Rejection is just a projection of my compulsive mind

Nov 2
Father, today left shoulder is in pain, but not too bad. Did my asanas. On breathing meditation, couldn't go in and obtain the experience in Ashram (like I told J, I usually disregard the experiences during program as it is not self and hence not mine).
But shambavi was fine.
During the practice, I can see my flow of compulsive tots relating to partners. This time I didn't follow it and it just passed by.
Yday, too much meat dishes, overdose after 30 days of veg. Today want to eat porridge.

Father, I did samyama, 4 cycles (around half an hour) and its fine. I am glad I can do samyama now and it will be on daily cos I can also do it just before I sleep on weekend.
I have bit of cold, think its the outpour of rain, then immediate dip in Teethakoon afte Dynalinga (supposed the other way around) and the aircond in the midnight plane ride. But I know I will be fine. The meditation will take care of it soon.

Osho
Each individual has to become a meditator, a silent watcher, so that he can discover himself. And the discovery going to change everything around him. And if we can change many people through meditation, we can create a new world.
Everybody wants freedom, but nobdy wants responsibility. If so, then u will never have freedom, but only slavery.
Take responsibility! And then even in poverty, suffering, imprisoned in jail, u will remain completely a master of yourself. U will have the freedom that comes with the responsibility. And the moment u r urself, u start growing, become greener. Flowers start opening up, and there is great fragrance around u.


Nov 2 Aft
Yday, while in the plane back from Coimbatore to Chennai. I slept and suddenly woke up. I looked out and saw blinking lights. At first I tot it was the building lights and but on second look, the blinking lights patterns look familar, like the star pattern that I saw in Ashram. Then I realised the blinking light is around me and not below me. The plane was stationery in the air while waiting for landing. What an incredible sight.

Father, this few days of watching my tots, I now am ready to counter my belief of rejection. No one rejects me. I set myself up with frustrating mental rship that firstly I don't even want and secondly not in existent. So, I set myself up just to experience inner 'rejection' by people.