Fear of losing control of easy work life

Aug 24

This morning, I got clearance that I did the right thing with the disclosure as it was a deadlock with GM and the CEO was ignorant about the whole affair and of oeople's insecurities.
Father, I don't want to be in the playing group. I want out from their dynamic interplay. I no longer want to be at the helm. I just want to do my finance job and go back early.
I am clear of what makes me happy and it is not the work. The work is a means of income. I don't want to be caught in the office drama.
This morning will tell CEO that I should not be in the front scene. She should not be seen to overly rely on one persons or the others.
　
Mmm, why did my perception on GM changed? Guess, triggered by her attitude on SY, her lack of thinking creating problem for us. Her stabbing me, understandable, she was only defending herself. But her giving different version of story to me and PD does annoy me.
I guess I wanted to set thing straight.
I also angry at her for not acknowledging her weakness, trying to cover up and create problems for us.
Her bad hiring resulting in us having to spend so much time in brainstorming
Her lack of 'defense' and also knowing of staff's forte, instead of writing them off.
Her not seeing her own issue instead ignore the issue.
Her not protecting her staff.
Her not able to take care of the company. I was putting my bet wrongly.
And if she is not good, she will cause bad result to company and affect my easy life now.

So, I was having the control mode in place; is a risk to have her at the top level. 1st she is stupid or 2nd she is being vindictive; all cause trouble to the Company and cause me have to work hard. We were supposed to have easy period and her bad hiring will trigger us.
Anyway, m glad I took charge and ask CEO to speak to the staff and she is excited abt the new client.
Is there any projection here? Am I truly helping her by projecting? Its not projecting but I was afraid of her lack of leadership and thinking skills, her refusal to see her weakness led us to our slow death. And I don't want to go back.

(Sept 17 - It was just my fear of not being in control that make me attack GM. Frankly she has not changed per se. But I guess its because I now have an easy life and I dont like anyone to shake it. Also, she has crossed her parameter by asking me to do her job.)


Projectuons
Mind is the projector. The only way to reach to truth is to learn how to be immediate in ur vision, how to drop the help of the mind because the mind can create any drama.
Each person's mind is projecting an image that they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are looking at.
All of us can get caught up in projecting movies of our own making onto the situations and people surrounding us.
A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless -- a cloud that prevents us from seeing reality as it is. The only way out is to recognise the game.
When u find a judgement arising about another, turn it around: does what u see in others really belong to u? Is ur vision clear or clouded by what u see?


Heal Ur life
Whatever I choose to believe becomes true for me. Whatever u choose to believe becomes true for u. Our tots can be totally different. Our lives and experiences are totally different.
Whatever we believe becomes true for us

If u seem unable to attract a rship, u may believe that "nobody loves me" or "I am unlovable" or "fear being dominared as ur mother was" or etc.
If u have poor health, "I was just born to suffer" or "its one thing after another" or "illness runs in our family".

Most people are not aware of their belief. They just see the outer circumstances as being the way the cookie crumbles. Until someone can show u the connection between the outer experiences and the inner tots, u remain a victim in life.
No matter how difficult an issue we are dealing with. It is only an outer result or the effect of an inner tot pattern.
Ask urself "What kind of tots am I having that create this?".

If we want a joyous life, we must think joyous tot. If we want a prosperous life, we must think propserous tots. If we want a loving life, we must think loving tots. Whatever we send out mentally or verbally will come back to us in like form.

Ace of Spade
Card of death, change and transformation. Also represent the truth that lies behind the veil of illusion.
Father, yes. Today I decided out from the office drama. I no longer want or need to be in the Loop of favour.
Also, now realised why I turned against GM. Not becos of me wanting CEO's recognition but because I was afraid of GM's incapability.