Finally admitting I am sore with my friend

Nov 30
Father, I am feeling bit down despite doing my practices. Today there were loads of tots, happy tots on Z and unhappy tots on S.

A tot came, she is not worth the pain. Her aiming to be the best makes her unkind. She is also unappreciative of all that I have, me saving her from termination when I first met her, me listening to her woes on her boss for many years, me saving her from her boss, me matching her with the current boss. She forgets all that n start to judge n say unkind things. I don't expect gratefulness, but neither do I expect attacks. She has a tendency to blow up, speaking with her parental tone. I m able to switch off my feelings on her tone. But now I don't even want to entertain her as she is unpleasant to be with. For many years, I endured. It is enough. I have paid my dues.

I checked our cards via her Ruling of Four of Clubs, she is Cosmic lesson in both life and spiritual to my Ruling Ace of Diamonds and Mars and Venus n Jupiter card to my Queen of Diamond. Mmm, luckily, I left and now let go of the outsourced services too.

Yea, she too has been taking my time for many years already.

Z didn't return call. Instead upload a picture of himself off for sky diving via boat. The old me would have contacted him but new me is.bit pissed. Yea, he is worth the pain cos he is kind, he won't hurt me and I felt safe with him. But he must learn not to take me for granted. Not sure why, yday I finally tot there is hope for us be together, which is a miracle.

Just checked. 

Mmm, just like I need E to push me to resigned my ambition in the corporate world, I need S to push me to drop outsourced services. Cos both of them not worth the pain. Just like I cannot be colleague with E, the same I can't with S. So, thanks to them both. I didn't fix with E, I too didn't fix with S. I m letting my validation from work goes, my issued with money dropped.