God/Existence loves me (3)

Jul 20

Father, my mornin practices is getting better. My asanas, I just focus on d moment and complete all. As for plough back asana, I was able to hold comfortably with fingers holding big toes for a long time. As for breathing, I felt I go in much deeper.

I woke up at abt 3 am, tot of alarm bell, then tot it cld be a dream and slept back.
I slept back and dreamt abt youngest sis and her husband. We were sitting on a moving train that is high above. Sis was not frightened at all and even dare to move from her seat. Towards the end, I tot, they are not fearful like me, so I finally looked down and away, seeing the beautiful city. Then I woke up by alarm ring.

When I was meditating, tot of C, but I let it pass. Then when I was driving, tot of C came back with ego intact. I tot my mind won't let me rest. Just when I finally overcome CEO, u gave me another one. Today, I don't wan to do anything, just rest. I know d cd is abt C's issue. Even if its envy or etc., let her be. Besides, I myself also not rushing.

Osho
1. The Issue - Letting go
In existence, there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The blade of grass and the great star are absolutely equal.
The innocent is one who has renounced fighting; no longer interested being higher, no longer interested in performing, in proving he is someone special.
Something is finished and completing. Something greater is awaiting u, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work. Go with it - it represents liberation.

Soul
Yeap, I have let go my valuation mode. I no longer want to prove myself.
Don't know what is coming. I just wan to savour this period of freedom.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Maturity
Wherever u r, an eternal spring will be there, and the flowers will continue to shower on you. This is spiritual spring.
The figure stand alone, silent and yet alert. Inner being is being filled with flowers that carries the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes.
He can move in any direction - within and without, it makes no difference as his joy and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centredness and expansiveness - the white glow is his protection and light.
All his life experiences have brought him to this time of perfection.
You are now receiving a gift for ur hard work done.
Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.

Soul
I know its there within. And I can see my joy flowing out. Like they says, I looked bubbly and cheerful and enjoying myself.

3. External of which u r aware
Integration
The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within u.
Rather than night opposing day, dark suppresing light, they work together to create a unified whole, turning endlessly one into the other, each containing at its deepest core, the seed of the opposite.
This card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical union.

Soul
Thank U.

4. What is needed for resolution. No-thingness.
Nothing is not just nothing, it is all. It is vibrant with possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all.
Being in the gap can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead.
All u can do is now relax into this No-thingness and watch the gap between outgoing and incoming breathe and treasure each empty moment of experience.
Something sacred is about to be born.

Soul
I experienced this empty moment. Nothing and yet so full. It is even more full than my feeling of joy.
Tot of C holding back d cd. Who knows perhaps God is holding it back and want me to experience d cards.

5. The understanding
Existence
Existence needs u. Nobody can replace u. This gives u a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that u r related to existence and existence cares for u.
Once u r clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Home is an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance.
Savour it so that it can deepen and remain with u.

Soul
I am savouring. For the first time, I can finally relate to this card. I know now Existence love me. It was me who turn away and created my own suffering. Amen.