My body has accepted the 4 hours sleep

Jul 28

Father, today woke up around 4.20 am before alarm clock. Did my practices. Father, these days I prefer the asanas. No longer felt such love for suria as before. But I noticed I am focused on every cycle instead of thinking abt the end.

Was having negative tot of CEO. Judging her and etc. In the end, she is all that I judged but key question is it affected me. And the reason is becos of my valuation mode.
Also glad that I handled the cd issue with C. She hasn't done anything yet as not only was she renovating her house, also office and other things. I guess she worries that I judged her.
valuation mode. Actually only little scolding yet I am triggered. Aiyah, osho card on sorrow is really true. I cried a bit during suria and lots during resting position. Good release.

I asked on where the valuation arise and the figure of a friend's mother comes to my mind. Firstly, valuation mode is destined as I am a diamond. But the lack of valuation was caused by?? I recall that when she chastised me and family for being poor. I told myself I will make money and be able to afford all the food that I want to eat. Don't have to depend on anyone. As the reason I went to their place is for the food, I don't really like the daughter as a friend and I dislike the mother too.
Father, 1st best friend LH - food; 2nd best friend MP - food. Even the neighbours, all of them gave me good food and I stayed becos of food eventhough I was not happy with them.

(Aug 13 - Father, in past live, I married for money. In this life, I seems to make friends based on 'food'. As long as they gave me good food, I will accompany them, be their friends, even if I don't really like them, we don't click'. I used to think I am accepting, the truth is I live for the 'good food' they gave me. Looks like I could be repeating my past, albeit in a different form.)

Father, help me.

Saw Osho card. Remind me Existence cares for me and ask me to take a break and relax into my new Home. Even if things get a little out of hand, its probably just what the doctor ordered.


Radical Forgiveness
4. Reframing the story.
At times we will be able to see the perfection right away and learn the lesson immediately.
However, more often, it is a matter of giving up the need to figure it out and surrendering to the ideas that the gift is contained in the situation, whether we know or not.

It is that act of surrender that the real lesson of love is learned and the gift received.
This is also the step of transformation, for as we begin to become open to seeing the divine perfection in what happened, our victim stories, which were once vehicles for anger, bitterness and resentment, become transformed into stories of appreciation, gratitude and loving acceptance.

Soul
My victim story on CEO has turn around and I do appreciate the mirror and now the chance to feel my unlovingness within me. To know that I am easily triggered like her too.
Just be patient and let the gratitude comes.

5. Integration.
Once we can feel gratitude and see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level.
That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so that it becomes a part of who we are. Its like saving what u have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent.
Satori Breathwork is a good way to integrate the change. Breathing and releasing the repressed emotion.

(Aug 13 - I am attending Soul Sisters workshop that will open up my heart)

Soul
Yday, I tot, my response is internal unlike CEO. She project it out and scold people. For me, it went in and I repressed it and I become disturbed and depressed. So, just cry it out. Cry out the sorrow. Let it all out. Will do more during meditation.

Radical Forgiveness
5. Integration
Ritual, ceremony and of course, music are all used to integrate the shift in perception that is Radical Forgiveness.

These 5 stages don't necessarily occur in just this order. Very often, we move through them, or some of them at least or we keep coming back and forth from one stage to another in a kind of circular or spiraling fashion.

Soul
Mmm, just like Isha pgm. Father, my healing is just using the mind and shift in perception. Am not sure of using rituals and music.
But I know I do believe and experience music.
First tot, I don't think I wan to follow RF.
Mmm, tot I need a partner to provide all the other back up if I follow RF
Now jus tot, mine is Insight and writing. Just follow myself.