U r the projector; if you don't like what you see, change the lens

Sept 9
Mmm, it has been awhile since I sing and dance during practices. Father, I am back.

Sept 9 Eve
The Passion Test
You have created ur life, and the good news is, if u don't like it, u can change it.

Ur life is created first in ur mind, then in the world.

Soul
Yea, I now knew it is my tots.

The Passion Test
Byron Katie
I realised that when I believed my tots I suffered, but when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer.

We don't suffer because of what happens, we suffer because of our tots about what happens. Reality is neither good nor bad. Only ur tots make it good or bad.

When u question ur tots, u realise they have no basis in reality. Eventually, u come to see that everything outside u is a reflection of ur own thinking. U r the storyteller, the projector of all stories, and the world is the projected image of ur tots.

Soul
Just like previously whenever I couldn't contact Z. I feel bad because I tot its because he doesn't want me, because I was unlovable.
Now that I realised my lovability is determined by me alone. I am not as affected as before, I would say it lessen about 50%. I also realised I take things personally, which I am working on.

The Passion Test
Byron Katie
We take our stressful tots and project them out onto the world. When u investigate ur thinking, u will discover that its not about anyone else. It's all about u. If u have judgements about someone else, then write them down, and turn them around. Be ur own teacher. Do what it is u want them to do.

Soul
Suddenly tot this is similar to ACIM; "teach what u want others to learn".

I used to berate Z for not opening up. I realised now I too didn't open up. I used to berate him for his wall, I realised I too have a wall. His amour only for romantic relationship and mine is full coverage.

The Passion Test
Byron Katie - The Work
As u investigate the tots that make u feel afraid, that makes u feel unworthy, that makes u unlovable, u will discover something new growing in u; trust.

Ur speed on the cosmic highway is directly related to ur ability to trust in the benevolence of the universe.

Soul
I am now changing my belief that Z is unreachable. I told myself he is reachable. I called and he was driving in the highway. We spoke nearly 45 minutes till I was tired and decide to hang up.

I shared with him that I used to see him as a challenge but now I see him as benefits. He wanted to know more and I said I shared next week.

He was upfront about his dire financial strait. I offered to lend him some money to buy his phone but he declined. Father, I want him. First tot was not sure where we heading. Second tot I recalled I am the Sun and he is my Moon. He is excited about me opening up and told me he will go slow. I like that, I felt cherished.

ACIM
Generosity
To the world, generosity means "giving away" in the sense of "giving up". To the teachers of God, it means giving away in order to keep.

The teachers of God does not want anything he cannot give away, because he realises it would be valueless to him by definition.

Patience
Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Patience is natural to the teacher of God.
Patience is natural to those who trust. Sure of the ultimate interpretation of all things in time, no outcome already seen or yet to come can cause them fear.

Soul
I need to learn that.

ACIM
9. Faithfulness
The extent of the teacher of God's faithfulness is the measure of his advancement in the curriculum.
Faithfulness is the teacher of God's trust in the Word of God to set all things right; not some but all.

True faithfulness does not deviate. Being consistent, it is wholly honest. Being unswerving, it is full of trust. Being based on fearlessness, it is gentle. Being certain, it is joyous. And being confident, it is tolerant.

Soul
Mmm, tot of the other division. It is becoming too troublesome and erode into our parameters. I need to nip it in the bud.
Of course, part of me tot I don't look good. But I don't care. I am not paid to take care of another division. Our commitment has been back end but now they are taking us front end. So, it is best I just give them one contact person, an Accountant that handles the admin, payroll and accounts.
Of cos, this means I kicked myself out of possible transfer there. But I don't want them and I got a feeling now that E is not a good person to work with. He is pushy. But I am no pushover and I won't let him infringe on territory. He is entitled to one headcount only.
Father, I no longer want to solve problem. I no longer need to feel uself. I just want to be and enjoy my Top 5.