Cosmic Lesson - removal of my amour to give unconditional love

Sept 5
Father, suria was effortless despite one week of no practice and with my elbow joints swelling. Practice was fine too.

Woke up recalling that Z was my Moon in both Spiritual and Life Spread and he is also my Cosmic in both Spiritual and Life Spread. No wonder he is the one that I am dismantling my amour for. I remembered that I used to ask how to dismantle my control mechanism and now I get a chance to do so. It won't be easy. Tot of Z, he said I must frame my mind and think it is easy, then it be easy.

(Sept 14 - All the drama of how to proceed. We are fine and I just focus on current. Surprisingly the neediness is gone. I recently read Cosmic Love, he is my Soul Mate, his role is to teach me in bonding, to include my partner in my life.)

Ask and It is given
The feeling of a pure desire feels good. But unfortunately many people think that the uncomfortable feeling of wanting something they do not expect to experience is what the feeling of desire is; they no longer recognise the feeling of desire as that fresh, eager, feeling of expectancy that they knew when they were younger. The feeling of pure desire is always delicious, as it represents the vibrations that are stretched out before u into ur unseen future, preparing the way for the Law of Attraction to match things on ur behalf.

Soul
When it comes to food and writings, I experience it. When it comes to rship, I normally experience desire as a lack and hence it doesn't feel good and I try to nip it before it extrapolate.
Father, I seldom let my desire arise. Z is the first desire I have that I cannot nip.

Ask and It is Given
The seeming lack of control of ur life experience is mostly because u do not realise in which direction u r headed. Without a conscious realisation of ur own emotion, and what they mean, u often move away from where u really want to be.

Soul
I used to be unaware of my feeling as amour protect it. But now I am aware.

Ask and It is Given
Until u decide that u r going to guide urself by the way u feel, u can make no steady progress toward ur own desires.

The key to regaining ur wonderful feeling of personal empowerment and control is to decide, right now, no matter how good or how bad u r feeling, that u r going to do ur best to make the best of it. Reach for the best-feeling tot that u have access to right now, and as u do that again and again, in a short period of time u will find urself in a very good feeling place.

How u feel and the feeling of relief that u discover as u reach for better-feeling tots - is ur only true measurement of what u r attracting into ur experience.

Soul
I am trying to do that.

Father, I only desire that Z release his hold on his plan and see how great we are together. He is so tight fisted and doesn't allow me to come in at all. He doesn't even allow himself to call me. Suddenly I tot he too is wearing an amour like me.
No wonder our rship is also Pluto connection cos both also wearing amour. When S told me she put aside her things to be with her boss. I told her that I don't and neither does Z. That's why most time we had difficulty in planning our meetup.

Suddenly a tot came while reading my Osho - giving myself to him.

My 7thunder card
4 of Diamonds
When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly.

Soul
I know the first step in dismantling the amour is to give myself to him.