Samyama Refresher (7)

Oct 31 Afternoon

Father, amazing things happening.
Went to Dynalinga (first time after samyama), did my half an hour surka kriya and then tot of sitting quietly for the next 15 min, suddenly head was shaking non-stop. Looks like I have received much life energy that my body can take.
Then went to Theetakhoon, was feeling slight apprehension, hoping some nice person will lead me in the water. Amazingly, the water is light and clear (not heavy and muddy like previously) and I can stand properly and walk across. First thing I tot of was that they reduce the water level. But then I saw the level, its the same. Its me that have changed?? I am no longer afraid of the water. Anyway, will check out tomorrow. I have lost my fear of Teethakoon and Dynalinga.

(Dec 10 - they have reduced the water level)

Light on Yoga
Upeksa - it is a search for self-examination to find out how one would have behaved when faced with the same temptations. It is also an examination to see how far one is responsible for the state into which the unfortunate one has fallen and the attempt thereafter to put him on the right path. The yogi understands the faults of others by seeing and studying them first in himself. This self-study teaches him to be charitable to all.

Soul
This seem to be similar to non-judgement; forgiveness. And this has been my path.

(Dec 10 - Amazing, yesterday have loving tot for CEO. I have come a long way)

Light on yoga
The mind and the breath are intimately connected and the activity or the cessartion of one affects the other. Hence rhythmic breath control (pranayama) for achieving mental equipoise and inner peace.

Soul
Father, now after samyama. I seem to be aware of my flying tot. So much unnecessary tots. How come I never notice it before. So compulsive. I noticed flying tot on potential partner (eventhough m not keen, just to see I have the power) and then flying tot on money (eventhough I have money).

Father, suddenly tot of Ace of Diamond - desire for love and money. The desire is becos I tot I don't have. No wonder the compulsive tots. Luckily, I normally don't act on my compulsive tots and hence have little compulsive behaviour.

Another tot came, my issue with high value and low value food. Also arise from money and love. Father, I tot mind was shitty but I have contained it somewhat, and hence little worries and fear. But now I can see all the little flying tots. It is scary. Will do samyama and I now will do shoonya more regularly.

Father, so many compulsive tots. Why never see before? Scary. A tot just came. Thank U for saving me from all the possible wrong relationship. I wasn't thinking right. Of cos, there is the conman, but that actually stop my compulsive behaviour and I realised I stoop low and definitely a case of lack of self esteem.