7thunders - 2011/2012 (pre-birth year)

Sept 4
Father, had a session with Sl and we had a good one. I used to feel drained after a session with her. But now I am fine. Guess I have accepted her.

7thunder
Challenge years
Any Seven in Saturn, Pluto, Long range or Displacements.

Seven cards always present us with a challenge and a way out of it. Unlike the Nine, which portends an ending that cannot be reversed, the situations indicated by a Seven have a resolution within our reach. However, the resolution always comes from inside of us, not from trying to change or manipulate the circumstances outside of us.
A Seven will cause events to occur that are nearly impossible to avoid.

Soul
Yea. And I am glad I have ACIM with me. Talking to S also helps to clarify. I tot her I believed that love need not involved 'sacrifice', whereas for her love always involved 'sacrifice'. We are at both ends and we need to learn from each other.

Mmm, was reading about age 45 whereby we be presented with many of the same kinds of experiences that molded our character earlier in life. But now we r more conscious, more mature and much more able to translate these experiences into a positive meaning into our life. We can elevate our characters by choosing to take a higher path as each of these experiences present themselves to us for re-evaluation. If we handle this age 45 year with care, we can use it to alter the course of the rest of our life.

I am committed to do all the soul searching I required in pre-birth age 44. My lifetime challenge is romantic relationship and I have been fearing it. Now I will go through my fears with Z and see how real were they.
Also instead of thinking why Z chose me to make me suffer, I can see it as Z wants me so much he cannot help himself.

Ruling Card
Displacement - Ace of Heart
Search for something inside of our self. It is the card of 'soul searching' and often introspection. It is the search for self-identity or for those things that help us to love who we are unconditionally.
In order to love ourselves, we often find someone to love who reflects back to us what we are seeking within. This is why the Ace of Hearts can represent a new rship beginning.

Soul
I tot I had a rship with Z previously. Actually I had none cos I didn't put myself in it. I also used him as a tool and outlet for physical expression. Then I realised I had feeling for him and I jumped ship.

And now I had another round. I wanted him so much few weeks ago and now I only tot of the price to pay and my wanting beginning to wane. But I am persevering cos I knew there is something here. True enough, I went back to him and this time I want to start afresh, doing what I have to do for my Self and for Him.

Ace of Hearts in Displacement
Our rship always reflect how we love ourselves, so expect some new experiences in this area. U will probably need more time to urself this year to sort out ur feelings and inner drives and motivations. Self-expression can play a key role in allowing u to find the answers u seek from inside.

Soul Since I cannot love him unconditionally, I too cannot love myself unconditionally.
Aiyah, just watched the show and tot I deserved to be cherished like that. Tot of Z about his lack and wanted to dismiss him and find another. Then a tot came, a change of mind again. Nope, he does cherished me in his own way, just not the way I expect.

Just saw that my Environment is 2 of Diamonds, which is S. And I just told her that we need to learn from each other. I will be needing her help on Z and I will call her whenever I needed guidance on unconditional love. So, she is my support.

Long Range - Ten of Spades
Year of hard work.

Soul
Yea, its a tough one with Z.

Pluto - Nine of Diamond
Letting go of what I valued but has now outlived its purpose.

Soul
Letting go of my amour and being defenseless and begin to love unconditionally.


Ruling Card
Result - Ten of Diamonds
As a result of overcoming ur Pluto of Nine of Diamonds, u achieve considerable 'prosperity' as u expand ur values to include the needs of those around u, ur community or country.

Soul
What I want is Self Mastery and first step is having unconditional love for myself.

Birth Card
Displacement - Nine of Diamonds
This is an important graduation year in terms of ur work or values.
Something important in ur value system has reached the end of its usefulness for u. It could be ur present line of work or simply ur entire way of looking at life and the things that are important to u.

Diamond tend to look at everything in their life in term of how much it is worth to them to have it in their life.

Something is ending and it is up to u whether this becomes a tragedy or a cause of celebration as u graduate from this level to move on to the next.
How u handle this ending will determine ur level of happiness this year.
The best attitude is one of giving up and letting go, knowing u r not losing anything that is actually good for u anymore. As a matter of fact, this year is the preparation for a new life just about to begin. This new life will be one that is more healthy and full of new and pleasant surprise for u. So, embrace the endings that occur this year with joy. U have come a long way to get where u r, and u will lose nothing that is truly yours.

Soul
This is my pre-birth year and I want to get it right for next birth year.
What I am losing is self-preservation, is my life long control mode, my amour.
I am ready with ACIM.
My work is Self Mastery and I have to complete the program with Z using ACIM.