, then of cos we will feel bad. But to let ourselves overwhelmed with guilt is to invite migraine. We end up surrounded by nagging clouds of self-doubt and feeling of worthlessness to the point where we cannot see any of the beauty and joy that life is trying to offer us.
We all long to be better people - more loving, more aware, more true to ourselves. But when we punish ourselves for our failute by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.
U r absolutely okay as u r, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time. Learn from it, move on and use the lesson.
5. The resolution
Ordinariness
You are facing a time now when the easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on ur part to be brilliant, clever or otherwise extraordinary. Forget all about making headlines. The special gift u have to offer now is just by taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Five of Spades
It could indicate change in ur health and business. At the most basic level, a change in ur life style or the things u do day in and day out.
Soul
I am changing my conscience level. I no longer want to feel gulity and worry unnecessarily. I will use awareness instead of conscience to lead my life.
Father, is hard to believe that me, who is self-centred has such a high conscience especially at work. No wonder others cannot believe that I do worry.
Osho
1. The Issue
Change
Life repeats itself mindlessly _ unless u become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel. Once u see the pattern, u can get out of it.
Soul
Has been eating with worry for past few days. It has been awhile since I experienced such guilt.
Why such guilt?
A tot came, in the past u acted without conscience and now u have accumulated guilt from the past and it is easily triggered.
RA is triggered with worry. Worry is triggered by guilt. Guilt is triggered by conscience. Conscience is triggered by high parameters.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
Looks like I used my critical perception to tear me down and others too. Because I have critical perception, I don't acknowledge my good and always acknowledged my bad. Father, I can see the pattern.
(Dec 16 - suddenly tot, no wonder it was so difficult for me to acknowledge people's achievement,as I don't appreciate mine either)
2. Internal influence - Postponement
Make up ur mind. Don't go on postponing indefinitely. The one and only result of postponing things is a dull and depressing feeling of incompletion and "stuck-ness" today. The relief and expansiveness u will feel once u put aside all the dithering thoughts that r preventing u from acting now.
Soul
What's this? Is this about my website.
Perhaps abt my talking to CEO on retirement. I felt such relieve talking to her.
3. External influence
Laziness
When u r lazy, it is a negative taste, u simply feel that u have no energy, u simply feel dull, u simply feel sleepy, feel dead.
When u r in a state of non-doing, then u r full of energy, bubbly - it is a positive taste.
The journey isn't over yet. It is now time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
Tot of the latest fiasco. I tot why it occur. Why? Anyway, now I know why. I am now exploring root of RA's cause.
4. What is needed for resoluton?
Guilt
Forget all about sin and forget all about saintliness, both are stupid. Both together have destroyed all the joys of humanity.
Guilt is one of the most destructive emotions in which we can get caught. If we have wronged another or gone against our own truth, then of cos we will feel bad. But to let ourselves overwhelmed with guilt is to invite migraine. We end up surrounded by nagging clouds of self-doubt and feeling of worthlessness to the point where we cannot see any of the beauty and joy that life is trying to offer us.
We all long to be better people - more loving, more aware, more true to ourselves. But when we punish ourselves for our failute by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.
U r absolutely okay as u r, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time. Learn from it, move on and use the lesson.
5. The resolution
Ordinariness
You are facing a time now when the easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on ur part to be brilliant, clever or otherwise extraordinary. Forget all about making headlines. The special gift u have to offer now is just by taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Five of Spades
It could indicate change in ur health and business. At the most basic level, a change in ur life style or the things u do day in and day out.
Soul
I am changing my conscience level. I no longer want to feel gulity and worry unnecessarily. I will use awareness instead of conscience to lead my life.
Father, is hard to believe that me, who is self-centred has such a high conscience especially at work. No wonder others cannot believe that I do worry.
Crtical perception tears me down (pessimistic) - 2
Nov 23
Father, today I woke up with joints feeling good. It has been a long time I felt such ease with my joints. Last few days I was worried about CEO's retirement and am relieved I told her yday.
Father, this morning I tot of CEO's demand that I gave her a proposal on asking for extension of retirement date. I suddenly felt pissed off as she is asking for something beyond my capacity and role. I recalled I kept quiet when she was shouting, somehow I was thinking of a plan too. Now
How come CEO doesn't take responsibility for anything that happen in her life, don't talk about others? Here, I felt I am responsible for everything and everyone. The things she demand is so tyrannical. Answer came, she has no conscience. No sense of fair play. She thinks everyone is to bow to her demands, basically she is a King. She think she is the ultimate authority
Me, always in conscience mode. Come to think of it, my worry has always been due to conscience, guilty every thing. Always trying to be number one goody.
Hey, suddenly tot that I have told my mom that her conscience level is too high, always taking in other people's responsibility as her own and now m like that too.
Suddenly tot of my RA.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation
I am my own authority.
I love and approve of myself.
Life is good.
Father, great lesson. Now I know why I meet Al, M and current CEO. All of them act like King, thinks they command the world. They never have conscience attack.
Me, the opposite, act like the world command me. Always having conscience attack and hence worrry loads. Feel guilty whenever I perceived that somehow or somewhere I have short deliver. No wonder I felt very put upon cos conscience and guilt is too much.
(Dec 16 - suddenly tot that I internalise my quilt, whereas CEO projects her guilt)
Father, today I woke up with joints feeling good. It has been a long time I felt such ease with my joints. Last few days I was worried about CEO's retirement and am relieved I told her yday.
Father, this morning I tot of CEO's demand that I gave her a proposal on asking for extension of retirement date. I suddenly felt pissed off as she is asking for something beyond my capacity and role. I recalled I kept quiet when she was shouting, somehow I was thinking of a plan too. Now
How come CEO doesn't take responsibility for anything that happen in her life, don't talk about others? Here, I felt I am responsible for everything and everyone. The things she demand is so tyrannical. Answer came, she has no conscience. No sense of fair play. She thinks everyone is to bow to her demands, basically she is a King. She think she is the ultimate authority
Me, always in conscience mode. Come to think of it, my worry has always been due to conscience, guilty every thing. Always trying to be number one goody.
Hey, suddenly tot that I have told my mom that her conscience level is too high, always taking in other people's responsibility as her own and now m like that too.
Suddenly tot of my RA.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation
I am my own authority.
I love and approve of myself.
Life is good.
Father, great lesson. Now I know why I meet Al, M and current CEO. All of them act like King, thinks they command the world. They never have conscience attack.
Me, the opposite, act like the world command me. Always having conscience attack and hence worrry loads. Feel guilty whenever I perceived that somehow or somewhere I have short deliver. No wonder I felt very put upon cos conscience and guilt is too much.
(Dec 16 - suddenly tot that I internalise my quilt, whereas CEO projects her guilt)
Crtical perception tears me down (pessimistic)
Nov 22 Eve
Father, me just recovered from the retirement incident. And now the incident from sis which is frankly a small incident. The only mistake I did was forget about the addn bed. But how come I felt guilty and is running in our mind.
Just spoke the my younger sis, she was laughing about this when my elder sis called her. And now she also laughing. Becos she was laughing, I admitted that I didn't like to cramp also.
Father, why do I have loads of guilt? Anything that happen, I tend to take it. Even the CEO's retirement issue cos me problem and today she even said that I have to think of an extension for her. Well, firstly tell her. She has to retire. Any extension will be on new contract. I don't have to be made responsible for her. She has a bad way of making people responsible for her. Aiyah, let me take this as another of her got to find means of getting a 'royal title' for her.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
The thing is when something happen, I can see the whole thing and somehow I will also see how I contributed to it in a way or another and felt guilty. Mmm, tot of me tearing myself down. So, what if I don't want to cramp. So what if I didn't recall the extra bed. So what if I think elder sis need to pay. Why feel guilty when she didn't like it? Its true I wanted it but is also true she is unhappy becos of her own issue. Yeap.
Father, something here. Tell me more. I just know there is loads of guilt in me.
Just now the korean drama, the guy hold on to her despite her fear of her past. Gave her courage to feel. I like that. I hope to be protected like that too. A guy who is more courageous than me.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
Soul, I have always take pride on my critical perception. But perception may be coloured. And the thing is this critical perception generally leads to me being apologetic cos felt guilty, no matter how small. Father, there is something here. Tell me. Like today, CEO's charge on me 'not caring' and not taking responsibility for her contract is way offline, and telling me I must remember I don't just worked for the company. I got off tangent. Luckily spoke to the lawyer and she reminds me on the conflict of interest of advising both company and staff.
I am glad I am back. Father, guide me to calm her down and yet achieve my corporate role. Let me not be swarmed in by her veiled threats. Actually the fiasco this afternoon makes me determine that she be off.
Father, me just recovered from the retirement incident. And now the incident from sis which is frankly a small incident. The only mistake I did was forget about the addn bed. But how come I felt guilty and is running in our mind.
Just spoke the my younger sis, she was laughing about this when my elder sis called her. And now she also laughing. Becos she was laughing, I admitted that I didn't like to cramp also.
Father, why do I have loads of guilt? Anything that happen, I tend to take it. Even the CEO's retirement issue cos me problem and today she even said that I have to think of an extension for her. Well, firstly tell her. She has to retire. Any extension will be on new contract. I don't have to be made responsible for her. She has a bad way of making people responsible for her. Aiyah, let me take this as another of her got to find means of getting a 'royal title' for her.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
The thing is when something happen, I can see the whole thing and somehow I will also see how I contributed to it in a way or another and felt guilty. Mmm, tot of me tearing myself down. So, what if I don't want to cramp. So what if I didn't recall the extra bed. So what if I think elder sis need to pay. Why feel guilty when she didn't like it? Its true I wanted it but is also true she is unhappy becos of her own issue. Yeap.
Father, something here. Tell me more. I just know there is loads of guilt in me.
Just now the korean drama, the guy hold on to her despite her fear of her past. Gave her courage to feel. I like that. I hope to be protected like that too. A guy who is more courageous than me.
Transformation game
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
Soul, I have always take pride on my critical perception. But perception may be coloured. And the thing is this critical perception generally leads to me being apologetic cos felt guilty, no matter how small. Father, there is something here. Tell me. Like today, CEO's charge on me 'not caring' and not taking responsibility for her contract is way offline, and telling me I must remember I don't just worked for the company. I got off tangent. Luckily spoke to the lawyer and she reminds me on the conflict of interest of advising both company and staff.
I am glad I am back. Father, guide me to calm her down and yet achieve my corporate role. Let me not be swarmed in by her veiled threats. Actually the fiasco this afternoon makes me determine that she be off.
Freedom to is responsiblity (2)
Nov 22
Father, today I would tell CEO about her retirement date. It has been troubling me and my joints are aching.
But I did suria this morning and it was quite effortless. Breathing not great, but not bad either Shambavi not great.
But m glad of myself.
On the CEO, she may attacked me but I won't be caught in guilt. And besides she only asked me abt a month back. If she lay her new purchase of house/loan on me,
Osho
True freedom is not concerned with the outside world at all, it arises within u. It is freedom from all kinds of conditioning, religions, idealogies, political philosophies.
Meditation is nothing but the destruction of all these fetters and conditioning, the destruction of the whole person so that u can again be free under the sky and the stars, out in the open, available to existence.
The moment u r available to existence, existence is available to u. And the meeting of these two availabilities is ultimate bliss. But it can happen only in freedom. Freedom is the highest value, there is nothing higher.
Osho
When u r free, there is responsibilities. If there is no God, there is tremendous responsibilities. Infact absolute responsibilities because there is no way to unload the responsibility on anyone else.
If there is God, u can share responsibilities, u can throw ur responsibilities to Him; u can say "It is u who have made the world, it is U who have made me in this way, it is U who is finally, absolutely responsible, not me. I am just a creature and u r the creator.
With freedom comes responsibility. Freedom is responsibility. But the mind is cunning and interprets in its own way, it always listen to what I wants to listen to.
Freedom is possible only when u r so integrated that u can accept the responsibility of being free.
When I say to u that u r free, I mean that u r a god. Freedom is not license, it is a tremendous discipline.
Soul
Suddenly I tot of my upbringing. I used to judge my parents for not guiding me, for making me made decisions on my own and responsible for it.
Actually, its becos of that, I am conscious of my responsibility. I know I am self-protect. But I guess I took it too much, that I become responsible for people and events not within my control, resulting in guilt and helplessness.
Osho
On the outside life has to be a compromise. If u were alone on the earth, u would have been absolutely free, but u r not alone. Don't call it bondage. It is not dependence, it is inter-dependence. It is brotherhood, it is relatedness. Even the smallest grass is related to the greatest star.
Outer inter-dependence is a must, it is inevitable, nothing can be done about it. Accept it and accept it joyously and not in resignation.
Soul
I am fine with inter-dependence. Even my issue with authority is now gone. Its funny, I used to pray for CEO's early retirement. These last few months, we got on so well that I am fine with her. And here I found out her retirement only 1 year to go. I was even hoping she seek extension as Chairman. I would miss her, especially our lunches.
Osho
Inner freedom is possible. Watch ur body, watch ur tots processes. Watch and witness the whole process of ur tots. And slowly u will see u r neither anger nor greed, neither Hindu nor Mohammedan, nor Christian and etc. Slowly u become aware that u r not any tot. U r not ur mind at all. U r a pure witness. The experience of pure witnessing is the experience of total freedom, but it is an inward phenomenon.
And a person who is inwardly totally free has no hankering to be outwardly free. Such a person is capable of accepting nature as it is.
Remember on a person who is totally free can surrender.
Soul
Perhaps that's why I am tolerant of most things and hardly affected by environment.
I used to be affected by food and work. Both has reduced considerably.
I used to be affected by money, and now getting less affected.
Soul
Suddenly I see the beauty of the early retirement date for CEO. She wanted to get out, but cannot get out on her own. She has to be forced out. The Universe is kind to her and need her only to stay 1 year instead of 2 years.
Her house to be sold at whatever price she can. Besides, she has 1 year to go. As for her new purchase/loan, she can ask her Financial Planner to work it out.
So everything is fine. This is a turnaround my earlier despair. I guess I was projecting my worry to her instead.
Father, today I would tell CEO about her retirement date. It has been troubling me and my joints are aching.
But I did suria this morning and it was quite effortless. Breathing not great, but not bad either Shambavi not great.
But m glad of myself.
On the CEO, she may attacked me but I won't be caught in guilt. And besides she only asked me abt a month back. If she lay her new purchase of house/loan on me,
Osho
True freedom is not concerned with the outside world at all, it arises within u. It is freedom from all kinds of conditioning, religions, idealogies, political philosophies.
Meditation is nothing but the destruction of all these fetters and conditioning, the destruction of the whole person so that u can again be free under the sky and the stars, out in the open, available to existence.
The moment u r available to existence, existence is available to u. And the meeting of these two availabilities is ultimate bliss. But it can happen only in freedom. Freedom is the highest value, there is nothing higher.
Osho
When u r free, there is responsibilities. If there is no God, there is tremendous responsibilities. Infact absolute responsibilities because there is no way to unload the responsibility on anyone else.
If there is God, u can share responsibilities, u can throw ur responsibilities to Him; u can say "It is u who have made the world, it is U who have made me in this way, it is U who is finally, absolutely responsible, not me. I am just a creature and u r the creator.
With freedom comes responsibility. Freedom is responsibility. But the mind is cunning and interprets in its own way, it always listen to what I wants to listen to.
Freedom is possible only when u r so integrated that u can accept the responsibility of being free.
When I say to u that u r free, I mean that u r a god. Freedom is not license, it is a tremendous discipline.
Soul
Suddenly I tot of my upbringing. I used to judge my parents for not guiding me, for making me made decisions on my own and responsible for it.
Actually, its becos of that, I am conscious of my responsibility. I know I am self-protect. But I guess I took it too much, that I become responsible for people and events not within my control, resulting in guilt and helplessness.
Osho
On the outside life has to be a compromise. If u were alone on the earth, u would have been absolutely free, but u r not alone. Don't call it bondage. It is not dependence, it is inter-dependence. It is brotherhood, it is relatedness. Even the smallest grass is related to the greatest star.
Outer inter-dependence is a must, it is inevitable, nothing can be done about it. Accept it and accept it joyously and not in resignation.
Soul
I am fine with inter-dependence. Even my issue with authority is now gone. Its funny, I used to pray for CEO's early retirement. These last few months, we got on so well that I am fine with her. And here I found out her retirement only 1 year to go. I was even hoping she seek extension as Chairman. I would miss her, especially our lunches.
Osho
Inner freedom is possible. Watch ur body, watch ur tots processes. Watch and witness the whole process of ur tots. And slowly u will see u r neither anger nor greed, neither Hindu nor Mohammedan, nor Christian and etc. Slowly u become aware that u r not any tot. U r not ur mind at all. U r a pure witness. The experience of pure witnessing is the experience of total freedom, but it is an inward phenomenon.
And a person who is inwardly totally free has no hankering to be outwardly free. Such a person is capable of accepting nature as it is.
Remember on a person who is totally free can surrender.
Soul
Perhaps that's why I am tolerant of most things and hardly affected by environment.
I used to be affected by food and work. Both has reduced considerably.
I used to be affected by money, and now getting less affected.
Soul
Suddenly I see the beauty of the early retirement date for CEO. She wanted to get out, but cannot get out on her own. She has to be forced out. The Universe is kind to her and need her only to stay 1 year instead of 2 years.
Her house to be sold at whatever price she can. Besides, she has 1 year to go. As for her new purchase/loan, she can ask her Financial Planner to work it out.
So everything is fine. This is a turnaround my earlier despair. I guess I was projecting my worry to her instead.
No self-worth projects into unworthiness of being loved
Nov 21
Father, suddenly tot of checking fly image, but found ebook design. Then further clicks, I found a comprehensive ebook design, advertisers and etc. They even does proof read. They are based in Australia. My market is overseas, that's good.
I needed some help in this. Searching for just firefly image and the tot of creating an ebook template is slowing me down. Even the website that V is doing is also so slow.
Suddenly tot that this is my Passion and I alone must do it. Earlier I have relied on C and so many months of delay, until I lost the momentum. And now with the website and ebook, also the same. Need to increase the momentum as only half year to go for this great period of mine. And also there is only one year before CEO's retirement, not sure if I can hold on to the 4-days week.
At first tot of the money I have to spend. Second tot is I am still working and I have more than enough money. I will do an investment. I will invest in my Passion. I and only I are responsible for materialising my Passion.
Even for proof-reading. I needed someone that is as passionate about my writing and can provide the enhancement.
Evening
I was reviewing the edited ebook to ensure contents are what I have written. As I was reading, I suddenly mentally replaced the word 'valuation' with 'worth'
I suddenly have an insight that my sense of valuation is my sense of worth.
I need to ensure constant good deliverable in order to feel worthy. I attached my worthiness to my doing.
A tot came in, I must have a low sense of worthiness.
Father, it is humbling. Somehow valuation is not as hurtful as worthiness. Cos valuation is higher than worthiness.
Father, if I relied on my constant high quality deliverable to ensure my sense of self-worth, it could mean I don't feel worthy at all.
Was going thru the ebook, further down an article that talked about my physical sympthons with interpretation from Louis Hays.
Nose stuffy - not recognising self worth
Father, despite my yoga and meditation, my nose is still stuffy every morning. While I have identified the symptom, I never associate myself with it cos I tot I have self-worth since I have a sense of ego.
Mmm, moving down
Fat arms - anger at being denied love.
Father, no wonder these 2 symptoms still persisted.
When I don't have self worth, I would not think m worthy of love. That's why I keep on thinking I deserved to be rejected.
Father, U r really great! Finally, the pix is out.
Father, suddenly tot of checking fly image, but found ebook design. Then further clicks, I found a comprehensive ebook design, advertisers and etc. They even does proof read. They are based in Australia. My market is overseas, that's good.
I needed some help in this. Searching for just firefly image and the tot of creating an ebook template is slowing me down. Even the website that V is doing is also so slow.
Suddenly tot that this is my Passion and I alone must do it. Earlier I have relied on C and so many months of delay, until I lost the momentum. And now with the website and ebook, also the same. Need to increase the momentum as only half year to go for this great period of mine. And also there is only one year before CEO's retirement, not sure if I can hold on to the 4-days week.
At first tot of the money I have to spend. Second tot is I am still working and I have more than enough money. I will do an investment. I will invest in my Passion. I and only I are responsible for materialising my Passion.
Even for proof-reading. I needed someone that is as passionate about my writing and can provide the enhancement.
Evening
I was reviewing the edited ebook to ensure contents are what I have written. As I was reading, I suddenly mentally replaced the word 'valuation' with 'worth'
I suddenly have an insight that my sense of valuation is my sense of worth.
I need to ensure constant good deliverable in order to feel worthy. I attached my worthiness to my doing.
A tot came in, I must have a low sense of worthiness.
Father, it is humbling. Somehow valuation is not as hurtful as worthiness. Cos valuation is higher than worthiness.
Father, if I relied on my constant high quality deliverable to ensure my sense of self-worth, it could mean I don't feel worthy at all.
Was going thru the ebook, further down an article that talked about my physical sympthons with interpretation from Louis Hays.
Nose stuffy - not recognising self worth
Father, despite my yoga and meditation, my nose is still stuffy every morning. While I have identified the symptom, I never associate myself with it cos I tot I have self-worth since I have a sense of ego.
Mmm, moving down
Fat arms - anger at being denied love.
Father, no wonder these 2 symptoms still persisted.
When I don't have self worth, I would not think m worthy of love. That's why I keep on thinking I deserved to be rejected.
Father, U r really great! Finally, the pix is out.
Freedom to is responsiblity
Nov 20
Father, today I just chilled after my practice and swim.
I did my samyama in the morning. Was pondering to do morning samyama and evening too. Will see.
Today when swimming, the right elbow was stiff but no pain. There were loads of people swimming and I found myself panicking when they swam too near to me. Then I tot why I still afraid, last week I wasn't. I m trying to swim the same pace as last week. Then a tot came, just enjoy urself. With that, I swam even slower and I didn't finish the whole lap. I found myself just enjoying the swim.
Father, our life pace differ from day to day. On certain days we go forward and certain day status quo and at times backward. We r ok that flower sometimes bloom big and sometimes small, but why r we hard on ourselves and insist that we be the same every time.
A tot came, I tot u say choose the difficult road so u won't have regret.
True, but we r not changing the road, we r just pacing ourselves according to our capacity. So, allow for the ups, status quo and down.
Diamond Heart
With understanding, the mind will relax, since the mind holds on to mental reality only because it believes it is reality.
Keep reminding urself of how u r taking reality to be what u see with ur eyes, what u hear with ur ears, and how that restricts what u are and what ur world is.
Sadhguru
People who are multi-tasking are going in five different directions at the same time.
If one wants to go somewhere, one has to stick to one thing.
Soul
Tot of Plan A only. Tot my fear over the talk with CeO on her retirement age is because I still have Plan B. Well, my focus is PLan A. She can't touch me.
Just now watching korean drama. The gal flop on her first show. This was her great opportunity and she failed. I guess I was thinking about my own writings.
Father, today I just chilled after my practice and swim.
I did my samyama in the morning. Was pondering to do morning samyama and evening too. Will see.
Today when swimming, the right elbow was stiff but no pain. There were loads of people swimming and I found myself panicking when they swam too near to me. Then I tot why I still afraid, last week I wasn't. I m trying to swim the same pace as last week. Then a tot came, just enjoy urself. With that, I swam even slower and I didn't finish the whole lap. I found myself just enjoying the swim.
Father, our life pace differ from day to day. On certain days we go forward and certain day status quo and at times backward. We r ok that flower sometimes bloom big and sometimes small, but why r we hard on ourselves and insist that we be the same every time.
A tot came, I tot u say choose the difficult road so u won't have regret.
True, but we r not changing the road, we r just pacing ourselves according to our capacity. So, allow for the ups, status quo and down.
Diamond Heart
With understanding, the mind will relax, since the mind holds on to mental reality only because it believes it is reality.
Keep reminding urself of how u r taking reality to be what u see with ur eyes, what u hear with ur ears, and how that restricts what u are and what ur world is.
Sadhguru
People who are multi-tasking are going in five different directions at the same time.
If one wants to go somewhere, one has to stick to one thing.
Soul
Tot of Plan A only. Tot my fear over the talk with CeO on her retirement age is because I still have Plan B. Well, my focus is PLan A. She can't touch me.
Just now watching korean drama. The gal flop on her first show. This was her great opportunity and she failed. I guess I was thinking about my own writings.
Joy Ong
Nov 19
Father, did suria, good. Followed by shakti and shambavi. Both also good.
I am changing routine for my off days so I can freed up my evening. Shoonya and samyama to do late at night.
As for breathing, m doing it doing driving and watching TV.
On CEO's issue on retirement. I will not feel guilty about it as I sincerely and so does a lot of people tot abt it. Actually come to think of it, perhaps she knew. As for the retrenchment benefit, is a non issue since she cannot be laid off. Anyway, as for her purchase of a new condo, she never seek advice from me and hence cannot hold me.
Have to go back to attend meeting. But I ask for half day annual leave instead. Today will just update blog at Starbucks.
Osho
Live in the society and be loving, and live as a nobody; then u can enjoy and you can celebrate. And by celebrating and enjoying, u will spread the ripples of ecstasy to other people.
A single person dropping the old structure of the mind creates such a great space for many to transform their lives that is incredible, unimaginable, unbelievable. A single person transforming himself becomes a trigger; then many more start changing. His presence becomes a catalytic agent.
Soul
I may be arrogant, but I tot it refers to me too :)
Osho
You become a silent, meditative, loving person. Be more in a dance and then see what happens. Somebody, sooner or later, is bound to join the dance with u, and then more and more people will.
Once the new is within u, the new is infectious, contagious; it starts spreading into other people.
Joy is contagious! Laugh, and u will see that others start laughing.
Soul
Yeap, this could be me. My name is Joy Ong.
Soul
Tot this msg ask me not to worry about my venture. I just be myself, continue to write. Sooner or later, they will join me. And I would have a group of people that I can shine with.
Father, did suria, good. Followed by shakti and shambavi. Both also good.
I am changing routine for my off days so I can freed up my evening. Shoonya and samyama to do late at night.
As for breathing, m doing it doing driving and watching TV.
On CEO's issue on retirement. I will not feel guilty about it as I sincerely and so does a lot of people tot abt it. Actually come to think of it, perhaps she knew. As for the retrenchment benefit, is a non issue since she cannot be laid off. Anyway, as for her purchase of a new condo, she never seek advice from me and hence cannot hold me.
Have to go back to attend meeting. But I ask for half day annual leave instead. Today will just update blog at Starbucks.
Osho
Live in the society and be loving, and live as a nobody; then u can enjoy and you can celebrate. And by celebrating and enjoying, u will spread the ripples of ecstasy to other people.
A single person dropping the old structure of the mind creates such a great space for many to transform their lives that is incredible, unimaginable, unbelievable. A single person transforming himself becomes a trigger; then many more start changing. His presence becomes a catalytic agent.
Soul
I may be arrogant, but I tot it refers to me too :)
Osho
You become a silent, meditative, loving person. Be more in a dance and then see what happens. Somebody, sooner or later, is bound to join the dance with u, and then more and more people will.
Once the new is within u, the new is infectious, contagious; it starts spreading into other people.
Joy is contagious! Laugh, and u will see that others start laughing.
Soul
Yeap, this could be me. My name is Joy Ong.
Soul
Tot this msg ask me not to worry about my venture. I just be myself, continue to write. Sooner or later, they will join me. And I would have a group of people that I can shine with.
Freedom from and Freedom to, is different (2)
Nov 18 Eve
Father, yeap a change of mindset. Earlier tot of quitting together with CEO, 2 years, but now only 1 year to go. At least CEO has the asset to sell. Me, still don't have.
This morning, email from S didn't say anything about my article and I guess confidence took a hit. But like I told Sh, to do my own thing - has to take full responsibility for the success and failure. I know writing is my thing. So, just do it and also need to maintain a positive mindset. Do I think it will inspire people? Yes. Both V and An said yes, its good. And chicken soup for soul faced so many rejection before it got published. So, I can too. Just remember the extrapolation of the 20 percents wins cos I need a mind shift.
Yea, the one year will make me focus. Just Plan A, not plan B, or C.
Diamond Heart
We generally live from an incomplete perception, taking a small dimension of reality to be all that there is. Unless we actualise realise reality in its totality, we will be misguided and inefficient in dealing with the situations in our lives.
To actually comprehend the greater reality not only helps us to deal with our lives, but also show that reality is something more beautiful, real and majestic than we have imagined. It is ultimately a beautiful mystery and seeing it is bound to change us and change our live.
Soul
Tot of my articles lighting up people's mind so they can have a bigger view of the world and themselves. Once their mind is lit up, the rest will follow.
Diamond Heart
Objective perception requires that we apprehend or perceive without the usual filters, without the projections of the past onto the present.
You can discover that the world u live in is determined by what u believe the world to be.
To experience things without concepts means to experience things without the past, with absolutely no mind, because mind is the filter we put on reality.
Father, yeap a change of mindset. Earlier tot of quitting together with CEO, 2 years, but now only 1 year to go. At least CEO has the asset to sell. Me, still don't have.
This morning, email from S didn't say anything about my article and I guess confidence took a hit. But like I told Sh, to do my own thing - has to take full responsibility for the success and failure. I know writing is my thing. So, just do it and also need to maintain a positive mindset. Do I think it will inspire people? Yes. Both V and An said yes, its good. And chicken soup for soul faced so many rejection before it got published. So, I can too. Just remember the extrapolation of the 20 percents wins cos I need a mind shift.
Yea, the one year will make me focus. Just Plan A, not plan B, or C.
Diamond Heart
We generally live from an incomplete perception, taking a small dimension of reality to be all that there is. Unless we actualise realise reality in its totality, we will be misguided and inefficient in dealing with the situations in our lives.
To actually comprehend the greater reality not only helps us to deal with our lives, but also show that reality is something more beautiful, real and majestic than we have imagined. It is ultimately a beautiful mystery and seeing it is bound to change us and change our live.
Soul
Tot of my articles lighting up people's mind so they can have a bigger view of the world and themselves. Once their mind is lit up, the rest will follow.
Diamond Heart
Objective perception requires that we apprehend or perceive without the usual filters, without the projections of the past onto the present.
You can discover that the world u live in is determined by what u believe the world to be.
To experience things without concepts means to experience things without the past, with absolutely no mind, because mind is the filter we put on reality.
Freedom from and Freedom to, is different
Nov 18
Father, did my shakti this morning since tonite cannot do. Also was thinking of doing same for Friday. Then I won't be tied down by meditation and can eat normal dinner time. Will do samyama in the evening before I sleep.
(Dec 16 - now doing that. Its great and I felt like its an off day instead of working day. Father, I have to admit, meditation is tough work)
I finally took the medicine cos don't want it to be wasted. And I managed to find the right timing for the pills interval. Before hatha, take tonic, after practice take raja pills and after shower take the bitter/spicy pill with honey. Our minds puts up load of resistance and once we decided to do, things just fell into place.
This morning while I was showering, I tot I have actually changed my life style. Waking up at 4am, daily exercise, morning shower, something that is not me at all. So, instead of judging that I didn't change, there is outer transformation. And now I find myself breathe watching when watching television. Yday evening, when my brother asked me to let him see his movie instead. I just concede. Went up to my room and do samyama, followed by reading, no drama at all. I think samyama really got something. Not an easy meditation to do, and results is subtle, but is there.
Osho
Raising the consciousness of people so that human society becomes a harmonious whole, a vast commune all around the world.
People meditate, people without guilt, people with great serenity, silence, people rejoicing, dancing, singing, people who have no desire to compete with anyone, people who have dropped the very idea that they are special and have to prove it by becoming the president of America people, people who are no longer suffering from any inferiority complex, so nobody wants to be superior, nobody brags about his greatness.
Soul
I want that.
Osho
Freedom from is always from the past and freedom for is always for the future.
Freedom for is a spiritual dimension because u r moving into the unknown and perhaps, one day, into the unknowable. It will give u wings.
Freedom from, at the most, can take away ur handcuffs. It is not necessarily beneficial - and the whole history is proof of it.
If u r demolishing ur old house, if u r intelligent, u should at least prepare a blueprint for the new house. It would be best if u prepare the new house before u demolish the old. Otherwise u will be without a house and then u will suffer - because it is better to be in the old house than to be without a house.
Soul
A reminder for me to get my website and ebook in place before I quit my corporate job. Not sure abt quitting. I don't mind doing 3 days.
This also same msg on the Retirement plan. Don't just focus on freedom from working, have to focus on freedom to do something, otherwise u will dwindle and lose ur sense. U must be prepared for what freedom is. U may know how to tear down the wall, but not know how to build.
Soul
A great reminder.
Osho
Basically u r free to choose, but once u choose, ur very choice brings a limitation. If u want to remain totally free, don't choose. That's where the teaching of choiceless awareness comes in. And that's the reason on why the insistence of the great masters just to be aware and not choose.
Soul
Suddenly tot that I too need to change in my new role as a writer. Instead of covering myself with security, controlling things to be in place, I now need to invest, to open up, to create. Its a different mode.
When I was working in corporate, I can blame the 'authority' if things doesn't goes well, cos I followed orders. I don't have the authority to change things.
But when I am writing, there is no blame if things doesn't work out. I also need to create things.
Suddenly I tot of P. She was happy to be freed from working. Her only plan for future was to be writing and renovated her office. But since no plan, there was nothing and she now a part timer in a training house. Actually no growth lah.
I am be focused on my plan to be a Transformational leader. Use my 3 of Diamond, instead of worry, be creative.
Tarthang Tulku
Viewing freedom as intrinsic to our being, we discover that our lives are what we make them. All doors are open, our choices are unlimited.
Father, did my shakti this morning since tonite cannot do. Also was thinking of doing same for Friday. Then I won't be tied down by meditation and can eat normal dinner time. Will do samyama in the evening before I sleep.
(Dec 16 - now doing that. Its great and I felt like its an off day instead of working day. Father, I have to admit, meditation is tough work)
I finally took the medicine cos don't want it to be wasted. And I managed to find the right timing for the pills interval. Before hatha, take tonic, after practice take raja pills and after shower take the bitter/spicy pill with honey. Our minds puts up load of resistance and once we decided to do, things just fell into place.
This morning while I was showering, I tot I have actually changed my life style. Waking up at 4am, daily exercise, morning shower, something that is not me at all. So, instead of judging that I didn't change, there is outer transformation. And now I find myself breathe watching when watching television. Yday evening, when my brother asked me to let him see his movie instead. I just concede. Went up to my room and do samyama, followed by reading, no drama at all. I think samyama really got something. Not an easy meditation to do, and results is subtle, but is there.
Osho
Raising the consciousness of people so that human society becomes a harmonious whole, a vast commune all around the world.
People meditate, people without guilt, people with great serenity, silence, people rejoicing, dancing, singing, people who have no desire to compete with anyone, people who have dropped the very idea that they are special and have to prove it by becoming the president of America people, people who are no longer suffering from any inferiority complex, so nobody wants to be superior, nobody brags about his greatness.
Soul
I want that.
Osho
Freedom from is always from the past and freedom for is always for the future.
Freedom for is a spiritual dimension because u r moving into the unknown and perhaps, one day, into the unknowable. It will give u wings.
Freedom from, at the most, can take away ur handcuffs. It is not necessarily beneficial - and the whole history is proof of it.
If u r demolishing ur old house, if u r intelligent, u should at least prepare a blueprint for the new house. It would be best if u prepare the new house before u demolish the old. Otherwise u will be without a house and then u will suffer - because it is better to be in the old house than to be without a house.
Soul
A reminder for me to get my website and ebook in place before I quit my corporate job. Not sure abt quitting. I don't mind doing 3 days.
This also same msg on the Retirement plan. Don't just focus on freedom from working, have to focus on freedom to do something, otherwise u will dwindle and lose ur sense. U must be prepared for what freedom is. U may know how to tear down the wall, but not know how to build.
Soul
A great reminder.
Osho
Basically u r free to choose, but once u choose, ur very choice brings a limitation. If u want to remain totally free, don't choose. That's where the teaching of choiceless awareness comes in. And that's the reason on why the insistence of the great masters just to be aware and not choose.
Soul
Suddenly tot that I too need to change in my new role as a writer. Instead of covering myself with security, controlling things to be in place, I now need to invest, to open up, to create. Its a different mode.
When I was working in corporate, I can blame the 'authority' if things doesn't goes well, cos I followed orders. I don't have the authority to change things.
But when I am writing, there is no blame if things doesn't work out. I also need to create things.
Suddenly I tot of P. She was happy to be freed from working. Her only plan for future was to be writing and renovated her office. But since no plan, there was nothing and she now a part timer in a training house. Actually no growth lah.
I am be focused on my plan to be a Transformational leader. Use my 3 of Diamond, instead of worry, be creative.
Tarthang Tulku
Viewing freedom as intrinsic to our being, we discover that our lives are what we make them. All doors are open, our choices are unlimited.
Samyama is a good tool
Nov 17
Father, yday didn't do meditation cos have dinner. Today is public holiday and can't do as got dinner with guest. Tomorrow also got dinner, so cannot do also.
Mind is making me feel guilt. Nevermind, I did my morning session.
Today breathe meditation is so peaceful. I felt so at ease sitting there. Didn't want to end. Also, the relax part after hatha yoga, I stayed on for 15 min. It was great. In future, will stay on.
Evening
Did my samyama, albeit only 20 min. Its getting easier.
Diamond Heart.
With experience, we can begin to see how thoughts can actually create confusion and prolong unpleasant states of mind. Eventually it will become more obvious how one tot generates another, and how the momentum of tots tends to build on itself, cycling and recycling impulses through the mind.
Soul
Exactly, tots extrapolates, especially negative one. A tot came, cos negative one has past connection and hence build up is faster and longer.
Diamond Heart
Seeing these patterns of tots being woven together before our eyes, we may ask whether they actually create a solid cloth. Perhaps it is possible to view ourselves - not just our personality, appearance and activities,but the root of our being - in a different way. Such a fresh and open view could relieve the mind of the tendencies that freeze experience and makes us vulnerable to confusion. Once we know it is possible to loosen the hold of concepts that entangle us in emotional pain, we have taken the first steps toward a new understanding that could transform the quality of all our experience.
Soul
I know and now experiencing it. Whenever, m in my defensive mode, especially due to self-perceived 'rejection' from others. I would stop and see the tots from another angle.
Diamond Heart
With greater insight into who we are, what we are, what we perceive, feel, understand and interpret in the manner we do, everything we know might be considered from an entirely new perspective. Then we could analyse our assumptions more deeply, deciding for ourselves what it is possible to change or not to change, which ways of thinking are healthy and valuable, and which involves us in needless suffering.
As we continue to question, our tos may grow more vital and clear, opening up new possibilities for self-understanding and more control over the direction of our lives.
Soul
I know and experiencing it now, especially in the pool. This msg is similar to self-mastery; which is my dream.
Father, yday didn't do meditation cos have dinner. Today is public holiday and can't do as got dinner with guest. Tomorrow also got dinner, so cannot do also.
Mind is making me feel guilt. Nevermind, I did my morning session.
Today breathe meditation is so peaceful. I felt so at ease sitting there. Didn't want to end. Also, the relax part after hatha yoga, I stayed on for 15 min. It was great. In future, will stay on.
Evening
Did my samyama, albeit only 20 min. Its getting easier.
Diamond Heart.
With experience, we can begin to see how thoughts can actually create confusion and prolong unpleasant states of mind. Eventually it will become more obvious how one tot generates another, and how the momentum of tots tends to build on itself, cycling and recycling impulses through the mind.
Soul
Exactly, tots extrapolates, especially negative one. A tot came, cos negative one has past connection and hence build up is faster and longer.
Diamond Heart
Seeing these patterns of tots being woven together before our eyes, we may ask whether they actually create a solid cloth. Perhaps it is possible to view ourselves - not just our personality, appearance and activities,but the root of our being - in a different way. Such a fresh and open view could relieve the mind of the tendencies that freeze experience and makes us vulnerable to confusion. Once we know it is possible to loosen the hold of concepts that entangle us in emotional pain, we have taken the first steps toward a new understanding that could transform the quality of all our experience.
Soul
I know and now experiencing it. Whenever, m in my defensive mode, especially due to self-perceived 'rejection' from others. I would stop and see the tots from another angle.
Diamond Heart
With greater insight into who we are, what we are, what we perceive, feel, understand and interpret in the manner we do, everything we know might be considered from an entirely new perspective. Then we could analyse our assumptions more deeply, deciding for ourselves what it is possible to change or not to change, which ways of thinking are healthy and valuable, and which involves us in needless suffering.
As we continue to question, our tos may grow more vital and clear, opening up new possibilities for self-understanding and more control over the direction of our lives.
Soul
I know and experiencing it now, especially in the pool. This msg is similar to self-mastery; which is my dream.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Awareness clearing compulsive tots (4)
Nov 16 Eve
College founder on his success.
We just did what we believed in. We never pursued profit or thought about how much money to make. It all happened from honest hard work. If we had thought about the money then we may not have been so successful - the driving force would have been different.
Soul
Tot about my website. Looks like I also need to pay monthly USD25 for the commercial, USD18 for the proof-read and annual website and etc. Of cos, first tot, would I make it back. Then I told myself I can afford to pay this miscellaneous money as I am employed.
My point of having the site is to share my writing. Is to fulfill my Passion and to create an alternative career when I retire early. My aim is by age 45.
So reading the College founder msg reminds me to go back to my Passion.
Focus on Jan 2011 launch. Amen.
Evening
Just now watching the korean drama, a sad show, I was watching my breathe. Noted that I m not caught up with the drama.
Just on the way driving back. I felt happy and I suddenly say I love me. I recalled I used to say I love A previously. Alas, I am myself. I am also listening to radio after 2 years of just listening to isha song/music.
Diamond Heart
When we observe the mind at work, it may not appear to be very important. But over a period of time, we can begin to observe with an unforced, relaxed concentration that may be a new experience in itself. This way of looking inward might lead to important insights into the nature of tot, as well as a new awareness of the connections between tots and feelings.
Soul
Earlier was thinking of image for book. At first tot of desserts. But in the late afternoon, I suddenly recalled Firefly bringing lights. And that will be the image I want. Also thinking to change the ebook to Firefly Vol 1.
Joyride..it will be. But to get a pix to denote joyride will not be easy.
Father, m going to change the ebook name to Firefly. If m to retain Joyride, I will get the pix.
Diamond Heart
Left to themselves, tots tend to carry on to a point where they pause, almost as if they have converged at a blank wall. At any time, the mind may be silent for a moment. This seeming "dead end" where tots melt into a single point could be a gateway to new knowledge. Focusing on this point with balanced concentration, we might see possibilities for a way of knowing that lies beyond our accustomed pattern of thinking. If we remain relaxed and aware, we might sense a feeling of brightness, as if light shining through the silence.
Soul
Wonder could this be the laughter that escape when I reached tail end of my focus during samyama.
Diamond Heart
Observing ur tots - u r not concerned with the contents of the tos, u just look at the strings of tots. U just want to see it as a tot. If u continue looking, jus watching it in a relaxed, balance way and not reacting to the tot, u might see that there are gaps between tots, and u might experience the quality of the gap.
Soul
What a coincidence. This book reinforce samyama.
Yea, its not to hold the pix/content. It just to be aware tots are running thru my mind. M on the right track for samyama.
College founder on his success.
We just did what we believed in. We never pursued profit or thought about how much money to make. It all happened from honest hard work. If we had thought about the money then we may not have been so successful - the driving force would have been different.
Soul
Tot about my website. Looks like I also need to pay monthly USD25 for the commercial, USD18 for the proof-read and annual website and etc. Of cos, first tot, would I make it back. Then I told myself I can afford to pay this miscellaneous money as I am employed.
My point of having the site is to share my writing. Is to fulfill my Passion and to create an alternative career when I retire early. My aim is by age 45.
So reading the College founder msg reminds me to go back to my Passion.
Focus on Jan 2011 launch. Amen.
Evening
Just now watching the korean drama, a sad show, I was watching my breathe. Noted that I m not caught up with the drama.
Just on the way driving back. I felt happy and I suddenly say I love me. I recalled I used to say I love A previously. Alas, I am myself. I am also listening to radio after 2 years of just listening to isha song/music.
Diamond Heart
When we observe the mind at work, it may not appear to be very important. But over a period of time, we can begin to observe with an unforced, relaxed concentration that may be a new experience in itself. This way of looking inward might lead to important insights into the nature of tot, as well as a new awareness of the connections between tots and feelings.
Soul
Earlier was thinking of image for book. At first tot of desserts. But in the late afternoon, I suddenly recalled Firefly bringing lights. And that will be the image I want. Also thinking to change the ebook to Firefly Vol 1.
Joyride..it will be. But to get a pix to denote joyride will not be easy.
Father, m going to change the ebook name to Firefly. If m to retain Joyride, I will get the pix.
Diamond Heart
Left to themselves, tots tend to carry on to a point where they pause, almost as if they have converged at a blank wall. At any time, the mind may be silent for a moment. This seeming "dead end" where tots melt into a single point could be a gateway to new knowledge. Focusing on this point with balanced concentration, we might see possibilities for a way of knowing that lies beyond our accustomed pattern of thinking. If we remain relaxed and aware, we might sense a feeling of brightness, as if light shining through the silence.
Soul
Wonder could this be the laughter that escape when I reached tail end of my focus during samyama.
Diamond Heart
Observing ur tots - u r not concerned with the contents of the tos, u just look at the strings of tots. U just want to see it as a tot. If u continue looking, jus watching it in a relaxed, balance way and not reacting to the tot, u might see that there are gaps between tots, and u might experience the quality of the gap.
Soul
What a coincidence. This book reinforce samyama.
Yea, its not to hold the pix/content. It just to be aware tots are running thru my mind. M on the right track for samyama.
Awareness clearing compulsive tots (3)
Nov 16
Father, thank U. I have changed my life style drastically. And now, I am coming back to the world, albeit in a different mode. Father, I am going into my Destiny. My website and sale of ebook will be launched in Jan 2011.
Osho
1. Issue.
Morality
Once ur morality come out of ur awareness, not out of a certain discipline, then u will respond in every situation out of ur awareness. And whatever u do will be good.
Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts, can we begin to see life as it really is.
2. Internal influence
Transformation.
This is a time for a deep let-go. Allow any pain, sorrow or difficulty just to be there, accepting its "facticity". It is very much like the experience of Gautam Buddha when after years of seeking, he finally gave in, knowing there was nothing more that he could do. That very night, he became enlightened.
Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And, like death, it takes u from one dimension into another.
Soul
After the clearing of cold, painful joints and disconnection from Universe, I am coming back to my Self. I just want to find my life's pace and follow my Destiny aa a writer. Subsequently, I will be a speaker.
Father, I am monitoring my breathe in order that I don't exceed my life pace.
On my article, best to get them proof-read first before I publish on the site so they know the quality. Besides, I now have found S, who can and want to proof-read for me. I knew she was in corp comm, but didn't know she also does editing. The beauty is that she want to do it and she can give me feedback too.
Its ironic, for months, I was looking for editor and finally got a freelance, but I find her not 'connected' and also she has load of anger and have sneaked in her feeling.
So, the Universe is helping me.
And the website, I didn't like it and now that I knew the set up that I want, it is not user friendly. So is great that V suggested a change to a modern template instead. The Ange of Efficiency is working for me. Also, message from Fairies -Your Wish is Granted!
What you've asked for is coming true.
It is truly happening. Thank U.
3. External influence
- Inner Voice
If u have found ur truth within urself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is forthcoming through u.
This is a tremendous meditation.
Then u live as truth - alive, radiant, contented, blissful, a song unto yourself. Your whole life becomes a prayer without any words, or better to say a prayerfulness, a grace, a beauty which does not belong to our mundane world.
4. What is needed for resolution
Consciousness.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. Accept this great gift, and share it.
Soul
Tot of me wanting to flow with my life's pace.
5. The resolution
Guilt
Forget all about sin and forget about saintliness; both are stupid. Both together have destroyed all the joys of humanity. Guilt is a burden and does not allow u to dance and sing.
When we punish ourselves for our failures by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.
You are absolutely okay as u are, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time. Just learn from it, move on and use the lesson not to make the same mistake again.
Soul
For past 2 months, I was having guilt in managing the rship between GM and CEO. Alas, it is slowing dropping off. Amen
Ace of Clubs
The birth of a new idea, plan or way of communicating with the world around u. This could also means a desire to pursue some new plans u make.
Soul
Yep, m focused on my website.
Father, thank U. I have changed my life style drastically. And now, I am coming back to the world, albeit in a different mode. Father, I am going into my Destiny. My website and sale of ebook will be launched in Jan 2011.
Osho
1. Issue.
Morality
Once ur morality come out of ur awareness, not out of a certain discipline, then u will respond in every situation out of ur awareness. And whatever u do will be good.
Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts, can we begin to see life as it really is.
2. Internal influence
Transformation.
This is a time for a deep let-go. Allow any pain, sorrow or difficulty just to be there, accepting its "facticity". It is very much like the experience of Gautam Buddha when after years of seeking, he finally gave in, knowing there was nothing more that he could do. That very night, he became enlightened.
Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And, like death, it takes u from one dimension into another.
Soul
After the clearing of cold, painful joints and disconnection from Universe, I am coming back to my Self. I just want to find my life's pace and follow my Destiny aa a writer. Subsequently, I will be a speaker.
Father, I am monitoring my breathe in order that I don't exceed my life pace.
On my article, best to get them proof-read first before I publish on the site so they know the quality. Besides, I now have found S, who can and want to proof-read for me. I knew she was in corp comm, but didn't know she also does editing. The beauty is that she want to do it and she can give me feedback too.
Its ironic, for months, I was looking for editor and finally got a freelance, but I find her not 'connected' and also she has load of anger and have sneaked in her feeling.
So, the Universe is helping me.
And the website, I didn't like it and now that I knew the set up that I want, it is not user friendly. So is great that V suggested a change to a modern template instead. The Ange of Efficiency is working for me. Also, message from Fairies -Your Wish is Granted!
What you've asked for is coming true.
It is truly happening. Thank U.
3. External influence
- Inner Voice
If u have found ur truth within urself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is forthcoming through u.
This is a tremendous meditation.
Then u live as truth - alive, radiant, contented, blissful, a song unto yourself. Your whole life becomes a prayer without any words, or better to say a prayerfulness, a grace, a beauty which does not belong to our mundane world.
4. What is needed for resolution
Consciousness.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. Accept this great gift, and share it.
Soul
Tot of me wanting to flow with my life's pace.
5. The resolution
Guilt
Forget all about sin and forget about saintliness; both are stupid. Both together have destroyed all the joys of humanity. Guilt is a burden and does not allow u to dance and sing.
When we punish ourselves for our failures by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.
You are absolutely okay as u are, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time. Just learn from it, move on and use the lesson not to make the same mistake again.
Soul
For past 2 months, I was having guilt in managing the rship between GM and CEO. Alas, it is slowing dropping off. Amen
Ace of Clubs
The birth of a new idea, plan or way of communicating with the world around u. This could also means a desire to pursue some new plans u make.
Soul
Yep, m focused on my website.
Awareness clearing compulsive tots (2)
Nov 15 Eve
Diamond Heart
The automatism of the mind. Reacting to reality through concepts underlies all ur personal patterns and issues and history. The automatism obscures awareness; losing touch with the open dynamic of the living moment, we live in a deadened world. That is we don't experience the pure perception in the moment. Our mind instantaneously responds and we instantaneously react. And this response and reaction is completely governed by inherited concepts.
To go beyond the mind, means to put ur mind "on hold", to put that automatic neuro-linguistic response "on hold". Then u can see what's actually there. Then what we see becomes a source of creativity so that even our words begin to express that creativity.
Soul
That's was my objective in seeking for the past 10 years. Unravelling and confronting my unconsciousness. Meditation was the tool that helped me to put my mind 'on hold' naturally.
Diamond Heart
If we reflect on the nature of concepts and how uncritically we accept the reality they create, it may seem that we are caught in the midst of some elaborate computer program that is operating without our conscious decision. And yet we tend to feel that we are in charge of our thinking. Are we running the program or is the program running us? Can we separate ourselves from the program and allow our tots and actions to be informed by a more comprehensive and trustworthy knowing intrinsic to our own being.
In the light of greater understanding, could we retrain our minds into a more satisfying way of seeing.
There may be ways to glimpse a more subtle side of our consciousness that could allow us to examine the fixed patterns of our minds more clearly. When we relax the body, we can slow the flow of thoughts and images and observe more directly the thought process itself.
Soul
Shoonya, breathe watching and samyama.
Father, I admit I was losing interest in samyama. And here Diamond Heart is saying this is the way out. Same like the Osho card of No-mind that I receive during samyama program. Amen.
Diamond Heart
The automatism of the mind. Reacting to reality through concepts underlies all ur personal patterns and issues and history. The automatism obscures awareness; losing touch with the open dynamic of the living moment, we live in a deadened world. That is we don't experience the pure perception in the moment. Our mind instantaneously responds and we instantaneously react. And this response and reaction is completely governed by inherited concepts.
To go beyond the mind, means to put ur mind "on hold", to put that automatic neuro-linguistic response "on hold". Then u can see what's actually there. Then what we see becomes a source of creativity so that even our words begin to express that creativity.
Soul
That's was my objective in seeking for the past 10 years. Unravelling and confronting my unconsciousness. Meditation was the tool that helped me to put my mind 'on hold' naturally.
Diamond Heart
If we reflect on the nature of concepts and how uncritically we accept the reality they create, it may seem that we are caught in the midst of some elaborate computer program that is operating without our conscious decision. And yet we tend to feel that we are in charge of our thinking. Are we running the program or is the program running us? Can we separate ourselves from the program and allow our tots and actions to be informed by a more comprehensive and trustworthy knowing intrinsic to our own being.
In the light of greater understanding, could we retrain our minds into a more satisfying way of seeing.
There may be ways to glimpse a more subtle side of our consciousness that could allow us to examine the fixed patterns of our minds more clearly. When we relax the body, we can slow the flow of thoughts and images and observe more directly the thought process itself.
Soul
Shoonya, breathe watching and samyama.
Father, I admit I was losing interest in samyama. And here Diamond Heart is saying this is the way out. Same like the Osho card of No-mind that I receive during samyama program. Amen.
Awareness brings freedom
Nov 15
Father, woke up fine at 4 am, feel rested. I think samyama before sleep is good. Will see.
Not sure why I was reluctant to do last Saturday.
Today suria was good. Mind was thinking of d korean drama show, the point when the hero knows that the heroin is a gal, so romantic, also his feeling for her for intense.
Then a tot arise about what the gal said about enjoying and making most of the present, since she doesn't have a future to look forward to. I spent 3 hours doing my articles and site and the next 2.5 hours watching d drama via web. Well, at least I found a good wifi cafe shop tat I can go to during weekend and even don't have to pay parking fee. Thanks.
Osho
Never repress anything. Repression is the greatest calamity that has happen to man.
A controlled mind, whenever it hears about freedom, immediately understands it as license. License is the opposite of control. Freedom is just in between, exactly in the middle, where there is no control and no license.
Freedom has its own discipline, but it is not enforced by any authority. It comes out of ur awareness, out of authenticity. Awareness brings freedom. In freedom, there is no need for control because there is no possibility for license. And in controlling, u miss the whole point of life which is celebration. How can u celebrate if u r too controlled?
Soul
Yea, tot of CEO's career and her house. She says she cannot let go of her house because she wants a good price so she can retire earlier. She says she cannot retire earlier becos she is waiting for a good price for the house. Her cut is to get good price is 3 years to her retirement. Its really chicken and egg. So, most likely she can only sell her house when she actually retire. And even then, she may not get the good price that she is waiting for 3 years. Meanwhile, she has not only be unhappy at work to earn money to maintain the house.
Mmm, how does that applies to me. I cannot let go of job cos I want to have security to pursue what I want. Did I delay in pursuing what I want. Yeap, but the ball is rolling. The site will be launched in January 2011. And then I can proceed.
Osho
When u r aware, u drop both control and license. One simply be himself - neither neurotic or erotic, available to all situations, ready to face whatever life brings, ready to accept and live - but always alert, conscious, aware, mindful.
So, the only thing to be constantly remembered is self-rememberance. You should not forget yourself. And always move from the innermost core of ur being. Let action flow from there, from ur very center of being, and whatever u do will be virtuous. Virtue is a function of awareness.
Soul
Tot of my insight yday, not only u must know ur Passion, u must also know ur pace.
Proof-reading - actually not that good as she try to impose her style. Anyway, next day will try out S, a member of our soul sisters group.
Osho
If u do something others like, society may praise u, but deep down u will go on condemning urself. Of what value is the praise of society? It is nothing but gossip. You have missed life for these foolish people who are all around for the sake of their good opinion.
Live life from ur very center. This is all that meditation is about. And by and by, u will come to feel a discipline that is not forced, not cultivated, which arises spontaneously, arises naturally like a flower blooms. Then u will have the whole of life available, and u will have ur whole being available. And when ur whole being and the whole life meet, between the two arises that which is freedom. Between the two arises that which is nirvana.
Soul
One thing about me is authenticity. I be myself even if I get judged, even if I feel hurt that I receive bad opinion.
What is unconscious, I don't know. But at least I know about following my passion and now following my own life's pace.
Father, woke up fine at 4 am, feel rested. I think samyama before sleep is good. Will see.
Not sure why I was reluctant to do last Saturday.
Today suria was good. Mind was thinking of d korean drama show, the point when the hero knows that the heroin is a gal, so romantic, also his feeling for her for intense.
Then a tot arise about what the gal said about enjoying and making most of the present, since she doesn't have a future to look forward to. I spent 3 hours doing my articles and site and the next 2.5 hours watching d drama via web. Well, at least I found a good wifi cafe shop tat I can go to during weekend and even don't have to pay parking fee. Thanks.
Osho
Never repress anything. Repression is the greatest calamity that has happen to man.
A controlled mind, whenever it hears about freedom, immediately understands it as license. License is the opposite of control. Freedom is just in between, exactly in the middle, where there is no control and no license.
Freedom has its own discipline, but it is not enforced by any authority. It comes out of ur awareness, out of authenticity. Awareness brings freedom. In freedom, there is no need for control because there is no possibility for license. And in controlling, u miss the whole point of life which is celebration. How can u celebrate if u r too controlled?
Soul
Yea, tot of CEO's career and her house. She says she cannot let go of her house because she wants a good price so she can retire earlier. She says she cannot retire earlier becos she is waiting for a good price for the house. Her cut is to get good price is 3 years to her retirement. Its really chicken and egg. So, most likely she can only sell her house when she actually retire. And even then, she may not get the good price that she is waiting for 3 years. Meanwhile, she has not only be unhappy at work to earn money to maintain the house.
Mmm, how does that applies to me. I cannot let go of job cos I want to have security to pursue what I want. Did I delay in pursuing what I want. Yeap, but the ball is rolling. The site will be launched in January 2011. And then I can proceed.
Osho
When u r aware, u drop both control and license. One simply be himself - neither neurotic or erotic, available to all situations, ready to face whatever life brings, ready to accept and live - but always alert, conscious, aware, mindful.
So, the only thing to be constantly remembered is self-rememberance. You should not forget yourself. And always move from the innermost core of ur being. Let action flow from there, from ur very center of being, and whatever u do will be virtuous. Virtue is a function of awareness.
Soul
Tot of my insight yday, not only u must know ur Passion, u must also know ur pace.
Proof-reading - actually not that good as she try to impose her style. Anyway, next day will try out S, a member of our soul sisters group.
Osho
If u do something others like, society may praise u, but deep down u will go on condemning urself. Of what value is the praise of society? It is nothing but gossip. You have missed life for these foolish people who are all around for the sake of their good opinion.
Live life from ur very center. This is all that meditation is about. And by and by, u will come to feel a discipline that is not forced, not cultivated, which arises spontaneously, arises naturally like a flower blooms. Then u will have the whole of life available, and u will have ur whole being available. And when ur whole being and the whole life meet, between the two arises that which is freedom. Between the two arises that which is nirvana.
Soul
One thing about me is authenticity. I be myself even if I get judged, even if I feel hurt that I receive bad opinion.
What is unconscious, I don't know. But at least I know about following my passion and now following my own life's pace.
Conditioning - past projected into future
Nov 14
Such irony. I always said that I don't want to learn new things. And here, I am learning day by day about myself, people around me and the Universe.
I am a true seeker, the ultimate learner. Perhaps, I said I didn't want to learn other things because I am already a learner, by virtue on me being a seeker.
Evening
Did 2 articles.
Diamond Heart
Eventually, we were taught how to react to these concepts; what we could and could not touch, what to value, what to desire and what to reject; we even learned what to be happy and sad about - we then called these reactions our "preferences".
It then condition how we view ourselves and our world, how we think and how we respond to what happens around us. They create our everyday reality and we use them to interpret all our experience.
Concept begin as fluid and flexible, but become more fixed as we mature. When we are first learning a concept, such as 'space' or 'awareness', we are most receptive to nuances around it; we may play with it for a while, question it and explore its possibilities. Once we feel we 'know' it, we tend to lose interest.
Our willingness to re-examine, discard or expand the scope of the concept decreases; the word is no longer alive, no longer subject to modification in light of new knowledge, but frozen into an item of information that we possess. We rely on it automatically in our thinking, which becomes a matter of recollection, than a creative active.
Soul
Very precise description of conditioning.
Diamond Heart
Thinking itself is not necessarily uncreative. But thinking is uncreative when it is a matter of recollecting concepts from the past, or a matter of logically stringing together concepts, like a computer. It does not invent anything new. When we live and know through our established concepts, we don't have anything new in our lives. We use our words to relate thing about the past, to relate old concepts and memories. So, our expression, our thinking, is dead.
Soul
Suddenly tot no wonder GM is so fixed. At least CEO is more open. Tot of me, I can also be fixed.
Diamond Heart
Thinking can be creative when we allow ourselves to be open to what is beyond concepts. Then even words, even thinking can express that reality, can creatively unfold like a fountain of insights coming from explosive perceptions of non-conceptual reality. Thinking can be spontaneous, original and creative when it directly expresses the experience of the moment. This is true communication.
Soul
Tot of me. My perception in my articles arise from my experience of the moment.
Diamond Heart - projections
We never, or rarely, allow ourselves simply to perceive. We simply project a past situation into future
Such irony. I always said that I don't want to learn new things. And here, I am learning day by day about myself, people around me and the Universe.
I am a true seeker, the ultimate learner. Perhaps, I said I didn't want to learn other things because I am already a learner, by virtue on me being a seeker.
Evening
Did 2 articles.
Diamond Heart
Eventually, we were taught how to react to these concepts; what we could and could not touch, what to value, what to desire and what to reject; we even learned what to be happy and sad about - we then called these reactions our "preferences".
It then condition how we view ourselves and our world, how we think and how we respond to what happens around us. They create our everyday reality and we use them to interpret all our experience.
Concept begin as fluid and flexible, but become more fixed as we mature. When we are first learning a concept, such as 'space' or 'awareness', we are most receptive to nuances around it; we may play with it for a while, question it and explore its possibilities. Once we feel we 'know' it, we tend to lose interest.
Our willingness to re-examine, discard or expand the scope of the concept decreases; the word is no longer alive, no longer subject to modification in light of new knowledge, but frozen into an item of information that we possess. We rely on it automatically in our thinking, which becomes a matter of recollection, than a creative active.
Soul
Very precise description of conditioning.
Diamond Heart
Thinking itself is not necessarily uncreative. But thinking is uncreative when it is a matter of recollecting concepts from the past, or a matter of logically stringing together concepts, like a computer. It does not invent anything new. When we live and know through our established concepts, we don't have anything new in our lives. We use our words to relate thing about the past, to relate old concepts and memories. So, our expression, our thinking, is dead.
Soul
Suddenly tot no wonder GM is so fixed. At least CEO is more open. Tot of me, I can also be fixed.
Diamond Heart
Thinking can be creative when we allow ourselves to be open to what is beyond concepts. Then even words, even thinking can express that reality, can creatively unfold like a fountain of insights coming from explosive perceptions of non-conceptual reality. Thinking can be spontaneous, original and creative when it directly expresses the experience of the moment. This is true communication.
Soul
Tot of me. My perception in my articles arise from my experience of the moment.
Diamond Heart - projections
We never, or rarely, allow ourselves simply to perceive. We simply project a past situation into future
Relationships is a mixture of good and bad (5)
Nov 12 Aft
Father, GM really don't know how to nego a closer. I saw this last year, but she excused herself by saying she is not playing the closer role. And today again, she did not know how to bring it to a close stage when facing confrontation.
Anyway, these days, m no longer uneasy about confrontation at office.
Osho
Be loving and remember that anything real is always changing. Love is authentic only when it gives freedom, and does not interfere in the privacy of the other person. You have been giving wrong notions that a true love remains forever. A true flower does not remain forever. Existence is a constant change.
Soul
Suddenly tot the notion of uncertainty.
Today have a good day. Then receive mail on request for usb stick. In almost all companies, it is not given. And here GM wants to give and said its small matter and should be given. Anyway, I told her nope. So, again, let me not predict my day.
Osho
Act, don't react. Don't be a plaything in the hands of others.
You cannot predict a person who acts out of no-mind. Only mind is predictable.
We react because of our conditioning.
Don't try to become anything.
Father, GM really don't know how to nego a closer. I saw this last year, but she excused herself by saying she is not playing the closer role. And today again, she did not know how to bring it to a close stage when facing confrontation.
Anyway, these days, m no longer uneasy about confrontation at office.
Osho
Be loving and remember that anything real is always changing. Love is authentic only when it gives freedom, and does not interfere in the privacy of the other person. You have been giving wrong notions that a true love remains forever. A true flower does not remain forever. Existence is a constant change.
Soul
Suddenly tot the notion of uncertainty.
Today have a good day. Then receive mail on request for usb stick. In almost all companies, it is not given. And here GM wants to give and said its small matter and should be given. Anyway, I told her nope. So, again, let me not predict my day.
Osho
Act, don't react. Don't be a plaything in the hands of others.
You cannot predict a person who acts out of no-mind. Only mind is predictable.
We react because of our conditioning.
Don't try to become anything.
Human is born as a potential (2)
Nov 12
Father, did suria namaskara. Couldn't get into breathing meditation. Shambavi was fine. These days fast breathing and locking is good.
Osho - Camel/Lion/Child
Lion - sometimes miserable and sometimes pleasant, sometimes painful and sometimes pleasurable.
Camel - is like a parrot, just memories and nothing else. Lives in the magic of believing. It works. It can work miracles, but the camel remains a camel, the growth is missing.
In the first stage, everybody has to be a camel, a yes-saying, believing whatsoever is given, assimilating, digesting, but this is beginning and not the end. And u becomes a perfect camel. The first state is given by society. Camels lives in the past
The second stage, as a lion, u have to become on ur own - remember it. If u don't decide to be a lion, u will never be one. By becoming a lion, there is a risk as u will annoy all the camels around u, as camels are peace-loving and ready to compromise. Camels don't want to be disturbed, don't want any new thing to happen in the world. The second state has to be attained by the individual. In attaining it, u become an individual, u become unique. This state is against authority, against everything. Lion heralds the future, and the future can come only if the past is destroyed. Disbelief is his characteristic, doubt is his characteristic.
Camel is non-egoistic.
Lion is egoistic.
Lions live their life, they do their thing. They don't care a bit about others. Let others go to hell. They are no more part of any structure, they become free from the structures. The movement, the lion's roar, is bound to be egoistic. They need a great ego to go into this.
In the East, u will find more camels. In the West, u will find more lions. That's why in the East, to surrender seems so easy as they don't know how to say no. For the Western's mind, surrender seem difficult and it is costly. Only a few courageous people can afford it. That's why when the Western mind surrender, there is great transformation.
When the lion surrender, he becomes a child. When a camel surrender, he remains a camel.
Soul
Exactly what I said about Bitches with high energy. High ego is required to go into Inner Journey as it takes energy and courage. Now I know why its so difficult for me and CEO to surrender. I also mentioned that CEO is my best student and she took responsibility and act for her personal growth.
Osho
It is a paradox. But each individual has to be taught the ego before he will be able to drop it. Each individual has to come to a very crystalised ego, only then is the dropping of any help, otherwise not.
The first state, of the camel is unconscious.
The second state, of the lion is subconscious. It is a little higher than unconscious as few glimpses of the conscious has started coming in.
The change from camel to lion is not very great, unlike lion to child. The difference between the camel and lion is big, but both exist on the same plane. Movement is born, but the plane is the same.
You being a camel is a gift of the society. You being a lion will be the gift u give urself. Unless u love urself, u will not be able to do it. Unless u want to become an individual, unique in ur own right, unless u take the risk of going against the current, u will not be able to become a lion.
The majority is stuck at the camel stage, the minority is stuck at the lion stage. The majority means the masses, and the minority means the intelligensia (poet, artist, painter, musician, thinker, philosopher, revolutionary).
The third stage (child) is possible only if the catterpillar comes close to a butterfly, otherwise it is not possible.
From the camel to lion is an evolution. From the lion to the child is a revolution.
The society can make u a camel. U urself can make urself a lion, but u will need a master to make urself a child.
The camel, was dependence;
The lion, was independence;
The child, was interdependence and creativity.
Interdependence means neither is there dependence nor independence. Existence is interdependent - all are dependent on each other. It is all one. The sense of the whole is born; no I, no thou, no fixation with yes or no, no obsession either to say yes always or to say no always, more fluidity, more spontaneity, neither obedience nor disobedience, but spontaneity. Responsibility is born. One responds to existence, does not react out of the past, and does not react out of the future.
The camel lives in the past;
The lion lives in the future;
The child lives in the present, here-now.
The camel is pre-mind (pre-self), the lion is mind (self), the child is post-mind (post-self).
The child is a state of no-mind.
The camel has memories
The lion has knowledgeability
The child has wisdom.
The camel is either Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddihst, theist
The lion is atheist
The child is religious, neither theist or atheist, neither Christian, Hindu, Muslim nor Buddihst, just a simple religiousness, the quality of love and innocence.
Soul
I have been asking why am stuck. Why no progress? Alas, I have my answer. I think m now at a crossroad between lion and child. Perhaps samyama may be the key. But I still practise it reluctantly and infact time myself so to do not more than half an hour. Breathing meditation also inconsistent. Sometimes delightful, sometimes torturous. Perhaps this is the lion state, sometimes pleasurable, sometines miserable.
The saving grace is I have found my Master and has been given a tool. So use it!
Father, thanks for this clarification. I now don't judge myself for being stuck in lion state since is common state. As for the child, it comes, it comes. If not, I am a lion. So be it as I am not able to surrender fully, am not willing to pay the price.
Father, did suria namaskara. Couldn't get into breathing meditation. Shambavi was fine. These days fast breathing and locking is good.
Osho - Camel/Lion/Child
Lion - sometimes miserable and sometimes pleasant, sometimes painful and sometimes pleasurable.
Camel - is like a parrot, just memories and nothing else. Lives in the magic of believing. It works. It can work miracles, but the camel remains a camel, the growth is missing.
In the first stage, everybody has to be a camel, a yes-saying, believing whatsoever is given, assimilating, digesting, but this is beginning and not the end. And u becomes a perfect camel. The first state is given by society. Camels lives in the past
The second stage, as a lion, u have to become on ur own - remember it. If u don't decide to be a lion, u will never be one. By becoming a lion, there is a risk as u will annoy all the camels around u, as camels are peace-loving and ready to compromise. Camels don't want to be disturbed, don't want any new thing to happen in the world. The second state has to be attained by the individual. In attaining it, u become an individual, u become unique. This state is against authority, against everything. Lion heralds the future, and the future can come only if the past is destroyed. Disbelief is his characteristic, doubt is his characteristic.
Camel is non-egoistic.
Lion is egoistic.
Lions live their life, they do their thing. They don't care a bit about others. Let others go to hell. They are no more part of any structure, they become free from the structures. The movement, the lion's roar, is bound to be egoistic. They need a great ego to go into this.
In the East, u will find more camels. In the West, u will find more lions. That's why in the East, to surrender seems so easy as they don't know how to say no. For the Western's mind, surrender seem difficult and it is costly. Only a few courageous people can afford it. That's why when the Western mind surrender, there is great transformation.
When the lion surrender, he becomes a child. When a camel surrender, he remains a camel.
Soul
Exactly what I said about Bitches with high energy. High ego is required to go into Inner Journey as it takes energy and courage. Now I know why its so difficult for me and CEO to surrender. I also mentioned that CEO is my best student and she took responsibility and act for her personal growth.
Osho
It is a paradox. But each individual has to be taught the ego before he will be able to drop it. Each individual has to come to a very crystalised ego, only then is the dropping of any help, otherwise not.
The first state, of the camel is unconscious.
The second state, of the lion is subconscious. It is a little higher than unconscious as few glimpses of the conscious has started coming in.
The change from camel to lion is not very great, unlike lion to child. The difference between the camel and lion is big, but both exist on the same plane. Movement is born, but the plane is the same.
You being a camel is a gift of the society. You being a lion will be the gift u give urself. Unless u love urself, u will not be able to do it. Unless u want to become an individual, unique in ur own right, unless u take the risk of going against the current, u will not be able to become a lion.
The majority is stuck at the camel stage, the minority is stuck at the lion stage. The majority means the masses, and the minority means the intelligensia (poet, artist, painter, musician, thinker, philosopher, revolutionary).
The third stage (child) is possible only if the catterpillar comes close to a butterfly, otherwise it is not possible.
From the camel to lion is an evolution. From the lion to the child is a revolution.
The society can make u a camel. U urself can make urself a lion, but u will need a master to make urself a child.
The camel, was dependence;
The lion, was independence;
The child, was interdependence and creativity.
Interdependence means neither is there dependence nor independence. Existence is interdependent - all are dependent on each other. It is all one. The sense of the whole is born; no I, no thou, no fixation with yes or no, no obsession either to say yes always or to say no always, more fluidity, more spontaneity, neither obedience nor disobedience, but spontaneity. Responsibility is born. One responds to existence, does not react out of the past, and does not react out of the future.
The camel lives in the past;
The lion lives in the future;
The child lives in the present, here-now.
The camel is pre-mind (pre-self), the lion is mind (self), the child is post-mind (post-self).
The child is a state of no-mind.
The camel has memories
The lion has knowledgeability
The child has wisdom.
The camel is either Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddihst, theist
The lion is atheist
The child is religious, neither theist or atheist, neither Christian, Hindu, Muslim nor Buddihst, just a simple religiousness, the quality of love and innocence.
Soul
I have been asking why am stuck. Why no progress? Alas, I have my answer. I think m now at a crossroad between lion and child. Perhaps samyama may be the key. But I still practise it reluctantly and infact time myself so to do not more than half an hour. Breathing meditation also inconsistent. Sometimes delightful, sometimes torturous. Perhaps this is the lion state, sometimes pleasurable, sometines miserable.
The saving grace is I have found my Master and has been given a tool. So use it!
Father, thanks for this clarification. I now don't judge myself for being stuck in lion state since is common state. As for the child, it comes, it comes. If not, I am a lion. So be it as I am not able to surrender fully, am not willing to pay the price.
Human is born as a potential
Nov 11
Father, yesterday I was exhausted. While driving, was feeling sleepy. Reach home, took a shower, getting ready for meditation, but couldn't do it. I just want to lie down and doze a bit. I slept and woke up 2 hours later. I then decide to sleep through the night. This is a first time, guess body is unwell due to cold. Anyway, at least I know m recovering as there is less phlegm.
This morning asanas, not so good. Breathing was delightful and shambavi fine too. Left wrist is swelling and right elbow in pain cos was on notebook whole day yday. Should learn to keep track of movement.
Yday GM reached out to me as she is feeling being attacked again. I told her its CEO's insecurities of letting go, coupled with no pep talk from her boss. I will ask CEO to back off and remember her role as a coach. And I would also says a Coach motivates and not threaten to get performance. If this is her reaction, its correct of GM never to lift herself up.
Father, part of me want out. Who knows, happy problem as both comes to me. As for A, he is part of the Senior Team, he thinks he is one of them and they definitely treat him that way. And I guess his stint as GM reinforces the mode. So, it is just me who doesn't treat him as Senior.
Osho
Freedom means understanding. One has understood the game of the world, and seeing that this is the way that the soul is prevented from growing, the way one is not allowed to be oneself, one simply go out of it with no scar on the soul.
One forgives, and forgets and remains without any clinging to the society in the name of love or in the name of hate. Society simply disappeared for the rebel. He may live in the world or he may go out of the world, but he belongs to it no more, he is an outsider.
Camel, Lion and Child
Man is not born perfect. He is born incomplete. He is born as a process. He is born on the way, as a pilgrim. Man is born as a potential.
That is his agony and his ecstasy - agony because he cannot rest, he has to go ahead, he has always to go ahead. He has to seek, search and explore, he has to become, because his being arises only through becoming. Becoming is his being. He can only be if he is on the move.
Evolution is intrinsic to man's nature, evolution is his very soul. And those who take themselves for granted remain unfulfilled; those who think they are born complete remain unevolved. Then the seed remains the seed, never becomes a tree and never know the joy of spring and the sunshine and the rain and the ecstasy of bursting into million of flowers.
Truth is realised through three states;
1. Assimilation / Camel
-storing up great knowledge of sages so that u stand at a higher peak; digestion of the past; u can use it, but it can't use u
2. Independence / Lion
- freedom from authority, from his past; discover his own inner light; aware of its primary obligation to his inmost hidden potential.
But he is still afraid somehow of the camel, fearful that it may come back.
Only when the fear of the camel is completely gone, the roaring of the lion stops. Then the song of the child is born.
3. Creativity / Child
- freedom to create
Soul
My resolution card for the week. I have got this car before, somehow didn't quite understand. And now here in full fledge.
Father, yeap, I am a lion, who is still afraid of the camel. Afraid of past fears. That's why cannot jump.
Father, yesterday I was exhausted. While driving, was feeling sleepy. Reach home, took a shower, getting ready for meditation, but couldn't do it. I just want to lie down and doze a bit. I slept and woke up 2 hours later. I then decide to sleep through the night. This is a first time, guess body is unwell due to cold. Anyway, at least I know m recovering as there is less phlegm.
This morning asanas, not so good. Breathing was delightful and shambavi fine too. Left wrist is swelling and right elbow in pain cos was on notebook whole day yday. Should learn to keep track of movement.
Yday GM reached out to me as she is feeling being attacked again. I told her its CEO's insecurities of letting go, coupled with no pep talk from her boss. I will ask CEO to back off and remember her role as a coach. And I would also says a Coach motivates and not threaten to get performance. If this is her reaction, its correct of GM never to lift herself up.
Father, part of me want out. Who knows, happy problem as both comes to me. As for A, he is part of the Senior Team, he thinks he is one of them and they definitely treat him that way. And I guess his stint as GM reinforces the mode. So, it is just me who doesn't treat him as Senior.
Osho
Freedom means understanding. One has understood the game of the world, and seeing that this is the way that the soul is prevented from growing, the way one is not allowed to be oneself, one simply go out of it with no scar on the soul.
One forgives, and forgets and remains without any clinging to the society in the name of love or in the name of hate. Society simply disappeared for the rebel. He may live in the world or he may go out of the world, but he belongs to it no more, he is an outsider.
Camel, Lion and Child
Man is not born perfect. He is born incomplete. He is born as a process. He is born on the way, as a pilgrim. Man is born as a potential.
That is his agony and his ecstasy - agony because he cannot rest, he has to go ahead, he has always to go ahead. He has to seek, search and explore, he has to become, because his being arises only through becoming. Becoming is his being. He can only be if he is on the move.
Evolution is intrinsic to man's nature, evolution is his very soul. And those who take themselves for granted remain unfulfilled; those who think they are born complete remain unevolved. Then the seed remains the seed, never becomes a tree and never know the joy of spring and the sunshine and the rain and the ecstasy of bursting into million of flowers.
Truth is realised through three states;
1. Assimilation / Camel
-storing up great knowledge of sages so that u stand at a higher peak; digestion of the past; u can use it, but it can't use u
2. Independence / Lion
- freedom from authority, from his past; discover his own inner light; aware of its primary obligation to his inmost hidden potential.
But he is still afraid somehow of the camel, fearful that it may come back.
Only when the fear of the camel is completely gone, the roaring of the lion stops. Then the song of the child is born.
3. Creativity / Child
- freedom to create
Soul
My resolution card for the week. I have got this car before, somehow didn't quite understand. And now here in full fledge.
Father, yeap, I am a lion, who is still afraid of the camel. Afraid of past fears. That's why cannot jump.
Relationship improved with boss
Nov 10
Father, today woke up feeling groggy cos I think didn't sleep well due to blocked nose. Couldn't sing guru pooja cos throat was too dry. Did suria namaskara. Up to 8 cycles, suddenly felt like vomitting cos coughing too much. First tot to stop, but I preservere and finished 12 cycles. Breathing meditation was good, just feel at ease. Shambavi was fine
.
Yday shared with CEO on my 'happy problem'. The mgm team felt threaten cos now they lost their hold on CEO, with her asking my input for almost everything. She told me not to worry, which is good. I shared about the toilet issue and she agreed with my call and infact said I should just told them to shut up. I told her perhaps she should ease up getting me into all meetings. She told me she valued my input and wants to be doubly sure things before making decision. She said she will continue with this mode. Of course, she reminded me that we wanted Commercial Director and not Finance Director, so I should continue to play my business role. Looks like things will be status quo. Well, at least is off my chest.
Father, today woke up feeling groggy cos I think didn't sleep well due to blocked nose. Couldn't sing guru pooja cos throat was too dry. Did suria namaskara. Up to 8 cycles, suddenly felt like vomitting cos coughing too much. First tot to stop, but I preservere and finished 12 cycles. Breathing meditation was good, just feel at ease. Shambavi was fine
.
Yday shared with CEO on my 'happy problem'. The mgm team felt threaten cos now they lost their hold on CEO, with her asking my input for almost everything. She told me not to worry, which is good. I shared about the toilet issue and she agreed with my call and infact said I should just told them to shut up. I told her perhaps she should ease up getting me into all meetings. She told me she valued my input and wants to be doubly sure things before making decision. She said she will continue with this mode. Of course, she reminded me that we wanted Commercial Director and not Finance Director, so I should continue to play my business role. Looks like things will be status quo. Well, at least is off my chest.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Letting go of compulsive defenses
Nov 9
This morning woke up tot of A.
I have hurt his feeling. Always relegating him to others cos I now have a capable. He took it personally. But of cos, I also look down on him. He tried his best to establish rship with me and I shot it down. Partly cos I knew his style and partly cos I am now confident of my power.
Anyway, in a nutshell, it is caused by me. Can I ratify it? Yes.
This morning, woke up at 4 am. Tot, do I have to wake up so early, is this my life??. Answer came, nothing is certain. Yea, who knows, I may not have to work and need only to wake up 6.30 am.
My left hand is fine and only right elbow remain stiff. Did my asanas. Breathing meditation is delightful. I just wan to stay there. Of cos, best with chair. Shambavi was fine. Towards the end, seem to want to sleep. Finished by 6.46 am.
Mmm, tot of R. Why didn't reply email.
Osho
1. Issue
Letting go
The innocence person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no interested in being higher, who is no longer interested in performing, in proving himself.
To choose this card, something is finished. It is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold it. Something greater is awaiting u, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now and gravity is doing its work. Go with it
Soul
Yday incident of 'attack' by A and then reprimand by CEO. First tot is to defend, but I hold myself back, cos I don't want to go into the fray. I noted the attack cos they wan me to feel as down as they have. It is natural. Also, I reminded myself I wanted to be a famous published author. With that, I try to cheer myself with a good lunch. First tot was d pastry cafe, but then tot of difficult parking and opted for noodle restaurant. When I drove, I turn into the pastry cafe, so just proceed. Little did I know that I met my counterpart in food. And she is a baker with a visual website and me a writer with a word website. So, we complement and can help each other. Hurray.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
The Source.
Within us is a pure energy, pulsaring and ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So, whether u r beginning something new and need inspiration right now or you have just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source.
Soul
Yeap. Samyama meditation is good and Breathing meditation is delightful.
3. External influence of which u r aware
Experiencing.
Experiencing is the feeling of wonder itself, the thrill of communion, the gentle touch of connectedness with all that surrounds us.
Nature doesn't bang any drums when it burst forth into flowers, nor play any dinges when the trees let go of their leaves in the fall.
When we approach nature in the right spirit, she has many secret to share.
Soul
Yea, now this law of uncertainty is keeping me occupiled and yet liberates me cos it freed me from my certain sets of belief I set upon myself.
Second msg is also telling me that even if I am flowering, there is no thunder drum. Perhaps me not wanting to play office politic is another flowering sign.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Exhaustion
This is a potrait of one whose whole life energy depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance and productivity. Is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors.
Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. Its time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory and take a little trip into the unchartered. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Soul
True, I have always managed my life.
Not sure if I m being spontaneous but at least the Uncertainty possibility is in my mind.
5. Resolution
Rebirth.
Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come nor do u go. Things come and go.
First, u r a camel, and then u become a lion and alas the Child.
The child - neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.
This morning woke up tot of A.
I have hurt his feeling. Always relegating him to others cos I now have a capable. He took it personally. But of cos, I also look down on him. He tried his best to establish rship with me and I shot it down. Partly cos I knew his style and partly cos I am now confident of my power.
Anyway, in a nutshell, it is caused by me. Can I ratify it? Yes.
This morning, woke up at 4 am. Tot, do I have to wake up so early, is this my life??. Answer came, nothing is certain. Yea, who knows, I may not have to work and need only to wake up 6.30 am.
My left hand is fine and only right elbow remain stiff. Did my asanas. Breathing meditation is delightful. I just wan to stay there. Of cos, best with chair. Shambavi was fine. Towards the end, seem to want to sleep. Finished by 6.46 am.
Mmm, tot of R. Why didn't reply email.
Osho
1. Issue
Letting go
The innocence person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no interested in being higher, who is no longer interested in performing, in proving himself.
To choose this card, something is finished. It is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold it. Something greater is awaiting u, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now and gravity is doing its work. Go with it
Soul
Yday incident of 'attack' by A and then reprimand by CEO. First tot is to defend, but I hold myself back, cos I don't want to go into the fray. I noted the attack cos they wan me to feel as down as they have. It is natural. Also, I reminded myself I wanted to be a famous published author. With that, I try to cheer myself with a good lunch. First tot was d pastry cafe, but then tot of difficult parking and opted for noodle restaurant. When I drove, I turn into the pastry cafe, so just proceed. Little did I know that I met my counterpart in food. And she is a baker with a visual website and me a writer with a word website. So, we complement and can help each other. Hurray.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
The Source.
Within us is a pure energy, pulsaring and ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So, whether u r beginning something new and need inspiration right now or you have just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source.
Soul
Yeap. Samyama meditation is good and Breathing meditation is delightful.
3. External influence of which u r aware
Experiencing.
Experiencing is the feeling of wonder itself, the thrill of communion, the gentle touch of connectedness with all that surrounds us.
Nature doesn't bang any drums when it burst forth into flowers, nor play any dinges when the trees let go of their leaves in the fall.
When we approach nature in the right spirit, she has many secret to share.
Soul
Yea, now this law of uncertainty is keeping me occupiled and yet liberates me cos it freed me from my certain sets of belief I set upon myself.
Second msg is also telling me that even if I am flowering, there is no thunder drum. Perhaps me not wanting to play office politic is another flowering sign.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Exhaustion
This is a potrait of one whose whole life energy depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance and productivity. Is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors.
Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. Its time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory and take a little trip into the unchartered. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Soul
True, I have always managed my life.
Not sure if I m being spontaneous but at least the Uncertainty possibility is in my mind.
5. Resolution
Rebirth.
Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come nor do u go. Things come and go.
First, u r a camel, and then u become a lion and alas the Child.
The child - neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.
Uncertainty is the law; Certainty is our illusion
Nov 8 Aft
Father, mmm, the incident with A still not resolved. Guess, he got GM's approval. Didn't read her mail whereby she said its totally unfair. No wonder he proceed ahead. My fault there.
At first got scolded by CEO and when she saw that I didn't relent. She stop and asked for facts and then she speak to A directly as she too cannot understand A's issue.
She spoke to him and now story has changed that he is not happy with me per se, in term of my communication. Since I was in such a good mood, I was willing to concede that I didn't communicate fully as I didn't have all the facts then. But key word is, he is a Senior. Father, no wish to play drama with them. At first tot its sad I have to lose this job becos of such dramas. But now tot, if its meant to be, this will be the push factor required. Who knows.
Anyway, third tot, no need drama lah. Life goes on.
At first tot of GM is behind this and so on, but now tot perhaps its true but at least kind enough to issue the mail after holiday break.
Father, don't know lah. Hei, its all mental. I don't know the facts. Fact is A is skewed and not happy and GM agrees with him, so got support. Fact is since they can't get thru me directly, they ask CEO to step in. At least, its frontal and not backward attack. Fact is I m fine with my decision and I can take responsibility.
This morning, got my freelance proof reader and within my price range. Its great.
Then met a food enthusiast who loves bakery. Here, me, a foodie who finally know my favourite is dessert. We both love the cafe. She told me that she has raved about the cafe, but no one seem to share her enthusiasm. She is glad to meet me. We also found we both a website, she is into visual and me into words. I told her we can help each other out. Father, it was just last week when I received the base website. I didn't like it, so bland. What to put inside to make it attractive. I wonder who can help me. I know I cannot rely on V cos he is bz. And U now grant my wishes. The Angel of Efficiency is working great.
Father, we never even know how one day can turn out. Things doesn't turn out the way we tot it would be. So, things are not certain - perhaps this is the law of nature. But why we then we think we should be certain of future when we cannot even be certain of one day. Why we get work up.
Suddenly tot of this excerpt:
Embrace Life
The heroes don't scale down their dreams to the size of their fears. They are the masters of dance between uncertainty and certainty.
When we realise that uncertainty is our natural human state, life becomes even more awesome.
Soul
That's it. We have things reversed. We assumed things are certain, when in reality it is not. Then we get work up when it is not certain. Aiyoh. Another great article here.
I recalled once I tot I would run out of insights to share. Well, I will be exposed to experience that enable me to write whatever that Father wants me to share.
If uncertainty is our natural state. And nothing is carved in stone, then nothing in the past need to be repeated and prolonged. The karma trail can be broken too. Amen
Father, mmm, the incident with A still not resolved. Guess, he got GM's approval. Didn't read her mail whereby she said its totally unfair. No wonder he proceed ahead. My fault there.
At first got scolded by CEO and when she saw that I didn't relent. She stop and asked for facts and then she speak to A directly as she too cannot understand A's issue.
She spoke to him and now story has changed that he is not happy with me per se, in term of my communication. Since I was in such a good mood, I was willing to concede that I didn't communicate fully as I didn't have all the facts then. But key word is, he is a Senior. Father, no wish to play drama with them. At first tot its sad I have to lose this job becos of such dramas. But now tot, if its meant to be, this will be the push factor required. Who knows.
Anyway, third tot, no need drama lah. Life goes on.
At first tot of GM is behind this and so on, but now tot perhaps its true but at least kind enough to issue the mail after holiday break.
Father, don't know lah. Hei, its all mental. I don't know the facts. Fact is A is skewed and not happy and GM agrees with him, so got support. Fact is since they can't get thru me directly, they ask CEO to step in. At least, its frontal and not backward attack. Fact is I m fine with my decision and I can take responsibility.
This morning, got my freelance proof reader and within my price range. Its great.
Then met a food enthusiast who loves bakery. Here, me, a foodie who finally know my favourite is dessert. We both love the cafe. She told me that she has raved about the cafe, but no one seem to share her enthusiasm. She is glad to meet me. We also found we both a website, she is into visual and me into words. I told her we can help each other out. Father, it was just last week when I received the base website. I didn't like it, so bland. What to put inside to make it attractive. I wonder who can help me. I know I cannot rely on V cos he is bz. And U now grant my wishes. The Angel of Efficiency is working great.
Father, we never even know how one day can turn out. Things doesn't turn out the way we tot it would be. So, things are not certain - perhaps this is the law of nature. But why we then we think we should be certain of future when we cannot even be certain of one day. Why we get work up.
Suddenly tot of this excerpt:
Embrace Life
The heroes don't scale down their dreams to the size of their fears. They are the masters of dance between uncertainty and certainty.
When we realise that uncertainty is our natural human state, life becomes even more awesome.
Soul
That's it. We have things reversed. We assumed things are certain, when in reality it is not. Then we get work up when it is not certain. Aiyoh. Another great article here.
I recalled once I tot I would run out of insights to share. Well, I will be exposed to experience that enable me to write whatever that Father wants me to share.
If uncertainty is our natural state. And nothing is carved in stone, then nothing in the past need to be repeated and prolonged. The karma trail can be broken too. Amen
Guidance is always there for me (6)
Nov 8
Father, I have a good break and did samyama during weekend too. I like my family. This morning did my suria. First 3 cycle, I couldn't stretch out and tot I do asanas instead. But I preservere and did the whole 12 cycles and by 5th cycle I was stretching out.
Breathing meditation, can't even go in. Its now like pre-Tamil teacher. Or slightly better. Guess this comparison with samyama is not right.
Also for the first time, I didn't go for morning walk cos I felt bit unwell. Regretted it. In future, won't skip cos its not worth it, the saving of 1 hour of walking can effect my whole day.
On the website and blog. Last weekend I took a break. Father, why am I not feeling up. I have a great week despite feeling unwell. Why no energy for website? Well, guess, I just wanted a break from the spiritual aspect. Again, not sure of the takeout. Only good thing is I finally got samyama practices right.
Osho
Every intelligent human being has to face; we are rooted in the earth and we want wings to fly in the sky. We cannot be uprooted because the earth is our nourishment, our food. And yet we cannot stop dreaming of wings, because that is our spirit, that is our very soul, that is what makes us human.
Men is intrinsically discontented; hence, the feeling of shame - because he knows, " I can be free"
Soul
Guess this is the dilemma I am facing.
Osho
Your power, ur riches, ur prestige - all of ur cages. Your soul wants to be free, but freedom is dangerous, freedom has no insurance. Freedom has no security, no safety.
Freedom is walking on the edge of a razor - every moment in danger, fighting ur way. Every moment is a challenge from the unknown. Nobody is there to take care of u.
Freedom means tremendous responsibility; u r on ur own and alone.
Freedom is not a question of hope; it is a question of taking a risk.
Such are the schizophrenia of man, the split personality of man. His house is divided against itself; hence, he cannot find peace.
Soul
True.
Father, I have a good break and did samyama during weekend too. I like my family. This morning did my suria. First 3 cycle, I couldn't stretch out and tot I do asanas instead. But I preservere and did the whole 12 cycles and by 5th cycle I was stretching out.
Breathing meditation, can't even go in. Its now like pre-Tamil teacher. Or slightly better. Guess this comparison with samyama is not right.
Also for the first time, I didn't go for morning walk cos I felt bit unwell. Regretted it. In future, won't skip cos its not worth it, the saving of 1 hour of walking can effect my whole day.
On the website and blog. Last weekend I took a break. Father, why am I not feeling up. I have a great week despite feeling unwell. Why no energy for website? Well, guess, I just wanted a break from the spiritual aspect. Again, not sure of the takeout. Only good thing is I finally got samyama practices right.
Osho
Every intelligent human being has to face; we are rooted in the earth and we want wings to fly in the sky. We cannot be uprooted because the earth is our nourishment, our food. And yet we cannot stop dreaming of wings, because that is our spirit, that is our very soul, that is what makes us human.
Men is intrinsically discontented; hence, the feeling of shame - because he knows, " I can be free"
Soul
Guess this is the dilemma I am facing.
Osho
Your power, ur riches, ur prestige - all of ur cages. Your soul wants to be free, but freedom is dangerous, freedom has no insurance. Freedom has no security, no safety.
Freedom is walking on the edge of a razor - every moment in danger, fighting ur way. Every moment is a challenge from the unknown. Nobody is there to take care of u.
Freedom means tremendous responsibility; u r on ur own and alone.
Freedom is not a question of hope; it is a question of taking a risk.
Such are the schizophrenia of man, the split personality of man. His house is divided against itself; hence, he cannot find peace.
Soul
True.
Guidance is always there for me (5)
Nov 4
Embrace Life (Rabbi Irwin)
The heroes don't scale down their dreams to the size of their fears. They are the masters of dance between uncertainty and certainty.
When we realise that uncertainty is our natural human state, life becomes even more awesome.
Soul
I am facing uncertainty now. Have a great time in samyama, tot I came back feeling great and ready to go. It turn out, I fell sick and now taking rest. At first not sure of joyong website. But this morning got some insight to learn web. Mmm, which is exactly what my 7thunder year card says.
Results - Jack of Club (success using mental creativity)
You will achieve much more creativity and success in a mental field. This could mean success as a writer of some kind. In the process, u may be transformed by exposure to new forms of communication or information that advances ur thinking into the current age of advanced technology. Be prepared to move ahead into unexplored area of knowledge.
Embrace life
Our action are our legacy. Its what we do that counts. The degree of enlightenment can be measured by what we do.
Not doing 'wrong', is only counted if you wanted to do wrong but in the end deny yourself.
Freedom from - breaking free from those unconscious forces that compels us. When we achieved that, we attain positive freedom, "freedom to" do exactly what we know we are supposed to do. There are no longer barriers to being the kind of person we want to be.
It is only possible to fulfill a mitzvah if one experiences the full range of feelings and then run counter to it.
If you don't feel anything contrary to the comandment, then its like an inert chemical; it has no impact or meaning. How can we acknowledge "I should not" until we experience "I am tempted".
Soul
The same as my anology between an alcoholic and non-alcoholic.
Embrace Life
When we resist a commandment its often because we experience it as an external pressure. But the external pressure we feel is really our disguised desire. If we didn't have the desire to observe a commandment, we wouldn't feel anxious or pressured. We simply go on about our business.
Soul
No wonder I felt such anxiousness during BSP. I was worried I was called into going deeper into meditation. And in the end, I have went back to Ashram 3 times and now even doing samyama.
The same goes for me spreading truth to people and helping others along the way. I used to resist and tot God is unfair, seeking payment for giving me the power of insight. Now I realised its in me.
Embrace Life
We are free only when we break loose from the physical, emotional, intellectual and cultural forces that drive us without our knowing it.
Freedom From - freedom from unconscious forces that compels us (being Conscious)
Freedom To - Freedom to do what we know we are supposed to do.
(Dec 10 - This is exactly the same thing that I recently read in Osho - Freedom. Father, you are Great, always with me. Somehow, all the messages comes in to help me to commit to my Freedom To be a Writer!)
Soul
At least I now knew about my compulsive tot on relationship matters. I mentally created the rhsip in my mind. When it didn't materialise, I got disappointed and tot I have been rejected. Infact, advances didn't even happen. Or I could be thinking abt someone that I didn't even like. So, I now undo my belief about rejection.
Embrace Life
Discontinuity is vital to the success of continuity, for it allows ideas and societies to evolve and grow. Innovation begins with trangression.
Most of us lead conventional lives. We want to avoid the discomforts that arise from complications. But the full, creative life must be open to unpredictability.
Our drive to achieve and our inability to rest seem to get the best of us nevertheless.
The best of leaders tend to be simultaneously self-important and self sacrificing; that's, in part, what makes them great.
Creativity is more expansive than we imagined, and relaxation requires as much discipline and effort as work. Being is as important as doing.
When we confront our strangeness, we are less likely to project it on others. When we embrace our own lack of wholeness, our own complexities, we are less likely to be oppressors, even passively.
Soul
I accepted myself.
(Dec 10 - I can feel love for CEO)
Embrace Life (Rabbi Irwin)
The heroes don't scale down their dreams to the size of their fears. They are the masters of dance between uncertainty and certainty.
When we realise that uncertainty is our natural human state, life becomes even more awesome.
Soul
I am facing uncertainty now. Have a great time in samyama, tot I came back feeling great and ready to go. It turn out, I fell sick and now taking rest. At first not sure of joyong website. But this morning got some insight to learn web. Mmm, which is exactly what my 7thunder year card says.
Results - Jack of Club (success using mental creativity)
You will achieve much more creativity and success in a mental field. This could mean success as a writer of some kind. In the process, u may be transformed by exposure to new forms of communication or information that advances ur thinking into the current age of advanced technology. Be prepared to move ahead into unexplored area of knowledge.
Embrace life
Our action are our legacy. Its what we do that counts. The degree of enlightenment can be measured by what we do.
Not doing 'wrong', is only counted if you wanted to do wrong but in the end deny yourself.
Freedom from - breaking free from those unconscious forces that compels us. When we achieved that, we attain positive freedom, "freedom to" do exactly what we know we are supposed to do. There are no longer barriers to being the kind of person we want to be.
It is only possible to fulfill a mitzvah if one experiences the full range of feelings and then run counter to it.
If you don't feel anything contrary to the comandment, then its like an inert chemical; it has no impact or meaning. How can we acknowledge "I should not" until we experience "I am tempted".
Soul
The same as my anology between an alcoholic and non-alcoholic.
Embrace Life
When we resist a commandment its often because we experience it as an external pressure. But the external pressure we feel is really our disguised desire. If we didn't have the desire to observe a commandment, we wouldn't feel anxious or pressured. We simply go on about our business.
Soul
No wonder I felt such anxiousness during BSP. I was worried I was called into going deeper into meditation. And in the end, I have went back to Ashram 3 times and now even doing samyama.
The same goes for me spreading truth to people and helping others along the way. I used to resist and tot God is unfair, seeking payment for giving me the power of insight. Now I realised its in me.
Embrace Life
We are free only when we break loose from the physical, emotional, intellectual and cultural forces that drive us without our knowing it.
Freedom From - freedom from unconscious forces that compels us (being Conscious)
Freedom To - Freedom to do what we know we are supposed to do.
(Dec 10 - This is exactly the same thing that I recently read in Osho - Freedom. Father, you are Great, always with me. Somehow, all the messages comes in to help me to commit to my Freedom To be a Writer!)
Soul
At least I now knew about my compulsive tot on relationship matters. I mentally created the rhsip in my mind. When it didn't materialise, I got disappointed and tot I have been rejected. Infact, advances didn't even happen. Or I could be thinking abt someone that I didn't even like. So, I now undo my belief about rejection.
Embrace Life
Discontinuity is vital to the success of continuity, for it allows ideas and societies to evolve and grow. Innovation begins with trangression.
Most of us lead conventional lives. We want to avoid the discomforts that arise from complications. But the full, creative life must be open to unpredictability.
Our drive to achieve and our inability to rest seem to get the best of us nevertheless.
The best of leaders tend to be simultaneously self-important and self sacrificing; that's, in part, what makes them great.
Creativity is more expansive than we imagined, and relaxation requires as much discipline and effort as work. Being is as important as doing.
When we confront our strangeness, we are less likely to project it on others. When we embrace our own lack of wholeness, our own complexities, we are less likely to be oppressors, even passively.
Soul
I accepted myself.
(Dec 10 - I can feel love for CEO)
Awareness clearing compulsive tots
Nov 3
Father, today the left shoulder is still painful. I can't do the suria properly. I cried a bit, but then I picked myself up and improvise, finished 12 cycles.
Breathing meditation was not good cos was sneezing throughout due to cold. Then shambavi was fine, but I slept towards the end and dreamt about the 'unfairness' treatment by CEO on the client issue.
Just now slept about 20 min in the car, something that never happen before. Guess its due to the cold I m having. But I know I just need some rest and will recover. Tomorrow is holiday, so can have long weekend to rest.
My left hand is swelling, something that hasn't happen before. Why so many things at the same time. I was totally fine in Ashram. Wonder if this is to make me eat the medicine.
The mind was acting overtime over the management team cases. It seems as if they were ganging up on me. And I felt bit victimised cos I tot perhaps this has to do with me being CEO's favourite at the moment. But who know, wind of tides may change.
Then a tot came. There is no bad rship, its has both good and bad. I have worked with PD before and we do get along well. So, I want to have another perspective. Anyway, its all my defensiveness, I will address it. Small matter.
Osho
1. Issue
Consciousness.
Consciousness is available to all who become a master of the mind and can use it as the servant it is meant to be. There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. When u choose this card, it means that there is a crystal clarity available right now, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of ur being. Accept this gift and share it.
Soul
Yea, that's me now. I don't want to use my defensiveness. Just now saw PD's mail and I was able to reply calmly and be helpful. As for the other head's request, it was something that I asked for anyway.
Guess my defensiveness arise from 'admin' function that I don't like.
2. Internal Influence
Ordinariness
You are facing a time when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations u encounter will bring better results than any attempt on ur part to be brilliant or clever. Forget about dazzling ur colleagues.
This special gift u have to offer now is presented best just by taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
Guess just me be myself, accepting instead of being defensive cos taking things personally.
3. External
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen on its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. The essence of true friends, mature, easy with each other, natural. U r no longer interested in all kind of dramas and romances that other people engaged in. It it not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
Soul
Amen. Yea, previously I would be in the drama with them. But now, I just don't want to. I am ignoring my mind.
Even when I couldn't do suria. I improvise and just continue.
4. What is needed for resolution. New Vision
When u open up to the ultimate, immediately it pours into u. U r no longer an ordinary human being - u have transcended. Ur insight has become the insight of the whole existence. Now u r no longer separate - u have found ur roots.
U r presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and we come to know from experience that the dark and difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
Soul
Yday, I saw the various situations as attacking. Today I see them as just friendly. Except for AD case whereby it hit more on the 'rejection' mode and I don't mind being an unpopular person.
(Evening - once I changed my perception, everything ends well)
5. The Understanding
We are the World
Only in celebration do we meet the ultimate, the eternal. Only in celebration, do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
A time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole. It is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. We are linked together in the exquisite patter of eternal creation.
Nov 3 Even
Father, my left shoulder still stiff for 2nd day. I wish it to be healed so I can do proper suria namaskara.
Samyama meditation, followed by Shoonya and end with Shakti. The sequence seem ok, but I felt myself rushing at Shakti. Somehow Samyama has more pull. I can do it for half an hour. I guess since shoonya and breathe watching is easy for me, combined, samyama becomes easy too.
Father, why after samyama, the joints become more painful. Also, shakti is more sluggish than before the rest.
Forgiveness - who didn't I forgive. A tot came - me.
Father, today the left shoulder is still painful. I can't do the suria properly. I cried a bit, but then I picked myself up and improvise, finished 12 cycles.
Breathing meditation was not good cos was sneezing throughout due to cold. Then shambavi was fine, but I slept towards the end and dreamt about the 'unfairness' treatment by CEO on the client issue.
Just now slept about 20 min in the car, something that never happen before. Guess its due to the cold I m having. But I know I just need some rest and will recover. Tomorrow is holiday, so can have long weekend to rest.
My left hand is swelling, something that hasn't happen before. Why so many things at the same time. I was totally fine in Ashram. Wonder if this is to make me eat the medicine.
The mind was acting overtime over the management team cases. It seems as if they were ganging up on me. And I felt bit victimised cos I tot perhaps this has to do with me being CEO's favourite at the moment. But who know, wind of tides may change.
Then a tot came. There is no bad rship, its has both good and bad. I have worked with PD before and we do get along well. So, I want to have another perspective. Anyway, its all my defensiveness, I will address it. Small matter.
Osho
1. Issue
Consciousness.
Consciousness is available to all who become a master of the mind and can use it as the servant it is meant to be. There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. When u choose this card, it means that there is a crystal clarity available right now, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of ur being. Accept this gift and share it.
Soul
Yea, that's me now. I don't want to use my defensiveness. Just now saw PD's mail and I was able to reply calmly and be helpful. As for the other head's request, it was something that I asked for anyway.
Guess my defensiveness arise from 'admin' function that I don't like.
2. Internal Influence
Ordinariness
You are facing a time when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations u encounter will bring better results than any attempt on ur part to be brilliant or clever. Forget about dazzling ur colleagues.
This special gift u have to offer now is presented best just by taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
Guess just me be myself, accepting instead of being defensive cos taking things personally.
3. External
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen on its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. The essence of true friends, mature, easy with each other, natural. U r no longer interested in all kind of dramas and romances that other people engaged in. It it not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
Soul
Amen. Yea, previously I would be in the drama with them. But now, I just don't want to. I am ignoring my mind.
Even when I couldn't do suria. I improvise and just continue.
4. What is needed for resolution. New Vision
When u open up to the ultimate, immediately it pours into u. U r no longer an ordinary human being - u have transcended. Ur insight has become the insight of the whole existence. Now u r no longer separate - u have found ur roots.
U r presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and we come to know from experience that the dark and difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
Soul
Yday, I saw the various situations as attacking. Today I see them as just friendly. Except for AD case whereby it hit more on the 'rejection' mode and I don't mind being an unpopular person.
(Evening - once I changed my perception, everything ends well)
5. The Understanding
We are the World
Only in celebration do we meet the ultimate, the eternal. Only in celebration, do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
A time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole. It is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. We are linked together in the exquisite patter of eternal creation.
Nov 3 Even
Father, my left shoulder still stiff for 2nd day. I wish it to be healed so I can do proper suria namaskara.
Samyama meditation, followed by Shoonya and end with Shakti. The sequence seem ok, but I felt myself rushing at Shakti. Somehow Samyama has more pull. I can do it for half an hour. I guess since shoonya and breathe watching is easy for me, combined, samyama becomes easy too.
Father, why after samyama, the joints become more painful. Also, shakti is more sluggish than before the rest.
Forgiveness - who didn't I forgive. A tot came - me.
Rejection is just a projection of my compulsive mind
Nov 2
Father, today left shoulder is in pain, but not too bad. Did my asanas. On breathing meditation, couldn't go in and obtain the experience in Ashram (like I told J, I usually disregard the experiences during program as it is not self and hence not mine).
But shambavi was fine.
During the practice, I can see my flow of compulsive tots relating to partners. This time I didn't follow it and it just passed by.
Yday, too much meat dishes, overdose after 30 days of veg. Today want to eat porridge.
Father, I did samyama, 4 cycles (around half an hour) and its fine. I am glad I can do samyama now and it will be on daily cos I can also do it just before I sleep on weekend.
I have bit of cold, think its the outpour of rain, then immediate dip in Teethakoon afte Dynalinga (supposed the other way around) and the aircond in the midnight plane ride. But I know I will be fine. The meditation will take care of it soon.
Osho
Each individual has to become a meditator, a silent watcher, so that he can discover himself. And the discovery going to change everything around him. And if we can change many people through meditation, we can create a new world.
Everybody wants freedom, but nobdy wants responsibility. If so, then u will never have freedom, but only slavery.
Take responsibility! And then even in poverty, suffering, imprisoned in jail, u will remain completely a master of yourself. U will have the freedom that comes with the responsibility. And the moment u r urself, u start growing, become greener. Flowers start opening up, and there is great fragrance around u.
Nov 2 Aft
Yday, while in the plane back from Coimbatore to Chennai. I slept and suddenly woke up. I looked out and saw blinking lights. At first I tot it was the building lights and but on second look, the blinking lights patterns look familar, like the star pattern that I saw in Ashram. Then I realised the blinking light is around me and not below me. The plane was stationery in the air while waiting for landing. What an incredible sight.
Father, this few days of watching my tots, I now am ready to counter my belief of rejection. No one rejects me. I set myself up with frustrating mental rship that firstly I don't even want and secondly not in existent. So, I set myself up just to experience inner 'rejection' by people.
Father, today left shoulder is in pain, but not too bad. Did my asanas. On breathing meditation, couldn't go in and obtain the experience in Ashram (like I told J, I usually disregard the experiences during program as it is not self and hence not mine).
But shambavi was fine.
During the practice, I can see my flow of compulsive tots relating to partners. This time I didn't follow it and it just passed by.
Yday, too much meat dishes, overdose after 30 days of veg. Today want to eat porridge.
Father, I did samyama, 4 cycles (around half an hour) and its fine. I am glad I can do samyama now and it will be on daily cos I can also do it just before I sleep on weekend.
I have bit of cold, think its the outpour of rain, then immediate dip in Teethakoon afte Dynalinga (supposed the other way around) and the aircond in the midnight plane ride. But I know I will be fine. The meditation will take care of it soon.
Osho
Each individual has to become a meditator, a silent watcher, so that he can discover himself. And the discovery going to change everything around him. And if we can change many people through meditation, we can create a new world.
Everybody wants freedom, but nobdy wants responsibility. If so, then u will never have freedom, but only slavery.
Take responsibility! And then even in poverty, suffering, imprisoned in jail, u will remain completely a master of yourself. U will have the freedom that comes with the responsibility. And the moment u r urself, u start growing, become greener. Flowers start opening up, and there is great fragrance around u.
Nov 2 Aft
Yday, while in the plane back from Coimbatore to Chennai. I slept and suddenly woke up. I looked out and saw blinking lights. At first I tot it was the building lights and but on second look, the blinking lights patterns look familar, like the star pattern that I saw in Ashram. Then I realised the blinking light is around me and not below me. The plane was stationery in the air while waiting for landing. What an incredible sight.
Father, this few days of watching my tots, I now am ready to counter my belief of rejection. No one rejects me. I set myself up with frustrating mental rship that firstly I don't even want and secondly not in existent. So, I set myself up just to experience inner 'rejection' by people.
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