Awareness clearing compulsive tots (4)

Nov 16 Eve
College founder on his success.
We just did what we believed in. We never pursued profit or thought about how much money to make. It all happened from honest hard work. If we had thought about the money then we may not have been so successful - the driving force would have been different.

Soul
Tot about my website. Looks like I also need to pay monthly USD25 for the commercial, USD18 for the proof-read and annual website and etc. Of cos, first tot, would I make it back. Then I told myself I can afford to pay this miscellaneous money as I am employed.
My point of having the site is to share my writing. Is to fulfill my Passion and to create an alternative career when I retire early. My aim is by age 45.
So reading the College founder msg reminds me to go back to my Passion.
Focus on Jan 2011 launch. Amen.

Evening
Just now watching the korean drama, a sad show, I was watching my breathe. Noted that I m not caught up with the drama.

Just on the way driving back. I felt happy and I suddenly say I love me. I recalled I used to say I love A previously. Alas, I am myself. I am also listening to radio after 2 years of just listening to isha song/music.

Diamond Heart
When we observe the mind at work, it may not appear to be very important. But over a period of time, we can begin to observe with an unforced, relaxed concentration that may be a new experience in itself. This way of looking inward might lead to important insights into the nature of tot, as well as a new awareness of the connections between tots and feelings.

Soul
Earlier was thinking of image for book. At first tot of desserts. But in the late afternoon, I suddenly recalled Firefly bringing lights. And that will be the image I want. Also thinking to change the ebook to Firefly Vol 1.
Joyride..it will be. But to get a pix to denote joyride will not be easy.
Father, m going to change the ebook name to Firefly. If m to retain Joyride, I will get the pix.


Diamond Heart
Left to themselves, tots tend to carry on to a point where they pause, almost as if they have converged at a blank wall. At any time, the mind may be silent for a moment. This seeming "dead end" where tots melt into a single point could be a gateway to new knowledge. Focusing on this point with balanced concentration, we might see possibilities for a way of knowing that lies beyond our accustomed pattern of thinking. If we remain relaxed and aware, we might sense a feeling of brightness, as if light shining through the silence.

Soul
Wonder could this be the laughter that escape when I reached tail end of my focus during samyama.

Diamond Heart
Observing ur tots - u r not concerned with the contents of the tos, u just look at the strings of tots. U just want to see it as a tot. If u continue looking, jus watching it in a relaxed, balance way and not reacting to the tot, u might see that there are gaps between tots, and u might experience the quality of the gap.

Soul
What a coincidence. This book reinforce samyama.
Yea, its not to hold the pix/content. It just to be aware tots are running thru my mind. M on the right track for samyama.