Valuation a measure of my lovability (2)

Jul 16
This mornin woke up 6.30 am, feeling fine. But mind says why don't you take a break since you have been purging and vomiting yesterday. Then a second tot came, no discretion in meditation. So, I wake up and did my practices and later went for breakfast.

When I was doing suria namaskara, a tot came in. She value her possession more than being liked.
I valued my deliverable more than being liked.
When I got her a third class PA, it touched her deeply, make her feel bad and she lashed at me to deliver good PA for her. She keep on stressing on getting value for money.
I recalled that I felt bad, she scolded me over such insignificant matter. She didn't value my friendship, she didn't love nor appreciate me. I didn't do anything bad to warrant such scolding. Now I know this is not about me. Her possession is her valuation and her likeability factor is not her valuation. So, she has no compunction to seek valuable possession by threatening and scolding me.
My question on how she managed to overcome basic human need for people to like her is answered.
I am lovable. She not loving me is becos her lovability is more important than my lovability. So, this is not about me, its about her.

I have been asking myself. Why do I always need to hold true to my words. Why can't I give people what they want? Why I get myself in difficult position, making them dislike me? It is not smart, why self-sabotage.
Then I realised valuation of my deliverables is more important than getting approval/liking from others. Even if I knew the others doesn't like my answer, it won't change. On one hand, I can be said to be courageous and hold true, on the other hand, its just because I felt bad to give bad deliverable. I cannot love myself if I give bad deliverable.

CEO is lovable, its just that my lovability is more important her lovability. So, I will be the last person to seek validation as I don't seek from others. So, this is not about them, its about me.

We all need not take it personally. Amen.
Mmm, D still looking for answer. Seeking for marriage counseling, seeking to assert her loss of control. Her key is power. That's the first door she must pass through. Only when she was willing to powerless, the rest of her insight can flow thru.

My first key was sadness, second key was control, third key was rejection, fourth key was unlovability. When I am able to see how unloved I am, that I finally can see the rest of me.

As for D, I understand why she is not taking the advice we did together. Cos not having power makes her feel unloved, so she need to recover that. Also she is a fixed card, no one but her can make the change. Surprisingly, the tot of why she like that, waste my time, and etc.

Father, thank U. I no longer takes rejection personally. This is not about me. In the end, everything is about ourselves. So, then we need not take things personally from others. Once we removed the emotion out of the way, we need to see our projection.