Contentment within and compassion without

Jul 29 After
This morning, still not able to fake it. I tot perhaps I can google on abandonment issue or "not enough" issue that trigger our need to feel required/respected/acknowledged etc. Couldn't find anything. Then suddenly tot of checking personalitypage as I have helped both S and W to identify strength and weakness.
I tot perhaps, I didn't have to dig my past, just see what are my weakness and improve on it.

Read about me being an introvert, basically don't need people affirmation and not sensitive to more than half of population that require validation and feedback. Also says that I have difficulty in feeling myself and tot people don't feel.
My best partner has to be thinkers like me too. ENTP (Executive) and ESTJ (Guardian). No wonder I clicked with S as he is ENTP. Both Guardian and Executive are leaders, just like me
I only need to work on being sensitive to feeling people and knows that they need feedback/validation.
Was thinking that P a heart person, can cry easily. So nice. Me, difficult to express. Anyway, now no romantic rshipl, cannot practice yet but will focus on expressing myself.

I am highly intelligent and only position myself in comfortable situation, doing what I like. My growth will come from placing myself in uncomfortable positon. Tot of me and CEO. I am definitely not comfortable. So, looks at this towards my growth since I cannot find my gratitude towards her yet, despite she being my mirror for valuation mode.

Father, amazing thing happen. I went in just to see her for a meeting, supposed to be 15 min. But we talked abt biz and suddenly a simple update turns into an Annual Plan for next year and update of remaining year forecast. Meeting last about 1 hour. This is what I want. For the first time, we have biz plan before OPP.
She thanked me and I thanked her for helping me to plan for OPP.

When I walked out, I wonder why we get along well. I recalled my rship card with her that we have MARS energy and will need to work together. I felt good and appreciate her in taking direction for the Company. She is fully aware we r on full hiring and need to plan for next year to 'feed' the new enlarged staffing. Otherwise have to cut staff again. I am proud of her.

Then a tot came, when she asked me what she did as CEO. I just says building rship. Why I didn't say about her leading and driving the company. Providing direction. How could I have forget that? No wonder she was so hurt. I didn't validate and she of all people needs tons of validation.

Suddenly occurred to me. Of all the people I am with, she is the only one that demand for my attention/validation. Other people will just feel hurt and slide off or just accept me. She always demand and even threaten me for my attention.
I guess she is helping me to see and ensure that I open up and see what the other person require from me in a relationship.
Father knows that I am not ready for a romantic rship and hence prepared me to take a rship seriously.
That's her gift to me. She valued me and everytime tell me how she wants me to behave with her becos she want the rship to continue. If she doesn't value me, she wouldn't even has bothered.

All these while, her take with me is more on my rship with her, in terms of my communication, treatment of her. Nothing to do with my work cos I am doing a good job. So, my misguided perception on she not valuing me and hence scolding me is wrong. It is because she valued me that she scold me for not giving her due respect in the rship between staff/boss and she requires max attention, even worst than my ex-boyfriends.

Father, thank U. I tried and tried and alas found d key that U have send me. CEO is a gift for me.

She even helped me on the cactus plant amen.

Her gift to me is to show me how to be in a rship. To see what and how the other party wants to be treated.

Father, U r great.

Osho
Compassion and contentment are two very valuable words because the whole life of seeker can be contained within them.
Contentment within and compassion without must be balanced on the scales.
Be always satisfied within your own self and ever-compassionate towards others, never contentment based on others nor compassion for one's own self.

If you don't feel contented in what you have, tots of dissatisfaction begin to gather in ur mind, u will feel the lack of things and ur restlessness begin. Your mind will concentrate on all that u do not have and see only insufficiency.

If u r kind to others but dissatisfied with ur own self, u will end up a social worker; u will never become religious.
If u r satisfied with urself but no compassion for others, u become a lifeless holy man.

Soul
Tot of me, contented within. Doesn't need feedback or validation and don't give others as well.
Very apt given.

Osho - Nanak
If one sides of the scales is heavier than the other, because of this lack of equilibrium, the instrument of existence cannot be tuned to resonate with the divine melody.
He who embodies compassion and contentment - in the right proportion and the right direction - attains the supreme comprehension of life. He will then know what is religion.

Satisfaction within, compassion without
Meditation within, love and kindness without.
Wisdom within, compassion without.

Until such time that both of these are present, whatever the knowledge, it can only be false. The lack of either leaves knowledge incomplete.

Soul
Father, this message affirms my lesson with CEO.