North node in Taurus - the bonding they seek is not with others but within themselves

Feb 17

Slept late....this morning woke up from noise downstairs. Someone looking for mom.
Slept back and woke up upon alarm at 7 am but unwilling.
Doze bit and woke up at 7.05 am.

Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch.
Angamardhana was flexible, but couldn't do the squatting posture as my right feet toes was swelling. So did all the others. Was sweating much from the standing posture.
Able to sit on hero posture without any prop. And there is no pain, only slightly stretched. Was singing.
Did one cycle of Surya Kriya..it was not so great cos right feet was swelling.
Quite focused on the 61 point awareness meditation.

Breathing meditation was lovely...just want to sit in it..
Shakti was good despite the hurting feet. I couldn't do the 150 Kapala Bhakti.
I was singing at the end.
Shambavi was good. Just start from Suka Kriya..it was good.
I was singing Asatoma.
I also recalled some crying..crying because I will meet Z soon and have to see my past.
Crying cos I want this karmic experience to be over.

Later a tot occurred to me..not one of my romantic partner was right because I wasn't myself.
I need to be fully myself..thats my karmic challenge of North Node in Taurus.
Thats me moving from my Ruling of Ace of Diamonds to Destiny Queen of Diamonds

Astrology for Soul by Jan Spiller
North Node is to shift their focus toward turning within themselves to connect with the wealth of reassurance and peace in their own nature. Thus the bonding they need for security and a sense of self-worth can happen within themselves.

Remembering my song for North Node in Taurus by Jan Spiller
They can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves  - it will never come as the by-products of a relationship, even with a soul mate.

My guy got sick, needed attention
So I put on my nurse's hat....
My heart fell when he called it "distraction"
Thats not where I was at!

And I remembered:
Seeky ye first, the kingdom of heaven
And I turned within ....
And before too long, my heart felt strong
The outside got in order again!
So seek ye first.....
Because inside of you's the kingdom of heaven!