Feeling friendly towards Z

Dec 2
Father, woke up at 6.45 am for morning walk in the park. I had a dream of my ex giving his approval on Z.

father, I had to admit I cannot hold back my feelings while still in contact with him. And he holds himself back because he knows it and wants to safeguards my feelings. He doesn't wants me to be hurt again. Thanks to him, he is a true diamond. This morning when I was walking in the park, I knew I wanted a full time partner. It be best if it were Z but if not, I don't mind.

Now drawing on the Relationship cards on Osho.
1. Me
friendliness
U relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, u share. And if u see that the moment has come to depart because ur paths separate at this crossroad, u say goodbye with great gratitude for all that the other had been to u, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that u have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, u simply separate. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.

2. Him
Silence
Now is time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that comes to u in this moment will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of ur life.

3. Composite energies
The master
The whole work of meditations is to make u aware of the mind and to dis-identify yourself from it. Once ur awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. U then become a master of ur own destiny.

Soul
For me, to accept it is ok to move on from Z. I loved myself and I am no longer seeking love from Z. I no longer feel bad that he can separate from me with ease.

4.  The Insight
Breakthrough
It is greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become breakthrough.
The dawn is not far away, but before u can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will becomes darker. 

Soul
Yea, accepting my ending with Z eventhough I love him and truly wants to be with him. Amen.