God loves me

Jul 17
Father, regretted in sharing my discovery of my belief in lovability with my close friend.
She didn't bring up the topic at all. Towards the end, she brought up the matter of her buying something that she doesn't wan because she want to help. To me, it was another compulsive behaviour seeking validation from people. And also another 'ploy' so she doesn't have to open her door.
She says its best not to analyse. If u know who you are, there is no need to analyse. I just replied people has many layers. In my mind, I tot, no one truly knows who they are.
She says that she is now generous after her path. Wish I could agree with her. I just smiled.
I have outgrown her. I tot she would open her door but she is still there.

And she asked me when did I start to wear jade. That question also irks me a bit. To her, one shouldn't change and want other things. Perhaps, its just her not wanting to change.
What about me? I am sad that I have no one to shared with but m glad I made the peeling. Analyses and Insight would be my gift to the world. Perhaps for other people, analyses paralyse, but not for me.
Father, who knows she is able to surrender to U and let U take charge. I can't at the moment.

This morning, my practice was amazing. So fluid and I felt such deep connection. When I swam, I was floating. No longer worry abt destination, jus enjoy floating. Whenever I reach the end, I don't even have to wait for a few seconds, laughter just erupt from within me. Such joy.

Father, now I know why food no longer held much fascination to me. My joy from meditation and swimming is much more than my joy in tasting food. So, its not a matter of interest waning in food, but more of I found alternative mode of joy. And the joy I experienced is much more than I ever experienced with food.

Osho - Nanak
Existence has loved u, desired u, made u. It does not matter what u r like; it is still giving u life. You are already the loved one.
But u turn ur back to him, afraid of his love. You run away and hide just when he wishes to fill ur being. When Nanaks speaks of winning His Love, he means to become upright, stand facing Him, and shed all fear.
When ur vessel is filled with His love, it will shower all around u. There is no end to His Grace. Once u know that, the grace from above never ceases to pour. Then no matter how much u give, ur vessel is always brimming.

The guru is one whose vessel is so filled with God's love that he can contain it no more. As he begins to overflow, other vessels are filled through him. His vessel is so full that now he is capable of giving. When the cloud is saturated, it must rain. Then only can it become light. The flower saturated with fragrance, must give it up to the winds.

It is only out of fear that u overturned ur vessel, fear that it may be filled with something unwanted or wrong. It is out of fear u have closed all doors. When u close ur door, neither the their nor beloved can come in.
You are so afraid of something entering that u have covered the opening and then cry that u r empty.
If u go against the wind or the flow of the river, u will have to struggle and what will be the outcome. You will never arrive, u will only get tired.
The more we ignore His support, the more effort we have to make, because then we have to do what normally he would have done for us. We have substitute our labour for His.
You are fighting existence; there u break. You become old and decrepit because ur life is one long struggle.

Soul
My new belief; Life is not easy, why make it more difficult?
Of cos now; Life is good.

Osho - Nanak
Wherever u bath, there will be the Ganges.
It makes no difference what u do; the real question is ur own self.
When u r different, the most ordinary stream becomes the Ganges; but if u r no different from the ordinary, then even the holy waters of the Ganges become ordinary.
So it is a question of u being ordinary or non-ordinary.
Ordinary is to live without His rememberance.
Extraordinariness is to live with His remembrance. Accept losing everything but not His remembrance.

Soul
Every swimming pool is now like Teethakoon to me.
Even my bed is energised as I laugh almost everynight just before I sleep