Inner Self-Criticism (1)

Aug 20

Father, I will straighten the rship. Now I know why GM is feeling so insecure cos Regional doesn't act on her SOS. This confirms that Regional chose CEO over GM, as mentioned by V previously.
We'll, at least GM knows for sure. She now got 2 choice to go or stay, knowing her position is status quo, no growth prospect. I will tell her she is like Anne now and its not good for her and the company.
If she say to stay for increment, I will say then it make her harder to go. Shld not wait for increment. At first she says wait for reinstatement and then later partial restoration and now increment. Looks like she doesn't want to leave.
If she has to stay, work as usual, don't ask me what is CEO thinkin or etc cos it won't help her and also it makes me feel very uncomfortable, as if I am like her mole or something, then we can be consider as conspiring like what CEO accused us of. I don't want to go there and neither does she. Besides all her old team has left except for her. Don't think she need to owe responsibility to the new team, she doesn't have to carry them. Besides their interaction with CEO may be different from hers.

Life is not easy, let's not make it difficult. I have to remember m her Pluto Card and to help her to make the change that she wanted. Just like I helped ex-PA.

Father, my mind continuosly working on d guy. Amazing. I admit I have slight attraction but I m not keen to act on it cos I m not sure he is my type. Also knowing abt his 8 of Club, same like D, a semi-fixed card and I am their Pluto, only serves to shy me away.
Aiyah, don't judge first. Just see how it flow. Also remember, my ideal partner is a thinker and is also as powerful like me.

Soul
Limiting belief - m not good enough
Where it comes from
- frm my brother who says m slow minded, can't think on my feet, cannot do sport, not clever, cannot sing, cannot dance, stupid to choose beautiful gals to be my friend.
- frm my 'foster' friends who hold me back due to my love for food. I compromised due to food.
_ frm my mother cos I was taken care by others.
- frm my mother cos I wasn't allow to grieve over the childhood incident.
- frm the ever-changing neighbour/friends (caretakers). I tot they left me bcos m not good enough.