Awesome melt down in Dhynalinga

Dec 16
Father, what a day!

I have not been for massage for the last few years after Isha. Today, suddenly I felt for a head and shoulder massage as my shoulders are tired from the 2 days intense hata yoga. No doubt, it is a refresher and I have been practicing, but yet I was tired and I must say I gave my full commitment to the training.

After the oil massage, I had a lovely warm shower. I then changed into my samyama white top and bottom. I took a dip in Teethakhoon, this time I started to sing Guru pooja's karpura gauram when I step into the water. I love the place and can now enjoy the water. I can control my giggle and now will be mostly humming some songs or some tunes. And I even helped others to walk in the water.

Then I went to Dhynalinga, I just went and sat down and immediately my head start to shake non stop and then tears start to fall. Since I had to control my cries, it is even worst as I had to control my cries. Tears coming non stop. And then Iaughter came which I had to squelch too.
Then moments of silence before I start to dance with my hands.
Few minutes later, a sadness arises within me, it was painful as I felt the sadness was wrung from deep within me, tears start to flow uncontrollably and me struggling to control my cries again. Such pain, I have never felt this much pain before, except maybe during guru pooja training back in 2009.
Father, perhaps that's why I can't open up to Dhynalinga, there are too much issues that is within me.

Finally, my soul was bared to Dhynalinga and he helped me to release the hidden pain.

Now in airport, had a few unexpected moments. Firstly, got caught in a mall because I wanted to eat McDonalds.

Suddenly my mobile Sim card is blocked and I couldn't call out. I asked others to call the taxi driver but cannot get thru because he was in lower car park without phone lines. I panicked for a moment as the elevators are also jammed up. Then I calmed down cos I recalled my big luggage is placed on top of the car, so I will find it. So, I went down to the parking basement again. I was so happy to see my driver waiting for me at the parking lift lobby.

We got into our car and wanted to drive out but it was jammed. We found out a few traffic lights were spoilt, just right in front of the mall and huge jam starting from the mall's car park. Finally we came out of the car park but the main road was so jammed, so we can't even turn out. So we had to find a detour road out to main highway. My taxi driver doesn't know the way and we had to ask a few persons along the way.
Finally we reached the airport and I found my flight delayed by 15 minutes, which is fine as my bag will be directly checked in all the way to final destination. Behold, I was then informed they cannot checked me in as my second flight was issued under a different airline. So, now I will have to rush out to do second check-in at Chennai. Then I recalled my last episode whereby I had to do second check-in with an additional two big boxes, so I can handle this.

My judge is blaming me for firstly select McDonald and then now didn't check my air tickets. This trip to Ashram has loads of surprises, starting from misplaced luggage when I arrived. Things are not in control, such situations normally doesn't happen in my life.