Knowing I don't want to work 5 days week

Jul 19

This morning I woke up at 4 am, but body not so good. So, I just slept back and put alarm at 5.20 am.

Father, this week I only did 2 times. Never mind. Yesterday they call me for volunteering and this time they are cautious cos they know I don't enjoy volunteering. For sathsang, I said no but I am willing to be usherer.

Father, I am not sure where I am heading. But I know I don't want 5 days week.

Diamond Heart - book 3
In the dimension of Essence, there are experiences of self-realisation in which meaning is based on the presence of the realised state in the present moment, rather than being based on the future. This eliminates the dependency on the future. Goals and aims become less and less important. In other words, the aim become the present moment.

For the ego, those goals or aims give the person a sense of meaning or significance only if their environment and their relationships support them, and let them feel that their goals are important. If u have a goal and everyone around u thinks that it's not important, then that goal won't give u meaning. People usually choose goals and aims that are idealised by society.

So, at some point, it is useful and necessary to have only ur own inner support which is not dependent on external sources. This means u have to have support for aloneness.


Aug 5
Perhaps thats what I am feeling. Most people cannot understand why I drop my high flying career at age of 45. They don't understand why I want to semi retire. I want to semi retire because I want to be happy.

On Z, perhaps thats what I am feeling. He is not here with me. I am facing this new journey alone.