Breakthrough - finally saw the rewards of Z

Sept 6 Eve

There was still no reply for him after few hours. Of course, towards the end, mind start to generate dramas of rejection and etc. But I didn't accept it cos I know we won't end just like that and he is my moon and would tell me.

So, with that I called him and turn out his phone cannot be used and so he didn't receive my message. Then I start to wonder if he received the message last Friday. He replied to my text. He also said he doesn't know how to write text. Father, I am happy. I am opening up. If he doesn't want to, it is fine. I am learning all I can during my pre-birth year. Mmm, again I am asking myself to stop desiring. I desire him.

Mmm, since he didn't call back like he said he will. My mind is churning. But I don't want to go there. Is true I want him to call but if he doesn't call why should I feel bad. Do I have to interpret him not calling as a reflection of my lovability, as rejection!!

Why don't I think this is part of him doesn't want to open up. And the more he doesn't want , the more lovable I am cos he is afraid of getting attached to me.
Mmm, alternative tots. Just remember not to close up myself whenever I faced obstacles. Otherwise, I forever be stuck. What he does with us, is not my business. What I do with us, is my business.
Yea, I cannot let anyone dictate my well being. Father, let me have the same confidence in rship, as in work.

7thunder
Many times what we get from the most challenging relationships is important knowledge about ourself, specifically knowledge about ourself, specifically knowledge about ourselves that we couldn't have gotten any other way.

Same msg as my this
week Osho tarot card
Issue - The Lovers
When we experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.

7thunder
The Sun person is usually the boss or leader of the rship. If the Sun person doesn't have a clear direction or is non-committal about the rship, it will not help to have this great marriage connection, the rship will fail.
Sun-Moon connection works best when the Sun person knows where he or she is going. And it is not always the male in the rship.

Soul
Mmm, I am the Sun to him in both Life and Spiritual. Looks like it is possible that I am the one in charge but I don't know it. Since I open and close and even run off, the rship never shoot off.
Whereas for him, he is stationery, just waiting.

Father, when we are together, he is my Moon. But when we r not together, he is my Cosmic.

So, instead of lamenting about not being together, to remember my Cosmic lesson is under played and appreciate the opportunity, focus on the lesson so I can grow.

The moon connection is what helped me to stay despite the Cosmic. Otherwise, I would have run off long time already.

I am the Sun and I need to lead and at same time I need to learn. Tricky.

Him being my Cosmic - act as teacher. He is paying me back.
Him being my Moon - support me, also paying me back.

Father, for the first time I see a way out.