Cosmic Reward - beginning of recovery (8)

Jun 24
Father, my morning practice was good. Had a good breakfast too and now at Starbuck. But I am feeling down, just want to chill out with a book and cry a bit. I missed him.

Mmm, my today reading is Four of Spades - card of satisfaction and stability in both health, work and all affairs in general.

Aiyah, its true. Everything is fine and I am recovering from Z. I should be focusing what I have instead of what I don't have. Maybe its not Z. I am just in my down mode.

Aiyah, today the trees and flowers look vibrant and alive to me. Focus on what I have instead of what I don't have. Maybe I am down today because its exactly one week since our final break up.

Today when I was doing my practice a tot came to me. God is kind to me. That I can never doubt, though he throws me challenges, he is always kind to me. My work life can be considered effortless and now I want my love life to be effortless.


Jun 24 Eve
Slept about 3 hours nap today. Good rest. Now reading story book. Tots of Z is bit heavy today. I now understood M. This is the first time I am letting go something I want. Now I understand why it was so difficult for M to leave the company. It is not easy for me to leave Z. I miss him.
Anyway, its 1 week and 2 days. Let's just wait for another 2 weeks till sathsang. I will be fine by then.

Father, I have always been able to walk away. For once, I faced difficulty. Now I can emphatise with others who said they cannot walk away.