Feeling joyful after the decision to quit the corporate job

Jul 31 Aft
Father, I got tons of work to do. But of cos, it is great Sl is here to do the P & L.
I just laughed it off. I feel a bit drunk with joy.
P asked me to move on since Z has requested for break up.

On Z, I recalled I told him about a Singapore's colleague experience whose wife had cleaned out his savings. I guess he sees that as a reflection of my fear. And I also send him pix of the expensive restaurant and to him also makes him feel bad. And I think it is also possible that his Stevia deal didn't go through and so that added to his whole depression. Anyway, he doesn't want to take my calls and I already said what need to be said.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
The Outsider
So u r feeling urself an outsider. This is good. This is the transitory period. Now u have to be alert not to fill urself with pain and misery.
It is not surprising if this feeling of being small, helpless child arises as the feeling is deeply rooted in our earliest childhood experiences. It is so deeply rooted that it plays over and over again, like a tape in our lives.
U have an opportunity now to stop the tape, to quit tormenting urself with ideas that u r somehow not 'enough' to be accepted and included.
Recognise the roots of these feelings in the past, and let go of the old pain. It will bring u the clarity to see how u can open the gate and enter that which u most long to become.

Soul
I m still not sad over Z. Perhaps Sl is right, I am still thinking he will come back, still hoping. As days gone by and he didn't revert, then I will feel the rejection and maybe then I be sad.
At the moment, I am still hopeful. And also, I feel bit of relieve if this is over. I could not have done this on my own. The unexpected break up and its timing is perfect.

3. External influence
Sharing
As u move above the fourth center - that is the heart - ur whole life becomes a sharing of love. The third center has created the abundance of love. By reaching the third center in meditation, u have become so overflowing with love, with compassion, and u want to share it.

As a meditator reached the center of his being - the third center - suddenly an explosion of love and compassion and joy and blissfulness and benediction has arisen in him with such force that it hits his heart and open the heart.

Everything around u seems to be "coming together" now. Enjoy it, ground urself in it, and let the abundance in u and around u overflow.

Soul
That's exactly how I feel. So much joy and laughter coming out. It is just spontaneous, doesn't even require the water as conductor.
I was also able to share my love with Z despite being rejected. And I didn't even delete him and still love him.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Stress
There is no need for me to make any struggle, any effort; there is no need for me to fight for anything. I can relax and be.

Soul
I m learning. I just laughed it off.

5. Resolution
The Burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. Stripped, naked, natural, he is what he is. This is a matter of being, and not of becoming.
The lie cannot become the truth, the personality cannot become ur soul.

Soul
Yea. Just be myself. No need to become. I am.

Diamond Heart - book 3
When u know that u r something beyond ur body, mind, emotion, sensations, that there is a lot more to u which is deeper than these things, ur point of view about life will change.
If all ur life you've looked for somebody to love u, and then find that ur nature is love, what will happen to that search. U then are no longer the bee looking for the nectar; u r the flower itself.
Suddenly ur perspective is totally shifted; now there will be something else to do with ur life other than searching for love.

We need to learn how to learn. Then we can go about finding who we are, what's really about, what life is about, what is really good, what we are supposed to go after. We even might ask whether it is good to go after the good at all. We might find out, when we discover what is really the good, the ultimate good, the supreme good, for instance, that it is a quality of the supreme that u don't go after.