Uncertainty due to drop in valuation

Aug 22

When I talked abt power comes with responsibility. My resentment at having so many people to help. LY says why I think I need to help them, perhaps they don't need to. Its me playing God.
The Psychic said that my family (need not be my paternal family) really need my help and support. Its not me who are having illusion or trying to play God, they really need me.

Father, as I was walking, I was thinking of LY's statement about my anger/resentment. I know its about all the people I need to help, all the Plutos connection out there. I was thinking again why God gives me such challenge. Why have to make me prove myself?

Then the mandala pix of great Inner Soul is shinning thru and its at the brim, but I am closing it with a black veil so that the shines cannot come out cos I don't want to help people.
I started to journey to help myself, not to help others. I just want to be contented alone.

Then a tot came in Osho; Knowledge within, Compassion without.
Its about having the knowledge but must spread it in order to be enlightened and not to be egoic. If only knowledge within but no sharing then its self-centred.

Father, my destiny is Self-Mastery. Self mastery is not just about myself but also about others.
All the while I say they need me. And now I know I need them too to complete my Destiny. Thanks to all my Pluto card.
I got this ephiphany about half way thru and I continue my walk humming and dancing. Amen. I finally see it.
Father, thanks. Drawing the mandala really helps me to see the injustice to myself. God were only trying to help me to realise my dream, he is not asking me to prove my worthiness for receiving the knowledge.

(Soul - Father, still a tinge of resentment here and there. But I realised I open up more in IE pgm and do my sharing of my meditation trial and error experiences.)

Afternoon
Now I know why I am afraid to embark on my Passion. I am afraid of failure or rather not able to gain any valuation points from this. It is not so much the money. That's the results. It becos I am not sure whether I will be great or not in my Passion being a Transformation Leader; ie. my valuation
Since I am not sure about that, why release my current valuation as FD.

My 7thunder card for today

Queen of Spade
We r given special opportunity to achieve much success in our external lif by mastering ourselves within.
This means creating more success in our external life by changing our inner tots, beliefs and attitudes instead of trying to alter the circumstances.
Great! Amen