Jul 11 Eve
Father, I want him but I deserved a normal relationship.
He cannot give me that. Anyway, no worries. I only see him once a month. And he will find a replacement.
For now, I just want to focus on my writing. I don't need him to to show I am lovable. I am lovable because I love myself.
External influence
We are the world
This card represents a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us bring to the whole.
We can combine our tremendous inner wealth to create a treasure of love and wisdom that is available to all.
What is needed for resolution?
Schizophrenia
Man is split. If u want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. U cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality. In this way happiness is not possible.
Whatever decision we make, we will always wonder if we should have decided the other way. The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, let go of both at once. Better follow ur heart. If u can't find it, just jump -- ur heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!
Soul
I am not saying no to him as I do want him. But I know I want to have a normal rship and he can't give that to me. Besides, we have different goals in life.
Anyway, nothing to decide. He is not barking at my door anyway. He will let me go.
5. The Understanding
Laziness
This poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show.
Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now its time to move one. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
(Jul 31 - guess this is about me having to pursue my Destiny)
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