Knowing I want to have only 3 days week

Jul 18
Father, I was up till midnight yesterday. I reach home after 11 pm from the fund raising.

Actually, I am lovable. I am comfortable with myself and that makes everyone becomes comfortable too.

Both DP and Dato also easy with me.

Today I just asked E for time-off. I want him to know I want time-off as it makes me happy. For me now, life is not meant for working. I just want to be. I work 4 days week.

Z knows that I enjoy most just doing my practices. He knows I love Sathsang the most.


Jul 18 Aft (voluntary late lunch)
It is now 2 pm. I am voluntarily having late lunch. I have changed. Today I assert to SL that she is my successor and my plan is for 3 days week. I told her I am not happy when I have to work 5 days week. My life is not about work.

Father, I m definitely going back for Shoonya refresher. I think I have not properly learn the techniques.


Awareness
The veil of illusion or maya that has been keeping u from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion but the cool flame of awareness. As it burns the veil, the face of a very delicate and childlike buddha becomes visible.

Any sense u might have had that u have been groping in the dark is dissolving now. Let urself settle, and remember deep inside u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.

A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.

Soul
I just told SL, I now can witness my mental reaction and I have a choice of letting it roll into an emotional reaction.

Diamond Heart - book 3
Self realisation
There is a sense of certainty about urself and about ur perception of reality. It also manifests as a sense of completeness, as a sense of things making sense, as a sense of having meaning to urself, to ur life and to ur world without necessarily knowing what that meaning is.

Everything now has an implicit sense of meaning, value and preciousness. Ur life, ur activity and creativity originate from that pure and certain sense of significance to ur world and who u r.

Soul
Exactly. I am now cleared. I really don't want to work. I may not know yet what I will be. But I know what I don't want and that's a start.

Soul
Suddenly tot of me having a workaholic boss like E is good. Since he cannot stop work and I am basically taking part of his work. I won't have a problem doing part time.
And SL is very capable, she can rise to my level. I have the best of both.


Diamond Heart - book 3
When this sense of self realisation is absent, u usually experience meaninglessness and emptiness in urself and in ur life. The ego personality deals with the loss of a sense of meaning by creating a sense of meaning. The usual mode is by having goals and aims that u will attain one of these days. The meaning of ur life becomes the attainment of those goals.

For most people life has meaning only in terms of these long term goals.

Soul
I am releasing whatever makes me happy and it leaves a gap. But I don't mind. I don't even have the goal to be successful writer.


Suddenly a tot came on why E gave Ze so many chances. Because he too was a hated 'person' in work place and most people wants him out. So, he project that to Ze and wants to give her more chances.