Just accept where you are - go with the flow (4)

Aug 12

Father, hatha yoga was effortless. I slept during breathing meditation. Woke up and did my shambavi, I went deep inward during meditation. Only one thing in my mind - My life is effortless. My love life is effortless. My work is effortless.

Yday, Regional praised me and said I am now the model FD. She asked if I like to help out on sbox. I told her that I did what I have to cos I want my 4 days week. As for volunteering, m busy with closing new deals. Father, I no longer need to prove my valuation.

When I was driving here, I told myself I have ate and sleep loads and now I wan to experience love. Yday, in the cantonese drama show, the guy says he didn't wan to try out love as the possibility of return is small but the payout is so monumental. His friend says that is fearful talks, fear of being hurt, he must have hurt before by girlfriend or mother.
I tot of myself, am I still afraid? Am I so fragile? Nope, I am ok. I am willing to take the risk. Just wan to go with the flow, wherever it may lead me.

Osho
1. Issue - Participation.
Make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy.
You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to create something greater and more beautiful than each of u could manage alone. Your participation not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

Soul
The tamil IE pgm is coming up. I will help to promote.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Possibilities.
You are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to u. Becos u have grown more loving towards urself, more self contained, u work easily with others. Becos u r relaxed, u can recognised possibilities as they present themselves.
Becos u r in tune with ur own nature, u understand that existence is providing u with exactly what u need.

Soul
Hope so. But my mind can have such conflict, fear still there. A tot came - courage is to act despite the fear.

3. External influence of which u r aware - Schizophrenia.
Man is split. You cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality ... Happiness is not possible. Unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.
The whole purpose of Zen is how to drop this split personality, how to drop the divided mind, how to become undivided, integrated, centered, crystalised.
The only way out is to let go of both conflicting tots. You can't work ur way out of this by solving, by list of pros and cons. Better follow ur heart, if u can find it.
If u can't, just jump.

Soul
Well, I did jump despite not sure. Create an opening. Still not sure but I will play it by ear. Besides take it with a pinch of salt. Need not be serious, just play lah.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Mind
The cloud in ur mind has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop it that it will disappear. You are clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.
Remember that the mind is meant to be a servant and not be allowed to run our lives.

Soul
Noted. My heart has been closed for so many years. Last 2 days, I prayed for my heart to open. I am ready to give up some power from my mind to my heart. I want to open up my heart. I want to hear what it says, what it want. I am ready to be let my heart guide me partially.

5. Resolution - Success.
Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong being with the valley, being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
Enjoy ur success and welcome it, share it. Its ok that it will end.


Soul
I tot that it answer my fear abt yea, my heart flutter with excitement when I am near him but the downside is too much to bear. Not sure I wan to take the risk to embark such risky adventure.