Aug 15
Father, I strained my left shoulder becos I was watching video on my notebook. I was using my left shoulder to balance the notebook. So painful that I woke up around 4 am and then my body was refreshed by 6.20 am. Did my 3 rounds of walk in the park, quite difficult but I make it cos I was focused on my breathing.
I really must be more aware of my body. I now have 3 areas over-strained. The left wrist and right elbow has not fully recovered since 2 to 3 mths back and now added with left shoulder. Father, let me be healed. I wanted to do my suria namaskara tomorro. I think it has loosed, mayb 40 percent.
Please let me recover.
Father, my sis asked why with yoga and meditation, my RA worsen. Perhaps I should looked into my food intake. I told her nope cos nothing wrong wit my blood. Doc's advice is just to intensify the medicine, which is not what I want. They says this sickness u have to fight aggressively.
Father, u said its my cosmic lesson, 7 of Spade, to have faith despite facing ailment, help me through this.
Heal Ur life - Louise L. Hay
1. What we give out, we get back.
2. The Universe totally supports us in every tots we choose to think and believe - choose affirming intead of self-jeopardising
3. The Universal power never judges or criticises us - It accepts at our own value. Then it reflects our beliefs in our lives.
Affm: Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable.
4. Most of Us have foolish ideas abt who we are. And most of us has many many rigid rules of how life ought to be lived.
5. When we are little, we learn how to feel about ourselves and about life by the reactions of adults around us.
6. When we grow up, we tend to re-create the emotional environment of our family life.
7. However I would not blame our parents for this.
8. I believe that we choose our parents.
9. The point of power is always in the present moment.
10. The only thing we are ever dealing wit is a tot and a tot can be changed.
11. Believe it or not, we can choose our own tot.
12. Most people has the innermost belief that they are not good enough.
13. I find that resentment, guilt and fear cause more problems than anything else.
Criticism as a permanent habit can often lead to arthritis in the body. Guilt always look for punishment and punishment creates pain.
14. We can change our attitide towards the past.
15. To release the past, we must be willing to forgive.
16. All dis-ease comes from a state of unforgiveness. The very person u find it hardest to forgive is the one u need to let go of the most. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go.
When we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works. Its as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our rships becomes more fulfilling and we become more creative. All this seems to happen without our even trying - effortless.
Self-approval and self-acceptance are the main keys to positive changes.
Loving the self, to me, begins with never ever criticising ourselves for anything. Criticism locks us into the very pattern we r trying to change.
Try approving urself and see what happens.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Connecting to the Universe (5)
Aug 14
This mornin practices, was having enjoying tots and hence hooked. Didn't focus on shakti. Only come back during shambavi. Remember Osho's msg of going beyond both enjoyment and suffering.
Father, just now was swimming. First round, I float, but subsequently I swam. Felt breathless, not so easy to connect to U. Anyway, the last 3 laps I remember to float. Incredible. So effortless to reach my destination, even without my wanting to do so. I jus wan to float.
Was saying my thanks to U and tot to share the swimming meditation. Wish everyone could connect to U and felt the joy I am experiencing everyday.
Osho - Nanak
If u observe ur desires and do no become the enjoyer of them, u are the witness. If u experience desires as the doer u will lose urself in the many. By witnessing alone, u can reduce the many into the three.
Whatever u do, do not be involved in ur actions. Observe everything in a detached manner and one fine day, u will suddenly discover the three (Brahma - Creator; Vishnu - Sustainer; Shiva - Destroyer) has arrived, where u descends into creation. As soon as the witnessing is cultivated, u have become the seeker. Whatever the situation (mundane as eating, happiness or sadness), keep the witness alert inside.Never lose sight of it within.
You will lose sight, if u become the enjoyer or the doer.
Once u r witnessing, awakening occurs and consciousness returns.
Soul
Now I know why d guy in the korean drama always pique my interest. I liked his intensity whenever he love someone. On the surface, I seem simple, but I am intense in my path.
And I know I will be intense when I am in love...while not on the surface, but definitely inside. I am keeping up all the emotion inside..
This mornin practices, was having enjoying tots and hence hooked. Didn't focus on shakti. Only come back during shambavi. Remember Osho's msg of going beyond both enjoyment and suffering.
Father, just now was swimming. First round, I float, but subsequently I swam. Felt breathless, not so easy to connect to U. Anyway, the last 3 laps I remember to float. Incredible. So effortless to reach my destination, even without my wanting to do so. I jus wan to float.
Was saying my thanks to U and tot to share the swimming meditation. Wish everyone could connect to U and felt the joy I am experiencing everyday.
Osho - Nanak
If u observe ur desires and do no become the enjoyer of them, u are the witness. If u experience desires as the doer u will lose urself in the many. By witnessing alone, u can reduce the many into the three.
Whatever u do, do not be involved in ur actions. Observe everything in a detached manner and one fine day, u will suddenly discover the three (Brahma - Creator; Vishnu - Sustainer; Shiva - Destroyer) has arrived, where u descends into creation. As soon as the witnessing is cultivated, u have become the seeker. Whatever the situation (mundane as eating, happiness or sadness), keep the witness alert inside.Never lose sight of it within.
You will lose sight, if u become the enjoyer or the doer.
Once u r witnessing, awakening occurs and consciousness returns.
Soul
Now I know why d guy in the korean drama always pique my interest. I liked his intensity whenever he love someone. On the surface, I seem simple, but I am intense in my path.
And I know I will be intense when I am in love...while not on the surface, but definitely inside. I am keeping up all the emotion inside..
Knowledge within and compassion without (2)
Aug 13 Even
Father, read my destiny cards. This is a year, at 43, that I will find my purpose. By 45, is a year of re-birth. Looks like things are in place. A bit apprehensive but I know that its going the right way. God is real smart.
Osho - Nanak
Look at God within u - that is knowledge; and don't ever forget the God in others - that is compassion.
He who realises and knows that he is nothing becomes everything. He who annihilates himself completely on earth becomes God himself.
There is only one power worth attaining - to be freed from union and separations.
U would neither made happy by unions nor unhappy by partings.
Be patient, be tranquil in whatever is given u, for it is a part of ur destiny. Things had to happen this way and so they happen. And since only that happens which has to happen, why the discontent? Why the complaints, the weeping and wailing? Accept whatever fate ordains. Try to liberate urself from unions and separations. This alone is the siddhi, all else is lesser quality stuff.
Soul
That's why not to fear Nine card. Death and re-birth.
What a coincidence. Another message.
I know my dream is to be a famous and well paid Transformational Leader. I am not sure what will happen. I just get the ball rolling. Blog done for more than a year, Articles started abt 3 mths back and now to do domain. Will take up counseling course and also do the destiny card. Let me just get my act together.
Osho - Nanak
A religious man will not be able to carry electricity to the villages or make atom bombs, but he can illumine each and every heart; and this light is tremendous. He can fill each heart with song and dance, and thus fill life with brightness.
Soul
Exactly my tot. I want to share with people, the joy within, the happiness that arise without any reason. I want to share about how our mind play tricks on us.
I wan to lighten people's loads, want them to know it is us that burden ourselves. It is not God, never Him.
I wan them to be able to feel the joy that I experience daily.
Father, read my destiny cards. This is a year, at 43, that I will find my purpose. By 45, is a year of re-birth. Looks like things are in place. A bit apprehensive but I know that its going the right way. God is real smart.
Osho - Nanak
Look at God within u - that is knowledge; and don't ever forget the God in others - that is compassion.
He who realises and knows that he is nothing becomes everything. He who annihilates himself completely on earth becomes God himself.
There is only one power worth attaining - to be freed from union and separations.
U would neither made happy by unions nor unhappy by partings.
Be patient, be tranquil in whatever is given u, for it is a part of ur destiny. Things had to happen this way and so they happen. And since only that happens which has to happen, why the discontent? Why the complaints, the weeping and wailing? Accept whatever fate ordains. Try to liberate urself from unions and separations. This alone is the siddhi, all else is lesser quality stuff.
Soul
That's why not to fear Nine card. Death and re-birth.
What a coincidence. Another message.
I know my dream is to be a famous and well paid Transformational Leader. I am not sure what will happen. I just get the ball rolling. Blog done for more than a year, Articles started abt 3 mths back and now to do domain. Will take up counseling course and also do the destiny card. Let me just get my act together.
Osho - Nanak
A religious man will not be able to carry electricity to the villages or make atom bombs, but he can illumine each and every heart; and this light is tremendous. He can fill each heart with song and dance, and thus fill life with brightness.
Soul
Exactly my tot. I want to share with people, the joy within, the happiness that arise without any reason. I want to share about how our mind play tricks on us.
I wan to lighten people's loads, want them to know it is us that burden ourselves. It is not God, never Him.
I wan them to be able to feel the joy that I experience daily.
My website Joy Ong
Aug 13
Father, thank U. Finally cleared the air with the gal M's whose pride was triggered by my comment that her race is mostly on the poor side. Thanks to Osho's msg of knowledge within for own self and compassion without for others is the path for spiritual liberation.
Instead of saying m wrong, I tot why don't I say she has the right to her feeling and even if it dent me, at least she shared, that I appreciate.
Father, m so happy. Today I was laughing from suria namaskara, to breathing meditation and shambavi. Now enjoying my breakfast alone. I really savour this time. The 4 days week is really great.
Just now even called her on IE pgm, good feelings all around. Amen
Afternoon.
Suddenly tot of me compromising myself in friendship for the sake of good food.
Isn't this similar to compromising myself in marriage for the sake of good life of comfort, ie money.
Even now, whenever I viewed any potential, the overriding criteria is still life of comfort. Honestly, even now if all things is roughly similar I would still choose the one with money.
Father, spoken to V. Will buy a domain and pay the money abt 600 a year. The domain name. Since this is my branding, its important its reflective of me. My domain name - JoyOng. JoyWai, JoyBeing. Father, I know suffering is blessing but what I can bring to people is Joy. So will use JoyOng.
Father, thank U. Finally cleared the air with the gal M's whose pride was triggered by my comment that her race is mostly on the poor side. Thanks to Osho's msg of knowledge within for own self and compassion without for others is the path for spiritual liberation.
Instead of saying m wrong, I tot why don't I say she has the right to her feeling and even if it dent me, at least she shared, that I appreciate.
Father, m so happy. Today I was laughing from suria namaskara, to breathing meditation and shambavi. Now enjoying my breakfast alone. I really savour this time. The 4 days week is really great.
Just now even called her on IE pgm, good feelings all around. Amen
Afternoon.
Suddenly tot of me compromising myself in friendship for the sake of good food.
Isn't this similar to compromising myself in marriage for the sake of good life of comfort, ie money.
Even now, whenever I viewed any potential, the overriding criteria is still life of comfort. Honestly, even now if all things is roughly similar I would still choose the one with money.
Father, spoken to V. Will buy a domain and pay the money abt 600 a year. The domain name. Since this is my branding, its important its reflective of me. My domain name - JoyOng. JoyWai, JoyBeing. Father, I know suffering is blessing but what I can bring to people is Joy. So will use JoyOng.
Knowledge within and compassion without
Aug 12 Ev
Sadhguru
For a person who knows his limitations, even if something comes up in life, he's not really affected. It doesn't really touch him.
Soul
Yeap. I was bit disturbed by the email saying I degrade on the Tamil people. I was just making a statement. Alas, I guess I shld be more sensitive. Nevermind. Guess jus my child seeing this as rejection. Anyway, perhaps that's why I forward the mail to teacher. On hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have.
As for d email on informing people on whereabout. No reply from them. Anyway, also nevermind. Just my child seeing this as rejection.
Its ok lah.
Yeap, I love myself. Even if the whole world rejected me, God and I love me. My family love me too.
(Aug 31 - The teacher did reply my mail, she agreed with me that I was just making a statement of fact and that the other gal's pride was hurt, thats all. Surprisingly, I was able to get over it the following day and called the gal on some other matter.)
Osho - Nanak
Make knowledge ur pleasure and compassion ur storehouse. Knowledge and compassions are the 2 wings to be mastered in order to fly into the heavens of his abode. Knowledge and wisdom for within, sympathy and compassion for without.
If there is only knowledge within, but no sympathy and tenderness without, there is danger of ur not attaining perfection. If there is sympathy and tenderness without but no knowledge within, then too u r incomplete.
Knowledge ultimately refers to oneself; sympathy means to know others.
Unlimited compassion arises when wisdom is born. You will give freely, do all in ur power to help others to reach him, for all are wandering and groping.
To attain knowledge, u need courage and boldness.
Let ur feet travel towards liberation, but take others along with u.
Remember that as u cultivate both compassion outside and knowledge within, ur momentum increases towards the goal.
(Aug 31 - Finally got it, then I need to bring along others too, to complete my journey. No wonder, Sadhguru is compelled to carry us along)
Sadhguru
For a person who knows his limitations, even if something comes up in life, he's not really affected. It doesn't really touch him.
Soul
Yeap. I was bit disturbed by the email saying I degrade on the Tamil people. I was just making a statement. Alas, I guess I shld be more sensitive. Nevermind. Guess jus my child seeing this as rejection. Anyway, perhaps that's why I forward the mail to teacher. On hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have.
As for d email on informing people on whereabout. No reply from them. Anyway, also nevermind. Just my child seeing this as rejection.
Its ok lah.
Yeap, I love myself. Even if the whole world rejected me, God and I love me. My family love me too.
(Aug 31 - The teacher did reply my mail, she agreed with me that I was just making a statement of fact and that the other gal's pride was hurt, thats all. Surprisingly, I was able to get over it the following day and called the gal on some other matter.)
Osho - Nanak
Make knowledge ur pleasure and compassion ur storehouse. Knowledge and compassions are the 2 wings to be mastered in order to fly into the heavens of his abode. Knowledge and wisdom for within, sympathy and compassion for without.
If there is only knowledge within, but no sympathy and tenderness without, there is danger of ur not attaining perfection. If there is sympathy and tenderness without but no knowledge within, then too u r incomplete.
Knowledge ultimately refers to oneself; sympathy means to know others.
Unlimited compassion arises when wisdom is born. You will give freely, do all in ur power to help others to reach him, for all are wandering and groping.
To attain knowledge, u need courage and boldness.
Let ur feet travel towards liberation, but take others along with u.
Remember that as u cultivate both compassion outside and knowledge within, ur momentum increases towards the goal.
(Aug 31 - Finally got it, then I need to bring along others too, to complete my journey. No wonder, Sadhguru is compelled to carry us along)
Just accept where you are - go with the flow (4)
Aug 12
Father, hatha yoga was effortless. I slept during breathing meditation. Woke up and did my shambavi, I went deep inward during meditation. Only one thing in my mind - My life is effortless. My love life is effortless. My work is effortless.
Yday, Regional praised me and said I am now the model FD. She asked if I like to help out on sbox. I told her that I did what I have to cos I want my 4 days week. As for volunteering, m busy with closing new deals. Father, I no longer need to prove my valuation.
When I was driving here, I told myself I have ate and sleep loads and now I wan to experience love. Yday, in the cantonese drama show, the guy says he didn't wan to try out love as the possibility of return is small but the payout is so monumental. His friend says that is fearful talks, fear of being hurt, he must have hurt before by girlfriend or mother.
I tot of myself, am I still afraid? Am I so fragile? Nope, I am ok. I am willing to take the risk. Just wan to go with the flow, wherever it may lead me.
Osho
1. Issue - Participation.
Make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy.
You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to create something greater and more beautiful than each of u could manage alone. Your participation not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.
Soul
The tamil IE pgm is coming up. I will help to promote.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Possibilities.
You are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to u. Becos u have grown more loving towards urself, more self contained, u work easily with others. Becos u r relaxed, u can recognised possibilities as they present themselves.
Becos u r in tune with ur own nature, u understand that existence is providing u with exactly what u need.
Soul
Hope so. But my mind can have such conflict, fear still there. A tot came - courage is to act despite the fear.
3. External influence of which u r aware - Schizophrenia.
Man is split. You cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality ... Happiness is not possible. Unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.
The whole purpose of Zen is how to drop this split personality, how to drop the divided mind, how to become undivided, integrated, centered, crystalised.
The only way out is to let go of both conflicting tots. You can't work ur way out of this by solving, by list of pros and cons. Better follow ur heart, if u can find it.
If u can't, just jump.
Soul
Well, I did jump despite not sure. Create an opening. Still not sure but I will play it by ear. Besides take it with a pinch of salt. Need not be serious, just play lah.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Mind
The cloud in ur mind has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop it that it will disappear. You are clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.
Remember that the mind is meant to be a servant and not be allowed to run our lives.
Soul
Noted. My heart has been closed for so many years. Last 2 days, I prayed for my heart to open. I am ready to give up some power from my mind to my heart. I want to open up my heart. I want to hear what it says, what it want. I am ready to be let my heart guide me partially.
5. Resolution - Success.
Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong being with the valley, being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
Enjoy ur success and welcome it, share it. Its ok that it will end.
Soul
I tot that it answer my fear abt yea, my heart flutter with excitement when I am near him but the downside is too much to bear. Not sure I wan to take the risk to embark such risky adventure.
Father, hatha yoga was effortless. I slept during breathing meditation. Woke up and did my shambavi, I went deep inward during meditation. Only one thing in my mind - My life is effortless. My love life is effortless. My work is effortless.
Yday, Regional praised me and said I am now the model FD. She asked if I like to help out on sbox. I told her that I did what I have to cos I want my 4 days week. As for volunteering, m busy with closing new deals. Father, I no longer need to prove my valuation.
When I was driving here, I told myself I have ate and sleep loads and now I wan to experience love. Yday, in the cantonese drama show, the guy says he didn't wan to try out love as the possibility of return is small but the payout is so monumental. His friend says that is fearful talks, fear of being hurt, he must have hurt before by girlfriend or mother.
I tot of myself, am I still afraid? Am I so fragile? Nope, I am ok. I am willing to take the risk. Just wan to go with the flow, wherever it may lead me.
Osho
1. Issue - Participation.
Make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy.
You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to create something greater and more beautiful than each of u could manage alone. Your participation not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.
Soul
The tamil IE pgm is coming up. I will help to promote.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Possibilities.
You are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to u. Becos u have grown more loving towards urself, more self contained, u work easily with others. Becos u r relaxed, u can recognised possibilities as they present themselves.
Becos u r in tune with ur own nature, u understand that existence is providing u with exactly what u need.
Soul
Hope so. But my mind can have such conflict, fear still there. A tot came - courage is to act despite the fear.
3. External influence of which u r aware - Schizophrenia.
Man is split. You cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality ... Happiness is not possible. Unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.
The whole purpose of Zen is how to drop this split personality, how to drop the divided mind, how to become undivided, integrated, centered, crystalised.
The only way out is to let go of both conflicting tots. You can't work ur way out of this by solving, by list of pros and cons. Better follow ur heart, if u can find it.
If u can't, just jump.
Soul
Well, I did jump despite not sure. Create an opening. Still not sure but I will play it by ear. Besides take it with a pinch of salt. Need not be serious, just play lah.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Mind
The cloud in ur mind has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop it that it will disappear. You are clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.
Remember that the mind is meant to be a servant and not be allowed to run our lives.
Soul
Noted. My heart has been closed for so many years. Last 2 days, I prayed for my heart to open. I am ready to give up some power from my mind to my heart. I want to open up my heart. I want to hear what it says, what it want. I am ready to be let my heart guide me partially.
5. Resolution - Success.
Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong being with the valley, being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
Enjoy ur success and welcome it, share it. Its ok that it will end.
Soul
I tot that it answer my fear abt yea, my heart flutter with excitement when I am near him but the downside is too much to bear. Not sure I wan to take the risk to embark such risky adventure.
Just accept where you are - go with the flow (3)
Aug 11 Even
Father, I open up d communication wit d person. Feels liberated.
Just now after shakti. Again, I was crying, holding on to my heart. I cried to let my heart be open. It then followed with laughter rumbling from the lower stomach. I also recalled that my Life is effortless.
Osho - Nanak
To become contented is to have all anxieties fall away. Anxiety is born out of discontent, out of the feeling that u r lacking something, that u r not getting what u deserve or what u think urself worthy of.
The day u attain contentment, u will sleep like a log. Then u have no worries, ur sleep will be undisturbed by dreams arising out of the day-long anxieties.
Discontentment involves beggarliness whereas contentment leaves u the lord and master.
Control of ur consciousness begins with contentment.
Contentment, is a feeling that u have received much more than u need. It requires gratitude, that behind all the apparent sorrow, u see the hidden joy. U find something good and worthwhile in every situation. Ur inner equilibrium cannot be disturbed. All ur true possessions are all within.
It is ur own body that shld be ur companion; ur soul shld be the male and ur body the female. Intercourse can take place between these two, and that is supreme union.
Father, I open up d communication wit d person. Feels liberated.
Just now after shakti. Again, I was crying, holding on to my heart. I cried to let my heart be open. It then followed with laughter rumbling from the lower stomach. I also recalled that my Life is effortless.
Osho - Nanak
To become contented is to have all anxieties fall away. Anxiety is born out of discontent, out of the feeling that u r lacking something, that u r not getting what u deserve or what u think urself worthy of.
The day u attain contentment, u will sleep like a log. Then u have no worries, ur sleep will be undisturbed by dreams arising out of the day-long anxieties.
Discontentment involves beggarliness whereas contentment leaves u the lord and master.
Control of ur consciousness begins with contentment.
Contentment, is a feeling that u have received much more than u need. It requires gratitude, that behind all the apparent sorrow, u see the hidden joy. U find something good and worthwhile in every situation. Ur inner equilibrium cannot be disturbed. All ur true possessions are all within.
It is ur own body that shld be ur companion; ur soul shld be the male and ur body the female. Intercourse can take place between these two, and that is supreme union.
Just accept where you are - go with the flow (2)
Aug 11
Yday, shakti, I was crying holding my heart, becos suddenly tot of me not having someone to share my love. My love over-flows and then it follows by laughter. Amen.
Father, today suria was effortless, despite some pain on both hands.
Suddenly tot my work was effortless. Also tot of yday romance show, so much drama. My love life won't have so much drama, infact very little. It will be effortless.
My mantra - Life is good.
Will change it to my Life is effortless. My love life is effortless. No need to worry abt it. It comes, it comes :).
Mmm, saw so many college students during breakfast. They are worrying about so many things. I recall I never tot abt my studies nor my career then. I don't even do revision kit, unlike others. Don't attend lectures. It was effortless, my best time in life. Even then, I didn't have romance, I was so fine.
For now, just accept my new life sytle. Just be in it. Amen. Whatever I required, will flow in.
Father, reading Radical Forgiveness, abt a gal who had multiple sclerosis did an art therapy and finally realised God loves her. Remind me of my own story of finally uncovering my valuation mode that make tot God consistenly give me challenges to prove my worthiness. I know God loves me and I created my own unlovability. Once I accept my valuation, no need to prove myself.
She was finally cured and started a support group for ms. She found her breakthru and was slowly recovering. She started a new life. She was using her voice and asking for what she wanted, and she was finding that she had the power not only to ask but also to receive.
Father, tot of me. First tot was why still has pain, infact worsen. Then another tot came. After the clearing and knowing God loves me, my pain has lessen and infact yday and this mornin, suria was effortless.
One part of me no longer wants an easy effortless life of just eating, sleeping and watching tv. I prefer my days of meditation, working and a little tv. Father, let me slow down. I am gulping too fast again. Guess, again I wonder what's next. Would there be a calling for me. Would I be encountering my love life. Mmm, perhaps this just the mind. Besides, m taking the counseling course in mid Oct and there is guru pooja in mid Sept.
Yday, shakti, I was crying holding my heart, becos suddenly tot of me not having someone to share my love. My love over-flows and then it follows by laughter. Amen.
Father, today suria was effortless, despite some pain on both hands.
Suddenly tot my work was effortless. Also tot of yday romance show, so much drama. My love life won't have so much drama, infact very little. It will be effortless.
My mantra - Life is good.
Will change it to my Life is effortless. My love life is effortless. No need to worry abt it. It comes, it comes :).
Mmm, saw so many college students during breakfast. They are worrying about so many things. I recall I never tot abt my studies nor my career then. I don't even do revision kit, unlike others. Don't attend lectures. It was effortless, my best time in life. Even then, I didn't have romance, I was so fine.
For now, just accept my new life sytle. Just be in it. Amen. Whatever I required, will flow in.
Father, reading Radical Forgiveness, abt a gal who had multiple sclerosis did an art therapy and finally realised God loves her. Remind me of my own story of finally uncovering my valuation mode that make tot God consistenly give me challenges to prove my worthiness. I know God loves me and I created my own unlovability. Once I accept my valuation, no need to prove myself.
She was finally cured and started a support group for ms. She found her breakthru and was slowly recovering. She started a new life. She was using her voice and asking for what she wanted, and she was finding that she had the power not only to ask but also to receive.
Father, tot of me. First tot was why still has pain, infact worsen. Then another tot came. After the clearing and knowing God loves me, my pain has lessen and infact yday and this mornin, suria was effortless.
One part of me no longer wants an easy effortless life of just eating, sleeping and watching tv. I prefer my days of meditation, working and a little tv. Father, let me slow down. I am gulping too fast again. Guess, again I wonder what's next. Would there be a calling for me. Would I be encountering my love life. Mmm, perhaps this just the mind. Besides, m taking the counseling course in mid Oct and there is guru pooja in mid Sept.
Connecting to the Universe (4)
Aug 10
A New Earth
It is through knowing who you are not, that the greatest obstacle to truly knowing yourself is removed.
If the thought of lack - be it money, recognition or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack
Acknowledge the good that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance
Soul
Yeap, m well loved. This morning, jus doing suria, I was already connected. Amen.
Also, my RA and fat arm affirmation. Life is good, I am well loved.
Aug 10 Even
Father, I did watch d korean drama. But somehow not as good as I tot. Reason being, there were too much drama and I am not the type to do so.
It was a good trip to the hill. Surprisingly we all enjoyed ourselves. I open up my hatha yoga to them, they can see the joy it brought to me and also how nimble my body has become.
They now realised why I am disciplined on my practices. I am glad to go back to my schedule.
Somehow, I didn't enjoy the food outing as much as I tot I would. The food was fine, but not so joyful. I miss my practices. I am glad I did abridged hatha and suria for the 2 days. Really good. The energy there was strong too.
A New Earth
It is through knowing who you are not, that the greatest obstacle to truly knowing yourself is removed.
If the thought of lack - be it money, recognition or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack
Acknowledge the good that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance
Soul
Yeap, m well loved. This morning, jus doing suria, I was already connected. Amen.
Also, my RA and fat arm affirmation. Life is good, I am well loved.
Aug 10 Even
Father, I did watch d korean drama. But somehow not as good as I tot. Reason being, there were too much drama and I am not the type to do so.
It was a good trip to the hill. Surprisingly we all enjoyed ourselves. I open up my hatha yoga to them, they can see the joy it brought to me and also how nimble my body has become.
They now realised why I am disciplined on my practices. I am glad to go back to my schedule.
Somehow, I didn't enjoy the food outing as much as I tot I would. The food was fine, but not so joyful. I miss my practices. I am glad I did abridged hatha and suria for the 2 days. Really good. The energy there was strong too.
Connecting to the Universe (4)
Aug 10
A New Earth
It is through knowing who you are not, that the greatest obstacle to truly knowing yourself is removed.
If the thought of lack - be it money, recognition or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack
Acknowledge the good that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance
Soul
Yeap, m well loved. This morning, jus doing suria, I was already connected. Amen.
Also, my RA and fat arm affirmation. Life is good, I am well loved.
A New Earth
It is through knowing who you are not, that the greatest obstacle to truly knowing yourself is removed.
If the thought of lack - be it money, recognition or love - has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack
Acknowledge the good that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance
Soul
Yeap, m well loved. This morning, jus doing suria, I was already connected. Amen.
Also, my RA and fat arm affirmation. Life is good, I am well loved.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Connecting to the Universe (3)
Aug 9 Evening
Osho - Nanak
Whenever a person progresses in meditation, he moves towards happiness and song. The closer he approaches the door of his abode, the more pronounced, the celebration becomes.
Soul
I am experiencing this daily.
(Aug 27 - when I first started, it was laughter, then I progress to singing and then its dancing and now its acrobatic movements)
Osho - nanak
Illness means ur connection with nature is broken. Suffering means ur connection is broken. When the body conducts itself against the principles of nature, illness results; when it flows along with nature, there is health and well-being.
When the mind follows paths away from God, suffering is the result. When the soul moves in the footsteps of God, when it flows with the universal principle, there is bliss.
There is a way to know His wish, but not through the medium of tots. The way unfolds as u drown in his melody, as ur ego disintegrates, as u r immersed in meditation and samadhi. At once, his voice becomes audible. As the ego abates and the tumult of tot dies out, u will be able to hear his voice. He is forever calling; his voice has never left u.
An inner self lies within u. It is tuned to God, tuned to the order in the universe. In that sense, it knows what is right. But it only speaks to u when all other voices inside have been stilled.
Meditation leads u up to ur Inner Self, which then joins u to God. It is the cord that keeps u connected with God, telling u at each moment what u shld do and what u shld not do.
When u begin to hear the voice of consciousness, remain within its field. Then sorrow cannot touch u and life become one long downpour of festivity and celebration.
Osho - Nanak
Whenever a person progresses in meditation, he moves towards happiness and song. The closer he approaches the door of his abode, the more pronounced, the celebration becomes.
Soul
I am experiencing this daily.
(Aug 27 - when I first started, it was laughter, then I progress to singing and then its dancing and now its acrobatic movements)
Osho - nanak
Illness means ur connection with nature is broken. Suffering means ur connection is broken. When the body conducts itself against the principles of nature, illness results; when it flows along with nature, there is health and well-being.
When the mind follows paths away from God, suffering is the result. When the soul moves in the footsteps of God, when it flows with the universal principle, there is bliss.
There is a way to know His wish, but not through the medium of tots. The way unfolds as u drown in his melody, as ur ego disintegrates, as u r immersed in meditation and samadhi. At once, his voice becomes audible. As the ego abates and the tumult of tot dies out, u will be able to hear his voice. He is forever calling; his voice has never left u.
An inner self lies within u. It is tuned to God, tuned to the order in the universe. In that sense, it knows what is right. But it only speaks to u when all other voices inside have been stilled.
Meditation leads u up to ur Inner Self, which then joins u to God. It is the cord that keeps u connected with God, telling u at each moment what u shld do and what u shld not do.
When u begin to hear the voice of consciousness, remain within its field. Then sorrow cannot touch u and life become one long downpour of festivity and celebration.
Unlimited energy manifest whatever you wish
Aug 9
Father, today I open up to my friends on my yoga practices and my expression when I am connected.
Surprisingly, my friend, whom I have given up on, since she is Jack of Heart asked for input on 7thunder cards. Hers is a year of transformation.
Osho - Nanak
With our limited energy, there is a distance between our feelings and our actions. If today, the desire arises in u to build a house, the house will come into being in two years. This is because our energy is limited.
If ur energy were total, as abundant as that of God, then there would be no gap between the wish and the action. For Him, time does not exist. Whatever he wills or thinks, or feels, so it happens, and at that very instant, without a moment's hesitation.
The willing and the happening are simultaneous. His desire is the act. He who knows this is himself the truth.
"Whatever He feels - so it happens;
Whoever knows this, he himself is truth.
Soul
Law of Attraction and Energy for creation.
(Aug 27 - I am slowly but surely knowing this. For years, I was reaping its benefits. Even my close friends told me that I seem to get whatever I want. I never realised it then and tot my life is challenging. Now I know I do get what I want..the question is how much I want it.
Now I wished for a very good bed with good discount and here I got one. I wished for an investment plan that is short term, it came. I wish for a 3 or 4 days work, it came. I now wish to be a high paid published author and well known counselor so I can retire at 45. Everything I do, the end target will be 45. My plan is to 'leave the corporate world' at 45.
I want joy and I got joy.)
Osho - Nanak
My guru sings only when he receives, when he is so filled with the emotion of God from the grace he received from above, when his throat is full, when waves of ecstasy arise in his heart. When he is flooded with his grace, he sings, he flows, he bursts into song. Singing is like his shadow to him.
Soul
I too sing whenever I am filled with grace. Of course, I laughed and dance too. Amen
Osho - Nanak
The realities of life can only be known actively; u must enter into these realities. Just to see a person swimming, how can u enjoy the pleasure. If seeing gives u so much pleasure, how infinitely joyful must be the act of being and doing.
Soul
I tot of me watching the korean romantic drama. Just a viewer enjoying the show. Not sure how is it to experience it. Wonder whether it be as joyful.
Osho - Nanak
When a person is filled with joy, he is filled with song. Joy and song are so close.
Truly music is his door, for within resides the supreme bliss. Ultimately the music stops, for it is only a door. Once u pass through it, the music stop. A moment comes when ur music becomes a hindrance. Then only his music sounds. Infinite melodies play within u, but u have no music of ur own; u r like an empty house.
Soul
I am experiencing joy daily. I am joyful when I swim, when I sleep, when I meditate, whenever I am alone..I just feel joyful
Father, today I open up to my friends on my yoga practices and my expression when I am connected.
Surprisingly, my friend, whom I have given up on, since she is Jack of Heart asked for input on 7thunder cards. Hers is a year of transformation.
Osho - Nanak
With our limited energy, there is a distance between our feelings and our actions. If today, the desire arises in u to build a house, the house will come into being in two years. This is because our energy is limited.
If ur energy were total, as abundant as that of God, then there would be no gap between the wish and the action. For Him, time does not exist. Whatever he wills or thinks, or feels, so it happens, and at that very instant, without a moment's hesitation.
The willing and the happening are simultaneous. His desire is the act. He who knows this is himself the truth.
"Whatever He feels - so it happens;
Whoever knows this, he himself is truth.
Soul
Law of Attraction and Energy for creation.
(Aug 27 - I am slowly but surely knowing this. For years, I was reaping its benefits. Even my close friends told me that I seem to get whatever I want. I never realised it then and tot my life is challenging. Now I know I do get what I want..the question is how much I want it.
Now I wished for a very good bed with good discount and here I got one. I wished for an investment plan that is short term, it came. I wish for a 3 or 4 days work, it came. I now wish to be a high paid published author and well known counselor so I can retire at 45. Everything I do, the end target will be 45. My plan is to 'leave the corporate world' at 45.
I want joy and I got joy.)
Osho - Nanak
My guru sings only when he receives, when he is so filled with the emotion of God from the grace he received from above, when his throat is full, when waves of ecstasy arise in his heart. When he is flooded with his grace, he sings, he flows, he bursts into song. Singing is like his shadow to him.
Soul
I too sing whenever I am filled with grace. Of course, I laughed and dance too. Amen
Osho - Nanak
The realities of life can only be known actively; u must enter into these realities. Just to see a person swimming, how can u enjoy the pleasure. If seeing gives u so much pleasure, how infinitely joyful must be the act of being and doing.
Soul
I tot of me watching the korean romantic drama. Just a viewer enjoying the show. Not sure how is it to experience it. Wonder whether it be as joyful.
Osho - Nanak
When a person is filled with joy, he is filled with song. Joy and song are so close.
Truly music is his door, for within resides the supreme bliss. Ultimately the music stops, for it is only a door. Once u pass through it, the music stop. A moment comes when ur music becomes a hindrance. Then only his music sounds. Infinite melodies play within u, but u have no music of ur own; u r like an empty house.
Soul
I am experiencing joy daily. I am joyful when I swim, when I sleep, when I meditate, whenever I am alone..I just feel joyful
Willingness is all it takes to transform
Aug 7
Radical Forgiveness
Observe ur strong need to be right. We possess an enormous investment in being right, which usually means proving that someone else is wrong.
We even measure our self-worth by how often we are right; thus it is no wonder that we have such trouble accepting that something just is - that it is inherently neither right nor wrong.
If u really cannot drop ur judgement about something that seems awful, just reconnect with your feelings, move into them and admit to urself that u cannot yet take this step.
Still be willing to drop ur judgement. Willingness always remains the key. It creates the energetic imprint of Radical Forgiveness. As energy shifts, all else follows.
Releasing emotions and their corresponding tots serves an important role in the forgiveness process. As long as those tots remain operative, they continue to lend energy to our old belief system, which created the reality we are now trying to transform.
Integrating the Shift
I completely forgive myself, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative being. I release all need to hold on to emotions and ideas of lack and limitation connected to the past. I withdraw my energy from the past and release all barriers against the love and abundance I know I have in this moment.
I create my life and I empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my power and magnificence.
Evening
Father, for the past 2 years, I let go of control and ate loads and sleep loads. I was eating double of my normal portions, eating everything that caught my fancy. I was taking 3 hours nap without hesitation. I slept like a babe.
Now, eating habits has normalised and sleeping has normalised. All these without any control from me. Ironic.
Osho - Nanak
God is priceless, everything of him is priceless. There is no way to evaluate, no scale to weigh him, nor yardstick to measure him. There is no way in which we can surmise how much he is, what he is, how far he extends.
Soul
When I first realised my valuation mode of measuring my lovability, I came out with "I am valueless, but I am priceless". I told myself, I am beyond price, beyond valuation.
Radical Forgiveness
Observe ur strong need to be right. We possess an enormous investment in being right, which usually means proving that someone else is wrong.
We even measure our self-worth by how often we are right; thus it is no wonder that we have such trouble accepting that something just is - that it is inherently neither right nor wrong.
If u really cannot drop ur judgement about something that seems awful, just reconnect with your feelings, move into them and admit to urself that u cannot yet take this step.
Still be willing to drop ur judgement. Willingness always remains the key. It creates the energetic imprint of Radical Forgiveness. As energy shifts, all else follows.
Releasing emotions and their corresponding tots serves an important role in the forgiveness process. As long as those tots remain operative, they continue to lend energy to our old belief system, which created the reality we are now trying to transform.
Integrating the Shift
I completely forgive myself, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative being. I release all need to hold on to emotions and ideas of lack and limitation connected to the past. I withdraw my energy from the past and release all barriers against the love and abundance I know I have in this moment.
I create my life and I empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my power and magnificence.
Evening
Father, for the past 2 years, I let go of control and ate loads and sleep loads. I was eating double of my normal portions, eating everything that caught my fancy. I was taking 3 hours nap without hesitation. I slept like a babe.
Now, eating habits has normalised and sleeping has normalised. All these without any control from me. Ironic.
Osho - Nanak
God is priceless, everything of him is priceless. There is no way to evaluate, no scale to weigh him, nor yardstick to measure him. There is no way in which we can surmise how much he is, what he is, how far he extends.
Soul
When I first realised my valuation mode of measuring my lovability, I came out with "I am valueless, but I am priceless". I told myself, I am beyond price, beyond valuation.
You wil get whatever that you are prepared for...be it suffering or happiness
Aug 6 Even
Father, glad I did the client report on time. Of cos, now ego saying one of d campaign may not be right. Perhaps not 100 percent then. Never mind.
This evening meditation, I know I went in deep like yday evening. Guess I was tired and easier to fell in. To my surprise, I was laughing so much. It has been awhile since I laughed so much.
Osho - Nanak
Even God cannot give u what u r not ready to take. If u r ready for suffering, u get suffering; if u r ready for happiness, u get happiness - u get only that for which u r prepared.
And u receive it only through his grace, whereas u attain through ur own effort.
His Grace is forever showering on all but u r filled only when u r ready and eager to be filled.
Soul
Yeap.
Father, glad I did the client report on time. Of cos, now ego saying one of d campaign may not be right. Perhaps not 100 percent then. Never mind.
This evening meditation, I know I went in deep like yday evening. Guess I was tired and easier to fell in. To my surprise, I was laughing so much. It has been awhile since I laughed so much.
Osho - Nanak
Even God cannot give u what u r not ready to take. If u r ready for suffering, u get suffering; if u r ready for happiness, u get happiness - u get only that for which u r prepared.
And u receive it only through his grace, whereas u attain through ur own effort.
His Grace is forever showering on all but u r filled only when u r ready and eager to be filled.
Soul
Yeap.
Accept and feel my emotion
Aug 6
Father, thank U for everything.
This mornin, suria was easy and fine. The pain on my right elbow nearly gone.
I have finished and throw away the perfume given by the conman. It is over, I paid my due for Past Life. And I also have received the grace of meditation from Past Life. Amen.
Yday lunch with CEO, her inner wanted to go, outer cannot. That's why her resentment and guilt. Father, help her to go, the way U help her ex-PA.
Radical Forgiveness
Now you will understand that any time anyone upsets you or triggers negative emotion in u, its an opportunity to grow.
Don't get stuck in the drama. Use the Forgiveness Worksheet.
Soul
Yeap. Have been doing it for years since ACIM.
Suddenly tot of my own 5 step process
1. Anger
2. Hurt
3. Guilt
4. Fear
5. Love.
Radical Forgiveness.
It is vitally important that u allow urself to feel ur feelings. Do not censor them or "stuff" them.
Remember we came into the physical realm to experience emotion - the essence of being human. All emotions are good, except when we suppress them. Stuffing emotion creates potentially harmful energy blocks in our bodies.
Soul
I don't wan to hide that I prefer CEO to be gone. She sap my energy, even when she is fine with me.
Tot of yday my attraction to a colleague. When we were sitting together, I noticed my body shift to his side. I acknowledge the attraction but don't have to act on it. And don't have to suppress it either. Just let the feeling flow, no action required.
Yday meditation, I asked Father to help to open my heart. I am ready to open up. My abundance love for myself is enough to protect me from my fear of loss.
Radical Forgivenes
No matter what your emotions are, u need to feel ur emotions in exactly the way they occur for u, for they are an expression of ur true self. Your soul wants u to feel them truly. Know they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.
Soul
I am learning to experience my feeling.
Radical Forgiveness
1. Feel the feeling fully and then identify it as either mad, glad, sad or afraid.
2. Embrace the feelings in ur heart just the way they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of urself. Let them be perfect.
You cannot move into the joy vibration without first accepting your feelings and making peace with them.
Say this affirmation;
"I ask for support in feeling love for each of my emotions just the way it is, as I embrace it within my heart and accept it lovingly as part of urself.
3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and know u have chosen to feel them as a way of moving your energy towards healing.
4. I own my feelings. No one can make feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.
As we recognise, accept and love our emotions unconditionally as part of ourselves, we become entirely free to hold on to them or let them go.
5. My discomfort was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and the other person by judging, holding expectations, wanting the other person to change and seeing the other person as less than perfect.
Remember there are no villains or victims, just players. Each person in the situation is getting exactly what he or she wants. Everyone is engaged in a healing dance.
Soul
I accept I was alone becos I don't allow anyone to come near me. I tot they would reduce my well of love either by hurting me or taking time away from me.
Tot of CEO, offering me a chance to recognised I deserved loving persons in the office. Perhaps, I needed such extreme boss to push me to feel. Well, I felt it and I m moving her out. And inwardly she wants out too. She is creating such feeling of nastiness in all of us, that we want to push her out. She cannot quit on her own, so her Soul created a situation to push her out. Father, we both have goal congruence.
Same lesson for GM, she also deserved loving persons. Just becos both of us can endure, doesn't mean we want to as it is taking toll on our body.
(Aug 27 - to my surprise, she is my ally instead. We r truly Jupiter to each other. And I am using our Mars connection to work with her, rather than to avoid her. And the amazingly, she actually flowered, infact much more longer than it took me.)
Father, thank U for everything.
This mornin, suria was easy and fine. The pain on my right elbow nearly gone.
I have finished and throw away the perfume given by the conman. It is over, I paid my due for Past Life. And I also have received the grace of meditation from Past Life. Amen.
Yday lunch with CEO, her inner wanted to go, outer cannot. That's why her resentment and guilt. Father, help her to go, the way U help her ex-PA.
Radical Forgiveness
Now you will understand that any time anyone upsets you or triggers negative emotion in u, its an opportunity to grow.
Don't get stuck in the drama. Use the Forgiveness Worksheet.
Soul
Yeap. Have been doing it for years since ACIM.
Suddenly tot of my own 5 step process
1. Anger
2. Hurt
3. Guilt
4. Fear
5. Love.
Radical Forgiveness.
It is vitally important that u allow urself to feel ur feelings. Do not censor them or "stuff" them.
Remember we came into the physical realm to experience emotion - the essence of being human. All emotions are good, except when we suppress them. Stuffing emotion creates potentially harmful energy blocks in our bodies.
Soul
I don't wan to hide that I prefer CEO to be gone. She sap my energy, even when she is fine with me.
Tot of yday my attraction to a colleague. When we were sitting together, I noticed my body shift to his side. I acknowledge the attraction but don't have to act on it. And don't have to suppress it either. Just let the feeling flow, no action required.
Yday meditation, I asked Father to help to open my heart. I am ready to open up. My abundance love for myself is enough to protect me from my fear of loss.
Radical Forgivenes
No matter what your emotions are, u need to feel ur emotions in exactly the way they occur for u, for they are an expression of ur true self. Your soul wants u to feel them truly. Know they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.
Soul
I am learning to experience my feeling.
Radical Forgiveness
1. Feel the feeling fully and then identify it as either mad, glad, sad or afraid.
2. Embrace the feelings in ur heart just the way they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of urself. Let them be perfect.
You cannot move into the joy vibration without first accepting your feelings and making peace with them.
Say this affirmation;
"I ask for support in feeling love for each of my emotions just the way it is, as I embrace it within my heart and accept it lovingly as part of urself.
3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and know u have chosen to feel them as a way of moving your energy towards healing.
4. I own my feelings. No one can make feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.
As we recognise, accept and love our emotions unconditionally as part of ourselves, we become entirely free to hold on to them or let them go.
5. My discomfort was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and the other person by judging, holding expectations, wanting the other person to change and seeing the other person as less than perfect.
Remember there are no villains or victims, just players. Each person in the situation is getting exactly what he or she wants. Everyone is engaged in a healing dance.
Soul
I accept I was alone becos I don't allow anyone to come near me. I tot they would reduce my well of love either by hurting me or taking time away from me.
Tot of CEO, offering me a chance to recognised I deserved loving persons in the office. Perhaps, I needed such extreme boss to push me to feel. Well, I felt it and I m moving her out. And inwardly she wants out too. She is creating such feeling of nastiness in all of us, that we want to push her out. She cannot quit on her own, so her Soul created a situation to push her out. Father, we both have goal congruence.
Same lesson for GM, she also deserved loving persons. Just becos both of us can endure, doesn't mean we want to as it is taking toll on our body.
(Aug 27 - to my surprise, she is my ally instead. We r truly Jupiter to each other. And I am using our Mars connection to work with her, rather than to avoid her. And the amazingly, she actually flowered, infact much more longer than it took me.)
Connecting to the Universe (2)
Aug 5
Father, today did extra 10 min, ended 6.50 am. I still have to shower and wash hair, surprisingly traffic was so smooth.
Evening
Did my practice. Today, just don't wan to sing. I just want to go into silence immediately. Just did Shoonya and Shakti. After Shakti, I was in deep, didn't want to come out. Such peace. Amen.
Father, talking to CEO, detailing that she is tired and want time for herself but need money first. Alas, she is just like the PA. They want to leave but can't do on their own. So, will need others to 'kick' them out. GM has initiated. Will see. Perhaps both GM and CEO will be gone. Cos both also is death cards.
Osho - Nanak
When this rememberance of Him begins to crystallise in u, u will also have cast the mold of this key inside. You become the key and u urself open His gate.
Man can find himself in the state of tots or in the state of no tots.
As long as u r united with ur tots, u r one with the world; as soon as ur mind is freed of all tots, u r one with God. No sooner are u empty, than the door opens.
Father, today did extra 10 min, ended 6.50 am. I still have to shower and wash hair, surprisingly traffic was so smooth.
Evening
Did my practice. Today, just don't wan to sing. I just want to go into silence immediately. Just did Shoonya and Shakti. After Shakti, I was in deep, didn't want to come out. Such peace. Amen.
Father, talking to CEO, detailing that she is tired and want time for herself but need money first. Alas, she is just like the PA. They want to leave but can't do on their own. So, will need others to 'kick' them out. GM has initiated. Will see. Perhaps both GM and CEO will be gone. Cos both also is death cards.
Osho - Nanak
When this rememberance of Him begins to crystallise in u, u will also have cast the mold of this key inside. You become the key and u urself open His gate.
Man can find himself in the state of tots or in the state of no tots.
As long as u r united with ur tots, u r one with the world; as soon as ur mind is freed of all tots, u r one with God. No sooner are u empty, than the door opens.
Let your creativity flow
Aug 4 even
Checked for the GM card. Planetary ruling is all LR, P and Res and Saturn is all 9 cards and Uranus and Neptune is 5.
Basically is ending.
Her birth card is Queen of Diamond. (Aug 28 - now I think is me playing a role here)
I recalled book says birth more important. But m not sure.
When I was meditating, a tot came Birth is Inner and Planetary is Outer. So, what we know is Outer, but behind the scene is inner, especially when we have not connected yet.
Osho
Man's mind always searches out empty places. He is blind towards all the filled places, but has eyes for all that is empty.
Have u ever taken account of all u possess? Unless u do, u will never become aware of God's gifts, they are infinite.
Checked for the GM card. Planetary ruling is all LR, P and Res and Saturn is all 9 cards and Uranus and Neptune is 5.
Basically is ending.
Her birth card is Queen of Diamond. (Aug 28 - now I think is me playing a role here)
I recalled book says birth more important. But m not sure.
When I was meditating, a tot came Birth is Inner and Planetary is Outer. So, what we know is Outer, but behind the scene is inner, especially when we have not connected yet.
Osho
Man's mind always searches out empty places. He is blind towards all the filled places, but has eyes for all that is empty.
Have u ever taken account of all u possess? Unless u do, u will never become aware of God's gifts, they are infinite.
Just accept where you are - go with the flow
Aug 4
Father, my practices was shorter. Think was d breathing meditation stopping too early. I was feeling restless. But suria namaskara was fine. First 2 cycle, the elbow was painful but the rest manageable.
Tot of d mail from the 2 gals. Now that I have expressed my envious feeling, I can now think objectively and come up with alternative recommendation for Creative. Earlier I tot ECD would re-do the orgn chart, but instead he left it status quo. So, I will take charge. Besides, me and CEO is a team and we do have MARS energy that can be used constructively by working together.
Also, now that I know my triggering points is as light as hers, I can't judge her anymore. Amen.
Regardless of outcome, at least I have courage to share my tot. Apart frm my envious feeling, swallowing the appointment of the 2 persons really leave a bitter taste in me. Earlier I tot I keep quiet since I am the only one disagreeing to it. Also, didn't want to trigger CEO since our war just ended last Monday after 1.5 mths of raging at me. I didn't want to jeopardise. The truth is for me to work with her instead of being afraid and then resenting it.
Now can see the Osho cards happening.
I am happy becos of my Insight for Creative. Father, in the end, I am most happy when I got Insights, either in office or personal.
As for P, S and WY, I am glad P finally saw the mirror in S and S finally knows his areas of improvement and how he affect others. I enjoying and felt delightful. I guess that's my creativity at work. Its done for its own sake, without tot of reward or recognition.
Going with the flow. Just let my creativity out. If not accepted, m fine, but I have says my point. Frankly I am already delighted by my idea. Whether they agree or not is beyond my control and it doesn't matter much cos it doesn't affect me personally.
Father, my practices was shorter. Think was d breathing meditation stopping too early. I was feeling restless. But suria namaskara was fine. First 2 cycle, the elbow was painful but the rest manageable.
Tot of d mail from the 2 gals. Now that I have expressed my envious feeling, I can now think objectively and come up with alternative recommendation for Creative. Earlier I tot ECD would re-do the orgn chart, but instead he left it status quo. So, I will take charge. Besides, me and CEO is a team and we do have MARS energy that can be used constructively by working together.
Also, now that I know my triggering points is as light as hers, I can't judge her anymore. Amen.
Regardless of outcome, at least I have courage to share my tot. Apart frm my envious feeling, swallowing the appointment of the 2 persons really leave a bitter taste in me. Earlier I tot I keep quiet since I am the only one disagreeing to it. Also, didn't want to trigger CEO since our war just ended last Monday after 1.5 mths of raging at me. I didn't want to jeopardise. The truth is for me to work with her instead of being afraid and then resenting it.
Now can see the Osho cards happening.
I am happy becos of my Insight for Creative. Father, in the end, I am most happy when I got Insights, either in office or personal.
As for P, S and WY, I am glad P finally saw the mirror in S and S finally knows his areas of improvement and how he affect others. I enjoying and felt delightful. I guess that's my creativity at work. Its done for its own sake, without tot of reward or recognition.
Going with the flow. Just let my creativity out. If not accepted, m fine, but I have says my point. Frankly I am already delighted by my idea. Whether they agree or not is beyond my control and it doesn't matter much cos it doesn't affect me personally.
With presence, negativity becomes a helpful wake up call (2)
Aug 3 Even
This evening received an email offer from 2 candidates asking for sky high demands. Amazingly their 2 bosses says ok. I was angry. At first I tot it was becos I have to say yes to something I don't believe in. But when I arrive home, I still have tots of d mail. So, I know it has to be more and I asked for help.
Later, when I was meditating, I realised it feeling of envy. I who never make any demand and just says or perhaps didn't say the right things got scolded and here the asking for sky high demand, they were not scolded and better still demands granted.
Father, my unlovability has risen to the surface. I am so easily triggered. How empty my well of love is vs others. Loads of tear as feeling of unlovability comes in waves and then followed by loads of laughter. I told Him that I know He loves me.
I am fine now as I remembered I am loved by Him. I judged CEO for being so easily triggered. I am also. Nevermind, need to experience before I can transcend. Amen.
My wrist hasn't really recover and now my elbow has slight pain too. Due to the pain, m not looking forward to the suria namaskara. But I know d pain will on be for 2 cycles, after that I be fine. Tot of the socso payout again. Is this really end of my career?? Father, guide me. I am afraid.
(Aug 27 - after discovering my envious issue, the resentment died down. Infact, when I called up the candidates, I told them that I am envious of them, never dare nor have the opportunity to issue such demands. Then I found out, they really having a bad deal at current place and hence just asking for bit more. And they are truly nice gals. No wonder K didnt react to the email cos he knows them.)
Osho - Nanak
Fools always think themselves great; wise men are aware of their smallness.
As understanding increases the feeling of being too small, too insignificant, parallels the sense of His vastness and all pervading presence.
This evening received an email offer from 2 candidates asking for sky high demands. Amazingly their 2 bosses says ok. I was angry. At first I tot it was becos I have to say yes to something I don't believe in. But when I arrive home, I still have tots of d mail. So, I know it has to be more and I asked for help.
Later, when I was meditating, I realised it feeling of envy. I who never make any demand and just says or perhaps didn't say the right things got scolded and here the asking for sky high demand, they were not scolded and better still demands granted.
Father, my unlovability has risen to the surface. I am so easily triggered. How empty my well of love is vs others. Loads of tear as feeling of unlovability comes in waves and then followed by loads of laughter. I told Him that I know He loves me.
I am fine now as I remembered I am loved by Him. I judged CEO for being so easily triggered. I am also. Nevermind, need to experience before I can transcend. Amen.
My wrist hasn't really recover and now my elbow has slight pain too. Due to the pain, m not looking forward to the suria namaskara. But I know d pain will on be for 2 cycles, after that I be fine. Tot of the socso payout again. Is this really end of my career?? Father, guide me. I am afraid.
(Aug 27 - after discovering my envious issue, the resentment died down. Infact, when I called up the candidates, I told them that I am envious of them, never dare nor have the opportunity to issue such demands. Then I found out, they really having a bad deal at current place and hence just asking for bit more. And they are truly nice gals. No wonder K didnt react to the email cos he knows them.)
Osho - Nanak
Fools always think themselves great; wise men are aware of their smallness.
As understanding increases the feeling of being too small, too insignificant, parallels the sense of His vastness and all pervading presence.
Be valueless..and stay priceless
Aug 3
Osho
1. Issue - Celebration
Don't be too wise. Your cleverness is your disease. Always remember to stop. Don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a buddha.
Celebration never depend on outside circumstances. True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within and spills over into an overflow of song, dance and laughter and yes, even tears of gratitude.
You are becoming more and more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life.
Soul
Yday, amazingly, CEO was back to her normal cordial and direct style. She keep on asking abt GM, I gave my input. I was open, and she asked abt her card. I told her abt the Beginning and Money and real estate. Didn't share abt her karma card. Didn't tell her abt her long range Ace of Spade - death card. Yday checked her King of Diamond planetary ruling - she got 2 Aces for Pluto and Result - Heart and Club.
She and I, hers 3 Aces and me, 4 Sixes.
Father, let me be happy lah.
Yday, she says our rship is open, we argued but we touch up again. She like that. Mmm, here I tot its becos she didn't think m valuable and hence dare to scold me. Alas, its she not able to control herself due to valuation mode.
(Aug 27 - Our rship developed further still. Its amazing, she has awaken up. It is really true, the higher your ego, which is only energy but focused negatively), the higher would be your spirituality, when you change direction towards positivity. Her transformation is beyond me, while its true, I help, but I am only a catalyst, she makes the change of direction herself, and her inherent high energy propel her forward. So, all 7 is truly spiritual. Amen, thanks for letting me see this.)
2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see - Compromise
Don't be clever, otherwise, u will remain the same, u will not change.
Whenever we compromise our truth, it always leave a bad taste in our mouth. Its usually because we are trying to gain something - whether it is power or the approval of others.
Soul
Tot of d 8 of Club guy...with what I know of D, don't want to touch. Also, he is not rich like KJ. But surprisingly, whenever I meditate, tot of him do come.
Second tot, perhaps I tot of 8 of Club because I am afraid of being lonely.
Mmm, perhaps both also not real :)
3. External - Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality.
Look at ur own reflection and make a move to break out of ur conditioning.
Soul
Tot of my valuation mode. Still heavily ingrained but at least I am aware. I want to be just who I am. I don't want to prove myself worthy of anyone or anything. I just wan to be.
4. What is needed for resolution.
Ordinariness
You can live an extraordinary life in a very ordinary life. You can be perfectly at ease - because the question is of you doing your action totally, enjoying, delighting it.
You are now facing a time when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results rather than any attempt on your part to be brilliant, clever, or otherwise extraordinary. Forget about new invention or dazzling others.
The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
So apt, that's my approach. Not easy cos whenever reduced valuation arise, I want to go back.
One step at a time.
5. The Understanding
Going with the Flow
Water flow without ambition, it always move towards the depth, searches for the lowest ground. Water does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional, extraordinary. It has no ego idea.
Ambition means going uphill.
Every moment, we have a choice whether to enter life's waters and float, or to try swim upstream.
Float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Everything is happening exactly as it should.
Soul
This give me the motivation to stay with the uncomfortable feeling of not being lovable.
Osho
1. Issue - Celebration
Don't be too wise. Your cleverness is your disease. Always remember to stop. Don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a buddha.
Celebration never depend on outside circumstances. True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within and spills over into an overflow of song, dance and laughter and yes, even tears of gratitude.
You are becoming more and more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life.
Soul
Yday, amazingly, CEO was back to her normal cordial and direct style. She keep on asking abt GM, I gave my input. I was open, and she asked abt her card. I told her abt the Beginning and Money and real estate. Didn't share abt her karma card. Didn't tell her abt her long range Ace of Spade - death card. Yday checked her King of Diamond planetary ruling - she got 2 Aces for Pluto and Result - Heart and Club.
She and I, hers 3 Aces and me, 4 Sixes.
Father, let me be happy lah.
Yday, she says our rship is open, we argued but we touch up again. She like that. Mmm, here I tot its becos she didn't think m valuable and hence dare to scold me. Alas, its she not able to control herself due to valuation mode.
(Aug 27 - Our rship developed further still. Its amazing, she has awaken up. It is really true, the higher your ego, which is only energy but focused negatively), the higher would be your spirituality, when you change direction towards positivity. Her transformation is beyond me, while its true, I help, but I am only a catalyst, she makes the change of direction herself, and her inherent high energy propel her forward. So, all 7 is truly spiritual. Amen, thanks for letting me see this.)
2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see - Compromise
Don't be clever, otherwise, u will remain the same, u will not change.
Whenever we compromise our truth, it always leave a bad taste in our mouth. Its usually because we are trying to gain something - whether it is power or the approval of others.
Soul
Tot of d 8 of Club guy...with what I know of D, don't want to touch. Also, he is not rich like KJ. But surprisingly, whenever I meditate, tot of him do come.
Second tot, perhaps I tot of 8 of Club because I am afraid of being lonely.
Mmm, perhaps both also not real :)
3. External - Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality.
Look at ur own reflection and make a move to break out of ur conditioning.
Soul
Tot of my valuation mode. Still heavily ingrained but at least I am aware. I want to be just who I am. I don't want to prove myself worthy of anyone or anything. I just wan to be.
4. What is needed for resolution.
Ordinariness
You can live an extraordinary life in a very ordinary life. You can be perfectly at ease - because the question is of you doing your action totally, enjoying, delighting it.
You are now facing a time when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results rather than any attempt on your part to be brilliant, clever, or otherwise extraordinary. Forget about new invention or dazzling others.
The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
So apt, that's my approach. Not easy cos whenever reduced valuation arise, I want to go back.
One step at a time.
5. The Understanding
Going with the Flow
Water flow without ambition, it always move towards the depth, searches for the lowest ground. Water does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional, extraordinary. It has no ego idea.
Ambition means going uphill.
Every moment, we have a choice whether to enter life's waters and float, or to try swim upstream.
Float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Everything is happening exactly as it should.
Soul
This give me the motivation to stay with the uncomfortable feeling of not being lovable.
Connecting to the Universe
Aug 2 Even
Father, at first was worried that I couldn't do the holiday. Then a tot came. They not looking for recon, they are looking at cost per campaign. So far we hardly do campaign. What we can do is to select sample and put the completion % and add on % to complete.
So, I know can complete in time.
Osho - Nanak
When u meet the flower - when their fragrances and ur very existence are intermingled - u r lost in each other, u r one. Oh, the bliss. This is the moment when ur being and that of the flowers dance together, sway in the breeze.
Soul - I experienced it. I dance with the flower during BSP.
(Aug 27 - And now i dance with the water in the pool. At night before sleep, i dance with the air that I breathe.)
Osho - Nanak
Let life go on outside as usual, but within let there be only He. Keep your rship with him always fresh and alive.
Once remembrance is found, everything is in order. Nurture his remembrance. Now and then touch it inside to be sure it is there. While walking, stop and look. While eating, stop and check; close your eyes and watch if the remembrance is flowing. Gradually the experience will go deeper and deeper. Then the flow of remembrance continues in your sleep too.
When it flows all 24 hours, u will have made the bridge between urself and Him. Now u can close ur eyes and merge into him whenever u please. The road is now made; the instant u close ur eyes, u r lost in Him. And when u return to the world from ur meeting with Him, u will be refreshed, filled with absolute energy, as fresh and light as if u have just had a bath.
Soul
I have experienced this daily. These days whenever I close my eyes, I am lost in Existence. No wonder, I laugh myself to sleep. I felt so refreshed after shoonya.
Osho - Nanak
Even if u r lowly ant, it does not matter; only let his remembrance forever be. Do not indulge in the madness of acquiring vast kingdoms, because it always happens that the more u r engaged in piling up outside wealth, the more u forget Him.
If u remember Him, all outside wealth will be as dust to u, then the world's honour and fame will be of no consequence.
Soul
Same msg, forget abt gaining my valuation, remember m priceless.
Osho - Nanak
Whatever u gather in the world holds significance and value for u as long as ur understanding or remembrance of Him has not awakened. As soon as remembrance awakens in u, u become mature. By its light, u come to know all u hold precious was mere rubble. U wonder why in heaven u went after it, why u were so mad abt it. What have u attained by gaining this.
Suddenly it all become meaningless and worthless in ur eyes. Life is transformed the moment u r awakened. Your old personality dies and a new one is born.
All that is required is to keep remembering.
Soul
Continue meditating. Amen.
Father, at first was worried that I couldn't do the holiday. Then a tot came. They not looking for recon, they are looking at cost per campaign. So far we hardly do campaign. What we can do is to select sample and put the completion % and add on % to complete.
So, I know can complete in time.
Osho - Nanak
When u meet the flower - when their fragrances and ur very existence are intermingled - u r lost in each other, u r one. Oh, the bliss. This is the moment when ur being and that of the flowers dance together, sway in the breeze.
Soul - I experienced it. I dance with the flower during BSP.
(Aug 27 - And now i dance with the water in the pool. At night before sleep, i dance with the air that I breathe.)
Osho - Nanak
Let life go on outside as usual, but within let there be only He. Keep your rship with him always fresh and alive.
Once remembrance is found, everything is in order. Nurture his remembrance. Now and then touch it inside to be sure it is there. While walking, stop and look. While eating, stop and check; close your eyes and watch if the remembrance is flowing. Gradually the experience will go deeper and deeper. Then the flow of remembrance continues in your sleep too.
When it flows all 24 hours, u will have made the bridge between urself and Him. Now u can close ur eyes and merge into him whenever u please. The road is now made; the instant u close ur eyes, u r lost in Him. And when u return to the world from ur meeting with Him, u will be refreshed, filled with absolute energy, as fresh and light as if u have just had a bath.
Soul
I have experienced this daily. These days whenever I close my eyes, I am lost in Existence. No wonder, I laugh myself to sleep. I felt so refreshed after shoonya.
Osho - Nanak
Even if u r lowly ant, it does not matter; only let his remembrance forever be. Do not indulge in the madness of acquiring vast kingdoms, because it always happens that the more u r engaged in piling up outside wealth, the more u forget Him.
If u remember Him, all outside wealth will be as dust to u, then the world's honour and fame will be of no consequence.
Soul
Same msg, forget abt gaining my valuation, remember m priceless.
Osho - Nanak
Whatever u gather in the world holds significance and value for u as long as ur understanding or remembrance of Him has not awakened. As soon as remembrance awakens in u, u become mature. By its light, u come to know all u hold precious was mere rubble. U wonder why in heaven u went after it, why u were so mad abt it. What have u attained by gaining this.
Suddenly it all become meaningless and worthless in ur eyes. Life is transformed the moment u r awakened. Your old personality dies and a new one is born.
All that is required is to keep remembering.
Soul
Continue meditating. Amen.
Body accepted the 4 hours sleep
Aug 2
Father, body woke up abt 3.20am feeling fresh. I was lazing around cos I tot it was 4.20 am. When the alarm didn't rang still, I finally checked the clock, it was 3.40 am and I got myself to sleep back.
Father, truly my body has got used to the system. Noticed my arm has reduced in size, less water retention.
Father, in 2009, I ate double, sleep double, I just let go of all controls. Taking afternoon nap without alarm clock, eating anything that I want without weighing myself, just letting it all out.
And now in 2010, my food intake normalise, my afternoon nap is less than 2 hours and my body finally agreed to 4 hours sleep a day. This happens after d major clearing of purging and vomit, after IE.
(Aug 27, alas body was for me the finale...my body is catching up alas. In no time, my body will be healed and my blood would no longer attack me)
Radical Forgiveness
As human being, we are blessed with the capability to feel emotion. Consequently, when we do not allow ourselves to experience the full range of emotions and instead suppress them, our souls create situations in which we are literally forced to feel them.
This means the whole point of creating an upset may simply lie in our soul's desire to provide an opportunity for us to feel a suppressed emotion. That being the case, simply allowing ourselves to have the feeling may allow the energy to move through us, and the so-called problem to disappear immediately. Feeling the emotion is just the first step in faking it until we make it, and it definitely cannot be bypassed.
It is in dismantling of the story that we find our opportunity to learn the real truth about ourselves and to remember who we really are. In tracing back the story and how it waa formed, we usually discover a core negative belief arose out of the experiences. Such beliefs are unconscious but they nevertheless remain active, and in order to reinforce themselves, need to create circumstances in the world "out there" that prove the belief correct.
These core beliefs usually form when we are very young. When something happens to us, we interpret the experience and give personal meaning to the situation. The story we made up based on the mixture of fact and fiction becomes our truth and an operating principle in our lives.
Father, am feeling bit apprehensive cos like have to prove myself, have to suffer, why now, just when I tot things begin to turn around.
Soul - that is so personal. Why I carry the burden? It is normal during pitch year to do a review. Besides its Aug instead of Sept (our critical time).it jus a job.
Amazingly, despite me being disturbed for past 2 days, I was still laughing myself to sleep. Amazing.
Guess, I was at ease.
Father, body woke up abt 3.20am feeling fresh. I was lazing around cos I tot it was 4.20 am. When the alarm didn't rang still, I finally checked the clock, it was 3.40 am and I got myself to sleep back.
Father, truly my body has got used to the system. Noticed my arm has reduced in size, less water retention.
Father, in 2009, I ate double, sleep double, I just let go of all controls. Taking afternoon nap without alarm clock, eating anything that I want without weighing myself, just letting it all out.
And now in 2010, my food intake normalise, my afternoon nap is less than 2 hours and my body finally agreed to 4 hours sleep a day. This happens after d major clearing of purging and vomit, after IE.
(Aug 27, alas body was for me the finale...my body is catching up alas. In no time, my body will be healed and my blood would no longer attack me)
Radical Forgiveness
As human being, we are blessed with the capability to feel emotion. Consequently, when we do not allow ourselves to experience the full range of emotions and instead suppress them, our souls create situations in which we are literally forced to feel them.
This means the whole point of creating an upset may simply lie in our soul's desire to provide an opportunity for us to feel a suppressed emotion. That being the case, simply allowing ourselves to have the feeling may allow the energy to move through us, and the so-called problem to disappear immediately. Feeling the emotion is just the first step in faking it until we make it, and it definitely cannot be bypassed.
It is in dismantling of the story that we find our opportunity to learn the real truth about ourselves and to remember who we really are. In tracing back the story and how it waa formed, we usually discover a core negative belief arose out of the experiences. Such beliefs are unconscious but they nevertheless remain active, and in order to reinforce themselves, need to create circumstances in the world "out there" that prove the belief correct.
These core beliefs usually form when we are very young. When something happens to us, we interpret the experience and give personal meaning to the situation. The story we made up based on the mixture of fact and fiction becomes our truth and an operating principle in our lives.
Father, am feeling bit apprehensive cos like have to prove myself, have to suffer, why now, just when I tot things begin to turn around.
Soul - that is so personal. Why I carry the burden? It is normal during pitch year to do a review. Besides its Aug instead of Sept (our critical time).it jus a job.
Amazingly, despite me being disturbed for past 2 days, I was still laughing myself to sleep. Amazing.
Guess, I was at ease.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
God is attained when ego is tired out
Aug 1 Even
3 days has passed. Seem quite fast or perhaps no. I savoured it. This weekend mind was bit off, but I did update my blog and also nearly finished reading Destiny card. Father, frankly too much things to remember and I wanted out but I remember what u said about my growth path is to be in uncomfortable situation, so I stay. Guess I wanted out becos I have difficulty memerising and I tot I couldn't excel. As usual, anything I can't win, I don't play. Guess this is the same way on how I retain my valuation. Since I cannot pull up my valuation, I make sure I don't pull it down.
Father, tot of last year Jupiter card, start of new biz. At first I says not true but then I recall I did have an idea for new biz, but alas both C and V also not keen and I was also uncertain, so nothing come out of it.
Father, this year is important for me, let me be open, let me be courageous. Let me have some help.
Osho - Nanak
As soon as all effort ceases, grace descends; as soon as your hopes are shattered and all activities drop away and all struggling ends, the ego falls and the palms open.
The aim of all yoga is to tire u out. Got is not attained through yoga, only the ego is tired out.
No methods lead to God - just to exhaustion, so that u reach a state of perfect relaxation; so that when the fist opens there is no strength to close it again.
The more changes in ur life, the greater is ur restlessness. This explains so much of the agitation in the world today, because there is constant change.
3 days has passed. Seem quite fast or perhaps no. I savoured it. This weekend mind was bit off, but I did update my blog and also nearly finished reading Destiny card. Father, frankly too much things to remember and I wanted out but I remember what u said about my growth path is to be in uncomfortable situation, so I stay. Guess I wanted out becos I have difficulty memerising and I tot I couldn't excel. As usual, anything I can't win, I don't play. Guess this is the same way on how I retain my valuation. Since I cannot pull up my valuation, I make sure I don't pull it down.
Father, tot of last year Jupiter card, start of new biz. At first I says not true but then I recall I did have an idea for new biz, but alas both C and V also not keen and I was also uncertain, so nothing come out of it.
Father, this year is important for me, let me be open, let me be courageous. Let me have some help.
Osho - Nanak
As soon as all effort ceases, grace descends; as soon as your hopes are shattered and all activities drop away and all struggling ends, the ego falls and the palms open.
The aim of all yoga is to tire u out. Got is not attained through yoga, only the ego is tired out.
No methods lead to God - just to exhaustion, so that u reach a state of perfect relaxation; so that when the fist opens there is no strength to close it again.
The more changes in ur life, the greater is ur restlessness. This explains so much of the agitation in the world today, because there is constant change.
Contentment within and compassion without (4)
Aug 1
Mmm, yday I tot the card was objective reading and hence its same for everyone. I wasn't keen on that as I think everyone devt is different. So, why same yearly spread.
Today I found out that the cards are purely subjective in their interpretation, not objective. The way it manifests in our lives is determined by our attitudes.
Our attitudes has more power over their destiny than the cards we have.
Even if we have all sorts of positive cycles and cards, we would have had continually problematic and troublesome lives if we are truly pessimistic and have a gloomy attitude.
If we have some energy and a half-way positive approach to life, the cards provide a blueprint for success. We can endeavoured to transform negative influences wherever we could.
It is not the cards but our own determination and efforts that are real key to our success. Without our determination and efforts, no cards could help us.
(Aug 22 - Father, yeap its me who is holding back...I will remove the black screen and let my Inner Sun shines through)
Soul
Interesting. So, likely more to it. Frankly, m only keen on the Life Spread, but others may be keen as they are looking for signs before they act. So, at least can make money.
Queen of Diamond
10 of Clubs, 10 of Hearts (Plu / Res). Your efforts to publicise ur works results in great success and more visibility
(Aug 22 - I have just purchased the website and selected the template and will wait for V to come back from Nepal, all energised..who knows he may have way of helping me to publicise it well.
Also this seems to be same msg as the Positivity Card that I have received during Sul Sister session.)
Ace of Diamond
9 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs (Plu / Res).
Ending of Rship (personal or professional) ; success as a writer or a rship with some younger man of the Clubs.
Soul - if I were to interpret - death of rship with a man of Club. So far, am not in one. If I take the highest point - ending my rship with my ego and become successful writer.
Now reading Nine again, tot of Ace being a loner and Nine of Heart, ending of my loner stage. Another tot is that of my rship with my career.
This year, loads of Sixes, I cover all the Sixes. Year of Destiny. So, will be open to my Destiny.
(Aug 22 - is ending my Ace of Diamond)
7thunder
To truly live means to make choices from that part of us that loves our life and is glad for the opportunity to be here. The opposite is to live our lives always from our fear side, always sacrificing that which would make us happy by doing everything in our power to avoid that which we are afraid of.
All of us have fears and all that separates those who are 'alive' from those who are 'dead' is the ability to face these fears and to make conscious choices in spite of them.
It is only those who never question their fear-based decisions that end up in lives that are going nowhere, lives that have little happiness or joy.
Soul
Similar to my Insight on almost everyone operates their lives in avoiding being unhappy rather that being happy.
A good reminder since this year long range is Six of Spade and Six of Diamond.
7thunders
Only someone who knows their own weaknesses can see the weaknesses of others. Only someone who is courageous enough to look at their own faults, errors and mistakes can see those of others without judgement. And this is just what it takes to see through the veil of illusion. What is really going on around us is in reality much different than most of us perceive.
Once we see the hidden truth behind our own actions, we will understand the actions of others more completely and will not be fooled by anyone or anything.
If one does not know their own fears and internal conflicts, little is possible in terms of having the power to shape their destiny.
A person who has reached a point in their life where they have discontinued any self-exploration and self-analysis will live a life that is at the mercy of things called "luck" and "fate". Those are the one with the "shit happens" bumper sticker.
Without self-love, all of our actions are fruitless, because they stem from this belief that we are not lovable or worthy of others' love either. Even though people may achieve great accomplishments in their life, they will end up feeling like a personal failure if they have not learned to love themselves and give themselves the credit.
Mmm, yday I tot the card was objective reading and hence its same for everyone. I wasn't keen on that as I think everyone devt is different. So, why same yearly spread.
Today I found out that the cards are purely subjective in their interpretation, not objective. The way it manifests in our lives is determined by our attitudes.
Our attitudes has more power over their destiny than the cards we have.
Even if we have all sorts of positive cycles and cards, we would have had continually problematic and troublesome lives if we are truly pessimistic and have a gloomy attitude.
If we have some energy and a half-way positive approach to life, the cards provide a blueprint for success. We can endeavoured to transform negative influences wherever we could.
It is not the cards but our own determination and efforts that are real key to our success. Without our determination and efforts, no cards could help us.
(Aug 22 - Father, yeap its me who is holding back...I will remove the black screen and let my Inner Sun shines through)
Soul
Interesting. So, likely more to it. Frankly, m only keen on the Life Spread, but others may be keen as they are looking for signs before they act. So, at least can make money.
Queen of Diamond
10 of Clubs, 10 of Hearts (Plu / Res). Your efforts to publicise ur works results in great success and more visibility
(Aug 22 - I have just purchased the website and selected the template and will wait for V to come back from Nepal, all energised..who knows he may have way of helping me to publicise it well.
Also this seems to be same msg as the Positivity Card that I have received during Sul Sister session.)
Ace of Diamond
9 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs (Plu / Res).
Ending of Rship (personal or professional) ; success as a writer or a rship with some younger man of the Clubs.
Soul - if I were to interpret - death of rship with a man of Club. So far, am not in one. If I take the highest point - ending my rship with my ego and become successful writer.
Now reading Nine again, tot of Ace being a loner and Nine of Heart, ending of my loner stage. Another tot is that of my rship with my career.
This year, loads of Sixes, I cover all the Sixes. Year of Destiny. So, will be open to my Destiny.
(Aug 22 - is ending my Ace of Diamond)
7thunder
To truly live means to make choices from that part of us that loves our life and is glad for the opportunity to be here. The opposite is to live our lives always from our fear side, always sacrificing that which would make us happy by doing everything in our power to avoid that which we are afraid of.
All of us have fears and all that separates those who are 'alive' from those who are 'dead' is the ability to face these fears and to make conscious choices in spite of them.
It is only those who never question their fear-based decisions that end up in lives that are going nowhere, lives that have little happiness or joy.
Soul
Similar to my Insight on almost everyone operates their lives in avoiding being unhappy rather that being happy.
A good reminder since this year long range is Six of Spade and Six of Diamond.
7thunders
Only someone who knows their own weaknesses can see the weaknesses of others. Only someone who is courageous enough to look at their own faults, errors and mistakes can see those of others without judgement. And this is just what it takes to see through the veil of illusion. What is really going on around us is in reality much different than most of us perceive.
Once we see the hidden truth behind our own actions, we will understand the actions of others more completely and will not be fooled by anyone or anything.
If one does not know their own fears and internal conflicts, little is possible in terms of having the power to shape their destiny.
A person who has reached a point in their life where they have discontinued any self-exploration and self-analysis will live a life that is at the mercy of things called "luck" and "fate". Those are the one with the "shit happens" bumper sticker.
Without self-love, all of our actions are fruitless, because they stem from this belief that we are not lovable or worthy of others' love either. Even though people may achieve great accomplishments in their life, they will end up feeling like a personal failure if they have not learned to love themselves and give themselves the credit.
Contentment within and compassion without (3)
Jul 31
Father, did a whole 2 hours of practice. Was good. While I was meditating, tot of d main client issue came, I let it be. Also tot of my family, they never asked anything of me. I was brought into the right family. If I was born into a feeler family, it would have been difficult for me. My family allows me to be who I am, pursue my interest and etc. Thank U. For the first time, I am grateful for my family and its perfect arrangement. Amen.
Was reading New Earth. Just read a caption relating to my Dream of Self-Mastery
Mastery of life is not a question of control, but finding a balance between human (role u play) and Being.
Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life.
In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others. In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.
Evening
Osho - Nanak
Your fate is not written on ur forehead; rather it is written in the wavelength of your life current, your vibration.
God has no desires, no motives. God is beyond destiny. God plays with his creation as a child play with his toy; to play for play sake.
The day your life current gets adjusted to the right wavelength, you will find all purpose disappearing from your life.
Soul
I know that once vibration is lifted, m changed and my life changed too. That's why am not sure of 7thunder destiny card. It assumes the same yearly spread regardless of your vibration. Father, the more I read, the more am sure that I won't be a card reader, but I don't mind using it as a tool.
(Aug 22 - after further reading, noted that the readings are subjective and not objective. Hence while it seem the same substance, it has different interpretation in form for different people/circumstances. I am keen on it. I may not be a specialist card reader, but definitely well versed enough as a generalist and my Insight will provide the 'touch' required. Amen)
Osho - Nanak
Leave all to him. The only grip you have to loosen is the grip on yourself and everything is solved.
Step aside, let him take over the reins of your destiny. Then whatever happens, do not judge or draw conclusions, because nothing happens against his will. Whatever happens, happens for the best.
Soul
I would say I am 75 percent knowing this.
(Aug 22 - Finally, my resentment dissolved. God truly loves me, he is not testing my worthiness by giving me the power. He is helping me to achieve my Destiny..its not to make me suffer, like I tot. Father, I am sorry, looks like my perception of You is really skewed. I am now 90% sure You know what is best for me.)
Osho - Nanak
The difference between a saint and a sinner is only that the life energy of one is creative and the other is destructive. Thus, whoever creates, can never act satanic. And one who creates nothing, can never be a saint, no matter how much he deludes himself.
The energy within has to be utilised one way or the other, for energy cannot remain stagnant; it has to flow.
Wherever your attention is, there your life flows.
You have to break the old links and not create new links of karma. By and by a moment comes when nothing of the old remains and nothing new is being formed; you are free. Ultimate bliss occurs only in this state.
(Aug 22 - Father, this reinforce my Creativity card - allow my creativity to shine thru. Here Osho says that if I don't create nothing, I can never be a saint...so this re-affirm the msg of me having a black screen blocking my Inner Sun from shining through.
Father...you are really great. How can the timing of me updating this blog re0affirms my Insight this morning. Infact, I wasn't planning to do this today. Was thinking of watching korean drama. But suddenly tot I wanted to write. So here I am updating my blog.
Everything I need, You gave to me...I am so blessed. I am sorry it took me so long and blamed you for everything. Alas, I have been on a victim mode in relation to my relationship to You.
I think of you are like me. Because I always asked myself to justify my worth. I tot you did that too. Alas,...I am the one hurting myself, not loving myself.. whereas you were only trying to help me to achieve my destiny. Amen,
Father...Thank You.)
Father, did a whole 2 hours of practice. Was good. While I was meditating, tot of d main client issue came, I let it be. Also tot of my family, they never asked anything of me. I was brought into the right family. If I was born into a feeler family, it would have been difficult for me. My family allows me to be who I am, pursue my interest and etc. Thank U. For the first time, I am grateful for my family and its perfect arrangement. Amen.
Was reading New Earth. Just read a caption relating to my Dream of Self-Mastery
Mastery of life is not a question of control, but finding a balance between human (role u play) and Being.
Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life.
In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others. In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.
Evening
Osho - Nanak
Your fate is not written on ur forehead; rather it is written in the wavelength of your life current, your vibration.
God has no desires, no motives. God is beyond destiny. God plays with his creation as a child play with his toy; to play for play sake.
The day your life current gets adjusted to the right wavelength, you will find all purpose disappearing from your life.
Soul
I know that once vibration is lifted, m changed and my life changed too. That's why am not sure of 7thunder destiny card. It assumes the same yearly spread regardless of your vibration. Father, the more I read, the more am sure that I won't be a card reader, but I don't mind using it as a tool.
(Aug 22 - after further reading, noted that the readings are subjective and not objective. Hence while it seem the same substance, it has different interpretation in form for different people/circumstances. I am keen on it. I may not be a specialist card reader, but definitely well versed enough as a generalist and my Insight will provide the 'touch' required. Amen)
Osho - Nanak
Leave all to him. The only grip you have to loosen is the grip on yourself and everything is solved.
Step aside, let him take over the reins of your destiny. Then whatever happens, do not judge or draw conclusions, because nothing happens against his will. Whatever happens, happens for the best.
Soul
I would say I am 75 percent knowing this.
(Aug 22 - Finally, my resentment dissolved. God truly loves me, he is not testing my worthiness by giving me the power. He is helping me to achieve my Destiny..its not to make me suffer, like I tot. Father, I am sorry, looks like my perception of You is really skewed. I am now 90% sure You know what is best for me.)
Osho - Nanak
The difference between a saint and a sinner is only that the life energy of one is creative and the other is destructive. Thus, whoever creates, can never act satanic. And one who creates nothing, can never be a saint, no matter how much he deludes himself.
The energy within has to be utilised one way or the other, for energy cannot remain stagnant; it has to flow.
Wherever your attention is, there your life flows.
You have to break the old links and not create new links of karma. By and by a moment comes when nothing of the old remains and nothing new is being formed; you are free. Ultimate bliss occurs only in this state.
(Aug 22 - Father, this reinforce my Creativity card - allow my creativity to shine thru. Here Osho says that if I don't create nothing, I can never be a saint...so this re-affirm the msg of me having a black screen blocking my Inner Sun from shining through.
Father...you are really great. How can the timing of me updating this blog re0affirms my Insight this morning. Infact, I wasn't planning to do this today. Was thinking of watching korean drama. But suddenly tot I wanted to write. So here I am updating my blog.
Everything I need, You gave to me...I am so blessed. I am sorry it took me so long and blamed you for everything. Alas, I have been on a victim mode in relation to my relationship to You.
I think of you are like me. Because I always asked myself to justify my worth. I tot you did that too. Alas,...I am the one hurting myself, not loving myself.. whereas you were only trying to help me to achieve my destiny. Amen,
Father...Thank You.)
Contentment within and compassion without (2)
Jul 30
Father, as I was meditating. A tot came. This is perfect. Firstly Osho card says that if I finally clean and clear, I will know Existence cares for me and then I can live without the need for control.
INTP (something that I hadn't tot abt a few mths already) says that my growth path is to stay in uncomfortable position, not to be in control.
INTP also mention abt the need to expand and share my world. To include instead of exclude the world. And here Osho - Nanak talks about self contentment and compassions for others.
Father, u r perfect.
Osho
As soon as ur mind becomes silent, the window falls away and you find yourself under the open skies. Then u begin to see how vast the expanse of existence. And when u realise the exquisite glory of existence, u wonder why u were lost in feeble nothings all this while.
As compassion firmly takes root, contentment will become more profound, and u will experience the dawning of the feeling of gratitude more profound.
(22 Aug - Amazing, why I am finally blogging this page after so long. After the workshop yday, seeing my mandala drawing and knowing that by my resisting to help others, I prevent my own Inner Sun from shining through. It is now at glowing up to the brim. I myself, prevented it from shining thru. Alas, I finally realise that I need them as much as they need me. Like RF says there is no victim mode here..all of us playing the drama we need to play to fulfill each other destiny. They play the role of requring help so that I can have the role of helper to fulfill my destiny as Queen of Diamond.
Its only when I finally accepted my role as Helper, I will achieve even more contentment.
Osho - Creativiy- True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Father, not sure if I am arrogant, suddenly I tot myself as the Goddess of Beauty and Power that the Pyschic has seen. She says she will be meeting the Goddess soon.)
Evening
Received email from biggest client. Got bit worried abt workload n also loss of d client and etc. Glad a positive tot came back. This is not my burden to bear. Anyway, even if we lose this client is fine. That's means CEO will have to leave.
Osho - Nanak
If u stop putting urself in the middle, stop getting in ur own way, u will find the path of paths.
Leave all to him and be thankful for whatever he had caused to happen for u, for whatever he is making u do this moment, for whatever he will cause u to perform. All praise unto him. Give him a blank cheque of gratitude. Whether u liked it or not, whether u r praised or blamed, whether people called it ur good fortune or misfortune, let there not be even a trace of difference in ur thankfulness.
Soul
After I learn that my path of grow is to be in uncomfortable situation. I am more accepting. After seeing the Insight between me and CEO and seeing how she is the catalyst for me to work on my rship/communication. And I was too bling to see then. Now I can at least say I agree 60 percent.
Father, as I was meditating. A tot came. This is perfect. Firstly Osho card says that if I finally clean and clear, I will know Existence cares for me and then I can live without the need for control.
INTP (something that I hadn't tot abt a few mths already) says that my growth path is to stay in uncomfortable position, not to be in control.
INTP also mention abt the need to expand and share my world. To include instead of exclude the world. And here Osho - Nanak talks about self contentment and compassions for others.
Father, u r perfect.
Osho
As soon as ur mind becomes silent, the window falls away and you find yourself under the open skies. Then u begin to see how vast the expanse of existence. And when u realise the exquisite glory of existence, u wonder why u were lost in feeble nothings all this while.
As compassion firmly takes root, contentment will become more profound, and u will experience the dawning of the feeling of gratitude more profound.
(22 Aug - Amazing, why I am finally blogging this page after so long. After the workshop yday, seeing my mandala drawing and knowing that by my resisting to help others, I prevent my own Inner Sun from shining through. It is now at glowing up to the brim. I myself, prevented it from shining thru. Alas, I finally realise that I need them as much as they need me. Like RF says there is no victim mode here..all of us playing the drama we need to play to fulfill each other destiny. They play the role of requring help so that I can have the role of helper to fulfill my destiny as Queen of Diamond.
Its only when I finally accepted my role as Helper, I will achieve even more contentment.
Osho - Creativiy- True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Father, not sure if I am arrogant, suddenly I tot myself as the Goddess of Beauty and Power that the Pyschic has seen. She says she will be meeting the Goddess soon.)
Evening
Received email from biggest client. Got bit worried abt workload n also loss of d client and etc. Glad a positive tot came back. This is not my burden to bear. Anyway, even if we lose this client is fine. That's means CEO will have to leave.
Osho - Nanak
If u stop putting urself in the middle, stop getting in ur own way, u will find the path of paths.
Leave all to him and be thankful for whatever he had caused to happen for u, for whatever he is making u do this moment, for whatever he will cause u to perform. All praise unto him. Give him a blank cheque of gratitude. Whether u liked it or not, whether u r praised or blamed, whether people called it ur good fortune or misfortune, let there not be even a trace of difference in ur thankfulness.
Soul
After I learn that my path of grow is to be in uncomfortable situation. I am more accepting. After seeing the Insight between me and CEO and seeing how she is the catalyst for me to work on my rship/communication. And I was too bling to see then. Now I can at least say I agree 60 percent.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Contentment within and compassion without
Jul 29 After
This morning, still not able to fake it. I tot perhaps I can google on abandonment issue or "not enough" issue that trigger our need to feel required/respected/acknowledged etc. Couldn't find anything. Then suddenly tot of checking personalitypage as I have helped both S and W to identify strength and weakness.
I tot perhaps, I didn't have to dig my past, just see what are my weakness and improve on it.
Read about me being an introvert, basically don't need people affirmation and not sensitive to more than half of population that require validation and feedback. Also says that I have difficulty in feeling myself and tot people don't feel.
My best partner has to be thinkers like me too. ENTP (Executive) and ESTJ (Guardian). No wonder I clicked with S as he is ENTP. Both Guardian and Executive are leaders, just like me
I only need to work on being sensitive to feeling people and knows that they need feedback/validation.
Was thinking that P a heart person, can cry easily. So nice. Me, difficult to express. Anyway, now no romantic rshipl, cannot practice yet but will focus on expressing myself.
I am highly intelligent and only position myself in comfortable situation, doing what I like. My growth will come from placing myself in uncomfortable positon. Tot of me and CEO. I am definitely not comfortable. So, looks at this towards my growth since I cannot find my gratitude towards her yet, despite she being my mirror for valuation mode.
Father, amazing thing happen. I went in just to see her for a meeting, supposed to be 15 min. But we talked abt biz and suddenly a simple update turns into an Annual Plan for next year and update of remaining year forecast. Meeting last about 1 hour. This is what I want. For the first time, we have biz plan before OPP.
She thanked me and I thanked her for helping me to plan for OPP.
When I walked out, I wonder why we get along well. I recalled my rship card with her that we have MARS energy and will need to work together. I felt good and appreciate her in taking direction for the Company. She is fully aware we r on full hiring and need to plan for next year to 'feed' the new enlarged staffing. Otherwise have to cut staff again. I am proud of her.
Then a tot came, when she asked me what she did as CEO. I just says building rship. Why I didn't say about her leading and driving the company. Providing direction. How could I have forget that? No wonder she was so hurt. I didn't validate and she of all people needs tons of validation.
Suddenly occurred to me. Of all the people I am with, she is the only one that demand for my attention/validation. Other people will just feel hurt and slide off or just accept me. She always demand and even threaten me for my attention.
I guess she is helping me to see and ensure that I open up and see what the other person require from me in a relationship.
Father knows that I am not ready for a romantic rship and hence prepared me to take a rship seriously.
That's her gift to me. She valued me and everytime tell me how she wants me to behave with her becos she want the rship to continue. If she doesn't value me, she wouldn't even has bothered.
All these while, her take with me is more on my rship with her, in terms of my communication, treatment of her. Nothing to do with my work cos I am doing a good job. So, my misguided perception on she not valuing me and hence scolding me is wrong. It is because she valued me that she scold me for not giving her due respect in the rship between staff/boss and she requires max attention, even worst than my ex-boyfriends.
Father, thank U. I tried and tried and alas found d key that U have send me. CEO is a gift for me.
She even helped me on the cactus plant amen.
Her gift to me is to show me how to be in a rship. To see what and how the other party wants to be treated.
Father, U r great.
Osho
Compassion and contentment are two very valuable words because the whole life of seeker can be contained within them.
Contentment within and compassion without must be balanced on the scales.
Be always satisfied within your own self and ever-compassionate towards others, never contentment based on others nor compassion for one's own self.
If you don't feel contented in what you have, tots of dissatisfaction begin to gather in ur mind, u will feel the lack of things and ur restlessness begin. Your mind will concentrate on all that u do not have and see only insufficiency.
If u r kind to others but dissatisfied with ur own self, u will end up a social worker; u will never become religious.
If u r satisfied with urself but no compassion for others, u become a lifeless holy man.
Soul
Tot of me, contented within. Doesn't need feedback or validation and don't give others as well.
Very apt given.
Osho - Nanak
If one sides of the scales is heavier than the other, because of this lack of equilibrium, the instrument of existence cannot be tuned to resonate with the divine melody.
He who embodies compassion and contentment - in the right proportion and the right direction - attains the supreme comprehension of life. He will then know what is religion.
Satisfaction within, compassion without
Meditation within, love and kindness without.
Wisdom within, compassion without.
Until such time that both of these are present, whatever the knowledge, it can only be false. The lack of either leaves knowledge incomplete.
Soul
Father, this message affirms my lesson with CEO.
This morning, still not able to fake it. I tot perhaps I can google on abandonment issue or "not enough" issue that trigger our need to feel required/respected/acknowledged etc. Couldn't find anything. Then suddenly tot of checking personalitypage as I have helped both S and W to identify strength and weakness.
I tot perhaps, I didn't have to dig my past, just see what are my weakness and improve on it.
Read about me being an introvert, basically don't need people affirmation and not sensitive to more than half of population that require validation and feedback. Also says that I have difficulty in feeling myself and tot people don't feel.
My best partner has to be thinkers like me too. ENTP (Executive) and ESTJ (Guardian). No wonder I clicked with S as he is ENTP. Both Guardian and Executive are leaders, just like me
I only need to work on being sensitive to feeling people and knows that they need feedback/validation.
Was thinking that P a heart person, can cry easily. So nice. Me, difficult to express. Anyway, now no romantic rshipl, cannot practice yet but will focus on expressing myself.
I am highly intelligent and only position myself in comfortable situation, doing what I like. My growth will come from placing myself in uncomfortable positon. Tot of me and CEO. I am definitely not comfortable. So, looks at this towards my growth since I cannot find my gratitude towards her yet, despite she being my mirror for valuation mode.
Father, amazing thing happen. I went in just to see her for a meeting, supposed to be 15 min. But we talked abt biz and suddenly a simple update turns into an Annual Plan for next year and update of remaining year forecast. Meeting last about 1 hour. This is what I want. For the first time, we have biz plan before OPP.
She thanked me and I thanked her for helping me to plan for OPP.
When I walked out, I wonder why we get along well. I recalled my rship card with her that we have MARS energy and will need to work together. I felt good and appreciate her in taking direction for the Company. She is fully aware we r on full hiring and need to plan for next year to 'feed' the new enlarged staffing. Otherwise have to cut staff again. I am proud of her.
Then a tot came, when she asked me what she did as CEO. I just says building rship. Why I didn't say about her leading and driving the company. Providing direction. How could I have forget that? No wonder she was so hurt. I didn't validate and she of all people needs tons of validation.
Suddenly occurred to me. Of all the people I am with, she is the only one that demand for my attention/validation. Other people will just feel hurt and slide off or just accept me. She always demand and even threaten me for my attention.
I guess she is helping me to see and ensure that I open up and see what the other person require from me in a relationship.
Father knows that I am not ready for a romantic rship and hence prepared me to take a rship seriously.
That's her gift to me. She valued me and everytime tell me how she wants me to behave with her becos she want the rship to continue. If she doesn't value me, she wouldn't even has bothered.
All these while, her take with me is more on my rship with her, in terms of my communication, treatment of her. Nothing to do with my work cos I am doing a good job. So, my misguided perception on she not valuing me and hence scolding me is wrong. It is because she valued me that she scold me for not giving her due respect in the rship between staff/boss and she requires max attention, even worst than my ex-boyfriends.
Father, thank U. I tried and tried and alas found d key that U have send me. CEO is a gift for me.
She even helped me on the cactus plant amen.
Her gift to me is to show me how to be in a rship. To see what and how the other party wants to be treated.
Father, U r great.
Osho
Compassion and contentment are two very valuable words because the whole life of seeker can be contained within them.
Contentment within and compassion without must be balanced on the scales.
Be always satisfied within your own self and ever-compassionate towards others, never contentment based on others nor compassion for one's own self.
If you don't feel contented in what you have, tots of dissatisfaction begin to gather in ur mind, u will feel the lack of things and ur restlessness begin. Your mind will concentrate on all that u do not have and see only insufficiency.
If u r kind to others but dissatisfied with ur own self, u will end up a social worker; u will never become religious.
If u r satisfied with urself but no compassion for others, u become a lifeless holy man.
Soul
Tot of me, contented within. Doesn't need feedback or validation and don't give others as well.
Very apt given.
Osho - Nanak
If one sides of the scales is heavier than the other, because of this lack of equilibrium, the instrument of existence cannot be tuned to resonate with the divine melody.
He who embodies compassion and contentment - in the right proportion and the right direction - attains the supreme comprehension of life. He will then know what is religion.
Satisfaction within, compassion without
Meditation within, love and kindness without.
Wisdom within, compassion without.
Until such time that both of these are present, whatever the knowledge, it can only be false. The lack of either leaves knowledge incomplete.
Soul
Father, this message affirms my lesson with CEO.
The power to heal is in the feelings
Jul 29
Father, again woke up before alarm. Thanks for regulating my body. It has adapted to the 4 hours sleep. Though yday, I slept earlier at 11 pm.
I really like my asanas especially plough back and the leg lifting. I stayed quite long in the plough back position.
Surprisingly, I was laughing after hatha and then some laughter during breathing. Feel good. Father, whatever happen outside, inside I felt good and thank u for giving me the tool.
I still have not accepted it yet. And was having judgement and attacking tots on CEO. Then a tot came Fake it till u make it.
Give myself a break, this is really not easy cos its continuous. Somemore she is fighting for chairman position. So even the 1.5 years may not be the deadline. Then a tot came, if chairman she will come in 2 days a week only.
Besides, I have 4 days week that I savour.
(Aug 13 - confirmed with Regional boss, even if she stayed as Chairman, she won't be around in office)
Radical Forgiveness.
We must enter RF process with no expectation of when an energy shift might happen - eventhough we know that it can happen instantaneously
Exactly when the results begin to show up may depend on things we know little about.
It might take a while before we begin to really feel unconditional acceptance for the person involved and peace around the situation, which is how we know when forgiveness is complete.
Soul
Asking me to be patient.
Radical Forgivenes
Radical Forgiveness is a soul-to-soul interaction and requires only that we become connected at the soul level. When we feel this unconditional love for their soul, our soul joines theirs and become one.
Hence we do not have to like the person nor do we have to stay in their company if their personality and/or their behaviour is toxic to us.
(Aug 13 - surprisingly, our rship recovered last week and she is back to her normal loving self. Even more importantly, she is talking about her personal value, thinking she wants to have time for herself, opting out from heavy career)
Soul
This one I am not so sure. Its like an escape clause. For me is if inside is healed, manifest to outside.
Perhaps this is the base of Fake it till u make it.
A tot came. I must have such deep hidden pain that my valuation is triggered easily. The same for CEO. I affect myself and she affect others.
A tot came when I felt envious of the lip-hared gal who got a good husband. I wonder whether my low valuation is due to my hidden aspiration for my partner. But then partner is not the core.
Or could it be the childhood incident.
I don't know lah. Can't dig anymore.
Radical Forgiveness
RF requires no therapy. Not only does forgiving in the moment heal all the other times, the same or a similar thing happened - including the original situation - but u don't have to know what the original situation was.
That means you don't have to go digging up the past trying to figure out exactly what the original pain was. It is healed anyway, so what's the point?
When we are in the present, we cannot feel resentment because resentment only lives in the past. Neither can we feel fear, because fear only exists in relation to the future.
Soul
Mmm, the story abt the monk getting angry becos he waited for some guests to ring bell to let him know they arrived. But the guests came in without him knowing and he was enraged.
He has an "abandonment" or "not good enough" issue.
Radical Forgiveness
The power to heal is in the feelings - not in talking or thinking, not in affirmation, and not even in meditation if it involved shutting out feelings.
There is no such thing as positive or negative emotion. Emotions becomes "bad" and have a negative effect on us when they are suppressed, denied, or unexpressed. Positive thinking is really just another form of denial.
Soul
The good thing is that only during meditation, I felt safe to let out all my feelings.
Father, again woke up before alarm. Thanks for regulating my body. It has adapted to the 4 hours sleep. Though yday, I slept earlier at 11 pm.
I really like my asanas especially plough back and the leg lifting. I stayed quite long in the plough back position.
Surprisingly, I was laughing after hatha and then some laughter during breathing. Feel good. Father, whatever happen outside, inside I felt good and thank u for giving me the tool.
I still have not accepted it yet. And was having judgement and attacking tots on CEO. Then a tot came Fake it till u make it.
Give myself a break, this is really not easy cos its continuous. Somemore she is fighting for chairman position. So even the 1.5 years may not be the deadline. Then a tot came, if chairman she will come in 2 days a week only.
Besides, I have 4 days week that I savour.
(Aug 13 - confirmed with Regional boss, even if she stayed as Chairman, she won't be around in office)
Radical Forgiveness.
We must enter RF process with no expectation of when an energy shift might happen - eventhough we know that it can happen instantaneously
Exactly when the results begin to show up may depend on things we know little about.
It might take a while before we begin to really feel unconditional acceptance for the person involved and peace around the situation, which is how we know when forgiveness is complete.
Soul
Asking me to be patient.
Radical Forgivenes
Radical Forgiveness is a soul-to-soul interaction and requires only that we become connected at the soul level. When we feel this unconditional love for their soul, our soul joines theirs and become one.
Hence we do not have to like the person nor do we have to stay in their company if their personality and/or their behaviour is toxic to us.
(Aug 13 - surprisingly, our rship recovered last week and she is back to her normal loving self. Even more importantly, she is talking about her personal value, thinking she wants to have time for herself, opting out from heavy career)
Soul
This one I am not so sure. Its like an escape clause. For me is if inside is healed, manifest to outside.
Perhaps this is the base of Fake it till u make it.
A tot came. I must have such deep hidden pain that my valuation is triggered easily. The same for CEO. I affect myself and she affect others.
A tot came when I felt envious of the lip-hared gal who got a good husband. I wonder whether my low valuation is due to my hidden aspiration for my partner. But then partner is not the core.
Or could it be the childhood incident.
I don't know lah. Can't dig anymore.
Radical Forgiveness
RF requires no therapy. Not only does forgiving in the moment heal all the other times, the same or a similar thing happened - including the original situation - but u don't have to know what the original situation was.
That means you don't have to go digging up the past trying to figure out exactly what the original pain was. It is healed anyway, so what's the point?
When we are in the present, we cannot feel resentment because resentment only lives in the past. Neither can we feel fear, because fear only exists in relation to the future.
Soul
Mmm, the story abt the monk getting angry becos he waited for some guests to ring bell to let him know they arrived. But the guests came in without him knowing and he was enraged.
He has an "abandonment" or "not good enough" issue.
Radical Forgiveness
The power to heal is in the feelings - not in talking or thinking, not in affirmation, and not even in meditation if it involved shutting out feelings.
There is no such thing as positive or negative emotion. Emotions becomes "bad" and have a negative effect on us when they are suppressed, denied, or unexpressed. Positive thinking is really just another form of denial.
Soul
The good thing is that only during meditation, I felt safe to let out all my feelings.
Inner path is my way
Jul 28 even
Osho
Manushya means man. It contains the root mana, which means mind.
When a person is deeply established in meditation, he becomes manushya, because consciousness and awareness as a higher state of mind is the nature of man.
When u attain ur consciousness, u find that it is the portal to the consciousness of all of existence. So, the only way for man to reach God is to discover the innermost basis of his own nature.
Osho
Manushya means man. It contains the root mana, which means mind.
When a person is deeply established in meditation, he becomes manushya, because consciousness and awareness as a higher state of mind is the nature of man.
When u attain ur consciousness, u find that it is the portal to the consciousness of all of existence. So, the only way for man to reach God is to discover the innermost basis of his own nature.
My body has accepted the 4 hours sleep
Jul 28
Father, today woke up around 4.20 am before alarm clock. Did my practices. Father, these days I prefer the asanas. No longer felt such love for suria as before. But I noticed I am focused on every cycle instead of thinking abt the end.
Was having negative tot of CEO. Judging her and etc. In the end, she is all that I judged but key question is it affected me. And the reason is becos of my valuation mode.
Also glad that I handled the cd issue with C. She hasn't done anything yet as not only was she renovating her house, also office and other things. I guess she worries that I judged her.
valuation mode. Actually only little scolding yet I am triggered. Aiyah, osho card on sorrow is really true. I cried a bit during suria and lots during resting position. Good release.
I asked on where the valuation arise and the figure of a friend's mother comes to my mind. Firstly, valuation mode is destined as I am a diamond. But the lack of valuation was caused by?? I recall that when she chastised me and family for being poor. I told myself I will make money and be able to afford all the food that I want to eat. Don't have to depend on anyone. As the reason I went to their place is for the food, I don't really like the daughter as a friend and I dislike the mother too.
Father, 1st best friend LH - food; 2nd best friend MP - food. Even the neighbours, all of them gave me good food and I stayed becos of food eventhough I was not happy with them.
(Aug 13 - Father, in past live, I married for money. In this life, I seems to make friends based on 'food'. As long as they gave me good food, I will accompany them, be their friends, even if I don't really like them, we don't click'. I used to think I am accepting, the truth is I live for the 'good food' they gave me. Looks like I could be repeating my past, albeit in a different form.)
Father, help me.
Saw Osho card. Remind me Existence cares for me and ask me to take a break and relax into my new Home. Even if things get a little out of hand, its probably just what the doctor ordered.
Radical Forgiveness
4. Reframing the story.
At times we will be able to see the perfection right away and learn the lesson immediately.
However, more often, it is a matter of giving up the need to figure it out and surrendering to the ideas that the gift is contained in the situation, whether we know or not.
It is that act of surrender that the real lesson of love is learned and the gift received.
This is also the step of transformation, for as we begin to become open to seeing the divine perfection in what happened, our victim stories, which were once vehicles for anger, bitterness and resentment, become transformed into stories of appreciation, gratitude and loving acceptance.
Soul
My victim story on CEO has turn around and I do appreciate the mirror and now the chance to feel my unlovingness within me. To know that I am easily triggered like her too.
Just be patient and let the gratitude comes.
5. Integration.
Once we can feel gratitude and see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level.
That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so that it becomes a part of who we are. Its like saving what u have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent.
Satori Breathwork is a good way to integrate the change. Breathing and releasing the repressed emotion.
(Aug 13 - I am attending Soul Sisters workshop that will open up my heart)
Soul
Yday, I tot, my response is internal unlike CEO. She project it out and scold people. For me, it went in and I repressed it and I become disturbed and depressed. So, just cry it out. Cry out the sorrow. Let it all out. Will do more during meditation.
Radical Forgiveness
5. Integration
Ritual, ceremony and of course, music are all used to integrate the shift in perception that is Radical Forgiveness.
These 5 stages don't necessarily occur in just this order. Very often, we move through them, or some of them at least or we keep coming back and forth from one stage to another in a kind of circular or spiraling fashion.
Soul
Mmm, just like Isha pgm. Father, my healing is just using the mind and shift in perception. Am not sure of using rituals and music.
But I know I do believe and experience music.
First tot, I don't think I wan to follow RF.
Mmm, tot I need a partner to provide all the other back up if I follow RF
Now jus tot, mine is Insight and writing. Just follow myself.
Father, today woke up around 4.20 am before alarm clock. Did my practices. Father, these days I prefer the asanas. No longer felt such love for suria as before. But I noticed I am focused on every cycle instead of thinking abt the end.
Was having negative tot of CEO. Judging her and etc. In the end, she is all that I judged but key question is it affected me. And the reason is becos of my valuation mode.
Also glad that I handled the cd issue with C. She hasn't done anything yet as not only was she renovating her house, also office and other things. I guess she worries that I judged her.
valuation mode. Actually only little scolding yet I am triggered. Aiyah, osho card on sorrow is really true. I cried a bit during suria and lots during resting position. Good release.
I asked on where the valuation arise and the figure of a friend's mother comes to my mind. Firstly, valuation mode is destined as I am a diamond. But the lack of valuation was caused by?? I recall that when she chastised me and family for being poor. I told myself I will make money and be able to afford all the food that I want to eat. Don't have to depend on anyone. As the reason I went to their place is for the food, I don't really like the daughter as a friend and I dislike the mother too.
Father, 1st best friend LH - food; 2nd best friend MP - food. Even the neighbours, all of them gave me good food and I stayed becos of food eventhough I was not happy with them.
(Aug 13 - Father, in past live, I married for money. In this life, I seems to make friends based on 'food'. As long as they gave me good food, I will accompany them, be their friends, even if I don't really like them, we don't click'. I used to think I am accepting, the truth is I live for the 'good food' they gave me. Looks like I could be repeating my past, albeit in a different form.)
Father, help me.
Saw Osho card. Remind me Existence cares for me and ask me to take a break and relax into my new Home. Even if things get a little out of hand, its probably just what the doctor ordered.
Radical Forgiveness
4. Reframing the story.
At times we will be able to see the perfection right away and learn the lesson immediately.
However, more often, it is a matter of giving up the need to figure it out and surrendering to the ideas that the gift is contained in the situation, whether we know or not.
It is that act of surrender that the real lesson of love is learned and the gift received.
This is also the step of transformation, for as we begin to become open to seeing the divine perfection in what happened, our victim stories, which were once vehicles for anger, bitterness and resentment, become transformed into stories of appreciation, gratitude and loving acceptance.
Soul
My victim story on CEO has turn around and I do appreciate the mirror and now the chance to feel my unlovingness within me. To know that I am easily triggered like her too.
Just be patient and let the gratitude comes.
5. Integration.
Once we can feel gratitude and see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level.
That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so that it becomes a part of who we are. Its like saving what u have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent.
Satori Breathwork is a good way to integrate the change. Breathing and releasing the repressed emotion.
(Aug 13 - I am attending Soul Sisters workshop that will open up my heart)
Soul
Yday, I tot, my response is internal unlike CEO. She project it out and scold people. For me, it went in and I repressed it and I become disturbed and depressed. So, just cry it out. Cry out the sorrow. Let it all out. Will do more during meditation.
Radical Forgiveness
5. Integration
Ritual, ceremony and of course, music are all used to integrate the shift in perception that is Radical Forgiveness.
These 5 stages don't necessarily occur in just this order. Very often, we move through them, or some of them at least or we keep coming back and forth from one stage to another in a kind of circular or spiraling fashion.
Soul
Mmm, just like Isha pgm. Father, my healing is just using the mind and shift in perception. Am not sure of using rituals and music.
But I know I do believe and experience music.
First tot, I don't think I wan to follow RF.
Mmm, tot I need a partner to provide all the other back up if I follow RF
Now jus tot, mine is Insight and writing. Just follow myself.
Our fragile peace is easily triggered by hidden fear (3)
Jul 27 Even
Father, I still have tot of me being valueless. Yeap, CEO's valuation mode is triggered by anything perceived to threaten her valuation. She now use office admin to attack me.
Father, a tot came to me. Same here. My valuation mode also triggered, mine hits me whereas hers hit others.
Ok, my value has dropped. I am fearful of confrontation or rather has to swallow it. Despite my fear, I saw her on the carpet. I get it done despite my fear. So, ego said next week, she will attack me too. But I will be more prepared. Father, let me learn this asap. Just as she is easily triggered, I am also.
A small incident, and d scolding was minimal and I managed to bring down her anger. Her words again, I am too big for my head. I don't have respect for her.
Father, help me to learn asap. Her triggering mode will continue so my triggering mode has to stop. Otherwise, it will be never ending. Of cos, I tot of quitting but how to find 4 days job. And I am not yet established as counselor.
Father, will get thru this. The scolding was much lesser when I triggered her on the leave issue. Since I survived that, I can survived this too. I guess part of it I was judging myself for being affected still. Just focus on seeing my triggering mode and work on it.
At least be happy that I did see thru P's issue with S - envious that he goes all the way out to do his best. P's is on the lazy side and lacked initiative. As for her mirror with CEO, she has power leakages. That's the friction between her and CEO.
Also glad that I handled the cd issue with C. She hasn't done anything yet as not only was she renovating her house, also office and other things. I guess she worries that I judged her.
Osho - Nanak
Socrates
When the sage attains the supreme knowledge, he finds that there is only one thing that remains to be known - I know nothing.
Father, I still have tot of me being valueless. Yeap, CEO's valuation mode is triggered by anything perceived to threaten her valuation. She now use office admin to attack me.
Father, a tot came to me. Same here. My valuation mode also triggered, mine hits me whereas hers hit others.
Ok, my value has dropped. I am fearful of confrontation or rather has to swallow it. Despite my fear, I saw her on the carpet. I get it done despite my fear. So, ego said next week, she will attack me too. But I will be more prepared. Father, let me learn this asap. Just as she is easily triggered, I am also.
A small incident, and d scolding was minimal and I managed to bring down her anger. Her words again, I am too big for my head. I don't have respect for her.
Father, help me to learn asap. Her triggering mode will continue so my triggering mode has to stop. Otherwise, it will be never ending. Of cos, I tot of quitting but how to find 4 days job. And I am not yet established as counselor.
Father, will get thru this. The scolding was much lesser when I triggered her on the leave issue. Since I survived that, I can survived this too. I guess part of it I was judging myself for being affected still. Just focus on seeing my triggering mode and work on it.
At least be happy that I did see thru P's issue with S - envious that he goes all the way out to do his best. P's is on the lazy side and lacked initiative. As for her mirror with CEO, she has power leakages. That's the friction between her and CEO.
Also glad that I handled the cd issue with C. She hasn't done anything yet as not only was she renovating her house, also office and other things. I guess she worries that I judged her.
Osho - Nanak
Socrates
When the sage attains the supreme knowledge, he finds that there is only one thing that remains to be known - I know nothing.
Our fragile peace is easily triggered by hidden fear (2)
Jul 27
Father, today I had a dream, but I woke up fresh around 4.20 am. Father, I think my system finally accepted that I need only 4 hours sleep. Amen.
Yday, when I was meditating, I cried that I don't want to be like CEO, holding on to her valuation and attacking anyone that she perceives to trigger her valuation.
Father, how do I attack myself?
Anyway, yday read about attention, where we give our focus, that's what we will perceive. So, I am going to perceive I am lovable and well loved instead of unlovable due to recent 'attacks'. They helped me to see that the my belief of unlovability is still there. So, will work on this.
Osho
1. Creativity
It is an attitude, an inner approach - how u look at things. If u have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual, its is creative.
Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Not sure. Only thing I can think of its counseling. Yday, I managed to map it out for WY and even inform her that her perception for her second son and S is the same. They have big parameter and she has small parameter. They are generalist and she is specialist. Both supposed to learn from each other.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Sorrow
Pain is not to make u sad, is just to make u more alert and aware. When u r aware, misery disappears.
Meditate deeply and feel ur pain and sorrow. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. Go deep into the very roots of our pain and experience it as it is, without blame or self pity.
Soul
Wheneve I perceived attack, I wld feel hurt, unwanted. That's when I know I need to love myself. Don't search for love in the wrong places.
3. External influence of which u are aware - Patience.
The whole Existence waits for the right moment. The tree waiting for the new foliage with a great trust that the old has gone, and the new will soon be coming, and the new leaves will start growing.
This card reminds us to be simply alert, patient, waiting, let nature takes its course.
Soul
Yeap, I know the Light of Love has been lit within and I am working on my unlovability issue. Thanks to CEO, I will have the opportunity to experience and cleanse it.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Existence.
You are not accidental. Existence need u.
Once u r clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Home is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation.
Now is the time to look at whether u r allowing urself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u r. If u r, be sure to savour it so it can deepen.
If on the other hand, u've been feeling like the world is out to get u. Its time to take a break. Go outside and look at the stars.
Soul
Yday mornin, jus like Sorrow card, I tot I was fine. I don't feel attack. Then 2 incident happens and I felt it. So vulnerable, so shaky my hard-earned peace.
5. The understanding - Control.
Controlled person are always nervous because deep down turmoil is still hidden.
If u r uncontrolled, flowing, alive, then u r not nervous. Whatsoever happens, happens.
Take a deep breathe, loosen our neckties. If mistakes happen, its okay. If things get a little out of hand, its probably just what the doctor ordered.
There is much, much more to life than being "on top of things".
Soul
I can now act spontaneously. As for nervousness, still
Father, guess when CEO attack me. Its no so much love per se. But I guess when she dare to attack me, I perceive that she thinks m not useful or valuable to her. Because, she can control her emotion. She only explode whenever she felt she can get away with it.
So, this is my valueless mode that was triggered.
Father, today I had a dream, but I woke up fresh around 4.20 am. Father, I think my system finally accepted that I need only 4 hours sleep. Amen.
Yday, when I was meditating, I cried that I don't want to be like CEO, holding on to her valuation and attacking anyone that she perceives to trigger her valuation.
Father, how do I attack myself?
Anyway, yday read about attention, where we give our focus, that's what we will perceive. So, I am going to perceive I am lovable and well loved instead of unlovable due to recent 'attacks'. They helped me to see that the my belief of unlovability is still there. So, will work on this.
Osho
1. Creativity
It is an attitude, an inner approach - how u look at things. If u have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual, its is creative.
Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Not sure. Only thing I can think of its counseling. Yday, I managed to map it out for WY and even inform her that her perception for her second son and S is the same. They have big parameter and she has small parameter. They are generalist and she is specialist. Both supposed to learn from each other.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Sorrow
Pain is not to make u sad, is just to make u more alert and aware. When u r aware, misery disappears.
Meditate deeply and feel ur pain and sorrow. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. Go deep into the very roots of our pain and experience it as it is, without blame or self pity.
Soul
Wheneve I perceived attack, I wld feel hurt, unwanted. That's when I know I need to love myself. Don't search for love in the wrong places.
3. External influence of which u are aware - Patience.
The whole Existence waits for the right moment. The tree waiting for the new foliage with a great trust that the old has gone, and the new will soon be coming, and the new leaves will start growing.
This card reminds us to be simply alert, patient, waiting, let nature takes its course.
Soul
Yeap, I know the Light of Love has been lit within and I am working on my unlovability issue. Thanks to CEO, I will have the opportunity to experience and cleanse it.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Existence.
You are not accidental. Existence need u.
Once u r clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Home is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation.
Now is the time to look at whether u r allowing urself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u r. If u r, be sure to savour it so it can deepen.
If on the other hand, u've been feeling like the world is out to get u. Its time to take a break. Go outside and look at the stars.
Soul
Yday mornin, jus like Sorrow card, I tot I was fine. I don't feel attack. Then 2 incident happens and I felt it. So vulnerable, so shaky my hard-earned peace.
5. The understanding - Control.
Controlled person are always nervous because deep down turmoil is still hidden.
If u r uncontrolled, flowing, alive, then u r not nervous. Whatsoever happens, happens.
Take a deep breathe, loosen our neckties. If mistakes happen, its okay. If things get a little out of hand, its probably just what the doctor ordered.
There is much, much more to life than being "on top of things".
Soul
I can now act spontaneously. As for nervousness, still
Father, guess when CEO attack me. Its no so much love per se. But I guess when she dare to attack me, I perceive that she thinks m not useful or valuable to her. Because, she can control her emotion. She only explode whenever she felt she can get away with it.
So, this is my valueless mode that was triggered.
Our fragile peace is easily triggered by hidden fear
Jul 26 Even
Today saw Osho card on Sadness as internal issue. I wonder why the card? I am not sad.
Alas, today small scolding from the CEO and I was affected. Father, why I am still affected. What happened to my peace of mind, that so little can trigger it.
I tot, it wasn't necessary for her to take such a harsh tone. No one is judging her, why is she defending herself. Why does she always play the victim mode, like the world force it on her. Why made her life difficult.
Alas, mirror on me. Why I tot the world force me to justify my existence, when it was me who pushed myself. I made my life difficult. Just now, was bit disturbed with the scolding and then small tat with GM cos I need to assert the payment policy. Start to think people doesn't want me, start to think negatively. I know this has to do with the valuation mode.
Father, guide me. I affirm that I am lovable and attract only loving people and loving circumstances.
(Aug 13 - I realised my root sadness is the feeling of being unwanted, rejected. Anyway, now that it is no longer hidden, I can see the present situation more objectively, rather than being carried away by my past. Amen. Thanks for sending CEO as my mirror)
Osho - Nanak
Nanak -Through contemplation, you cease to bear the brunt of Life.
Buddha - If the lamp is burning within and if awareness stand guard in the house, no obstacles or hindrance dare enter within you.
One single lamp illuminates the whole interior and all fears flee. Once the house is lighted, u can see whatever danger there is, u can always find ways to deal with it.
Now you are as changeable as the seasons. There is nothing stable within you, nothing crystallised, so u have to bear a slap in the face every moment.
Soul
Tell me about it. I felt like back to square one. A tot came - Nope. Okie, at least I am aware. Even my response to GM was on the valuation mode for compliance to Regional policy.
But these seem never-ending. When will I be lifted up from these mundane and insignificant matters?
Osho
If there were only one hindrance, u could get rid of it, but they are infinite. Destroy one, ten more take its place. If u keep grappling with each, hoping to eradicate them one by one, u will never succeed.
A method is needed to finish it once and for all. And he who shows u this method, the gur, is the guru.
(Aug 13 - I was laughing when I read this. Tell me about it, never-ending stories. But now I know at least I can shorten the lenght of the stories..)
Osho - Nanak
Continue with the repetition of Omkar and let it reach the non-repeating state, then u find ur eyes opened. Then there are no obstructions, for these are but ur creations. There is no outside enemy to be vanquished.
You are ur own enemy. Your insensitivity is ur enemy and because of it u r emeshed in endless entanglements. No matter how cautious u r, u keep adding fresh hindrances at every step.
There are people who regulate their lives with control and restraint. They must take each step carefully so as not to go astray. But restraint is not the end; awareness is the ultimate goal.
The invitation to wander is always beckoning inside. A person who practices self-denial and controls his every action must always be afraid, for within him, the imprisoned passion continue boiling.
(Aug 13 - all the 3 bosses from hell are also very passionate. I gues I am also passionate inwardly.)
Soul
My wandering mind. And also today my Osho card talk about letting go of my control strategy. Also, perhaps I do have suppressed anger for not defending myself.
Osho
The gateway is within u, the wandering is within u, the obstructions are within u, the paths are within u.
When once the lamp is lit, you can see in both directions; what is truth and what is untruth.
Under the light of the lamp, all desire is seen as untruth and to follow desire is the mundane world. As the light burns within u, u will see that desirelessness (neither expectations nor attachments) is truth and also the gateway to liberation.
What is the mundane world but an eternal round of begging for alms? Just observe urself. What r u doing in ur neediness? All 24 hours, u r wanting, ur arms stretched out in desire.
Through contemplation, ur begging ceases. Rememberance makes a king of u, an emperor; it releases u from begging. Contemplation gives all and moves u beyond desire.
Soul
Very timely msg for me.
Today saw Osho card on Sadness as internal issue. I wonder why the card? I am not sad.
Alas, today small scolding from the CEO and I was affected. Father, why I am still affected. What happened to my peace of mind, that so little can trigger it.
I tot, it wasn't necessary for her to take such a harsh tone. No one is judging her, why is she defending herself. Why does she always play the victim mode, like the world force it on her. Why made her life difficult.
Alas, mirror on me. Why I tot the world force me to justify my existence, when it was me who pushed myself. I made my life difficult. Just now, was bit disturbed with the scolding and then small tat with GM cos I need to assert the payment policy. Start to think people doesn't want me, start to think negatively. I know this has to do with the valuation mode.
Father, guide me. I affirm that I am lovable and attract only loving people and loving circumstances.
(Aug 13 - I realised my root sadness is the feeling of being unwanted, rejected. Anyway, now that it is no longer hidden, I can see the present situation more objectively, rather than being carried away by my past. Amen. Thanks for sending CEO as my mirror)
Osho - Nanak
Nanak -Through contemplation, you cease to bear the brunt of Life.
Buddha - If the lamp is burning within and if awareness stand guard in the house, no obstacles or hindrance dare enter within you.
One single lamp illuminates the whole interior and all fears flee. Once the house is lighted, u can see whatever danger there is, u can always find ways to deal with it.
Now you are as changeable as the seasons. There is nothing stable within you, nothing crystallised, so u have to bear a slap in the face every moment.
Soul
Tell me about it. I felt like back to square one. A tot came - Nope. Okie, at least I am aware. Even my response to GM was on the valuation mode for compliance to Regional policy.
But these seem never-ending. When will I be lifted up from these mundane and insignificant matters?
Osho
If there were only one hindrance, u could get rid of it, but they are infinite. Destroy one, ten more take its place. If u keep grappling with each, hoping to eradicate them one by one, u will never succeed.
A method is needed to finish it once and for all. And he who shows u this method, the gur, is the guru.
(Aug 13 - I was laughing when I read this. Tell me about it, never-ending stories. But now I know at least I can shorten the lenght of the stories..)
Osho - Nanak
Continue with the repetition of Omkar and let it reach the non-repeating state, then u find ur eyes opened. Then there are no obstructions, for these are but ur creations. There is no outside enemy to be vanquished.
You are ur own enemy. Your insensitivity is ur enemy and because of it u r emeshed in endless entanglements. No matter how cautious u r, u keep adding fresh hindrances at every step.
There are people who regulate their lives with control and restraint. They must take each step carefully so as not to go astray. But restraint is not the end; awareness is the ultimate goal.
The invitation to wander is always beckoning inside. A person who practices self-denial and controls his every action must always be afraid, for within him, the imprisoned passion continue boiling.
(Aug 13 - all the 3 bosses from hell are also very passionate. I gues I am also passionate inwardly.)
Soul
My wandering mind. And also today my Osho card talk about letting go of my control strategy. Also, perhaps I do have suppressed anger for not defending myself.
Osho
The gateway is within u, the wandering is within u, the obstructions are within u, the paths are within u.
When once the lamp is lit, you can see in both directions; what is truth and what is untruth.
Under the light of the lamp, all desire is seen as untruth and to follow desire is the mundane world. As the light burns within u, u will see that desirelessness (neither expectations nor attachments) is truth and also the gateway to liberation.
What is the mundane world but an eternal round of begging for alms? Just observe urself. What r u doing in ur neediness? All 24 hours, u r wanting, ur arms stretched out in desire.
Through contemplation, ur begging ceases. Rememberance makes a king of u, an emperor; it releases u from begging. Contemplation gives all and moves u beyond desire.
Soul
Very timely msg for me.
Jul 26
Father, on last Fri, I seem to feel part of me woke up to switch off alarm clock, took yoga mat to do practices. I recalled, I said that I just can't do it. My body was too tired and went back to sleep. Then I woke up when alarm at 6.30 am. from Sat till today, I woke up much earlier than the alarm clock.
Radical Forgiveness
The very fact that someone exhibited really quite peculiar kind of behaviour was a clue that something else was going on beneath the apparent situation.
Remember no one enjoy being a mean-spirited jerk.
Soul
Tot of C's behaviour on the cd. Really peculiar. Not her at all. After me chasing her to purchase and now didn't want to give me.
One thing I noted is that I don't think I be card reader per se. I used it as a tool. Also, it can be misused.
Also, Radical Forgiveness fit me cos my forte is Insight that give rise to epiphany for myself and others.
Radical Forgiveness
It is a principle of RF that if u have a limiting belief which prevents u from becoming whole or from achieving ur true purpose, your higher Self will always find a way to acquaint you with ur limiting belief so u can heal it.
It can't intervene directly, because u have free will. But it can, through the Law of Attraction, bring into ur life someone who will act out your belief for u so u can see it for what it is and choose to let it go.
Soul
Tot of S, even here he can found himself being persecuted. I am here to help him end the vicious cycle of attracting not good situation.
Of cos, me attracting bosses from hell and challenging jobs, finally saw my miscreation due to my belief that valuation leads to lovability.
Radical Forgiveness
1. Telling the story - find someone to willing to listen compassionately and honours it as being our truth in the moment.
2. Feeling the feelings - healing journey is essentially an emotional one.
3. Collapsing the story
Most of our victim stories have their genesis in early childhood, when we imagined that the whole world revolved around us and that everything was our fault.
Now we can bring our adult perspective to bear and confront our inner child with the plain truth of what really did or didn't happen, as distinct from our interpretations about what we think happened. This is to release our attachment to the story.
4. Reframing the story
Shift our perception that we become willing to see it from being a tragedy to become an event that we needed for our growth; ie it was meant to happen and it is perfect.
Father, on last Fri, I seem to feel part of me woke up to switch off alarm clock, took yoga mat to do practices. I recalled, I said that I just can't do it. My body was too tired and went back to sleep. Then I woke up when alarm at 6.30 am. from Sat till today, I woke up much earlier than the alarm clock.
Radical Forgiveness
The very fact that someone exhibited really quite peculiar kind of behaviour was a clue that something else was going on beneath the apparent situation.
Remember no one enjoy being a mean-spirited jerk.
Soul
Tot of C's behaviour on the cd. Really peculiar. Not her at all. After me chasing her to purchase and now didn't want to give me.
One thing I noted is that I don't think I be card reader per se. I used it as a tool. Also, it can be misused.
Also, Radical Forgiveness fit me cos my forte is Insight that give rise to epiphany for myself and others.
Radical Forgiveness
It is a principle of RF that if u have a limiting belief which prevents u from becoming whole or from achieving ur true purpose, your higher Self will always find a way to acquaint you with ur limiting belief so u can heal it.
It can't intervene directly, because u have free will. But it can, through the Law of Attraction, bring into ur life someone who will act out your belief for u so u can see it for what it is and choose to let it go.
Soul
Tot of S, even here he can found himself being persecuted. I am here to help him end the vicious cycle of attracting not good situation.
Of cos, me attracting bosses from hell and challenging jobs, finally saw my miscreation due to my belief that valuation leads to lovability.
Radical Forgiveness
1. Telling the story - find someone to willing to listen compassionately and honours it as being our truth in the moment.
2. Feeling the feelings - healing journey is essentially an emotional one.
3. Collapsing the story
Most of our victim stories have their genesis in early childhood, when we imagined that the whole world revolved around us and that everything was our fault.
Now we can bring our adult perspective to bear and confront our inner child with the plain truth of what really did or didn't happen, as distinct from our interpretations about what we think happened. This is to release our attachment to the story.
4. Reframing the story
Shift our perception that we become willing to see it from being a tragedy to become an event that we needed for our growth; ie it was meant to happen and it is perfect.
Thoughts are an addiction that has no answer
Jul 23 Even
Soul
Today slept for 3.5 hour nap. Was feeling bit groggy after such long nap. Was thinking whether to do my practices since its late. Maybe have dinner while its hot.
Anyway, didn't listen to my mind. I did my practices, grogginess gone.
Actually meditation is much more restful than sleep. I felt refreshed after practices.
Osho - Nanak
All suffering arise because of ur identification with thoughts. Thoughts have brought u nothing but unhappiness and suffering, but u r not even conscious enough to realise that all suffering coincides wit tots, and bliss occurs only in the state of no-thoughts.
What is sin?
What have u been doing in the past? You have identified totally wit ur tots, constantly turning them into action and this is sin.
Stand away from ur tots, actions will crumble, the doer will be lost and all connection with the past will snap.
The act of eradicating doing is witnessing and to witness means shravana.
If a tot comes, u come along with it; when tots are not, u r not. Since ego is the name given to a collection of tots, shravana also means the ego-less state.
Through shravana alone u know the yoga and the secrets of the body. Contentment is attained.
As long as u think, u r discontented, because tots lead to thousands of suggestions; do this, do that! Tots give rise to new desires and desires lead to discontent. It is all right to use tots, but if u begin to obey them, u r in for all kind of trouble.
Tots are like drugs; if u got addicted to them, u go astray and will be confused that you won't know what to do. Tots are an addiction that has no answer. Had there been answer, u would have reached home long ago.
A real answer can only be found in the no-tot state.
Soul
Mmm, today I wander why people have difficulty in decision making. For me, its quite easy. Once decided, I act and then it is passed off.
CEO cannot even make decision on her own PA, choosing one from two candidates. I am puzzled. And then this morning, another person called for info to make decision. I didn't like it cos I think people shld think and decide for themselves. Whats so difficult about making decision??
I started to write an article but stop cos don't the reason why it is difficult for people to make decision. I did pray for an answer.
Now answer came - it is due to too many tots comin. Everytime they say yes, a no comes in. I know CEO has many tots and she is not aware yet. No wonder she cannot make decision.
Osho - Nanak
Mahavira
Shravika - one who has learned the art of listening; he know how to listen and understands what listening means.
There are some who must keep on performing sadhanas in order to arrive. This is necessary for those who are not yet adept at hearing, because if u can listen ---- totally --- there is nothing more to do be done to reach the other shore.
All gurus, all religions aim at one thing only; how to break the constant dialogue within.
Whether we call it yoga or meditation or repetition of mantra, the aim is to break the constant internal flow of words in order to create an empty space within.
When words fall into silence within u, u reach the place where all creation is born and where it becomes extinct.
Soul
Today slept for 3.5 hour nap. Was feeling bit groggy after such long nap. Was thinking whether to do my practices since its late. Maybe have dinner while its hot.
Anyway, didn't listen to my mind. I did my practices, grogginess gone.
Actually meditation is much more restful than sleep. I felt refreshed after practices.
Osho - Nanak
All suffering arise because of ur identification with thoughts. Thoughts have brought u nothing but unhappiness and suffering, but u r not even conscious enough to realise that all suffering coincides wit tots, and bliss occurs only in the state of no-thoughts.
What is sin?
What have u been doing in the past? You have identified totally wit ur tots, constantly turning them into action and this is sin.
Stand away from ur tots, actions will crumble, the doer will be lost and all connection with the past will snap.
The act of eradicating doing is witnessing and to witness means shravana.
If a tot comes, u come along with it; when tots are not, u r not. Since ego is the name given to a collection of tots, shravana also means the ego-less state.
Through shravana alone u know the yoga and the secrets of the body. Contentment is attained.
As long as u think, u r discontented, because tots lead to thousands of suggestions; do this, do that! Tots give rise to new desires and desires lead to discontent. It is all right to use tots, but if u begin to obey them, u r in for all kind of trouble.
Tots are like drugs; if u got addicted to them, u go astray and will be confused that you won't know what to do. Tots are an addiction that has no answer. Had there been answer, u would have reached home long ago.
A real answer can only be found in the no-tot state.
Soul
Mmm, today I wander why people have difficulty in decision making. For me, its quite easy. Once decided, I act and then it is passed off.
CEO cannot even make decision on her own PA, choosing one from two candidates. I am puzzled. And then this morning, another person called for info to make decision. I didn't like it cos I think people shld think and decide for themselves. Whats so difficult about making decision??
I started to write an article but stop cos don't the reason why it is difficult for people to make decision. I did pray for an answer.
Now answer came - it is due to too many tots comin. Everytime they say yes, a no comes in. I know CEO has many tots and she is not aware yet. No wonder she cannot make decision.
Osho - Nanak
Mahavira
Shravika - one who has learned the art of listening; he know how to listen and understands what listening means.
There are some who must keep on performing sadhanas in order to arrive. This is necessary for those who are not yet adept at hearing, because if u can listen ---- totally --- there is nothing more to do be done to reach the other shore.
All gurus, all religions aim at one thing only; how to break the constant dialogue within.
Whether we call it yoga or meditation or repetition of mantra, the aim is to break the constant internal flow of words in order to create an empty space within.
When words fall into silence within u, u reach the place where all creation is born and where it becomes extinct.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
We hooked to tots
Jul 22 Evenin
Osho - Nanak
Many a time u will forget to be a witness; u will ride the horse again and set out on your journey of thoughts, involved once again.
If u identify yourself with some tot, then u will have failed; as soon as u become aware of this, get off the horse and let the words, the thoughts, go where they will without riding them.
Just keep watching.
Soul
Coincidentally now doing tots watching. M learning to let my tots be. Don't follow it.
Today, wanted to be Radical Forgiveness coach and checked the website. Surprisingly, the Satir counselling course is postponed also. The timing seem incredible.
Osho - Nanak
Gradually, u will begin to hear the footsteps of silence and experience the art of listening.
Then, when u r qualified to listen, u no longer need look for a guru, because wherever you are, there the guru is.
Under all conditions, u will hear. Once u have learned the art of listening, u will be filled with joy, because then u have become the witness; and the witness is joy itself.
Bliss is to go beyond the mind.
Soul
Slowly but surely I have been experiencing this
Osho - Nanak
Many a time u will forget to be a witness; u will ride the horse again and set out on your journey of thoughts, involved once again.
If u identify yourself with some tot, then u will have failed; as soon as u become aware of this, get off the horse and let the words, the thoughts, go where they will without riding them.
Just keep watching.
Soul
Coincidentally now doing tots watching. M learning to let my tots be. Don't follow it.
Today, wanted to be Radical Forgiveness coach and checked the website. Surprisingly, the Satir counselling course is postponed also. The timing seem incredible.
Osho - Nanak
Gradually, u will begin to hear the footsteps of silence and experience the art of listening.
Then, when u r qualified to listen, u no longer need look for a guru, because wherever you are, there the guru is.
Under all conditions, u will hear. Once u have learned the art of listening, u will be filled with joy, because then u have become the witness; and the witness is joy itself.
Bliss is to go beyond the mind.
Soul
Slowly but surely I have been experiencing this
Journey continues
Jul 22
Father, today the breathing meditation was so good. I really savour and the moment of gap before every breathe is so peaceful, such silence. Then I did shambavi, at first was bit stiff but later loosen up and I experienced silence.
When I was meditating, tots come in. This time I am learning to let them go, don't want to be hooked. For those good/useful tot, I will say thank u, but tell me later cos now not the right time. For those defensive/worrying tot, I try to let them go, was successful 50 percent of time.
Today, suddenly I realised both C and Ph is acting the same. Withholding things from me and both their behaviours is not common for them. While I have every right to demand. I really wanted to know what's my lesson here.
Tot if they gave me, I got something to work on. Knowing me, I will be good at it and of cos will be proud and feel valuable.
Am wondering whether this is my valueless lesson. I just decided to be valueless last week and now start encountering. Wonder if both of them is playing a role to help me to stay on with the valueless mode for awhile.
Not sure if this is right, but at least I no longer have defensive tot on them.
Radical Forgiveness
The seemingly haphazard events of our lives are attributed to the unfolding of divine plan, decided upon in advance, and completely purposeful in terms of our spiritual growth.
The more we surrender to this unfoldment without trying to control it, the more peaceful we become
At first blush, this seems a fatalistic viewpoint, but this is not just fate. In truth, the divine plan allows us a great deal of creativity and flexibility and continues to honor the principle of free will.
We continue to co-create with Spirit the circumstances of our lives and, without exception to get precisely what we want. The extent to which we resist (judge) what we get determines whether we experience life as painful or joyful.
Mastery of the life experiences, then, relies on our entering life fuller and trusting that we are taken care of and supported all the time, no matter what.
Soul
When I was thinkin of d contract. I said I need time to read so can meet deadline. Then I tot the deadline can shift since it is internal and besides I don't have to strive to meet it. As long, I kept Regional posted.
I told myself, trust the Existence to provide everything I need.
Soul
Father, when I first read this book on Radical Forgiveness. I tot that's my belief system. Now I m reading the part whereby a gal study to become a Radical Forgiveness coach and I suddenly tot its right for me.
For a few weeks, I have been hesistant on 7thunder. Wasn't as excited as I tot I wld be. Once I did my lifespread, interest waned. And to me, it is a good tool but I don't want to be a Card Reader. I don't want to study systems and etc. I want to use my Insight/Intuition to help people. For me, 7thunder is a good tool and a guide.
Radical Forgiveness
In the 13 steps process, we reframed the perception of the situation in such a way that it reflect spiritual truth - that the energy collapsed.
At no point did we "work" on her story. That would only have given it more power. Instead we used the holo-energetic technology of Radical Forgiveness to transform the energy.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my radical changed of perception on C and P's uncommon behaviours which I have full justification to wrath. I didn't wan to wrath and asked ego to stay quiet and I don't want to react and just stay with the situation. But suddenly I saw the similarity and asked for an alternative perception and I received the valueless lesson.
Father, a tot came. Could it be I am afraid to confront them out of fear of appearing not nice. Don't know lah. Anyway, no reaction for this week.
I am choosing valueless first until You gave me an answer cos there is no rush.
Afternoon
Just received d file from Ph at 11.30 am. I wonder if RF works.
Father, today the breathing meditation was so good. I really savour and the moment of gap before every breathe is so peaceful, such silence. Then I did shambavi, at first was bit stiff but later loosen up and I experienced silence.
When I was meditating, tots come in. This time I am learning to let them go, don't want to be hooked. For those good/useful tot, I will say thank u, but tell me later cos now not the right time. For those defensive/worrying tot, I try to let them go, was successful 50 percent of time.
Today, suddenly I realised both C and Ph is acting the same. Withholding things from me and both their behaviours is not common for them. While I have every right to demand. I really wanted to know what's my lesson here.
Tot if they gave me, I got something to work on. Knowing me, I will be good at it and of cos will be proud and feel valuable.
Am wondering whether this is my valueless lesson. I just decided to be valueless last week and now start encountering. Wonder if both of them is playing a role to help me to stay on with the valueless mode for awhile.
Not sure if this is right, but at least I no longer have defensive tot on them.
Radical Forgiveness
The seemingly haphazard events of our lives are attributed to the unfolding of divine plan, decided upon in advance, and completely purposeful in terms of our spiritual growth.
The more we surrender to this unfoldment without trying to control it, the more peaceful we become
At first blush, this seems a fatalistic viewpoint, but this is not just fate. In truth, the divine plan allows us a great deal of creativity and flexibility and continues to honor the principle of free will.
We continue to co-create with Spirit the circumstances of our lives and, without exception to get precisely what we want. The extent to which we resist (judge) what we get determines whether we experience life as painful or joyful.
Mastery of the life experiences, then, relies on our entering life fuller and trusting that we are taken care of and supported all the time, no matter what.
Soul
When I was thinkin of d contract. I said I need time to read so can meet deadline. Then I tot the deadline can shift since it is internal and besides I don't have to strive to meet it. As long, I kept Regional posted.
I told myself, trust the Existence to provide everything I need.
Soul
Father, when I first read this book on Radical Forgiveness. I tot that's my belief system. Now I m reading the part whereby a gal study to become a Radical Forgiveness coach and I suddenly tot its right for me.
For a few weeks, I have been hesistant on 7thunder. Wasn't as excited as I tot I wld be. Once I did my lifespread, interest waned. And to me, it is a good tool but I don't want to be a Card Reader. I don't want to study systems and etc. I want to use my Insight/Intuition to help people. For me, 7thunder is a good tool and a guide.
Radical Forgiveness
In the 13 steps process, we reframed the perception of the situation in such a way that it reflect spiritual truth - that the energy collapsed.
At no point did we "work" on her story. That would only have given it more power. Instead we used the holo-energetic technology of Radical Forgiveness to transform the energy.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my radical changed of perception on C and P's uncommon behaviours which I have full justification to wrath. I didn't wan to wrath and asked ego to stay quiet and I don't want to react and just stay with the situation. But suddenly I saw the similarity and asked for an alternative perception and I received the valueless lesson.
Father, a tot came. Could it be I am afraid to confront them out of fear of appearing not nice. Don't know lah. Anyway, no reaction for this week.
I am choosing valueless first until You gave me an answer cos there is no rush.
Afternoon
Just received d file from Ph at 11.30 am. I wonder if RF works.
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