The past is no more

Jul 5
Father, did my practice. Then lie down for asanas, but took a moment to relax and I slept, woke up 7.12 am. I must be tired after yday ordeal. But I am fine now.

Yesterday boss scold me for judging her on her PA. I felt sad that she routed to the past, also bit unfair on her part for not acknowledging. When it is the 3rd PA that leave, she must take some responsibility. I scolded myself for being truthful and got myself in trouble. But few seconds later, I said I don't want to change. Anyway, I just know that I don't want to get involve in their drama. In future, just said no comment.

1. Issue
The Fool
A fool is one who goes on trusting, a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience. Don't try to create a wall of knowledge. Whatsoever experience comes to u, let it happen and then go on dropping it. Go on dying to the past, so u remain in the present. And each time u don't allow situations to corrupt u, that opportunity will become an integration inside. Ur soul will become crystalised.
Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.

Soul
When I read this card in the morning, I was puzzled. Later when boss invite me for lunch after scolding me off. I just go back to my normal self with her, the past is gone.
When I got back, I tot if this could be Z but I don't want to go there.
Then tot of office, so much turmoil going on. The old me would have tot this another challenge n suffering. The new me took in stride, still focus on 4 days week, and even turn the situation by having my staff prepare my report, something they never do before.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough.
The dawn is not far away, but before u can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.

If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this breakthrough can bring.

Soul
Not sure. Tot of boss and her denial. I don't like lunch with her, firstly too much food and secondly only what she wants to eat and where.
Tot of Z but let's not go there.

3. External influence
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded.
Now u r presented to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together. The dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy. By allowing all of life's colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.

Soul
After reading my nodes. I know I am on the right track. And my hidden anger at Z also dissolves when I saw his issue in rships.

Somehow I am fine to be friends again. Would love to show him his nodes.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Thunderbolt
U might be feeling shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath ur feet. Ur sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is try to hold on to whatever u can.
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if u can allow it, u will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.

Soul
Perhaps to do with office turmoil.
A tot came that it could be Z, but let's not go there.
C said house 6 is about jobs.

5. The understanding
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality u will not be able to find ur individuality.

Soul
Not sure about this cos I m normally myself unless I am not aware.