Relationship with Z - settling down mode

Sept 5 Aft
Father, I admit I didn't do it correctly with the reply mail. I should have called her. I still have difficulty in saying no.

Also, this is an improvement. Not sure she has improved that her scolding is less 'angry' or I have improved and not so affected.

Father, job is ending. I told V that there is no push factor but looks like there is no stay factor per se. I am not keen with them anymore.

I have Nine of Diamonds as Pluto in my Ruling and I also have Nine of Diamonds as Displacement in my Birth.

Father, the part I enjoyed was the long lunches and 4 days week. But I am not happy here. These days M keep on saying I look shitty.

Mmm, instead of going down. This is a prelude to ending. New and better things are coming.

Father, not easy facing both. A change in job and facing Z. Even now I want to msg him but my tot is on rejection. Let me have a positive tot.

(Sept 16 - these are tots of revenge. Anyway, we are back together, after a major scolding when she got back from holiday.)

Sept 5 Eve
Father, today I am feeling down. Everything seem hopeless. My writing is not going anywhere, my joints still in pain, my skin is getting dry, my boss on rampage and no hope with Z.

I am looking forward to sathsang with Sadhguru. I need a burst of his energy to get me on track.

ACIM
The advanced teachers of God have the following characteristics:
1. Trust
Perception is the result of learning. Infact, perception is learning, because cause and effect are never separated.
The teachers of God have trust in the world, because they have learned it is not governed by the laws the world made up. It is governed by a power that is in them but not of them.

What is it that induces them to make the shift?
Development of trust.
1. Period of undoing
2. Period of sorting out
3. Period of relinquishment - period where the teachers of God feels called upon to sacrifice his own best interests on behalf of truth. Through this, he learns that where he anticipated grief, he finds a happy lightheartedness instead; where he tot something were asked of him, he find a gift bestowed on him.

4. Period of settling down - a quiet time in which the teacher of God rests a while in reasonable peace.

Soul
I have faced all these. But there are so many doors to venture. With Z, I am now on settling down mode