The Nodes are correct!

Jul 10 Eve
Father, its mind boggling. I just met Z today and he tot we are still on.

When we were alone, he start to tickle me. I told him to stop the first time. Second round he did it again.He asked me why I haven't call him for such a long time? He even kid about telling a friend about us.

He is either so dense (for god sake) or so arrogant. He tot I would come running despite declaring we are off, after 3 rounds of discussion.

So, the Nodes were right about him. He really tot he is God's gift to women. He thinks that he is the king in relationship, playing the mind game.
And he got gentler women who either pant up to him or gave up on him.
Well, I am neither panning nor give up.
I will give him straight especially after reading his Nodes.

Also I was disappointed in him for following the mini-celebrity. He wanted the status. Just like he wanted the status when he said he would take to return the money.

Today I met an Isha guy who does website development. I will outsource it to him as V is too busy. He asked for my website and I gave it to him. I was bit surprised that I wasn't shy when I told him the site. Perhaps he doesn't know me and hence it is fine.

Today sathsang was great, the energy was doubled of last week. I am looking forward to guru poornima.

Father, I am disappointed in Z. He has so much power and can stand on his own and yet seek others or things to beef himself up.

Mmm, do I do that?

Anyway, I have no inclination to call him. I was surprised that

Father, my skin allergy on my body is cleared but suddenly I developed ezema. I used to have a little spot and now it trippled. Will find out the issue.
I just realised I wrote a couple 'disappointment' on Z. One thing I know is while I am still attracted to him, I now see his South Node in Leo obviously and it is not a good sight. So, net is that I won't contact him. We are cleared that we can talk to each other as normal. I have made my peace with him. All the drama in my mind is not real. Even the fiasco of yday evening and this afternoon about him deleting me is also not real.

Father, even if he decide to open up on us, I don't want to continue with him cos I deserved and I want a committed relationship, not something touch and go. I wanted to settle down with my partner. I wanted someone like me, whom I can connect to on spiritual side.

Father, what I see in him. So, much drama, reluctance to do practices and yet claimed to be in - shallow, so much in denial mode. And just like M, so much 'complaint' and yet never changed.
What I saw earlier of him being a self-made man, was his potential. I fell for his potentials and now I saw his shadows.
I am the type, if I know I would change. And he is not that type. For me, nothing to lose.