Saturday, August 25, 2012

My presence is comforting

Aug 04

Osho - celebration
When people start thinking that u r exceptional, there is danger. The danger is that u may move again on an ego-trip; the danger is that they may again give u an ambition: the danger is that they will not allow u to relax and to be urself.
When people give importance to u, they start dominating u. That's the whole are of manipulating people. People make u feel very important and they have become powerful over u. Now if u want to maintain ur greatness, u will have to consider them. They have made u great - now they have the key. Now, in a subtle way, u will become their slave.
So, whenever somebody comes and exaggerates about u, beware! He is trying to catch hold of u and once u allow it, it will be difficult to go back home.

Soul
Exactly what happen to me in Isha. I have never sought the leadership. So many times I want to go but people said cannot. Then I tried but I was afraid of losing their 'respect' and friendship. But alas, I managed to pull the string. I escaped.

I guess the same thing now with E. I don't want to continue. I don't want to be made important, then it be difficult for me to leave. Cos ultimately career is no longer valuable to me and I don't want to make it valuable again. I don't want to be a slave. I want my freedom to be just me, savoring myself.

Osho - celebration.
When u come in contact with Buddha, his presence does not press ur heart; infact his presence makes u more free. His presence does not turn u into slaves, his presence turn u into masters. His presence does not become a binding on u, but becomes a freedom: he liberates.

However when the energy comes out, it becomes a very repressing force. It is almost violent. It is as if somebody has jumped upon u with a sword in his hand and force u to submit.

Soul
Suddenly I tot of myself as buddha, now I know why people is very comfortable with me, open their heart to me.

On the energy leakage, tot of ex-boss J and also E. And Sl also has that.



Osho - celebration
Only keep company with a master with whom u don't become a carbon copy, with whom freedom is possible, with whom even surrender gives u individuality, following whom u don't become a follower, with whom u earn more and more freedom - more than u can give to urself. He does not give u a discipline, he gives u awareness and through awareness u flower. U r not repressed, u r not forced; great things happen, but they happen naturally, spontaneously.

Soul
I tot of myself. I always say this to my staff. I give them independence to be themselves.

Osho - celebration
Whenever u r in close contact with a man whose energy makes u a slave, escape from him. It is a pressure. These are things to be felt. U feel a pressure on the heart, a crushing pressure, then that man has more energy than u; but that energy will prove evil; it is aggressive energy.

Soul
That's what I tot of E. That's why I have to go.

Osho - celebration
When, in the presence of somebody, u feel that u r uplifted, that u r taken to a higher altitude, that u start floating upwards, that gravitation is less; that presence is soothing, gives u silence, awareness; makes u more conscious and there is no pressure in it ... In fact, the ordinary pressures of ur life dissolve in the presence of a man who has become integrated.


Soul
How about Sadhguru? With him, I don't feel like a slave, but I just seems to surrender. All my external life evaporates.

Father, thanks for guiding me once more. Thanks for affirming that my action to resign is correct. I have found my peace and I am not willing to lose it over my job, over money, over financial security. Amen.


(Aug 24 - When I finally brave myself to meet Sadhguru, his presence was joyful and I felt liberated. He saw me and we both laughed together)

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