My authority issue revealed

Aug 25

Father, yday just a slight tweak and now my knee swell and in pain. This morning I woke up and I asked U to let me do suria. Luckily the right elbow has recovered from saturday and now little pain. The first 3 cycles was not easy due to the leg but I was doing it very slow so the benefits is much more. So, blessing in disguise. And by fifth cycles, my left knee was fine. Today at the finale, just wan to do plough back and finished my practices at 6.56 am. So, today nearly 2.5 hour and I think I did longer in breathing meditation.

Father, I know I am not my physical body.

Now awake, pain is back. Father, thank u. Whenever m bit down, I will remember this is my cosmic lesson; have Fate despite the pain. Father, I want to work towards retirement from corporate at age 45.

Mmm, now know why GM's anger never got back to CEO. For the rest, GM is friendly and helpful, so don't wan to get her in trouble. Also if GM leaves, then people has to contend with dealing with CEO themselves. So, it not a case they 100 percent for GM, but they want to avoid CEO.
Anyway, I think GM is unconsciously working towards termination. Like ex-PA, she too cannot walk out on her own and also perhaps she hope for some termination benefits.

You are what u think; shld be changed to Your experiences are what u think.

Heal ur Life
Good teachers do not come from joyful households where all was easy. They come from a place of much pain and suffering, and they've worked through the layers to reach the place where they can now help others to become free.
Most good teachers are continually working to release even more, to remove ever-deeper layers of limitation. This become a lifetime occupation.

Soul
My childhood
My father was absent, working for money. I seldom speak to him.
My mother is there but also absent except always asking us what to eat, cook for us, allow us to do whatever we want, sew for us, do white lies to us. Love us
My brother always criticised me. He said m stupid, physically challenged, low IQ, cannot sing, cannot dance, lazy.
He was the Authority figure to me.
I have always been playful but he was also the one who make me terminated my playfulness and created my controlness.
Whenever he criticised me, I hold myself in check, not letting him see that he affects me cos I dont want to give him the satisfaction. Also I believed that if I did, he would teased me even more. I used to hate him inwardly, wish that he would go away, dread him coming back as he will criticised me, forced me to do housework or etc.

It got better when I become an adult and told him off. I took back my Power when I bought the house from him. From thereafter our position of power changes and we become equal. And now I am fine with him, even welcomed him back.

Father, my brother is the one that shaped my belief of not being enough, of being physically challenged. Perhaps that's why with all the joints pain, I could take it cos I tot I am physically challenged.

Father, I have a new belief now. I can do plough back, do 12 cycles of suria. I am physically strong.
Guess the 'test' would be Himalaya. I am not going becos of the mystic, but possible becos I wan to remove the old belief "physically challenged".

Just send email to C, giving her an ultimatum. She either send the cd to me or tell me to buy another sets. I also told her that she is jeapordising our friendship. After this mail, not sure how we can pick up. Besides, friendship cannot be one-sided. Not sure what happen. Perhaps I am growing and yet she is still 'stuck' and by not sending me the cd, she can prevent me from growing further.


(Sept 17 - expressed my anger and not afraid of the outcome. Alas, I got the result. The cd now with me.)


Nine of Heart
Card of emotional disappointment and personal losses on the affectional level. Ending of one or more jey relationships that is no longer doing u any good. It is time for them to end, whether u realise or not.

Soul
Yeap, I have given her enough time. Its time for it to end.