Oct 24
Today woke up at 6.30 am to do practices. Asanas were moderate, just a bit of laughter. Shakti and shambavi was quite ok. There were tots floating around. But when I did the ploughback at the end of practice, I was much more nimble.
My rship with Z on Tarot
1. Me - Healing
Be aware of ur wound. Don't help it grow, let it be healed and it will be healed only when u move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.
When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water we r no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed and help others also to be healthy and whole.
2. Him
Beyond illusion
Reality allows u to doubt and the dream does not allow u to doubt.
This card reminds us not to look outside for what is real but to look within. These judgement keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness.
Drop ur opinionated mind aside.
Soul
Very right. I am afraid of being hurt again, I don't want to go back and lose my dream of a real time partner. Z is still attached to his dreams and cannot come out.
No wonder no movement.
3. The Composite Energy
Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure is clearly the master of his own destiny.
Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions.
Soul
Both of us need to be that. But we r not.
4. The Insight
The Source
Zen asks u to come out of the head and go to the basic source. Learn how to be at the Source. Then the Source will decide where ur potentila is.
Soul
Yea. Stay grounded.
I was reading something about thinking of worst possible outcome.
People aware of my inner. People judge me.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
True purpose in Life is to gain mastery over ego
Oct 23 Aft
Sixth Letter
If indeed such a person catches a true glimpse of the Eternal and the true goal in life, the longing for more possessions will eventually die a natural death. The desire for 'More' possessions will be gradually replaced with a sincere appreciation of what u already have and a sense of consistent contentment.
Through experiences of the miraculous interventions or activity of Divine Consciousness within the daily life, the human consciousness is greatly uplifted and learns that its daily needs are met in the very best way. Faith is increased and joy enhanced.
Soul
True. I dreamt of 3 days week but was worried about money, the loss of positions and etc. And now I am finally on 3 days week, about 2 years after my wish list.
Sixth Letter
I have come to expressly lead u back into the Kingdom of Heaven. However, it is not only in the matter of desiring more possessions for urself that ur soul is bound down within its secret dwelling place.
The ego also uses the magnetic emotional drive to 'repel - reject' to ensure ur individuality, privacy and safety. This impulse takes on numerous forms designed to give u a feeling of superiority, or elitism or protecting u from people whom u consider to be undesirable or having less social status than urself.
The truth is when the soul begins to gain a little control over the ego drive, it will chide the human personality for its selfishness and exclusivity. It will urge the psyche towards the adoption of unconditional love and a belief in universality and Oneness of all people, no matter who they may be.
Soul
Z is about having more. Me is about rejecting for privacy and safety.
Father, thank U for this Letter. It answer my question. It also humbles me.
This is also reminds me I have Nine of Hearts in my Cosmic Reward card. I have Seven of Spades in Cosmic Lesson. And Nine of Diamond in something.
Sixth Letter
Ur true purpose in life is to gain mastery of ur ego by reaching out in tot and feeling to THAT ..which u sense is behind creation and consistently asking for enlightenment.
I have come to expressly tell u how to escape the selfish possessive-protective drive given u by the Ego to ensure ur individuality and survival and ur inbuilt longing to return to the joy and happiness out of which all creation took LIFE.
Therefore, if u do not like ur world, u have it in ur power to change ur 'conditions of existence', right where u r - if u have the faith and consistent will to do so.
Soul
Father, when I read thru the list, I knew "rejection" is my key mode. That is what translated into my auto immune disease of rejecting my good cell in my body.
So, this could mean I am also rejecting "good things" in my external life.
Father, help me to see thru the RA. I am ready to listen. I know U r giving me some input. Tell me more.
Sixth Letter
If indeed such a person catches a true glimpse of the Eternal and the true goal in life, the longing for more possessions will eventually die a natural death. The desire for 'More' possessions will be gradually replaced with a sincere appreciation of what u already have and a sense of consistent contentment.
Through experiences of the miraculous interventions or activity of Divine Consciousness within the daily life, the human consciousness is greatly uplifted and learns that its daily needs are met in the very best way. Faith is increased and joy enhanced.
Soul
True. I dreamt of 3 days week but was worried about money, the loss of positions and etc. And now I am finally on 3 days week, about 2 years after my wish list.
Sixth Letter
I have come to expressly lead u back into the Kingdom of Heaven. However, it is not only in the matter of desiring more possessions for urself that ur soul is bound down within its secret dwelling place.
The ego also uses the magnetic emotional drive to 'repel - reject' to ensure ur individuality, privacy and safety. This impulse takes on numerous forms designed to give u a feeling of superiority, or elitism or protecting u from people whom u consider to be undesirable or having less social status than urself.
The truth is when the soul begins to gain a little control over the ego drive, it will chide the human personality for its selfishness and exclusivity. It will urge the psyche towards the adoption of unconditional love and a belief in universality and Oneness of all people, no matter who they may be.
Soul
Z is about having more. Me is about rejecting for privacy and safety.
Father, thank U for this Letter. It answer my question. It also humbles me.
This is also reminds me I have Nine of Hearts in my Cosmic Reward card. I have Seven of Spades in Cosmic Lesson. And Nine of Diamond in something.
Sixth Letter
Ur true purpose in life is to gain mastery of ur ego by reaching out in tot and feeling to THAT ..which u sense is behind creation and consistently asking for enlightenment.
I have come to expressly tell u how to escape the selfish possessive-protective drive given u by the Ego to ensure ur individuality and survival and ur inbuilt longing to return to the joy and happiness out of which all creation took LIFE.
Therefore, if u do not like ur world, u have it in ur power to change ur 'conditions of existence', right where u r - if u have the faith and consistent will to do so.
Soul
Father, when I read thru the list, I knew "rejection" is my key mode. That is what translated into my auto immune disease of rejecting my good cell in my body.
So, this could mean I am also rejecting "good things" in my external life.
Father, help me to see thru the RA. I am ready to listen. I know U r giving me some input. Tell me more.
With the ego, Life is an endless chase for personal satisfaction..More, More and More..of the same thing..
Oct 23
Father, light bulb tripped when I woke up and the whole house black out. So, I slept back and tot of alarm at 6 am. But when it rang, house still dark and so I slept back and woke up at 7.15 am.
When I drive, I try to do samyama. Mind is ok. Just have stale breathe from last night.
Sixth Letter
Ur highest spiritual goal is to come to that spiritually exalted moment when u finally realise that ur human mind and its desires are only finite - and therefore, can never bring u the happiness and fulfillment u will experience when u lay down ur selfhood and come to divine consciousness asking ONLY for the Higher Way, more Abundant life and the true Spiritual PURPOSE which u Alone can accomplish in ur earthly state.
Soul
Suddenly I tot of sharing with Z, the power of Linga Bhairavi. M has said its power and his wishes comes thru. Anyway, I just msg him. He follow his dreams and I followed mine. He hasn't reached his peak and he will never be satisfied. Just like if I didn't go to new company, I won't be so sure that career is not what I want.
For me, I don't have wish, Linga is like an old friend or older sister, someone whom I clique and laugh together every night.
Father, why I don't have 'wants', why no bonding impulse, why don't want to do window shopping, why don't ask for things?
Father, I recalled mom said I cried loads when I was a child. So, she just left me to cry till I am tired and then sleep on my own.
And when I am sick, I just want to sleep and was not whining, I don't seek attention.
Which is surprising cos now as an adult, I seldom cry. I am seldom sad.
Sixth Letter
The nature and quality of Universal Consciousness is Radiant Joy - Fulfillment - Happiness
This is what I termed the "Kingdom of Heaven within u" - within ur soul - within the deepest recesses of ur psyche, which is the intermediary between the radiance of ur soul and the shadow of self of ego.
To return to this transcendent state of glorious, beautiful, happy, harmonious being is ur soul's deepest longing!
It is this enduring longing, this inborn unconscious recollection of equilibrium and peace, joy and harmony, which, through the psyche, prompts the ego to manipulate the environment on ur behalf. Its consistent purpose is to bring u back to ur primal original state of glorious ecstasy out of which u drew ur soul, being and form.
But the ego can bring about ur desired joy and pleasure, only by means of the two magnetic/emotional "Bonding-Rejection" impulses - which are only materialised impulses to give u ur individuality.
Therefore, the longing to rejoin the Source of Being is experienced in the electromagnetic parameters of tots and feeling as 'More, more, more' of what give u a pleasurable feeling, previously. More friends, more house, car, clothes, etc. Each time the 'more' has been achieved, there is a little glow of satisfaction, perhaps a showing off to the neighbours to heighten the happiness, (gaining one up on them, and another little glow), and then the novelty dies away, the new possession becomes mundane, the senses are again at rest - in equilibrium - mental tiredness sets in, routine becomes dull and boring.
To generate some life, the ego finds another goal to be achieved to provide excitement and pleasure.
Thus, life is an endless chase for personal satisfaction of various kinds leaving the hidden soul, starved, unsatisfied, still longing for something 'More' - but what is it my deepest self is craving? U ask in desperation.
When a person reaches an understanding of the true source of emptiness and continual inner craving for 'more of what made me feel good before' and begins to meditate to make contact 'That' Which Brought Him/Her into Being, a little of the Divine Equilibrium filters through the human consciousness. The emptiness begins to recede.
Soul
That's what Sadhguru said. That's what I feel, life is a vicious circle if we are not aware.
I cried when I drove out after reading Sixth Letter. I am so thankful that I have been connected to the Source. So thankful to Sadhguru for giving me the possibility.
Father, light bulb tripped when I woke up and the whole house black out. So, I slept back and tot of alarm at 6 am. But when it rang, house still dark and so I slept back and woke up at 7.15 am.
When I drive, I try to do samyama. Mind is ok. Just have stale breathe from last night.
Sixth Letter
Ur highest spiritual goal is to come to that spiritually exalted moment when u finally realise that ur human mind and its desires are only finite - and therefore, can never bring u the happiness and fulfillment u will experience when u lay down ur selfhood and come to divine consciousness asking ONLY for the Higher Way, more Abundant life and the true Spiritual PURPOSE which u Alone can accomplish in ur earthly state.
Soul
Suddenly I tot of sharing with Z, the power of Linga Bhairavi. M has said its power and his wishes comes thru. Anyway, I just msg him. He follow his dreams and I followed mine. He hasn't reached his peak and he will never be satisfied. Just like if I didn't go to new company, I won't be so sure that career is not what I want.
For me, I don't have wish, Linga is like an old friend or older sister, someone whom I clique and laugh together every night.
Father, why I don't have 'wants', why no bonding impulse, why don't want to do window shopping, why don't ask for things?
Father, I recalled mom said I cried loads when I was a child. So, she just left me to cry till I am tired and then sleep on my own.
And when I am sick, I just want to sleep and was not whining, I don't seek attention.
Which is surprising cos now as an adult, I seldom cry. I am seldom sad.
Sixth Letter
The nature and quality of Universal Consciousness is Radiant Joy - Fulfillment - Happiness
This is what I termed the "Kingdom of Heaven within u" - within ur soul - within the deepest recesses of ur psyche, which is the intermediary between the radiance of ur soul and the shadow of self of ego.
To return to this transcendent state of glorious, beautiful, happy, harmonious being is ur soul's deepest longing!
It is this enduring longing, this inborn unconscious recollection of equilibrium and peace, joy and harmony, which, through the psyche, prompts the ego to manipulate the environment on ur behalf. Its consistent purpose is to bring u back to ur primal original state of glorious ecstasy out of which u drew ur soul, being and form.
But the ego can bring about ur desired joy and pleasure, only by means of the two magnetic/emotional "Bonding-Rejection" impulses - which are only materialised impulses to give u ur individuality.
Therefore, the longing to rejoin the Source of Being is experienced in the electromagnetic parameters of tots and feeling as 'More, more, more' of what give u a pleasurable feeling, previously. More friends, more house, car, clothes, etc. Each time the 'more' has been achieved, there is a little glow of satisfaction, perhaps a showing off to the neighbours to heighten the happiness, (gaining one up on them, and another little glow), and then the novelty dies away, the new possession becomes mundane, the senses are again at rest - in equilibrium - mental tiredness sets in, routine becomes dull and boring.
To generate some life, the ego finds another goal to be achieved to provide excitement and pleasure.
Thus, life is an endless chase for personal satisfaction of various kinds leaving the hidden soul, starved, unsatisfied, still longing for something 'More' - but what is it my deepest self is craving? U ask in desperation.
When a person reaches an understanding of the true source of emptiness and continual inner craving for 'more of what made me feel good before' and begins to meditate to make contact 'That' Which Brought Him/Her into Being, a little of the Divine Equilibrium filters through the human consciousness. The emptiness begins to recede.
Soul
That's what Sadhguru said. That's what I feel, life is a vicious circle if we are not aware.
I cried when I drove out after reading Sixth Letter. I am so thankful that I have been connected to the Source. So thankful to Sadhguru for giving me the possibility.
Schizophrenia - creates confusion...my Three of Spades and Three of Clubs in Mars period
Oct 22 Aft
Father, I didn't think and contact Z for the equipment. He replied and suddenly a trail of exchanges. Then I become afraid cos I don't want to go back to the past.
I got my weekly Osho this morning and Internal influence is Courage and What to do is Go with the Flow and Resolution is Ripeness. I wonder what it could be. I tot it was work but I also find it not possible cos work is no longer my challenge.
Now I know the issue is Z. I still wasn't sure and I checked his 7thunder card and it was Ace of Diamond, which is me.
Fifth Letter
Bonding - Rejection to secure individuality
The face of Bonding drags, draws, attracts, demands, pulls, buys, grabs, clutches, clings to the people and possessions it craves. This Impulse creates an illusion of security in togetherness and possessions. It is the tool of Mother Consciousness inspiring the building of families, communities and nations. It can be productive of beauty, joy, harmony and love. It can also wreck lives and destroy communities when it is 'Ego' driven.
The face of Rejection repels, thrust aside, pushes away, evades everything - people, animals, possessions it does not want. Thus the Impulse of Rejection creates an illusion of privacy and security. It is the Impulse that urge rifts in families, relationships, communities and nations. It is supposedly geared to saving lives, ensuring protection and privacy but it is a destructive force when it is 'ego' driven.
The Bonding-Rejection Impulses directed/directs the behaviour towards survival of all entities in creation.
Soul
I tot z is on Bonding Impulse and me on Rejection Impulse. He works to expand and I work to contract.
Tots going in my head on Z but mostly on him rejecting me. Why? My auto is always on me being rejected. Perhaps I am also rejecting myself. RA...I wonder. Actually I feel safer when I am alone.
Fifth Letter
These Twin Impulses were the ephemeral source of all 'worldly" comfort, pleasure, 'happiness' - and also the source of all sickness, misery and deprivation in the world.
These Impulses of Bonding-Rejection in the individual personality also become highly creative in that they determine - and make visible the 'consciousness forms' of 'things desired' and 'things rejected'.
Soul
Me always on Rejection mode. That's why I don't have "Wants". I only have "Don't Wants".
Z only have "Wants". That is why he says he only wants wealth and no rships. Me I don't want a hidden rship. Aiyoh, why issue on Z is back. I tot its all wrap up. I tot the fact I can be cordial means its over.
Fifth Letter
Now I knew spiritually, intellectually, emotionally that it is so, I realised I could and must take steps to overcome the Twin Impulses of Ego previously governing my mind, in order to allow the Divine Reality full scope through my mind and brain.
Soul
A tot occur to me. No wonder Sadhguru stressed acceptance and to take out strong Likes and Dislikes that limit us.
Osho
1. Issue
Schizophrenia
The whole effort of Zen is how to drop this schizophrena, this split personality. U r a marketplace - many voices. If u want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. U cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality
The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both at once. U can't work ur way out of this one by solving it, making lists of pros and cons. Better to follow ur heart. If u can't find it, just jump.
Soul
Two things...one on Z and the other on getting back on track in my spiritual path
2. Internal influence
Courage
There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing why or where.
The same is the path for man. It is arduous, much courage will be needed.
3. External influence
Creativity
4. What is needed?
Going with the Flow
Don't remain stagnant. Move towards the depth, always search for the lowest ground.
When this card appears, it is an indication that u r able to float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Allow the feeling of trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.
5. The Understanding
Ripeness
Only if ur meditation has brought u a light that shines in every night will even death not be death to u but a door to divine.
This sharing of urself, this expression of ur creativity, can come in many ways, in ur work, ur rships, ur everyday experiences.
Father, I didn't think and contact Z for the equipment. He replied and suddenly a trail of exchanges. Then I become afraid cos I don't want to go back to the past.
I got my weekly Osho this morning and Internal influence is Courage and What to do is Go with the Flow and Resolution is Ripeness. I wonder what it could be. I tot it was work but I also find it not possible cos work is no longer my challenge.
Now I know the issue is Z. I still wasn't sure and I checked his 7thunder card and it was Ace of Diamond, which is me.
Fifth Letter
Bonding - Rejection to secure individuality
The face of Bonding drags, draws, attracts, demands, pulls, buys, grabs, clutches, clings to the people and possessions it craves. This Impulse creates an illusion of security in togetherness and possessions. It is the tool of Mother Consciousness inspiring the building of families, communities and nations. It can be productive of beauty, joy, harmony and love. It can also wreck lives and destroy communities when it is 'Ego' driven.
The face of Rejection repels, thrust aside, pushes away, evades everything - people, animals, possessions it does not want. Thus the Impulse of Rejection creates an illusion of privacy and security. It is the Impulse that urge rifts in families, relationships, communities and nations. It is supposedly geared to saving lives, ensuring protection and privacy but it is a destructive force when it is 'ego' driven.
The Bonding-Rejection Impulses directed/directs the behaviour towards survival of all entities in creation.
Soul
I tot z is on Bonding Impulse and me on Rejection Impulse. He works to expand and I work to contract.
Tots going in my head on Z but mostly on him rejecting me. Why? My auto is always on me being rejected. Perhaps I am also rejecting myself. RA...I wonder. Actually I feel safer when I am alone.
Fifth Letter
These Twin Impulses were the ephemeral source of all 'worldly" comfort, pleasure, 'happiness' - and also the source of all sickness, misery and deprivation in the world.
These Impulses of Bonding-Rejection in the individual personality also become highly creative in that they determine - and make visible the 'consciousness forms' of 'things desired' and 'things rejected'.
Soul
Me always on Rejection mode. That's why I don't have "Wants". I only have "Don't Wants".
Z only have "Wants". That is why he says he only wants wealth and no rships. Me I don't want a hidden rship. Aiyoh, why issue on Z is back. I tot its all wrap up. I tot the fact I can be cordial means its over.
Fifth Letter
Now I knew spiritually, intellectually, emotionally that it is so, I realised I could and must take steps to overcome the Twin Impulses of Ego previously governing my mind, in order to allow the Divine Reality full scope through my mind and brain.
Soul
A tot occur to me. No wonder Sadhguru stressed acceptance and to take out strong Likes and Dislikes that limit us.
Osho
1. Issue
Schizophrenia
The whole effort of Zen is how to drop this schizophrena, this split personality. U r a marketplace - many voices. If u want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. U cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality
The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both at once. U can't work ur way out of this one by solving it, making lists of pros and cons. Better to follow ur heart. If u can't find it, just jump.
Soul
Two things...one on Z and the other on getting back on track in my spiritual path
2. Internal influence
Courage
There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing why or where.
The same is the path for man. It is arduous, much courage will be needed.
3. External influence
Creativity
4. What is needed?
Going with the Flow
Don't remain stagnant. Move towards the depth, always search for the lowest ground.
When this card appears, it is an indication that u r able to float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Allow the feeling of trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.
5. The Understanding
Ripeness
Only if ur meditation has brought u a light that shines in every night will even death not be death to u but a door to divine.
This sharing of urself, this expression of ur creativity, can come in many ways, in ur work, ur rships, ur everyday experiences.
Handles ur mind so it support rather than hinder ur spiritual path
Oct 22
Father, woke up at 4.25 am to do my practices. Suria was not so great but I did 12 cycles. Shakti and shambavi was fine.
I had tots of Z, knowing he is in the vicious cycle of generating wealth. I myself also nearly falls into it when I tot of buying a bigger house. If only Z realised that having his big house and a big car is enough. He doesn't have to strive again by getting himself in new financial commitment.
Father, let me grow inward. I wish Z had done the BSP and then he would have realised. But then, I wouldn't have gone thru the break up and strengthen my faith in inner path. I may not know what will happen but I know what I don't want to happen, which is to fall into financial commitment again.
The 7thunder asked me not to make big commitment from age 42 to 48. I settle my car loan at the age of 42 plus. I actually need not buy this car. But I want this car, so have a commitment for another 2.5 years.
As I was driving I looked at the trees, they really exhibit total acceptance. They grow where they are planted and died where they are cut. Just totally being there, they can't make any decision; they are choiceless.
We can make decision, we can choose but we choose wrongly. So, choiceless is the way out since we don't know what is good for us.
As I looked at the trees, I sensed their presence and I laughed with them and marvel at their beauty and strength.
Fifth Letters
Understand ur 'dry' periods but do not give way to them by yielding passively to an undesirable change in ur attitudes and mental/emotional patterns. As u conscientiously draw upon ur Source of Being for new strength and the upliftment of ur consciousness frequencies, so will these negative periods be greatly reduced in strength and duration.
I repeat, at all times beware how u use ur minds! Let ur mental activity always be constructive that it may contribute to ur own spiritual growth rather than its constant hindrance.
Soul
I am now aware.
Fifth Letter
Those spiritually evolved souls who have been lightly infused with Divine Consciousness report the experience to be utterly beautiful and glorious and entirely unforgettable - but still not fully describable in human terms. This mystical experience is possible when the frequencies of the vibration of the mind are already raised and the entire consciousness is suffussed with rays of Divine Consciousness. It is a condition that involves the "feelings" more than the intellect and brain cells.
Soul
I have experienced my Bliss a few times and now I touched mostly my Joy. Just need to expand.
Fifth Letter
My purpose of returning:
1. To dispel the myths which have surrounded my human persona and teachings. Religious dogma and doctrines should eventually die a natural death
2. To help the churches to let go of their archaic notions of "God" and "sin". No true spiritual progress is possible until the dawning of a clear realisation that each person is responsible for the way his or her life develops.
3. To remove from ur minds the picture of an "Almighty God" of magnificence and grandeur and unlimited active power, who rewards the virtuous and punishes the wicked. These beliefs are wholly erroneous - albeit comforting.
4. I am explaining the Truth of Being for u, to finally dispel the old concept of "God" sitting aloft somewhere in heaven where He is said to have created the world and all that is in it in relatively short while.
5. To help science bridge the gulf between Universal consciousness and the appearance of electrical particles. Without this bridge between the Unseen Spiritual Dimension and the Seen world of "matter", science will remain rooted in old ideas and concepts instead of moving forward into new realms of spiritual/scientific research for betterment of mankind.
5. I have also come to show u the TRUE NATURE of .. THAT ..which brought u into BEING - gave u INDIVIDUALITY.
I want to make it manifestly clear that:
Nothing ever comes from Nothing
U have not been 'created' - u have drawn ur 'being' from IT. Ur entire universe is a manifestation of logic and consistent logical effects arising out of related causation.
Ur universe is CAUSE & EFFECT made visible
This is an undeviating principle of existence.
Soul
No wonder Sadhguru stress responsibility.
Sadhguru always stresses inner engineering as the science of betterment of ourselves.
Sadhguru always stresses the Law of Cause and Effect, the law of Karma.
Father, woke up at 4.25 am to do my practices. Suria was not so great but I did 12 cycles. Shakti and shambavi was fine.
I had tots of Z, knowing he is in the vicious cycle of generating wealth. I myself also nearly falls into it when I tot of buying a bigger house. If only Z realised that having his big house and a big car is enough. He doesn't have to strive again by getting himself in new financial commitment.
Father, let me grow inward. I wish Z had done the BSP and then he would have realised. But then, I wouldn't have gone thru the break up and strengthen my faith in inner path. I may not know what will happen but I know what I don't want to happen, which is to fall into financial commitment again.
The 7thunder asked me not to make big commitment from age 42 to 48. I settle my car loan at the age of 42 plus. I actually need not buy this car. But I want this car, so have a commitment for another 2.5 years.
As I was driving I looked at the trees, they really exhibit total acceptance. They grow where they are planted and died where they are cut. Just totally being there, they can't make any decision; they are choiceless.
We can make decision, we can choose but we choose wrongly. So, choiceless is the way out since we don't know what is good for us.
As I looked at the trees, I sensed their presence and I laughed with them and marvel at their beauty and strength.
Fifth Letters
Understand ur 'dry' periods but do not give way to them by yielding passively to an undesirable change in ur attitudes and mental/emotional patterns. As u conscientiously draw upon ur Source of Being for new strength and the upliftment of ur consciousness frequencies, so will these negative periods be greatly reduced in strength and duration.
I repeat, at all times beware how u use ur minds! Let ur mental activity always be constructive that it may contribute to ur own spiritual growth rather than its constant hindrance.
Soul
I am now aware.
Fifth Letter
Those spiritually evolved souls who have been lightly infused with Divine Consciousness report the experience to be utterly beautiful and glorious and entirely unforgettable - but still not fully describable in human terms. This mystical experience is possible when the frequencies of the vibration of the mind are already raised and the entire consciousness is suffussed with rays of Divine Consciousness. It is a condition that involves the "feelings" more than the intellect and brain cells.
Soul
I have experienced my Bliss a few times and now I touched mostly my Joy. Just need to expand.
Fifth Letter
My purpose of returning:
1. To dispel the myths which have surrounded my human persona and teachings. Religious dogma and doctrines should eventually die a natural death
2. To help the churches to let go of their archaic notions of "God" and "sin". No true spiritual progress is possible until the dawning of a clear realisation that each person is responsible for the way his or her life develops.
3. To remove from ur minds the picture of an "Almighty God" of magnificence and grandeur and unlimited active power, who rewards the virtuous and punishes the wicked. These beliefs are wholly erroneous - albeit comforting.
4. I am explaining the Truth of Being for u, to finally dispel the old concept of "God" sitting aloft somewhere in heaven where He is said to have created the world and all that is in it in relatively short while.
5. To help science bridge the gulf between Universal consciousness and the appearance of electrical particles. Without this bridge between the Unseen Spiritual Dimension and the Seen world of "matter", science will remain rooted in old ideas and concepts instead of moving forward into new realms of spiritual/scientific research for betterment of mankind.
5. I have also come to show u the TRUE NATURE of .. THAT ..which brought u into BEING - gave u INDIVIDUALITY.
I want to make it manifestly clear that:
Nothing ever comes from Nothing
U have not been 'created' - u have drawn ur 'being' from IT. Ur entire universe is a manifestation of logic and consistent logical effects arising out of related causation.
Ur universe is CAUSE & EFFECT made visible
This is an undeviating principle of existence.
Soul
No wonder Sadhguru stress responsibility.
Sadhguru always stresses inner engineering as the science of betterment of ourselves.
Sadhguru always stresses the Law of Cause and Effect, the law of Karma.
Shoonya is to enable us to separate ourselves from our minds
Oct 21 Aft
Father, just now when I come back around 4 plus pm, I was hungry. But I knew my energy was down and I need meditation more than food. So, I did my shoonya and went in deep.
I send a thank u msg to P for giving me the Letters:
Thank U for showing me the Letters. It truly brought back my faith. My faith took a beating when I lost Z. I am now back. Thank You, my dear friend.
P's reply:
I can't take credit 4 your "awakening" - m just a vehicle of communication 4 a higher power. Remember I blurted out without meaning to. :) It shows someone up there is watching over u. U r truly blessed.
Soul
I always know that when I needed answer and guidance, IT will come.
Oct 21 Eve
Mystic Musing
Karma is not in terms of what u do or do not do. Karma is only in terms of what u desire to do. Karma has gathered in u in so many ways. This karma that is recorded either on the level of ur body, mind or physical energies is an accumulation, but once ur awareness comes to a certain point, all of this is happening separately from u.
In shoonya, do u see, the mind is happening separately and u r happening separately. This can go so deep into u that if u sit here, everything that is not u and that which is u r separate. Once u r like this, it is all done. Ur tape recorder where everything is recorded is there and u r here. Whatever noise it makes, has no impact on u. U r free from it in a moment.
Soul
Yea, my mind and body is wanting Z. But I said nope cos we don't want to go back.
Mystic Musings
Just accepting and not reacting is just to stop creating new karma. As u become more and more aware, natural acceptance of what is there becomes so much higher.
Yoga describes 5 bodies
1. Blissfulness
2. Awareness
3. Energy
4. Mind
5. Body.
Living totally does not mean just having fun. Anything and everything that comes, u just experience it fully, mentally.
Father, just now when I come back around 4 plus pm, I was hungry. But I knew my energy was down and I need meditation more than food. So, I did my shoonya and went in deep.
I send a thank u msg to P for giving me the Letters:
Thank U for showing me the Letters. It truly brought back my faith. My faith took a beating when I lost Z. I am now back. Thank You, my dear friend.
P's reply:
I can't take credit 4 your "awakening" - m just a vehicle of communication 4 a higher power. Remember I blurted out without meaning to. :) It shows someone up there is watching over u. U r truly blessed.
Soul
I always know that when I needed answer and guidance, IT will come.
Oct 21 Eve
Mystic Musing
Karma is not in terms of what u do or do not do. Karma is only in terms of what u desire to do. Karma has gathered in u in so many ways. This karma that is recorded either on the level of ur body, mind or physical energies is an accumulation, but once ur awareness comes to a certain point, all of this is happening separately from u.
In shoonya, do u see, the mind is happening separately and u r happening separately. This can go so deep into u that if u sit here, everything that is not u and that which is u r separate. Once u r like this, it is all done. Ur tape recorder where everything is recorded is there and u r here. Whatever noise it makes, has no impact on u. U r free from it in a moment.
Soul
Yea, my mind and body is wanting Z. But I said nope cos we don't want to go back.
Mystic Musings
Just accepting and not reacting is just to stop creating new karma. As u become more and more aware, natural acceptance of what is there becomes so much higher.
Yoga describes 5 bodies
1. Blissfulness
2. Awareness
3. Energy
4. Mind
5. Body.
Living totally does not mean just having fun. Anything and everything that comes, u just experience it fully, mentally.
Christ Returns msg is similar to Sadhguru - avoid spiritual see-saw
Oct 21
Father, I didn't sleep well yday cos I slept nearly 1 am and then woke up about 5 am. Then I slept back and wake up at 6.45 am and went for my morning walk. But despite my tiredness, there is a lightness to my steps and I sang guru pooja in my mind and hum some tunes.
Father, I finally see the volunteering as what it was, a tool. I am now here to check the sound system. Alas, nothing to check and I pester for earlier testing. Father, I m surprised, the old me would have reacted. Came all the way and nothing to see. But now I just go away quietly.
Fifth Letter
I want u to understand fully, that nowhere has it been made clear in ur New Testament that I brought a teaching completely opposed to the teachings in the Old Testament and therefore the New Testament as a true record of my life and teachings cannot be trusted or accepted or believed.
I am here to tell u that when u have purified ur consciousness of the gross human tots and feelings pertaining to the ego-drive, and persevere in meditation and a lifting up of ur consciousness to the Universal, u will begin to feel the spiritual power invading ur mind and eventually ur whole body.
I have come to help u remove the barriers by enlightening ur present ignorance and teaching u how to open ur consciousness - ur entire being - to the inflow of THAT WHICH BROUGHT YOU INTO BEING.
True contact with the Source of ur Being, is only experienced when u have sufficiently cleansed ur consciousness of the gross human ego-drive and have spent some time in meditation and a regular emotionally powerful 'reaching out' in consciousness to ur Source seeking contact and renewal and refreshment of Spirit.
This is the true purpose behind existence. A constant and mutual reciprocation of communication between the Source of all Being and creation.
Soul
I can identify this with Isha practices and monthly Sathsang which is a meeting with the Truth.
Father, I was losing faith in practices when I lost Z. But now with these Letters on Christ Return, it somehow affirms my path and I felt reconnected to Sadhguru again. My faith is back. On Z, life is not serious, what will be will be.
Father, I wanted to share with Z, I wanted to share with P and then V on my return. But alas, I didn't. Need not announce my arrival.
Fifth Letter
Daily, sincere meditation and prayer will enable a mental cleansing to take place and gradually TRUTH and UNDERSTANDING will replace the old myths which once were dear to u.
Soul
I may not have indoctrinated religious teachings or beliefs but my self-will is strong. That's why for me, the break up is on my personality, my personal likes and dislikes.
Fifth Letter
Doubt destroys steady progress because it creates its own 'consciousness forms' which will suppress and even eradicate the insight u had gained previously. Therefore ur choice of tots - belief or disbelief, doubt or faith - construct or destroy ur progress in ur search for TRUTH. Any denial erases from ur consciousness the progress which has been previously made.
Soul
No wonder. When my faith drop, diligence in practices drops, I become lazy and now hata is stretched and I cannot feel my subtle body.
Fifth Letter
Furthermore the higher u ascend in spiritual truth, the more powerful do ur tots become.
Soul
Aiyoh. No wonder the drop was so fast when I lost faith after I lost Z.
Fifth Letter
Therefore, create and hold fast to ur own spiritual momentum and allow no one to intrude and undermine that momentum. Hold firm to ur former perceptions. In times of doubt, cruise along in positive tots, using enlightening affirmations, clinging to earlier inspirational guidance when ur consciousness frequencies of vibrations were higher.
By use of ur willpower, choosing affirmations containing 'golden nugget' of spiritual Truth, return to this higher level of consciousness again and again. Do not, through mental laziness, wholly surrender to the ebb and flow of spiritual consciousness energies and become a spiritual 'see-saw'.
I cannot emphasize this danger of self-obstruction strongly enough. Become actively aware of it. If u know anything of the accounts of my life in Palestine, u will recall that I, too, suffered the phenomenon of ebb and flow of spiritual consciousness and found it necessary to absent myself in the hills to pray and meditate and renew my spiritual strength.
Therefore, understand ur 'dry' periods, but do not give way to them by yielding passively to an undesirable change in ur attitudes and mental/emotional patterns. As u conscientiously draw upon ur Source of Being for new strength and upliftment of ur consciousness frequencies, so will these negative periods be greatly reduced in strength and duration.
I repeat, at all times, beware how u use ur minds! Let ur mind activity always be constructive that it may contribute to ur own spiritual growth rather than its constant hindrance.
Soul
This is really true. I was in a low ebb when I lost Z, let go of new job and I give way by reducing my practices, self-pity as I tot investment no longer worth the price
Father, I didn't sleep well yday cos I slept nearly 1 am and then woke up about 5 am. Then I slept back and wake up at 6.45 am and went for my morning walk. But despite my tiredness, there is a lightness to my steps and I sang guru pooja in my mind and hum some tunes.
Father, I finally see the volunteering as what it was, a tool. I am now here to check the sound system. Alas, nothing to check and I pester for earlier testing. Father, I m surprised, the old me would have reacted. Came all the way and nothing to see. But now I just go away quietly.
Fifth Letter
I want u to understand fully, that nowhere has it been made clear in ur New Testament that I brought a teaching completely opposed to the teachings in the Old Testament and therefore the New Testament as a true record of my life and teachings cannot be trusted or accepted or believed.
I am here to tell u that when u have purified ur consciousness of the gross human tots and feelings pertaining to the ego-drive, and persevere in meditation and a lifting up of ur consciousness to the Universal, u will begin to feel the spiritual power invading ur mind and eventually ur whole body.
I have come to help u remove the barriers by enlightening ur present ignorance and teaching u how to open ur consciousness - ur entire being - to the inflow of THAT WHICH BROUGHT YOU INTO BEING.
True contact with the Source of ur Being, is only experienced when u have sufficiently cleansed ur consciousness of the gross human ego-drive and have spent some time in meditation and a regular emotionally powerful 'reaching out' in consciousness to ur Source seeking contact and renewal and refreshment of Spirit.
This is the true purpose behind existence. A constant and mutual reciprocation of communication between the Source of all Being and creation.
Soul
I can identify this with Isha practices and monthly Sathsang which is a meeting with the Truth.
Father, I was losing faith in practices when I lost Z. But now with these Letters on Christ Return, it somehow affirms my path and I felt reconnected to Sadhguru again. My faith is back. On Z, life is not serious, what will be will be.
Father, I wanted to share with Z, I wanted to share with P and then V on my return. But alas, I didn't. Need not announce my arrival.
Fifth Letter
Daily, sincere meditation and prayer will enable a mental cleansing to take place and gradually TRUTH and UNDERSTANDING will replace the old myths which once were dear to u.
Soul
I may not have indoctrinated religious teachings or beliefs but my self-will is strong. That's why for me, the break up is on my personality, my personal likes and dislikes.
Fifth Letter
Doubt destroys steady progress because it creates its own 'consciousness forms' which will suppress and even eradicate the insight u had gained previously. Therefore ur choice of tots - belief or disbelief, doubt or faith - construct or destroy ur progress in ur search for TRUTH. Any denial erases from ur consciousness the progress which has been previously made.
Soul
No wonder. When my faith drop, diligence in practices drops, I become lazy and now hata is stretched and I cannot feel my subtle body.
Fifth Letter
Furthermore the higher u ascend in spiritual truth, the more powerful do ur tots become.
Soul
Aiyoh. No wonder the drop was so fast when I lost faith after I lost Z.
Fifth Letter
Therefore, create and hold fast to ur own spiritual momentum and allow no one to intrude and undermine that momentum. Hold firm to ur former perceptions. In times of doubt, cruise along in positive tots, using enlightening affirmations, clinging to earlier inspirational guidance when ur consciousness frequencies of vibrations were higher.
By use of ur willpower, choosing affirmations containing 'golden nugget' of spiritual Truth, return to this higher level of consciousness again and again. Do not, through mental laziness, wholly surrender to the ebb and flow of spiritual consciousness energies and become a spiritual 'see-saw'.
I cannot emphasize this danger of self-obstruction strongly enough. Become actively aware of it. If u know anything of the accounts of my life in Palestine, u will recall that I, too, suffered the phenomenon of ebb and flow of spiritual consciousness and found it necessary to absent myself in the hills to pray and meditate and renew my spiritual strength.
Therefore, understand ur 'dry' periods, but do not give way to them by yielding passively to an undesirable change in ur attitudes and mental/emotional patterns. As u conscientiously draw upon ur Source of Being for new strength and upliftment of ur consciousness frequencies, so will these negative periods be greatly reduced in strength and duration.
I repeat, at all times, beware how u use ur minds! Let ur mind activity always be constructive that it may contribute to ur own spiritual growth rather than its constant hindrance.
Soul
This is really true. I was in a low ebb when I lost Z, let go of new job and I give way by reducing my practices, self-pity as I tot investment no longer worth the price
Sadhguru really works! Volunteering is just another device
Oct 20 Eve
Mystic Musings
So just doing things that u don't like brings an enormous amount of awareness.
If u use them - the physical body, the tot process, the emotions and the energy - u will see on all these four levels u will begin to become more and more aware, which is definitely happening. So, this awareness is cultivated. As this happens, slowly awareness sets things apart.
As u become more and more aware of the body, u will see that u and ur body are separate. As u become more and more aware of the mind, u will see that u and ur mind are separate. As u become more and more aware of the emotion, u will see that u and ur emotion are separate.
As u become more and more aware of the ur physical life energy, u will see that u and ur physical life energy are separate.
So, what is 'you' becomes a formless thing. It may not still be a living reality that u r truly formless. Formless means boundless. Form means bound. It may not be an actual reality that u r formless, but slowly the form is becoming weaker; that's for sure.
Soul
Yea, like me being a sathsang guide. I don't like it but I knew I want it to be good and hence I deliver the best I can eventhough I don't like to do it.
Mystic Musings
With the practice and with the devices that are given, depending upon how intensely and how diligently u r applying these devices in ur life - using these devices - accordingly to that extent u will see, ur form will become weaker.
A form means a limitation, isn't it? A form is a limit; formless is limitless. So, the spiritual process means u r always seeking the limitless. That means to somehow break the form; but u cannot seek the limitless because u don't know what it is. U know the limited, so u start chipping away at the limited. If u break everything that is limited, the unlimited is bound to happen. Unlimited is not something that u create. Breaking off the limited is all that u can do. So that's the whole process. (Page 142)
Soul
A HA! That's the whole purpose of volunteering. That's is also another tool from Sadhguru. The sadhana opens us up the forms and the volunteering is the action that breaks the forms.
It is just like free style helps me to reduce my fear of water and open me up to more exposure.
Going for swimming lesson to do breast stroke and water threading is the action that remove the old fear completely. Similar to me firstly swimming towards the center of pool with rope and then followed by swimming in a diving pool with depth of 5 meter. It breaks down my previous limitation.
Suddenly I felt so overwhelmed and close my eyes. At first tears came and then moments later I started to laugh non-stop.
Me who never wanted to volunteer, never enjoyed volunteering but alas finally understand volunteering is the tool to break away the old forms that has been cracked open by sadhanas.
A tot came to me, just like I resist volunteering, that's means those who resist sathsang also may come to this realisation.
Its a real irony! I who always proclaimed I don't like to volunteer, who doesn't believe in volunteering, now finally see the truth behind the veil of volunteering. It is not volunteering for others, it is volunteering for our forms to be broken away.
Sadhguru has said this before but I dismiss it cos it was so incongruous to my belief and also I didn't want to break my form.
No wonder I plateau despite my intensity of practices. I myself are responsible for being on plateau as I didn't want to break the forms which has already been cracked by sadhanas.
It is my own limitation I am breaking up. It is my own liberation that I m giving to myself! It is not volunteering.
I love Z. He is my tool too. Everytime I passed my lesson with Z, something inside me unfolds!
Sadhguru really works!
Mystic Musings
So just doing things that u don't like brings an enormous amount of awareness.
If u use them - the physical body, the tot process, the emotions and the energy - u will see on all these four levels u will begin to become more and more aware, which is definitely happening. So, this awareness is cultivated. As this happens, slowly awareness sets things apart.
As u become more and more aware of the body, u will see that u and ur body are separate. As u become more and more aware of the mind, u will see that u and ur mind are separate. As u become more and more aware of the emotion, u will see that u and ur emotion are separate.
As u become more and more aware of the ur physical life energy, u will see that u and ur physical life energy are separate.
So, what is 'you' becomes a formless thing. It may not still be a living reality that u r truly formless. Formless means boundless. Form means bound. It may not be an actual reality that u r formless, but slowly the form is becoming weaker; that's for sure.
Soul
Yea, like me being a sathsang guide. I don't like it but I knew I want it to be good and hence I deliver the best I can eventhough I don't like to do it.
Mystic Musings
With the practice and with the devices that are given, depending upon how intensely and how diligently u r applying these devices in ur life - using these devices - accordingly to that extent u will see, ur form will become weaker.
A form means a limitation, isn't it? A form is a limit; formless is limitless. So, the spiritual process means u r always seeking the limitless. That means to somehow break the form; but u cannot seek the limitless because u don't know what it is. U know the limited, so u start chipping away at the limited. If u break everything that is limited, the unlimited is bound to happen. Unlimited is not something that u create. Breaking off the limited is all that u can do. So that's the whole process. (Page 142)
Soul
A HA! That's the whole purpose of volunteering. That's is also another tool from Sadhguru. The sadhana opens us up the forms and the volunteering is the action that breaks the forms.
It is just like free style helps me to reduce my fear of water and open me up to more exposure.
Going for swimming lesson to do breast stroke and water threading is the action that remove the old fear completely. Similar to me firstly swimming towards the center of pool with rope and then followed by swimming in a diving pool with depth of 5 meter. It breaks down my previous limitation.
Suddenly I felt so overwhelmed and close my eyes. At first tears came and then moments later I started to laugh non-stop.
Me who never wanted to volunteer, never enjoyed volunteering but alas finally understand volunteering is the tool to break away the old forms that has been cracked open by sadhanas.
A tot came to me, just like I resist volunteering, that's means those who resist sathsang also may come to this realisation.
Its a real irony! I who always proclaimed I don't like to volunteer, who doesn't believe in volunteering, now finally see the truth behind the veil of volunteering. It is not volunteering for others, it is volunteering for our forms to be broken away.
Sadhguru has said this before but I dismiss it cos it was so incongruous to my belief and also I didn't want to break my form.
No wonder I plateau despite my intensity of practices. I myself are responsible for being on plateau as I didn't want to break the forms which has already been cracked by sadhanas.
It is my own limitation I am breaking up. It is my own liberation that I m giving to myself! It is not volunteering.
I love Z. He is my tool too. Everytime I passed my lesson with Z, something inside me unfolds!
Sadhguru really works!
Energy is the quickest way to be receptive
Oct 20 Eve
Mystic's Musings
The moment ur receptivity is right, God is. There is no need to search for God. There is no need to search for Truth. It is not something u search for. It is just that u r prepared to receive; that's all. It something that is everywhere, something that is always. So, there is no question of finding it. It is just that u have to create the right kind of receptivity and it is there.
Whatever spiritual process we start - on all levels of body, mind, emotion and energy - slowly all these dimensions are handled, but one thing which is easily at hand for u is the mind and emotions. Making urself mentally open is very fundamental and very crucial, because this is something that is immediately in ur hands.
Ur energy is not in ur hands; u don't know how to open it. Even ur physical body, u don't know how to keep it open, but ur mind is something that u can consciously open. That's why a lot of talk is going on about opening the mind, not because its the most important, but because right now that is most available for people.
For opening other dimensions, anyway sadhana is there. U don't have to understand how. U just do the sadhana and it opens up, but if the energy opens up - on the level of ur energy, if ur karmic structure opens up and becomes more receptive then u don't have to bother about ur mind, emotions or anything, because suddenly everything changes.
If u go through the mind, emotion or body, it is more accessible way, but a very long way. If u open up the energy, it is not so accessible, but if u opened with a certain external influence, then its a very quick way. U don't have to understand anything. What is happening is beautiful.
Soul
Exactly. I exploded since day one on shambavi initiation. I had no expectation nor any longing. It just happen, suddenly I was crying and then it changed into laughter. I have been laughing ever since.
Then it happen when I step into Teethakoon, I just started to cry unexpectedly and then explode into laughter.
Then it happens during suria namaskara and asanas, I started to cry unexpectedly and then giggle into laughter.
Even in Linga Bhairavi temple, I just giggle into laughter.
The same thing happens when I step into a rain shower or a burst of water, or after a lap of swim in the pool, suddenly laughter just erupted
Somehow all the kriyas and asanas and structures that Sadhguru created has an unexplained effect of me. I don't understand anything but what happens is truly beautiful.
Mystic's Musings
The moment ur receptivity is right, God is. There is no need to search for God. There is no need to search for Truth. It is not something u search for. It is just that u r prepared to receive; that's all. It something that is everywhere, something that is always. So, there is no question of finding it. It is just that u have to create the right kind of receptivity and it is there.
Whatever spiritual process we start - on all levels of body, mind, emotion and energy - slowly all these dimensions are handled, but one thing which is easily at hand for u is the mind and emotions. Making urself mentally open is very fundamental and very crucial, because this is something that is immediately in ur hands.
Ur energy is not in ur hands; u don't know how to open it. Even ur physical body, u don't know how to keep it open, but ur mind is something that u can consciously open. That's why a lot of talk is going on about opening the mind, not because its the most important, but because right now that is most available for people.
For opening other dimensions, anyway sadhana is there. U don't have to understand how. U just do the sadhana and it opens up, but if the energy opens up - on the level of ur energy, if ur karmic structure opens up and becomes more receptive then u don't have to bother about ur mind, emotions or anything, because suddenly everything changes.
If u go through the mind, emotion or body, it is more accessible way, but a very long way. If u open up the energy, it is not so accessible, but if u opened with a certain external influence, then its a very quick way. U don't have to understand anything. What is happening is beautiful.
Soul
Exactly. I exploded since day one on shambavi initiation. I had no expectation nor any longing. It just happen, suddenly I was crying and then it changed into laughter. I have been laughing ever since.
Then it happen when I step into Teethakoon, I just started to cry unexpectedly and then explode into laughter.
Then it happens during suria namaskara and asanas, I started to cry unexpectedly and then giggle into laughter.
Even in Linga Bhairavi temple, I just giggle into laughter.
The same thing happens when I step into a rain shower or a burst of water, or after a lap of swim in the pool, suddenly laughter just erupted
Somehow all the kriyas and asanas and structures that Sadhguru created has an unexplained effect of me. I don't understand anything but what happens is truly beautiful.
Doing things we don't like but is good for us is to cultivate awareness
Oct 20 Eve
There were some tots of Z but I waive it off. Life is a play. At that moment I wanted to share my love. Now I don't want to and don't need to. This when my awareness needed to take over.
When my love for him is overflowing and I cannot contain, just share. When I wanted love from him, that's when I needed to be conscious and hold back.
Father, life is truly a play.
Mystic's Musings
Now the whole thing is to shift into making conscious choices. Even a simple act - like when u wake up in the morning, the unconscious choice is that u don't want to wake up. When the sun rises, u want to pull the sheet up a little higher over ur face. Ur physical body wants to remain in bed for some more time, and some more time.
For so many reasons, it doesn't want to get up. There are so many aspects of life, so many limitations in ur experience of life, that in many ways, unconsciously, u r not really looking forward to the day.
Let's just say tomorrow u planned to go on a picnic. U r looking forward and it is a joyful experience. U will see, u will wake up before the sun comes up. Otherwise unconsciously, u try to pull the sheet higher over ur face because this light is not something u r looking forward to.
Soul
I guess that's what happens to me since early mid July when Z suddenly decides to opt out and then we barely got back together in Sept and then off again. Perhaps that's why I didn't want to wake up. Nothing to look forward to.
Mystic's Musings
Why ascetic paths were set is simply because of this; u start doing things that are naturally not comfortable for u. Once u start doing such activity that is uncomfortable for u, u do it but u don't like it. If u have to do something u do not like, u can only do it consciously, there is no other way to do it. Yes?
Things that u like, u can do compulsively; but things that u don't like, u can only do consciously. That is why the ascetic path. U start doing everything consciously.
There is no other way. Now slowly u r practising how to be conscious in various situations in ur life. To stay away from food, there is no choice except being conscious about it, but to go and eat, u don't need consciousness; u can simply go and grab it when u r hungry.
For example, we only have 2 meals a day. By the time this meal comes, naturally u r very hungry but u don't eat immediately. U will wait for everybody to sit down. U wait for something to go onto everybody's plate, then u utter an invocation, and then u slowly eat. This needs consciousness. It takes enormous awareness for a person. To grab and eat would be very simple, but u will become more and more unconscious.
This consciousness is brought into ur life. Every morning u want to sleep but u wake up and do ur yoga kriyas. U can't do it any other way but by being conscious about it. So, like this, u r cultivating awareness into different aspects of ur life.
Maybe initially ur awareness is only for half an hour a day, but gradually u r bringing awareness into various aspects of life like this. The idea of cultivating awareness is so that it slowly seeps into ur life.
In one way that is a reality; u r cultivating awareness. One thing is does is, it enhances the quality of ur life, but that's not everything. The main aspect is that if u can maintain awareness in various kinds of situations in life, only then will u even become capable of being aware at that moment when u have to part with the body. Otherwise that never arises in ur life.
Soul
Suddenly I tot Z be great. He got tremendous awareness or perhaps focus of will power or mind. He is able to harness it into the direction he wants. At the moment it is geared on money. The same with E too. Do I also have it, the drive? Oh yea, they are one sided, extreme. Their karma is to be "balanced". Z balance of life style and E balance of rship.
On myself, these days I take time out for shoonya even during off days.
There were some tots of Z but I waive it off. Life is a play. At that moment I wanted to share my love. Now I don't want to and don't need to. This when my awareness needed to take over.
When my love for him is overflowing and I cannot contain, just share. When I wanted love from him, that's when I needed to be conscious and hold back.
Father, life is truly a play.
Mystic's Musings
Now the whole thing is to shift into making conscious choices. Even a simple act - like when u wake up in the morning, the unconscious choice is that u don't want to wake up. When the sun rises, u want to pull the sheet up a little higher over ur face. Ur physical body wants to remain in bed for some more time, and some more time.
For so many reasons, it doesn't want to get up. There are so many aspects of life, so many limitations in ur experience of life, that in many ways, unconsciously, u r not really looking forward to the day.
Let's just say tomorrow u planned to go on a picnic. U r looking forward and it is a joyful experience. U will see, u will wake up before the sun comes up. Otherwise unconsciously, u try to pull the sheet higher over ur face because this light is not something u r looking forward to.
Soul
I guess that's what happens to me since early mid July when Z suddenly decides to opt out and then we barely got back together in Sept and then off again. Perhaps that's why I didn't want to wake up. Nothing to look forward to.
Mystic's Musings
Why ascetic paths were set is simply because of this; u start doing things that are naturally not comfortable for u. Once u start doing such activity that is uncomfortable for u, u do it but u don't like it. If u have to do something u do not like, u can only do it consciously, there is no other way to do it. Yes?
Things that u like, u can do compulsively; but things that u don't like, u can only do consciously. That is why the ascetic path. U start doing everything consciously.
There is no other way. Now slowly u r practising how to be conscious in various situations in ur life. To stay away from food, there is no choice except being conscious about it, but to go and eat, u don't need consciousness; u can simply go and grab it when u r hungry.
For example, we only have 2 meals a day. By the time this meal comes, naturally u r very hungry but u don't eat immediately. U will wait for everybody to sit down. U wait for something to go onto everybody's plate, then u utter an invocation, and then u slowly eat. This needs consciousness. It takes enormous awareness for a person. To grab and eat would be very simple, but u will become more and more unconscious.
This consciousness is brought into ur life. Every morning u want to sleep but u wake up and do ur yoga kriyas. U can't do it any other way but by being conscious about it. So, like this, u r cultivating awareness into different aspects of ur life.
Maybe initially ur awareness is only for half an hour a day, but gradually u r bringing awareness into various aspects of life like this. The idea of cultivating awareness is so that it slowly seeps into ur life.
In one way that is a reality; u r cultivating awareness. One thing is does is, it enhances the quality of ur life, but that's not everything. The main aspect is that if u can maintain awareness in various kinds of situations in life, only then will u even become capable of being aware at that moment when u have to part with the body. Otherwise that never arises in ur life.
Soul
Suddenly I tot Z be great. He got tremendous awareness or perhaps focus of will power or mind. He is able to harness it into the direction he wants. At the moment it is geared on money. The same with E too. Do I also have it, the drive? Oh yea, they are one sided, extreme. Their karma is to be "balanced". Z balance of life style and E balance of rship.
On myself, these days I take time out for shoonya even during off days.
Slowly but surely accepting myself without Z
Oct 20
Father, did my asanas. Was laughing quite a bit despite accelerated. Shakti was good with kapala bhakti going smoothly. Shambavi was fine too.
As I was meditating, suddenly an insight came. My instinctive response was to reach out to Z. So, since I m normally unconscious that would be the first thing I do. Then perhaps he is my spiritual lesson. I have to be conscious so I don't reach out to him.
Again I wanted to reach out to Z. But I managed to stop myself. I didn't realised it earlier but he has become my confidante for the past 2 years. Whenever I felt anything, he be the first that I shared with. I know I too was the one he share with. But what to do, we got to end us. Both of us not strong enough, and we will spiral back to the past, something which I don't want to do.
Suddenly it occur to me why I become lazy on my practices. I guess when I lost Z, I tot the benefits is no longer there and no point doing. Anyway, I am back to my practices. I am now just doing cos I enjoy it and it is me.
Father, tots of Z is still buzzing and I cannot contain myself. I checked to my daily Osho card and got this:
Innocence
Zen says if u drop knowledge - and within knowledge everything is included; ur name, ur identity, everything, because this has been given to u by others - if u drop all that has been given by others, u will have a totally different quality to ur being; innocence. This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of ur innocence. U will become a child again, reborn.
The innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike, but not childish. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
Soul
That's how I feel. But still I was not sure. Then I went for the 4 relationship card and got this card again.
1. Me - Innocence
Again the card came and I knew then it is me reborn.
2. Him - Mind
All the rubbish goes on moving in ur heard; ur head goes on spinning and weaving - it keeps u occupied.
The mind is meant to be a servant and now u allow it to run ur lives. The head is fill with mechanisms, the mouth is ranting and raving, and the whole surrounding atmosphere is being polluted by the factory of arguments and opinions.
3. Composite Energies - Playfulness
Life is rarely as serious as we believe it to be and when we recognise this fact, it responds by giving us more and more opportunities to play. The woman in this card is celebrating the joy of being alive, like a butterfly that has emerges from its chrysalis into the promise of the light. She reminds us of the time when we were children, discovering seashells on the beach, building castles in the sand without any concern that the waves might come and wash them away in the next moment. She knows that life is a game and she is playing the part of a clown right now with no sense of embarrassment or pretense.
4. The Insight
The lovers
Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.
Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When ur love is not just a desire for the other, when ur love is not only a need, when ur love is sharing, when ur love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when ur love is not asking but something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. This love then is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wing take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
I have just msg him about my swim and he replied immediately saying that he is still planning for swimming and diving. I responded yea, he is still planning and I am doing. No further response and I am fine. When I want to share, just share.
Father, the way out is acceptance. Acceptance that I still love him despite him not loving me. For now, just share my love. Need not repress it. But I don't want to go back to the past. Let our rship turn into friendship.
Soul
I was updating my abridged book on Ask and It is given and saw the journal I wrote back in Year 2009.
In the end, this whole inner journey is just to accept ourselves, both good and bad. Once we accept ourselves, we felt love flowing thru us.
Isn't that's why we are searching for partner? For someone to accept us as we are, not to reject us when they found us lacking or have weaknesses.
I now accept myself and love myself and I have no need to find a partner to do so. This is so liberating.
Soul
I now accept I loved Z eventhough it is illogical and not smart.
Sadhguru
Whatever it is, illness or calamity that happens around u, u can either use it to liberate urself or u can use it to entangle urself. It is important to face everything with a stable and balanced mind. Avoiding is not the solution. If u avoid it, u get entangled.
Soul
I won't avoid my unrequited love for Z, my Cosmic Lesson. I convert it to universal love, Nine of Hearts.
Was updating my blog and found this journal back in 2009. Desire which I am not getting - acceptance without having to prove myself.
Soul
Yea. Even if I cannot delete Z, I need not force myself to do it in order to get my own self-acceptance.
Father, did my asanas. Was laughing quite a bit despite accelerated. Shakti was good with kapala bhakti going smoothly. Shambavi was fine too.
As I was meditating, suddenly an insight came. My instinctive response was to reach out to Z. So, since I m normally unconscious that would be the first thing I do. Then perhaps he is my spiritual lesson. I have to be conscious so I don't reach out to him.
Again I wanted to reach out to Z. But I managed to stop myself. I didn't realised it earlier but he has become my confidante for the past 2 years. Whenever I felt anything, he be the first that I shared with. I know I too was the one he share with. But what to do, we got to end us. Both of us not strong enough, and we will spiral back to the past, something which I don't want to do.
Suddenly it occur to me why I become lazy on my practices. I guess when I lost Z, I tot the benefits is no longer there and no point doing. Anyway, I am back to my practices. I am now just doing cos I enjoy it and it is me.
Father, tots of Z is still buzzing and I cannot contain myself. I checked to my daily Osho card and got this:
Innocence
Zen says if u drop knowledge - and within knowledge everything is included; ur name, ur identity, everything, because this has been given to u by others - if u drop all that has been given by others, u will have a totally different quality to ur being; innocence. This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of ur innocence. U will become a child again, reborn.
The innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike, but not childish. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
Soul
That's how I feel. But still I was not sure. Then I went for the 4 relationship card and got this card again.
1. Me - Innocence
Again the card came and I knew then it is me reborn.
2. Him - Mind
All the rubbish goes on moving in ur heard; ur head goes on spinning and weaving - it keeps u occupied.
The mind is meant to be a servant and now u allow it to run ur lives. The head is fill with mechanisms, the mouth is ranting and raving, and the whole surrounding atmosphere is being polluted by the factory of arguments and opinions.
3. Composite Energies - Playfulness
Life is rarely as serious as we believe it to be and when we recognise this fact, it responds by giving us more and more opportunities to play. The woman in this card is celebrating the joy of being alive, like a butterfly that has emerges from its chrysalis into the promise of the light. She reminds us of the time when we were children, discovering seashells on the beach, building castles in the sand without any concern that the waves might come and wash them away in the next moment. She knows that life is a game and she is playing the part of a clown right now with no sense of embarrassment or pretense.
4. The Insight
The lovers
Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.
Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When ur love is not just a desire for the other, when ur love is not only a need, when ur love is sharing, when ur love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when ur love is not asking but something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. This love then is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wing take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
I have just msg him about my swim and he replied immediately saying that he is still planning for swimming and diving. I responded yea, he is still planning and I am doing. No further response and I am fine. When I want to share, just share.
Father, the way out is acceptance. Acceptance that I still love him despite him not loving me. For now, just share my love. Need not repress it. But I don't want to go back to the past. Let our rship turn into friendship.
Soul
I was updating my abridged book on Ask and It is given and saw the journal I wrote back in Year 2009.
In the end, this whole inner journey is just to accept ourselves, both good and bad. Once we accept ourselves, we felt love flowing thru us.
Isn't that's why we are searching for partner? For someone to accept us as we are, not to reject us when they found us lacking or have weaknesses.
I now accept myself and love myself and I have no need to find a partner to do so. This is so liberating.
Soul
I now accept I loved Z eventhough it is illogical and not smart.
Sadhguru
Whatever it is, illness or calamity that happens around u, u can either use it to liberate urself or u can use it to entangle urself. It is important to face everything with a stable and balanced mind. Avoiding is not the solution. If u avoid it, u get entangled.
Soul
I won't avoid my unrequited love for Z, my Cosmic Lesson. I convert it to universal love, Nine of Hearts.
Was updating my blog and found this journal back in 2009. Desire which I am not getting - acceptance without having to prove myself.
Soul
Yea. Even if I cannot delete Z, I need not force myself to do it in order to get my own self-acceptance.
Liberation from my fear of water
Oct 19
Father, I finally got the strokes for breast strokes in my 2nd session. I even swam free style in the 5 meter pool. This is so liberating. My coordination is coming along. Thanks to hata yoga. My first tot was to share with Z. I recalled we both wanted to learn diving. Well, just focus on my swim, diving be next.
Evening
Miss Z especially since I watched the drama where the couple were together for 50 years just being contented with each other.
Maybe just be with this loneliness and accept it.
Sadhguru
Meditation may be a quick way which takes u to that level of subtleness, but for a lot of people it is not possible, because their karma, their body or their mind, something will not allow them to meditate. One purpose of doing the practices and yoga kriya is that u become sensitive.
If u just touch a person for one moment, u should know his one hundred lifetimes and what his karma is. U may not know all the details, which city he was born in, and etc .. that is not the point. U know the general trend of his karmas. This is not imagining or hallucinating. It must be crystal clear, just like seeing with ur eyes. That is how it should be. Now the way u act, the way in which u handle people, will be with a different kind of maturity.
Soul
Not sure but I can see MD's karma. And just now when I watched Kimora on tv, suddenly I can see her karmas too.
Sadhguru
What is happening with u all, if u r a little open to me or to the teaching, is just that the volition is taken away, so u just do what is needed.
That is what awareness means; there is no volition. When there is no volition, there is no karma. U simply doing what is needed; that is what acceptance means. That is what unbounded responsibility means, that u don't have any volition about anything.
Soul
Amen.
Father, I finally got the strokes for breast strokes in my 2nd session. I even swam free style in the 5 meter pool. This is so liberating. My coordination is coming along. Thanks to hata yoga. My first tot was to share with Z. I recalled we both wanted to learn diving. Well, just focus on my swim, diving be next.
Evening
Miss Z especially since I watched the drama where the couple were together for 50 years just being contented with each other.
Maybe just be with this loneliness and accept it.
Sadhguru
Meditation may be a quick way which takes u to that level of subtleness, but for a lot of people it is not possible, because their karma, their body or their mind, something will not allow them to meditate. One purpose of doing the practices and yoga kriya is that u become sensitive.
If u just touch a person for one moment, u should know his one hundred lifetimes and what his karma is. U may not know all the details, which city he was born in, and etc .. that is not the point. U know the general trend of his karmas. This is not imagining or hallucinating. It must be crystal clear, just like seeing with ur eyes. That is how it should be. Now the way u act, the way in which u handle people, will be with a different kind of maturity.
Soul
Not sure but I can see MD's karma. And just now when I watched Kimora on tv, suddenly I can see her karmas too.
Sadhguru
What is happening with u all, if u r a little open to me or to the teaching, is just that the volition is taken away, so u just do what is needed.
That is what awareness means; there is no volition. When there is no volition, there is no karma. U simply doing what is needed; that is what acceptance means. That is what unbounded responsibility means, that u don't have any volition about anything.
Soul
Amen.
My Being is dependent on my investment in spiritual path
Oct 18 Eve
Miss Z. Such irony. When he was away in Europe for 2 weeks, I don't miss him. But now he is back, I yearn for him. But I don't want to go back.
Fourth Letter
No matter what u do, what u possess, the position u occupy in life, there is no limit to ur potential development for good. There is no limit to the potential grandeur and glory of ur being.
Ur only limitation is the amount of time and energy, u r prepared to devote to mediating on ur SOURCE of BEING and opening ur human consciousness to enter into IT and receive IT into ur mind.
Soul
Guess the more diligent ur in meditation, the more human conscious we become.
Fourth Letter
U can do much damage with ur thinking and feeling. Damage to others and damage to urself. Therefore, guard them - tools of ur creativity - well, and at all times turn to the "Father", and ask for relief for any tot which is contrary to true unconditional love. According to ur power and the sincere faith in which u raise ur mind to Divine Consciousness, ur tots will be imbued with new life and love.
When men and women are nearing an equal balance of male and female natures within themselves, their task in life is to transcend their sexual drive through achieving unconditional love for all people and directing the drive itself into pure creativity - such as the arts. Of such people are "Masters' made, masters of themselves, masters of creativity, masters of human consciousness, masters of 'matters'.
Soul
I have just started on perimenopause, does this means I am nearing my equal balance and need to transcend my sexual drive. Surprisingly while I miss Z and I enjoy our sex, I am not stuck on it.
Mmm, on my creativity, nothing is happening at the website areas. Also recently been thinking of catering for Arthritic people. They are the ones that really need help vs others. They are the one who is in chronic suffering and hence is more receptive.
Miss Z. Such irony. When he was away in Europe for 2 weeks, I don't miss him. But now he is back, I yearn for him. But I don't want to go back.
Fourth Letter
No matter what u do, what u possess, the position u occupy in life, there is no limit to ur potential development for good. There is no limit to the potential grandeur and glory of ur being.
Ur only limitation is the amount of time and energy, u r prepared to devote to mediating on ur SOURCE of BEING and opening ur human consciousness to enter into IT and receive IT into ur mind.
Soul
Guess the more diligent ur in meditation, the more human conscious we become.
Fourth Letter
U can do much damage with ur thinking and feeling. Damage to others and damage to urself. Therefore, guard them - tools of ur creativity - well, and at all times turn to the "Father", and ask for relief for any tot which is contrary to true unconditional love. According to ur power and the sincere faith in which u raise ur mind to Divine Consciousness, ur tots will be imbued with new life and love.
When men and women are nearing an equal balance of male and female natures within themselves, their task in life is to transcend their sexual drive through achieving unconditional love for all people and directing the drive itself into pure creativity - such as the arts. Of such people are "Masters' made, masters of themselves, masters of creativity, masters of human consciousness, masters of 'matters'.
Soul
I have just started on perimenopause, does this means I am nearing my equal balance and need to transcend my sexual drive. Surprisingly while I miss Z and I enjoy our sex, I am not stuck on it.
Mmm, on my creativity, nothing is happening at the website areas. Also recently been thinking of catering for Arthritic people. They are the ones that really need help vs others. They are the one who is in chronic suffering and hence is more receptive.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Still having tots of Z
Oct 18 Aft
Got back from medical check up. Was feeling tired and did my shoonya. Feel much rested and now at Cafe doing my writing.
Soul
Had tots of Z. I wonder whether he misses me. Just checked our cards.
Me - Slowing - hopes are fading away. Their disappearance making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is and u r able to welcome this development in a way u have never been able to before. Savour this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognising that u r already at home.
Him - Schizophrenia - indecisive causing him unhappiness.
Soul
I got no hopes on him. He is so dense, I think he follows his mind. He takes pride on it. How to let go?
3. Composite Energies
Maturity
Joy and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. I have come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness.
4. The Insight
Guilt
Soul
Not sure what this means.
Got back from medical check up. Was feeling tired and did my shoonya. Feel much rested and now at Cafe doing my writing.
Soul
Had tots of Z. I wonder whether he misses me. Just checked our cards.
Me - Slowing - hopes are fading away. Their disappearance making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is and u r able to welcome this development in a way u have never been able to before. Savour this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognising that u r already at home.
Him - Schizophrenia - indecisive causing him unhappiness.
Soul
I got no hopes on him. He is so dense, I think he follows his mind. He takes pride on it. How to let go?
3. Composite Energies
Maturity
Joy and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. I have come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness.
4. The Insight
Guilt
Soul
Not sure what this means.
Whoever need my sharing, will come
Oct 18
Father, I put alarm at 6 am today. Body woke up 5 plus but I was not keen to wake up. Woke up upon alarm and did guru pooja, bit of breathing , followed by shakti and shambavi. I feel good.
Father, yday I read an article of selflessness is required in caring for children. I then knew I can't be selfless and hence said no to children.
Yday I dreamed Z came to our house and mom was shocked to hear about him being my boyfriend. I told her that Z is not.
Had listened to two Sadhguru youtube video. There is one topic on Success with Sadhana. He said about going nowhere if we r split. The energy wants to expand and here we want to limit ourselves. We must choose. He said effort may be required but it is not necessary.
Mmm, looks like my Total cholesterol is 6 and Bad cholesterol 4 plus. Base line for total cholesterol is 5.5. But I have improved bad cholesterol from 4.9 to 4.3.
Looks like I have to control diet. Will focus on fish rather than meat.
Fourth Letter
The Law of Existence: What u carry in ur minds and hearts will eventually externalise in ur body, life and world.
Soul
This morning tot of my website being delayed again as there is no response from freelancers.
Then I said God will direct whoever who needs my sharing. Just like my blog, there are about 15 hits daily.
Suddenly today, I got to meet Ha, a fellow RA and she wants to do yoga and tot of following me to India in Dec. We both also tot of RA is a blessing. I intro her to IshaKriya. Yea, God will led whoever needs me to me. I need not search. Her medical appt was supposed to be next week but accelerated to today, a coincidence.
She is already in her 12th year of RA and now need medicine infusion. She has grown old. Father, looking at her, I am motivated back to be on my yoga path.
The Universe is answering my calling.
On hata yoga refresher. Coincidentally, there are changes to suria and asanas and I can't join cos I am outstation. So it was perfect that I be in ashram for hata yoga refresher.
Father, I put alarm at 6 am today. Body woke up 5 plus but I was not keen to wake up. Woke up upon alarm and did guru pooja, bit of breathing , followed by shakti and shambavi. I feel good.
Father, yday I read an article of selflessness is required in caring for children. I then knew I can't be selfless and hence said no to children.
Yday I dreamed Z came to our house and mom was shocked to hear about him being my boyfriend. I told her that Z is not.
Had listened to two Sadhguru youtube video. There is one topic on Success with Sadhana. He said about going nowhere if we r split. The energy wants to expand and here we want to limit ourselves. We must choose. He said effort may be required but it is not necessary.
Mmm, looks like my Total cholesterol is 6 and Bad cholesterol 4 plus. Base line for total cholesterol is 5.5. But I have improved bad cholesterol from 4.9 to 4.3.
Looks like I have to control diet. Will focus on fish rather than meat.
Fourth Letter
The Law of Existence: What u carry in ur minds and hearts will eventually externalise in ur body, life and world.
Soul
This morning tot of my website being delayed again as there is no response from freelancers.
Then I said God will direct whoever who needs my sharing. Just like my blog, there are about 15 hits daily.
Suddenly today, I got to meet Ha, a fellow RA and she wants to do yoga and tot of following me to India in Dec. We both also tot of RA is a blessing. I intro her to IshaKriya. Yea, God will led whoever needs me to me. I need not search. Her medical appt was supposed to be next week but accelerated to today, a coincidence.
She is already in her 12th year of RA and now need medicine infusion. She has grown old. Father, looking at her, I am motivated back to be on my yoga path.
The Universe is answering my calling.
On hata yoga refresher. Coincidentally, there are changes to suria and asanas and I can't join cos I am outstation. So it was perfect that I be in ashram for hata yoga refresher.
With Light, love comes too
Oct 17
Wake up when alarm rang. Feeling bit tired but did my practices. Body is tired but there is no burden. I work because I want to not because I have to.
Did my asanas, but only one cycle for the rest.
Oct 17 Eve
Father, had a good meeting at the Labour office. Confirmed that I did all I could. For protocol and future sake, I have to hold on. WY praised me that I gave a good argument, and wonder if I ever regret that I am not a lawyer. I said nope.
Since the meeting ended late, I couldn't go back and went for a shower at ex-office instead. When I got to the shower, suddenly I exploded into laughter. I have a great time laughing.
Suddenly I tot of Z and wonder whether he miss me. Then a waive of tot, move on.
Third Letter
Each visible substance possesses its own unique vibrational frequency. A change in the rate of vibration produces a change in the appearance of "matter". As consciousness energies change, so do the appearances of "matter" change.
Whilst living on earth, ur minds remain anchored within certain parameters of vibrational frequencies, imprisoned in bodies which have their own needs. If ur consciousness were to truly soar beyond these parameters, ur earthly self would disappear.
Soul
The lower the consciousness, the more dense the appearance of the 'matter'.
Third Letter
As u radiate LIGHT, u will radiate unconditional love.
U will promote the growth and spiritual development of every other living entity.
U will yearn to nourish and nurture, u will work to promote protection and healing and education.
U will long to assist in the establishment of loving law and order in which all will be able to live harmoniously, successfully and prosperously.
U will be in the Kingdom of Heaven
Soul
Now I know I am on the right track!
Wake up when alarm rang. Feeling bit tired but did my practices. Body is tired but there is no burden. I work because I want to not because I have to.
Did my asanas, but only one cycle for the rest.
Oct 17 Eve
Father, had a good meeting at the Labour office. Confirmed that I did all I could. For protocol and future sake, I have to hold on. WY praised me that I gave a good argument, and wonder if I ever regret that I am not a lawyer. I said nope.
Since the meeting ended late, I couldn't go back and went for a shower at ex-office instead. When I got to the shower, suddenly I exploded into laughter. I have a great time laughing.
Suddenly I tot of Z and wonder whether he miss me. Then a waive of tot, move on.
Third Letter
Each visible substance possesses its own unique vibrational frequency. A change in the rate of vibration produces a change in the appearance of "matter". As consciousness energies change, so do the appearances of "matter" change.
Whilst living on earth, ur minds remain anchored within certain parameters of vibrational frequencies, imprisoned in bodies which have their own needs. If ur consciousness were to truly soar beyond these parameters, ur earthly self would disappear.
Soul
The lower the consciousness, the more dense the appearance of the 'matter'.
Third Letter
As u radiate LIGHT, u will radiate unconditional love.
U will promote the growth and spiritual development of every other living entity.
U will yearn to nourish and nurture, u will work to promote protection and healing and education.
U will long to assist in the establishment of loving law and order in which all will be able to live harmoniously, successfully and prosperously.
U will be in the Kingdom of Heaven
Soul
Now I know I am on the right track!
Our frequencies drops when doubts and fear crepts in
Oct 16 Aft
Did my shoonya. It was so pleasurable. I was giggling throughout. When I was joyful, suddenly a feeling of love felt for Z. Feel an ease within me.
Father, I love Z but I am not going back. I want a real partner, one that will be with me for my new year family dinner. I love Z but I can have choices.
Father, no news yet on my website. I know the right one will come along.
Third Letter
If u could believe in what u ask for, as powerfully as does a mustard seed know its own identity, u would be able to do anything u wanted to do.
If u could carry within ur mind, a seed - the perfected plan of ur heartfelt goals, and know beyond all doubt, that it can grow and come into perfect fruition, u would see this wonderful seed take on a life of its own which would presently manifest in ur life.
And u could surely move the mountains in ur lives - those mountains which stand across ur path and prevent u from achieving all that u would like - mountains which, in times of recklessness and evil thinking have been created by urself.
If u only understood creation and existence, u would be able to live lives of total freedom, limitless achievement and transcendent joy.
Ur entire universe manifest the differing frequencies of vibrations of consciousness energy particles. As these frequencies move up or down from one level to another, so do the visible and physical structures manifest differing levels of energy and there is a change of mental patterns and emotions and appearance.
When u give way to doubts and fears, the normal level of frequencies will drop.
Did my shoonya. It was so pleasurable. I was giggling throughout. When I was joyful, suddenly a feeling of love felt for Z. Feel an ease within me.
Father, I love Z but I am not going back. I want a real partner, one that will be with me for my new year family dinner. I love Z but I can have choices.
Father, no news yet on my website. I know the right one will come along.
Third Letter
If u could believe in what u ask for, as powerfully as does a mustard seed know its own identity, u would be able to do anything u wanted to do.
If u could carry within ur mind, a seed - the perfected plan of ur heartfelt goals, and know beyond all doubt, that it can grow and come into perfect fruition, u would see this wonderful seed take on a life of its own which would presently manifest in ur life.
And u could surely move the mountains in ur lives - those mountains which stand across ur path and prevent u from achieving all that u would like - mountains which, in times of recklessness and evil thinking have been created by urself.
If u only understood creation and existence, u would be able to live lives of total freedom, limitless achievement and transcendent joy.
Ur entire universe manifest the differing frequencies of vibrations of consciousness energy particles. As these frequencies move up or down from one level to another, so do the visible and physical structures manifest differing levels of energy and there is a change of mental patterns and emotions and appearance.
When u give way to doubts and fears, the normal level of frequencies will drop.
Christ Returns - Third Letter
Oct 16
Father, I slept about 11.30 pm yday and so I decided to wake up later at 5 am for some suria. I woke when alarm rang. There was no lazing around. Had no resistance on suria. At first I plan to do 3 rounds of suria but body likes it. Then I was wondering if I had time to do more. Mind was deliberating on how many more sets to do. I just said instead of wasting time to deliberate, just do it and I did six cycles.
Shakti was good, I am now more aware of the 4-2-5-2 breathing.
I just shared with P on the letters. I am back. There is no need to knock on other doors. God has given me the door. And I am already in, just need to walk further into His Room.
Third Letter
Without the knowledge of the Truth of Existence, there is no hope of redemption from the travail which mankind is born to endure.
No other salvation is possible. God cannot 'save' u, since, in ignorance of the facts of existence, mankind will continue to make the same earthbound mistakes till the end of time, thus creating his own sickness and misery.
Soul
Yea, this morning suddenly have to prepare the Reference letter for Sy. I caused her hurt and I want to ratify it. This is not a case of me fighting. But a case to be fair. I am willing to pay up to 2 months of salary.
Third Letter
The Law of Cause and Effect is imponderable and an intrinsic - inherent - natural characteristic of existence.
U cannot divorce effects from causation, nor can u erase causation and still have effects. In every level of Being, this is Truth.
God cannot set aside the law of electromagneticism, which are thos of "activity-bonding-rejection"
Ur only hope of final escape, of stepping off the treadmill of human experience is to recognise and acknowledge them and then work minute-by-minute to transcend them and eventually merge, in purity of mind, heart and action, and become 'one' with Universal Love Consciousness.
At the same time, as u grow in awareness of the true NATURE
Soul
Just msg Z on sathsang. Hope he attends. It be good for him. He is still a friend, just like G. Z is in my prayer of thanks everyday together with Father, Sadhguru, Masters, Vijii, Thillai and MySelf.
I feel good today
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and stability. U will experience some mental peace for a while.
Soul
No wonder, finally able to msg Z.
Father, I slept about 11.30 pm yday and so I decided to wake up later at 5 am for some suria. I woke when alarm rang. There was no lazing around. Had no resistance on suria. At first I plan to do 3 rounds of suria but body likes it. Then I was wondering if I had time to do more. Mind was deliberating on how many more sets to do. I just said instead of wasting time to deliberate, just do it and I did six cycles.
Shakti was good, I am now more aware of the 4-2-5-2 breathing.
I just shared with P on the letters. I am back. There is no need to knock on other doors. God has given me the door. And I am already in, just need to walk further into His Room.
Third Letter
Without the knowledge of the Truth of Existence, there is no hope of redemption from the travail which mankind is born to endure.
No other salvation is possible. God cannot 'save' u, since, in ignorance of the facts of existence, mankind will continue to make the same earthbound mistakes till the end of time, thus creating his own sickness and misery.
Soul
Yea, this morning suddenly have to prepare the Reference letter for Sy. I caused her hurt and I want to ratify it. This is not a case of me fighting. But a case to be fair. I am willing to pay up to 2 months of salary.
Third Letter
The Law of Cause and Effect is imponderable and an intrinsic - inherent - natural characteristic of existence.
U cannot divorce effects from causation, nor can u erase causation and still have effects. In every level of Being, this is Truth.
God cannot set aside the law of electromagneticism, which are thos of "activity-bonding-rejection"
Ur only hope of final escape, of stepping off the treadmill of human experience is to recognise and acknowledge them and then work minute-by-minute to transcend them and eventually merge, in purity of mind, heart and action, and become 'one' with Universal Love Consciousness.
At the same time, as u grow in awareness of the true NATURE
Soul
Just msg Z on sathsang. Hope he attends. It be good for him. He is still a friend, just like G. Z is in my prayer of thanks everyday together with Father, Sadhguru, Masters, Vijii, Thillai and MySelf.
I feel good today
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and stability. U will experience some mental peace for a while.
Soul
No wonder, finally able to msg Z.
Purifying samyama
Oct 15 Eve
What a samyama! I was suddenly exhaling sounds from deep inside me. I cried tears of deep anguish from within me. Finally all my fears is out in the open. I was afraid that no one will love me.
When I finished my practice, I felt such huge love for myself. I am at ease now, I feel purified. Amen.
Sadhguru, thank U for giving me the tools to connect with the final door. I couldn't have open it without U. Father, thank U for always bringing me whatever I need.
I am making peace with the religion I had resistance on namely Christianity and Buddhism. Suddenly I felt like listening to Buddha's puja too.
What a samyama! I was suddenly exhaling sounds from deep inside me. I cried tears of deep anguish from within me. Finally all my fears is out in the open. I was afraid that no one will love me.
When I finished my practice, I felt such huge love for myself. I am at ease now, I feel purified. Amen.
Sadhguru, thank U for giving me the tools to connect with the final door. I couldn't have open it without U. Father, thank U for always bringing me whatever I need.
I am making peace with the religion I had resistance on namely Christianity and Buddhism. Suddenly I felt like listening to Buddha's puja too.
Christ Return made me Return too
Oct 15 Aft
Father, there is something on the letters. As I was driving, suddenly I burst out into tears and cried for a while and then start to laugh.
Not sure why, I too felt resurrected as if I too have returned.
Just did my shoonya. I was laughing loads. Not sure why.
Second Letter
Jesus told them it was man himself, who, through wrong thinking and wrong behaviour, shut himself off from the Father within him, and man alone, by first repenting and then by mental-emotional cleansing, could find his own way back to full contact with the Father.
They would experience the Kingdom of Heaven themselves to the extent they set aside the demands of "self" and served other people. They would witness the healings and these would increase their faith and give them the courage to endure any discomforts of the journey.
Soul
Mmm, not sure about that.
Second Letter
You judge ur todays and expect ur tomorrows what u have experienced in the past. Therefore, are the ills of ur yesterdays continually repeated in the future.
U r enslaved by ur memories and ur undeviating belief that what was past must return again and again to burden and wound u.
U do not need to heal ur bodies or try to make ur lives better, u need to heal ur beliefs!
If u could heal all ur beliefs, bring ur beliefs into line with the Father's true intention for u, the wrong beliefs governing ur bodies and lives, would dissolve like mist in the sun.
By indulging ur fearful tots, anxieties and feelings of hopelessness, u r creating the very conditions u want to rectify. U r doing all these bad things to urself.
Soul
Yea. I am SAFE.
Second Letter
When u enter the Kingdom of God, u have a good feeling. U feel happy and joyous. The Kingdom of God where happiness is a state of mind which cannot be touched by the outer world with all its cares and worries.
Soul
That's where I goes every day. That's my bank account of joy. No matter how bad my day, I just closed my eyes I am in, joyful again.
Second Letter
So, if u want to change ur lives - change ur tots,
Change ur words arising from those tots,
Change ur actions arising from the tots.
What is in ur minds will create all ur experiences, ur sickness, poverty, unhappiness and despair.
Soul
I knew that
Second Letter
Give and give abundantly and rejoice that u have gifts to give to those in need because u give so will ur gifts be restored to u in the way u most need them. Give with happy hearts, give in the faith and knowledge that where there is lack in ur lives, so will the Father do Its LOVE WORK abundantly in u - and for u.
Soul
I cannot give cos I tot I don't have. I am protecting what I have I am protecting myself. I need to protect myself cos I don't feel safe. I don't feel abundance.
Here the msg said if I give where I can joyfully, I get paid back in other areas where I am lacking. It may not be in the same area.
Second Letter
Do nothing with heavy heart because a heavy heart is what u will continue to have.
Give everything with joyous spirit, that everything in ur life may bring to u only joy and spiritual insight.
If u r anxious about tomorrow. If u r complaining about tomorrow, u r making ur tomorrows burdensome and weary even before u get to them. Why do it? What good will it do for u? When did anxiety ever accomplish anything for u?
Do not dwell on things u do not have. Dwell on the things which can be urs if u turn to the Father within and ask in perfect faith, believing u will receive.
Father, there is something on the letters. As I was driving, suddenly I burst out into tears and cried for a while and then start to laugh.
Not sure why, I too felt resurrected as if I too have returned.
Just did my shoonya. I was laughing loads. Not sure why.
Second Letter
Jesus told them it was man himself, who, through wrong thinking and wrong behaviour, shut himself off from the Father within him, and man alone, by first repenting and then by mental-emotional cleansing, could find his own way back to full contact with the Father.
They would experience the Kingdom of Heaven themselves to the extent they set aside the demands of "self" and served other people. They would witness the healings and these would increase their faith and give them the courage to endure any discomforts of the journey.
Soul
Mmm, not sure about that.
Second Letter
You judge ur todays and expect ur tomorrows what u have experienced in the past. Therefore, are the ills of ur yesterdays continually repeated in the future.
U r enslaved by ur memories and ur undeviating belief that what was past must return again and again to burden and wound u.
U do not need to heal ur bodies or try to make ur lives better, u need to heal ur beliefs!
If u could heal all ur beliefs, bring ur beliefs into line with the Father's true intention for u, the wrong beliefs governing ur bodies and lives, would dissolve like mist in the sun.
By indulging ur fearful tots, anxieties and feelings of hopelessness, u r creating the very conditions u want to rectify. U r doing all these bad things to urself.
Soul
Yea. I am SAFE.
Second Letter
When u enter the Kingdom of God, u have a good feeling. U feel happy and joyous. The Kingdom of God where happiness is a state of mind which cannot be touched by the outer world with all its cares and worries.
Soul
That's where I goes every day. That's my bank account of joy. No matter how bad my day, I just closed my eyes I am in, joyful again.
Second Letter
So, if u want to change ur lives - change ur tots,
Change ur words arising from those tots,
Change ur actions arising from the tots.
What is in ur minds will create all ur experiences, ur sickness, poverty, unhappiness and despair.
Soul
I knew that
Second Letter
Give and give abundantly and rejoice that u have gifts to give to those in need because u give so will ur gifts be restored to u in the way u most need them. Give with happy hearts, give in the faith and knowledge that where there is lack in ur lives, so will the Father do Its LOVE WORK abundantly in u - and for u.
Soul
I cannot give cos I tot I don't have. I am protecting what I have I am protecting myself. I need to protect myself cos I don't feel safe. I don't feel abundance.
Here the msg said if I give where I can joyfully, I get paid back in other areas where I am lacking. It may not be in the same area.
Second Letter
Do nothing with heavy heart because a heavy heart is what u will continue to have.
Give everything with joyous spirit, that everything in ur life may bring to u only joy and spiritual insight.
If u r anxious about tomorrow. If u r complaining about tomorrow, u r making ur tomorrows burdensome and weary even before u get to them. Why do it? What good will it do for u? When did anxiety ever accomplish anything for u?
Do not dwell on things u do not have. Dwell on the things which can be urs if u turn to the Father within and ask in perfect faith, believing u will receive.
Christ Return - Second Letter
Oct 15
Father, I woke up feeling fresh but was lazy and waited for the alarm. I slept back and then woke up again. But second round feel bit lethargic and went to check my alarm. I forgot to change pm into am. So, I didn't do my practice and hence stale air and heat is still with me.
Father, felt bit guilty cos I 'cheated' but that shows teacher path is not for me. It needed someone precise and detailed.
Father, I am now reading the Return of Christ 2nd Letter. I have always rebel against religion, Christian and Buddhism cos both preached of sinfulness. I believe there is no sin and there is no punishment.
The Second Letter
Question by Miriam - Why does man suffer so grievously?
Answer by Jesus - Because when man is begotten, when LIFE takes on form within the seed, IT takes on the humanhood which separates IT from every other individual in the world. To make IT single, a lone figure, joined to none other, solitary, private, ITS own person, IT becomes subject to - is controlled by two mightily strong impulses in his earthly nature - to hold fast to all those things he greatly desires and to reject and push away all that he does not want.
These two most basic impulses in man underlie every single thing that he does throughout his life and are entirely responsible for the trouble man brings upon himself.
Soul
This exactly what Sadhguru said about Likes and Dislikes. Suddenly I tot of myself. I don't like to do Sathsang, maybe that's why I was chosen. What u resist persist.
Father, thanks for sharing. I had my doubts on being a Transforming agent. I chickened out again. I also tot if I do less practice then the calling will lessen. But here u send Jesus Christ to me.
Now I knew what the Ace of Spades - secret. And this Letters of Jesus Christ are real secrets that can overturn the whole premise of Churches.
Second Letter
Father hold nothing, rejects nothing, condemns nothing, does not even see 'wrongdoing'. All that man does which man calls 'sin' is only of this world and is only punished within this world - for it is a Law of Earthly Existence, as u know, that whatever u sow, u will reap as a like harvest. Because he draws LIFE and MIND from the 'Father', man himself is creative in thoughts, words and deeds. Whatever he thinks, says, does and believes, return to him in like form, some time later. There is no punishment from the 'Father' - whatever ills come to mankind is of their own making entirely.
Soul
And I have always called the Creator as Father. These Letters are for me.
Father, I woke up feeling fresh but was lazy and waited for the alarm. I slept back and then woke up again. But second round feel bit lethargic and went to check my alarm. I forgot to change pm into am. So, I didn't do my practice and hence stale air and heat is still with me.
Father, felt bit guilty cos I 'cheated' but that shows teacher path is not for me. It needed someone precise and detailed.
Father, I am now reading the Return of Christ 2nd Letter. I have always rebel against religion, Christian and Buddhism cos both preached of sinfulness. I believe there is no sin and there is no punishment.
The Second Letter
Question by Miriam - Why does man suffer so grievously?
Answer by Jesus - Because when man is begotten, when LIFE takes on form within the seed, IT takes on the humanhood which separates IT from every other individual in the world. To make IT single, a lone figure, joined to none other, solitary, private, ITS own person, IT becomes subject to - is controlled by two mightily strong impulses in his earthly nature - to hold fast to all those things he greatly desires and to reject and push away all that he does not want.
These two most basic impulses in man underlie every single thing that he does throughout his life and are entirely responsible for the trouble man brings upon himself.
Soul
This exactly what Sadhguru said about Likes and Dislikes. Suddenly I tot of myself. I don't like to do Sathsang, maybe that's why I was chosen. What u resist persist.
Father, thanks for sharing. I had my doubts on being a Transforming agent. I chickened out again. I also tot if I do less practice then the calling will lessen. But here u send Jesus Christ to me.
Now I knew what the Ace of Spades - secret. And this Letters of Jesus Christ are real secrets that can overturn the whole premise of Churches.
Second Letter
Father hold nothing, rejects nothing, condemns nothing, does not even see 'wrongdoing'. All that man does which man calls 'sin' is only of this world and is only punished within this world - for it is a Law of Earthly Existence, as u know, that whatever u sow, u will reap as a like harvest. Because he draws LIFE and MIND from the 'Father', man himself is creative in thoughts, words and deeds. Whatever he thinks, says, does and believes, return to him in like form, some time later. There is no punishment from the 'Father' - whatever ills come to mankind is of their own making entirely.
Soul
And I have always called the Creator as Father. These Letters are for me.
Purification meditation
Oct 14 Eve
When I was preparing for sathsang, suddenly I was singing guru pooja. This has never happen. The last time it happened was a few years ago when I sang during the silence after aum chanting.
This time Brahma nanda, I laugh loads, non-stop.
Father, great sathsang for me. There were a small crowd, only 18. The old me may have feel slighted. The new me was fine with it.
Since the crowd was small, this give me the opportunity to participate. I did the special meditation with partial eyes open and it was great. I felt purified of all anger, hate, jealousies and etc. I was jealous of people in good rship, ladies who are beautiful. I was angry at Pe. As for hate, I don't recall.
Automatically, my body somehow gathers all the negative emotions in my lower belly and move it through my body and into my mouth. It was done by my body. Then Sadhguru guide to expel it. I felt purified. Today I know I don't like to be a teacher, guiding people steps by steps. U can said I am not good, u can said I am not detailed or perhaps I am not patient. Anyway, I just don't like doing it.
When I was preparing for sathsang, suddenly I was singing guru pooja. This has never happen. The last time it happened was a few years ago when I sang during the silence after aum chanting.
This time Brahma nanda, I laugh loads, non-stop.
Father, great sathsang for me. There were a small crowd, only 18. The old me may have feel slighted. The new me was fine with it.
Since the crowd was small, this give me the opportunity to participate. I did the special meditation with partial eyes open and it was great. I felt purified of all anger, hate, jealousies and etc. I was jealous of people in good rship, ladies who are beautiful. I was angry at Pe. As for hate, I don't recall.
Automatically, my body somehow gathers all the negative emotions in my lower belly and move it through my body and into my mouth. It was done by my body. Then Sadhguru guide to expel it. I felt purified. Today I know I don't like to be a teacher, guiding people steps by steps. U can said I am not good, u can said I am not detailed or perhaps I am not patient. Anyway, I just don't like doing it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Guidance came
Oct 14
Father, today walk in the park was different. Physically I was fine, feel fitter than last week.
I had tots about the First letter - talking about the movement of atoms in the matter. I wonder whether my eye sight becomes more sensitive, perhaps I can now see some 'very very minuscule" movement in nature that makes them looks so alive. It is always known that when there is absolute no movement, it is dense - it look lifeless.
I suddenly realise I am on the right track and I can see the movement of molecules in nature forms. I may not be looking for enlightenment but I look for well being and safety.
Suddenly it occur me there is a hidden fear in me. I don't feel safe, no wonder I am defensive internally. And that's why the immune system goes on overdrive and attack myself. And that's why I had defensive tot on the case of Sy in labour court eventhough logically I know I done the best I could. I have no guilt. It was just my auto-defense. I have lifted up the auto control and now left with auto defense.
With this insight, I just told myself "I am safe". At the same time I realised I felt rejection due to lack of beauty in me and hence at times I am envious of beauty. Perhaps that's why I am attracted to tall and handsome guys. All my past attractions has the same attributes. I told myself "I am beautiful"
As I was affirming to myself "I am beautiful and I am safe while I was walking the second round, in the middle of trees, I suddenly erupted into laughter. I just felt joy swell up. I think it must be the trees.
Father, I asked for motivation and you gave me. The First Letter shows that Christ has the same enlightenment as Lord Shiva, as Sadhguru and the others - Law of Existence; law of cause and effect; Law of creation and we are the Creator of our live and our world.
Every path found the same answer. I am on the path. I can already sense the energy of water and nature. I can already sense and see the movement, hence water and trees feels alive to me. The same with Linga Bhairavi pix, I laughed with her almost every night.
I got my motivation back. I am on the right path.
Today Card.
Intensity
Think of all the great words and great teachings as ur deadly enemy. Avoid them, because u have to find ur own source. U have not to be a follower. U have to be an original individual. U have to find ur own innermost core on ur own, with no guide, no guiding scriptures. It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry u r bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with an intense inquiry has found the sunrise. Others only believe. Those who believe are not religious, they are simply avoiding the great adventure of religion by believing.
This figure in this card has taken on the shape of arrow, moving with the single-pointed focus of one who knows precisely where is going. He is moving so fast that he has become alsmost pure energy. Now is the only moment and here is the only space.
When u act with the intensity of the Knight of Fire it is likely to create ripples in the waters around u. Some will feel uplifted and refreshed by ur presence, others may feel threatened or annoyed. But the opinions of others matter little; nothing can hold u back right now.
Soul
Father, thank U. Amen. And if Z is what I have chosen, I can choose again.
I am on track. I am back again.
For the first time I know I can be healed. Now I knew the root of RA is my hidden fear. I wasn't feeling safe. Even in my partner I wanted someone tall and strong and younger so he can protect me. With Z I felt protected physically but unsafe financially because of his financial situation. I also feel unsafe as he withhold his love and want to hide me from his world.
Amen I am safe now.
Eight of Heart
It is an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force" gathering in u, a force u can use to better ur life in many ways.
Soul
Yea. I can finally be healed. Deep down I was just a frightened gal.
Letter No. 1
Mindset is the sum total of all ur conscious and subsconscious programming. It is essential that u should understand that none of this human mindset has its origins in the spiritual dimension.
It is entirely earthly and probably filled with mythical ideas, prejudices, misconceptions, resentments, buried memories of past hurts, and habitual methods of dealing with the ups and downs of life. Ur human mindset (including any religious ideas and beliefs) determines ur world, ur relationships, experiences, successes, failures, happiness and misery. It is even responsible for ur sickness, disease and accidents.
Nothing happens by chance. Everything is woven out of the inner threads of ur personal consciousness - tots, expectations, beliefs in life, fate, "God". U live in a world of ur own making. That is why children raised in the same environment turn out differently. Each one has its own individual Mindset constructed according to inherent character traits.
Without a mindset, u have no life, no development, no evil, no good. Ur TYPE of mindset determines the quality of ur life.
Furthermore, for as long as u live u carry ur mindset with u wherever u go. There is no escaping it, and day after day, it will continue to create for u the type of existence u have experienced in ur past.
Many people go through their entire life believing they are unfortunate. They think that other people have been mean, unkind, ugly to them, and have made their lives thoroughly unhappy. They believe that "other people" quarrel with them and constantly make difficulties whilst they are absolutely innocent of any provocation. On the contrary, "other people" are not to blame. It is the personal mindset which is attracting to them their negative conditions.
Soul
I believe so.
I have always believed I have a good team of staff. And it really happens.
I have always believed people are generally good. And it happens.
I have always believed behind every Angry person is a loving person. And it happens. I can get along with Angry people.
I have always believed I am not lovable. And it happens.
I always believes life is meant for happiness. And it finally happens.
I have always believe sickness is caused by ourself. It took me a long while and finally I can see the fear in me. Finally I acknowledge I am afraid. I don't feel safe. That's why I needed money so I feel safe. But recent events makes me realised money does create safety and may cause feelings of being unsafe. I wanted a younger strong partner to protect me so I can feel safe.
It is ironic, at the age 45, I finally can see and let myself feel my fear. I now got hope for my RA sickness. I recalled I saw the affirmation "I am safe" for RA. But I ignored this. I tot I am safe and infact most people said I am fearless. From a young age, no one ever tot of protecting me. They said I am self-protected. And I never knew myself to be fearful. Yea, cos no one protects me, I tot I can only have my partner to protect me cos other people won't. No wonder I go for younger strong and tall guys. Yea; I self-protect. At first it is required but the last few years no longer necessary so it attack my cells instead. It went on auto-protect rampage.
First Letter
Most people shy away from the suggestion that they alone are responsible for their troubles. It is more difficult for some people to face up to their inadequacies than it is for those who have the inner strength and self-confidence to look at themselves fairly and squarely.
Sincere Prayer draws the "Father-Creative Consciousness" into the mind, quietly, secretly, it cleanses the human consciousness of all that the seeker no longer feels comfortable with. It is, of necessity, a very gradual process of inner cleansing and development.
Soul
Amen.
The First Letter
Ur emotional patterns can be as damaging to ur overall welfare as ur mindset.
Ur mindset together with ur emotional patterns are ur creative tools. Together they create the necessary outlines for future possessions, events and circumstances. They work in ur life whether u intend them or not.
Soul
Just finished the First Letter from Christ. His experiences and teaching is similar to Lord Shiva, Sadhguru and Osho. I don't see anything new. I guess this is to help Christian to open up. There is more receptiveness for them if the msg comes from Jesus Christ.
Yea, P said the letters are heavy. It may be to her but for me, it is light reading. But it helped me to see every path has the same experience, same outcome and I am on the right track. Amen.
Father, today walk in the park was different. Physically I was fine, feel fitter than last week.
I had tots about the First letter - talking about the movement of atoms in the matter. I wonder whether my eye sight becomes more sensitive, perhaps I can now see some 'very very minuscule" movement in nature that makes them looks so alive. It is always known that when there is absolute no movement, it is dense - it look lifeless.
I suddenly realise I am on the right track and I can see the movement of molecules in nature forms. I may not be looking for enlightenment but I look for well being and safety.
Suddenly it occur me there is a hidden fear in me. I don't feel safe, no wonder I am defensive internally. And that's why the immune system goes on overdrive and attack myself. And that's why I had defensive tot on the case of Sy in labour court eventhough logically I know I done the best I could. I have no guilt. It was just my auto-defense. I have lifted up the auto control and now left with auto defense.
With this insight, I just told myself "I am safe". At the same time I realised I felt rejection due to lack of beauty in me and hence at times I am envious of beauty. Perhaps that's why I am attracted to tall and handsome guys. All my past attractions has the same attributes. I told myself "I am beautiful"
As I was affirming to myself "I am beautiful and I am safe while I was walking the second round, in the middle of trees, I suddenly erupted into laughter. I just felt joy swell up. I think it must be the trees.
Father, I asked for motivation and you gave me. The First Letter shows that Christ has the same enlightenment as Lord Shiva, as Sadhguru and the others - Law of Existence; law of cause and effect; Law of creation and we are the Creator of our live and our world.
Every path found the same answer. I am on the path. I can already sense the energy of water and nature. I can already sense and see the movement, hence water and trees feels alive to me. The same with Linga Bhairavi pix, I laughed with her almost every night.
I got my motivation back. I am on the right path.
Today Card.
Intensity
Think of all the great words and great teachings as ur deadly enemy. Avoid them, because u have to find ur own source. U have not to be a follower. U have to be an original individual. U have to find ur own innermost core on ur own, with no guide, no guiding scriptures. It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry u r bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with an intense inquiry has found the sunrise. Others only believe. Those who believe are not religious, they are simply avoiding the great adventure of religion by believing.
This figure in this card has taken on the shape of arrow, moving with the single-pointed focus of one who knows precisely where is going. He is moving so fast that he has become alsmost pure energy. Now is the only moment and here is the only space.
When u act with the intensity of the Knight of Fire it is likely to create ripples in the waters around u. Some will feel uplifted and refreshed by ur presence, others may feel threatened or annoyed. But the opinions of others matter little; nothing can hold u back right now.
Soul
Father, thank U. Amen. And if Z is what I have chosen, I can choose again.
I am on track. I am back again.
For the first time I know I can be healed. Now I knew the root of RA is my hidden fear. I wasn't feeling safe. Even in my partner I wanted someone tall and strong and younger so he can protect me. With Z I felt protected physically but unsafe financially because of his financial situation. I also feel unsafe as he withhold his love and want to hide me from his world.
Amen I am safe now.
Eight of Heart
It is an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force" gathering in u, a force u can use to better ur life in many ways.
Soul
Yea. I can finally be healed. Deep down I was just a frightened gal.
Letter No. 1
Mindset is the sum total of all ur conscious and subsconscious programming. It is essential that u should understand that none of this human mindset has its origins in the spiritual dimension.
It is entirely earthly and probably filled with mythical ideas, prejudices, misconceptions, resentments, buried memories of past hurts, and habitual methods of dealing with the ups and downs of life. Ur human mindset (including any religious ideas and beliefs) determines ur world, ur relationships, experiences, successes, failures, happiness and misery. It is even responsible for ur sickness, disease and accidents.
Nothing happens by chance. Everything is woven out of the inner threads of ur personal consciousness - tots, expectations, beliefs in life, fate, "God". U live in a world of ur own making. That is why children raised in the same environment turn out differently. Each one has its own individual Mindset constructed according to inherent character traits.
Without a mindset, u have no life, no development, no evil, no good. Ur TYPE of mindset determines the quality of ur life.
Furthermore, for as long as u live u carry ur mindset with u wherever u go. There is no escaping it, and day after day, it will continue to create for u the type of existence u have experienced in ur past.
Many people go through their entire life believing they are unfortunate. They think that other people have been mean, unkind, ugly to them, and have made their lives thoroughly unhappy. They believe that "other people" quarrel with them and constantly make difficulties whilst they are absolutely innocent of any provocation. On the contrary, "other people" are not to blame. It is the personal mindset which is attracting to them their negative conditions.
Soul
I believe so.
I have always believed I have a good team of staff. And it really happens.
I have always believed people are generally good. And it happens.
I have always believed behind every Angry person is a loving person. And it happens. I can get along with Angry people.
I have always believed I am not lovable. And it happens.
I always believes life is meant for happiness. And it finally happens.
I have always believe sickness is caused by ourself. It took me a long while and finally I can see the fear in me. Finally I acknowledge I am afraid. I don't feel safe. That's why I needed money so I feel safe. But recent events makes me realised money does create safety and may cause feelings of being unsafe. I wanted a younger strong partner to protect me so I can feel safe.
It is ironic, at the age 45, I finally can see and let myself feel my fear. I now got hope for my RA sickness. I recalled I saw the affirmation "I am safe" for RA. But I ignored this. I tot I am safe and infact most people said I am fearless. From a young age, no one ever tot of protecting me. They said I am self-protected. And I never knew myself to be fearful. Yea, cos no one protects me, I tot I can only have my partner to protect me cos other people won't. No wonder I go for younger strong and tall guys. Yea; I self-protect. At first it is required but the last few years no longer necessary so it attack my cells instead. It went on auto-protect rampage.
First Letter
Most people shy away from the suggestion that they alone are responsible for their troubles. It is more difficult for some people to face up to their inadequacies than it is for those who have the inner strength and self-confidence to look at themselves fairly and squarely.
Sincere Prayer draws the "Father-Creative Consciousness" into the mind, quietly, secretly, it cleanses the human consciousness of all that the seeker no longer feels comfortable with. It is, of necessity, a very gradual process of inner cleansing and development.
Soul
Amen.
The First Letter
Ur emotional patterns can be as damaging to ur overall welfare as ur mindset.
Ur mindset together with ur emotional patterns are ur creative tools. Together they create the necessary outlines for future possessions, events and circumstances. They work in ur life whether u intend them or not.
Soul
Just finished the First Letter from Christ. His experiences and teaching is similar to Lord Shiva, Sadhguru and Osho. I don't see anything new. I guess this is to help Christian to open up. There is more receptiveness for them if the msg comes from Jesus Christ.
Yea, P said the letters are heavy. It may be to her but for me, it is light reading. But it helped me to see every path has the same experience, same outcome and I am on the right track. Amen.
Christ Returns - Speak His Truth
Oct 13
Christ Returns - Speak His Truth
Ur personal consciousness is entirely responsible for whatever comes into ur life and personal experience. It is ur personal consciousness which brings u good or evil.
In ur sub-conscious, u bring through strongly imprinted but hidden recollections of past traumas/emotions of past life/lives which can erupt and colour ur present consciousness.
Ur specific and impassioned prayer for alleviation of some kind, may be answered but it will avail u little in the long term if ur mind and heart continually operate in contravention of the Universal laws of love and u live in a mindset of constant criticism.
U cannot effect permanent changes in ur lives unless u change ur consciousness. Therefore people must pay and strive at all times to achieve unconditional Love.
Everything is done to u according to ur beliefs. Ur beliefs are ur habitual tots, response to people and events, prejudices, hates, animosities, anxieties, sorrows, all of which bind u down and shut out the Light from ur inner Creative Power.
All the problems of harsh existence lay within the tot processes of man himself. There is no way that man may escape what he thinks, says or does - for he is born of the Divine Creative Consciousness power and is likewise creative in his imagining.
Those who long for good themselves must first give it to others. Let their very existence to be a blessing to others. When such people are in harmony with all others, they are then perfect attuned to the universal creative consciousness power.
Soul
I asked for help and You answered.
Christ Returns - Speak His Truth
Ur personal consciousness is entirely responsible for whatever comes into ur life and personal experience. It is ur personal consciousness which brings u good or evil.
In ur sub-conscious, u bring through strongly imprinted but hidden recollections of past traumas/emotions of past life/lives which can erupt and colour ur present consciousness.
Ur specific and impassioned prayer for alleviation of some kind, may be answered but it will avail u little in the long term if ur mind and heart continually operate in contravention of the Universal laws of love and u live in a mindset of constant criticism.
U cannot effect permanent changes in ur lives unless u change ur consciousness. Therefore people must pay and strive at all times to achieve unconditional Love.
Everything is done to u according to ur beliefs. Ur beliefs are ur habitual tots, response to people and events, prejudices, hates, animosities, anxieties, sorrows, all of which bind u down and shut out the Light from ur inner Creative Power.
All the problems of harsh existence lay within the tot processes of man himself. There is no way that man may escape what he thinks, says or does - for he is born of the Divine Creative Consciousness power and is likewise creative in his imagining.
Those who long for good themselves must first give it to others. Let their very existence to be a blessing to others. When such people are in harmony with all others, they are then perfect attuned to the universal creative consciousness power.
Soul
I asked for help and You answered.
Outcome is not our business
Oct 12 Eve
Father, I miss him.
Just browse thru IEO lesson; below is Sadhguru's msg:
What is possible, what is not possible is not is ur business, that is nature's business. Your business is just to know what u care for in ur life.
Even if it doesn't happen, at least u r doing what u care for. U enjoy doing it. So if it doesn't happen, u continue to doing it again. - very good. If it happen, its good.
Soul
Yea, just do my writing. I now know its my outlet. I need to express and also for reflection.
On Z, I miss him and tot of contacting him a few times today. But I m not going to do so. I remember to do so only continue my karma in rship with partner that is unable to commit. I am ending this karma once and for all. It won't be too difficult.
Father, I miss him.
Just browse thru IEO lesson; below is Sadhguru's msg:
What is possible, what is not possible is not is ur business, that is nature's business. Your business is just to know what u care for in ur life.
Even if it doesn't happen, at least u r doing what u care for. U enjoy doing it. So if it doesn't happen, u continue to doing it again. - very good. If it happen, its good.
Soul
Yea, just do my writing. I now know its my outlet. I need to express and also for reflection.
On Z, I miss him and tot of contacting him a few times today. But I m not going to do so. I remember to do so only continue my karma in rship with partner that is unable to commit. I am ending this karma once and for all. It won't be too difficult.
Courage is a compulsory requirement for a religious person
Oct 12
Father, had a good sleep and woke up 5.20 am when alarm rang. Did my practices and is fine. But without the kapala bhakti, somehow there is remnants of stale breathe from previous day.
Tots of Sy came into pix, defenses came in. This time I asked why so much tots. What am I afraid of? Then I knew its because I want to protect my corporate face. We have done so many retrenchment without any issue, so why now happen to me? Then I knew I can lose it. I too feel bad on Sy, that's why I propose to pay the 50% hospitalisation. Either way a cut was inevitable, its either her or the FM.
Miss Z and wanted to share with him my peri-meno and also the office issues. And I got Osho card which indicates for me to forget the past and start afresh, jump in. Well, I don't want to listen. Limits is up. Let me decide and said NO to part timer. I want a committed rship. I noticed he just changed his profile pix with his own photo. I knew it is to remind me. I knew he miss me too. But let's not go back. What I want is committed rship and my partner with me during new year dinner. Not sure how this will happen. But I will that it happens.
Osho - Daya
I repeat the word courage again and again, because the divine is still unknown. It is an unknown wine.
The journey of sannyas is about being alone. Meditation is the process through which u become alone.
Courage is a compulsory requirement for a religious person. A violent person can become religious, an angry person can become religious, a sexual person can become religious but a coward can never become religious
Soul
Exactly what I tot. To be religious, to transform, needs energy. Only if u have it and not afraid to use it, u can transform.
Osho
If u don't give up cowardice, u cannot give up money, u cannot give up rships, u cannot give up anger. Take the first step by giving up cowardice. Then u have become strong, then u can give up anything.
Soul
I have given up money, and perhaps now I can give up unrequited love too, to give up Z.
Osho
Have a little courage, be daring, accept the challenge to enter into the unknown and unfamiliar a little and u will not be alone. The divine is with u. But before it can be truly with u, u must show courage to be alone. The divine is with those who are alone.
Soul
Amen.
Osho
What loss is there if one does not attain the divine?
So far what is there in ur life anyway? U go on living being pushed this way and that. U keep going because there is nothing else u can do. U keep on going till u die.
There are 2 basic desires: sexual desire and the desire for death. Sexual desire keeps pushing a person on. And somewhere far deeper, a hope remains that because life is utterly useless, death will come - if not today then tomorrow - and everything will be alright. Is there anything else in ur life except waiting for death?
Father, had a good sleep and woke up 5.20 am when alarm rang. Did my practices and is fine. But without the kapala bhakti, somehow there is remnants of stale breathe from previous day.
Tots of Sy came into pix, defenses came in. This time I asked why so much tots. What am I afraid of? Then I knew its because I want to protect my corporate face. We have done so many retrenchment without any issue, so why now happen to me? Then I knew I can lose it. I too feel bad on Sy, that's why I propose to pay the 50% hospitalisation. Either way a cut was inevitable, its either her or the FM.
Miss Z and wanted to share with him my peri-meno and also the office issues. And I got Osho card which indicates for me to forget the past and start afresh, jump in. Well, I don't want to listen. Limits is up. Let me decide and said NO to part timer. I want a committed rship. I noticed he just changed his profile pix with his own photo. I knew it is to remind me. I knew he miss me too. But let's not go back. What I want is committed rship and my partner with me during new year dinner. Not sure how this will happen. But I will that it happens.
Osho - Daya
I repeat the word courage again and again, because the divine is still unknown. It is an unknown wine.
The journey of sannyas is about being alone. Meditation is the process through which u become alone.
Courage is a compulsory requirement for a religious person. A violent person can become religious, an angry person can become religious, a sexual person can become religious but a coward can never become religious
Soul
Exactly what I tot. To be religious, to transform, needs energy. Only if u have it and not afraid to use it, u can transform.
Osho
If u don't give up cowardice, u cannot give up money, u cannot give up rships, u cannot give up anger. Take the first step by giving up cowardice. Then u have become strong, then u can give up anything.
Soul
I have given up money, and perhaps now I can give up unrequited love too, to give up Z.
Osho
Have a little courage, be daring, accept the challenge to enter into the unknown and unfamiliar a little and u will not be alone. The divine is with u. But before it can be truly with u, u must show courage to be alone. The divine is with those who are alone.
Soul
Amen.
Osho
What loss is there if one does not attain the divine?
So far what is there in ur life anyway? U go on living being pushed this way and that. U keep going because there is nothing else u can do. U keep on going till u die.
There are 2 basic desires: sexual desire and the desire for death. Sexual desire keeps pushing a person on. And somewhere far deeper, a hope remains that because life is utterly useless, death will come - if not today then tomorrow - and everything will be alright. Is there anything else in ur life except waiting for death?
Shoonya and samyama my saviour
Oct 11 Eve
Father, today not a good day. Had disturbing tots of S and checked my Mars cards of Three of Spades and Three of Clubs.
Later I did shoonya and samyama, I calmed down and recalled I m now different. This time I will show the positive. On S, who knows she gets another 2 months. I was surprised that I start to sing out loud and dance during samyama. This hasn't happen before at home. It only happen when I was in the Ashram doing Samyama and Samyama sadhana. Just when I tot I am down, I went in deeper. I am no longer afraid to be alone.
Mystic Musings
To be spiritual means to be an emperor within urself. Being totally self-sufficient. U no longer needed companions. U r no more a beggar within.
Father, today not a good day. Had disturbing tots of S and checked my Mars cards of Three of Spades and Three of Clubs.
Later I did shoonya and samyama, I calmed down and recalled I m now different. This time I will show the positive. On S, who knows she gets another 2 months. I was surprised that I start to sing out loud and dance during samyama. This hasn't happen before at home. It only happen when I was in the Ashram doing Samyama and Samyama sadhana. Just when I tot I am down, I went in deeper. I am no longer afraid to be alone.
Mystic Musings
To be spiritual means to be an emperor within urself. Being totally self-sufficient. U no longer needed companions. U r no more a beggar within.
Still feeling lazy to do Isha practices
Oct 11
I woke up at 4.25 am just before alarm. Body is fine but I was lazy. Didn't want to do hata. Just feel lazy.
Father, my menses finally came. I am truly on peri-menopause. I was at hospital having blood test done. I saw the sick old people. I am really glad I quit new company. I am contented to have time off on my own. Just chilling.
Not sure why. Keep on wanting to share with Z my peri-menopause. He is my best friend. We shared everything this last 2 years.
This morning I had a dream of a partner after Z. A young chinese guy. Not sure why.
Osho
If u dive in totally and go down to the rock-bottom of life, u will find nothing there. From there, u will return empty-handed in one sense, but in another sense ur hands will be full.
U will be empty-handed because u will have realised that there is nothing in life. Ur hands will be full in the sense u can search for the divine - carefree, devoid of all doubt.
There remains no obstacle now in ur search for the divine. No new alternatives will arise before u. The crows of ur tots and desire will not caw at u. Now u can walk on. Now the stream of ur life can become one and fall into the ocean of the divine.
Soul
I walked all the way on the corporate world. I can now semi-retire without regrets. There is nothing there for me except a means of financial security.
I woke up at 4.25 am just before alarm. Body is fine but I was lazy. Didn't want to do hata. Just feel lazy.
Father, my menses finally came. I am truly on peri-menopause. I was at hospital having blood test done. I saw the sick old people. I am really glad I quit new company. I am contented to have time off on my own. Just chilling.
Not sure why. Keep on wanting to share with Z my peri-menopause. He is my best friend. We shared everything this last 2 years.
This morning I had a dream of a partner after Z. A young chinese guy. Not sure why.
Osho
If u dive in totally and go down to the rock-bottom of life, u will find nothing there. From there, u will return empty-handed in one sense, but in another sense ur hands will be full.
U will be empty-handed because u will have realised that there is nothing in life. Ur hands will be full in the sense u can search for the divine - carefree, devoid of all doubt.
There remains no obstacle now in ur search for the divine. No new alternatives will arise before u. The crows of ur tots and desire will not caw at u. Now u can walk on. Now the stream of ur life can become one and fall into the ocean of the divine.
Soul
I walked all the way on the corporate world. I can now semi-retire without regrets. There is nothing there for me except a means of financial security.
Shoonya is my saviour
Oct 10 Eve
Finally menses came today after a delay of 2 months . Just started and I m not sure of the flow.
I missed Z. I love him but let's not go there. I want a real partner, not someone who is unable to commit. We discussed to death and it has been 2 years. Let me accept the separation. Just go with the flow.
Just did shoonya. At first bit of tears came and then it was loads of laughter. A flash of Z leaving me to go to party came. Yeah, everytime I miss him and had tots of going back, I just need to remember why I left him.
Mystic's Musings
If u can run ur life without the offer of heaven, u r on the path; but if by taking the offer and by cutting a deal u can still run in the right direction, go ahead and do it. If such a situation comes in ur life, if such a level of maturity comes to u that u don't need any deals and u can still do it, it is good.
If u have grown out of this limitation that something has to be offered for u to do something, then u have a different kind of strength.
When u hope for something, when u r looking forward to something happening, the fear or frustration is waiting just behind. Another way of looking at hope is an expectation. If a person has no hope, he is truly blessed, because that person has no fear of failure.
Soul
Tot of my website. Now I am doing it becos I know I need the outlet. I no longer look towards the outcome. The website is a tool for my own sanity.
Finally menses came today after a delay of 2 months . Just started and I m not sure of the flow.
I missed Z. I love him but let's not go there. I want a real partner, not someone who is unable to commit. We discussed to death and it has been 2 years. Let me accept the separation. Just go with the flow.
Just did shoonya. At first bit of tears came and then it was loads of laughter. A flash of Z leaving me to go to party came. Yeah, everytime I miss him and had tots of going back, I just need to remember why I left him.
Mystic's Musings
If u can run ur life without the offer of heaven, u r on the path; but if by taking the offer and by cutting a deal u can still run in the right direction, go ahead and do it. If such a situation comes in ur life, if such a level of maturity comes to u that u don't need any deals and u can still do it, it is good.
If u have grown out of this limitation that something has to be offered for u to do something, then u have a different kind of strength.
When u hope for something, when u r looking forward to something happening, the fear or frustration is waiting just behind. Another way of looking at hope is an expectation. If a person has no hope, he is truly blessed, because that person has no fear of failure.
Soul
Tot of my website. Now I am doing it becos I know I need the outlet. I no longer look towards the outcome. The website is a tool for my own sanity.
Laughing during hata yoga
Oct 10
Father, woke up from a dream when the alarm rang at 6.30 am. I was still debating whether to sleep or not. But then I said let's make it 3 times a week. I did my asanas. The standing asanas not so good. These days the knees felt stretched whenever I want to bend. The rest of asanas were fine and I was laughing throughout the lying postures. I wonder why the resistance when my body loves doing asanas. Even the plough back was fine.
Shakti was good and I am able to do slow kapala bhakti. I was able to do whole shakti with only 2 resting period.
Shambavi was great. Every postures is joyful. I now want to do enhance my cat stretch so my head can touch my knee. It would be nearly impossible now for my head to touch knee during standing asanas. At least can start with cat stretch.
Little tots today except for the part of fear on the brazenness of the robbers. Also tot somehow the world drives them to their path. Our country's wealth is unfairly divided.
Updating abridged book on Swami Rama (Bal Bhagawan) and read this:
When the mind no longer recalls thought-patterns from the unconscious, a balanced state of mind leads to a higher state of consciousness.
Swami Rama
U should allow ur good tots to be expressed through ur actions. But many times ur good tots are not fully expressed and in this way u constantly damage and kill that sensitive part of u which would help bring about ur own enlightenment and growth. Don't kill ur consciousness. Keep it clear by listening to it.
Soul
2 things I followed. First is on C and second on Z.
Father, woke up from a dream when the alarm rang at 6.30 am. I was still debating whether to sleep or not. But then I said let's make it 3 times a week. I did my asanas. The standing asanas not so good. These days the knees felt stretched whenever I want to bend. The rest of asanas were fine and I was laughing throughout the lying postures. I wonder why the resistance when my body loves doing asanas. Even the plough back was fine.
Shakti was good and I am able to do slow kapala bhakti. I was able to do whole shakti with only 2 resting period.
Shambavi was great. Every postures is joyful. I now want to do enhance my cat stretch so my head can touch my knee. It would be nearly impossible now for my head to touch knee during standing asanas. At least can start with cat stretch.
Little tots today except for the part of fear on the brazenness of the robbers. Also tot somehow the world drives them to their path. Our country's wealth is unfairly divided.
Updating abridged book on Swami Rama (Bal Bhagawan) and read this:
When the mind no longer recalls thought-patterns from the unconscious, a balanced state of mind leads to a higher state of consciousness.
Swami Rama
U should allow ur good tots to be expressed through ur actions. But many times ur good tots are not fully expressed and in this way u constantly damage and kill that sensitive part of u which would help bring about ur own enlightenment and growth. Don't kill ur consciousness. Keep it clear by listening to it.
Soul
2 things I followed. First is on C and second on Z.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Laughing Samyama
Oct 9 Eve
Father, I didn't do hata this morning. But I did my other practices. Had lunch with ex-boss. She is good and she told me she had pre-menopause and final one at age 45. She said doctor told her it was due to stress and hence ovary shut down. She said she got massive hormone problem and had an emotional melt down.
I tot of myself. I was definitely very stressed for the past 8 months and body shut down also. But on the melt down, I know it won't happen. Cos my body is already pleasant and I have my hata and meditation to see me through.
I finished long lunch at 3.30pm and adjourned to cafe to do my writing. I needed the outlet. I did it for 3 hours non-stop and reach home around 7 pm. I just continued with compilation of my abridged books that I read.
I showered, did my shoonya and proceed to samyama. It was so lovely, I was happy and I laughed loads. I cannot remember the last time since l laughed so much. These last 2 days I have been contented. There were little tots and a sense of calmness enveloped me. Its like the wheel of my mind has stopped running on full speed and is now resting.
Today I suddenly rec a msg from Z. He received a double msg from last Sunday. I miss him. I guess he tot I go back to him. Well, I am not going back.
As I was doing samyama, a tot came. Collect fee from the authors, from amazon.com. For the user, its free except for the purchase of my books. Once I got the 5000 hits, I would get the income from the authors and also book website. For now, I just focus on what I can do.
Amen.
Mystic's Musings
Awareness means that u r becoming aware of dimensions which aren't in ur normal experience of life. Initially, when this awareness comes, ur system doesn't know how to handle it; ur body doesn't know how to handle it. Ur body will go crazy, ur mind will go crazy. Ur mind doesn't know how to handle it because awareness comes with furious energy, or because of furious energy, awareness comes. So, these two things can't be separated. Higher dimension of awareness mean higher dimension of energy.
Soul
Mmm, not sure why energy so high today. I knew my contentment is more but not sure.
Mystic's Musings
The only thing u can do is to stop attaching importance to ur own ways of thinking and feeling, ur tot patterns, ur emotions, and ur opinions. Don't attach any importance to them. Then ur limitations will become weaker and weaker and one day collapse.
Soul
Easier said than done. Recently I am not so enthu on hata. I am unwilling to wake up. I am not sure tomorrow I can also. I have put alarm at 6.30 am. I will let body be the judge.
Mystic's Musings
Having access to the possibility is only because of the longing that one may have. There are many people who have close access to the person, but don't know anything about the possibility yet. Knowing the person is of no great significance. U need sensitivity, to be life sensitive, not ego sensitive.
Soul
I m definitely not ego and environment sensitive. I am absent minded and blur in the outer world and people. In the inner world, I thrive. Perhaps that's why I have access to the possibility.
Mystic's Musings
Janaka's way of being was such that, though he was an Enlightened being and a king as well, a rare combination, sitting at his Master's feet was the highest Grace in his life. He was always aspiring for this opportunity and still sat there, which most people would not do.
Soul
I cried when I read this. For me being able to participate is the greatest blessing I got. That's why I don't want to be a Sathsang Guide.
Mystic's Musings
The relationship between Master-disciple is always energy based. It is not emotion-based nor mind-based, nor is it body-based. For the energy there is no rebirth. It is only the body which is reborn. The energy just continues as one flow and accordingly carries the rship.
Soul
That's my rship with Sadhguru. I tend to laugh whenever I encounter his presence. And when I finally met Sadhguru face to face, to my surprise he too laughed when he saw me. Guess our energies recognised each others.
Nowadays, I laughed whenever my eyes connect with Linga Bhairavi pix on my bed-table. We laughed nearly every night. No reason, it just the explosion of laughter.
Mystic's Musings
Awareness is a far deeper dimension than just mental alertness. When awareness arises within u, love and compassion will be the natural follow-up.
Soul
Not sure. But for the first time I acted out on kindness to C and definitely to Z.
Mystic Musings
Without a price, u get nothing. U better know this. Whether u pay the price here or there, u can't escape it, u will always pay. That's the law of karma. There is a price for everything.
What kind of physical situations u land up in have a very strong karmic basis. The very fact that u r here today proves that ur physical situation has been conducive enough to allow u to be here. There are many who desire to be here, but for many reasons it has not happened for them. They are yet to earn it.
Soul
That's my tag line. There is a price for everything.
No wonder C said it is always a blessing to be in Ashram. And the fact I can be there in a space of 4 months means I am truly blessed. Now I know what she meant.
(Ocr 14 - let me appreciate the fact that I am lucky to have met Sadhguru and the ability to go to ashram whenever I want to. No issue with money or time or family.)
Father, I didn't do hata this morning. But I did my other practices. Had lunch with ex-boss. She is good and she told me she had pre-menopause and final one at age 45. She said doctor told her it was due to stress and hence ovary shut down. She said she got massive hormone problem and had an emotional melt down.
I tot of myself. I was definitely very stressed for the past 8 months and body shut down also. But on the melt down, I know it won't happen. Cos my body is already pleasant and I have my hata and meditation to see me through.
I finished long lunch at 3.30pm and adjourned to cafe to do my writing. I needed the outlet. I did it for 3 hours non-stop and reach home around 7 pm. I just continued with compilation of my abridged books that I read.
I showered, did my shoonya and proceed to samyama. It was so lovely, I was happy and I laughed loads. I cannot remember the last time since l laughed so much. These last 2 days I have been contented. There were little tots and a sense of calmness enveloped me. Its like the wheel of my mind has stopped running on full speed and is now resting.
Today I suddenly rec a msg from Z. He received a double msg from last Sunday. I miss him. I guess he tot I go back to him. Well, I am not going back.
As I was doing samyama, a tot came. Collect fee from the authors, from amazon.com. For the user, its free except for the purchase of my books. Once I got the 5000 hits, I would get the income from the authors and also book website. For now, I just focus on what I can do.
Amen.
Mystic's Musings
Awareness means that u r becoming aware of dimensions which aren't in ur normal experience of life. Initially, when this awareness comes, ur system doesn't know how to handle it; ur body doesn't know how to handle it. Ur body will go crazy, ur mind will go crazy. Ur mind doesn't know how to handle it because awareness comes with furious energy, or because of furious energy, awareness comes. So, these two things can't be separated. Higher dimension of awareness mean higher dimension of energy.
Soul
Mmm, not sure why energy so high today. I knew my contentment is more but not sure.
Mystic's Musings
The only thing u can do is to stop attaching importance to ur own ways of thinking and feeling, ur tot patterns, ur emotions, and ur opinions. Don't attach any importance to them. Then ur limitations will become weaker and weaker and one day collapse.
Soul
Easier said than done. Recently I am not so enthu on hata. I am unwilling to wake up. I am not sure tomorrow I can also. I have put alarm at 6.30 am. I will let body be the judge.
Mystic's Musings
Having access to the possibility is only because of the longing that one may have. There are many people who have close access to the person, but don't know anything about the possibility yet. Knowing the person is of no great significance. U need sensitivity, to be life sensitive, not ego sensitive.
Soul
I m definitely not ego and environment sensitive. I am absent minded and blur in the outer world and people. In the inner world, I thrive. Perhaps that's why I have access to the possibility.
Mystic's Musings
Janaka's way of being was such that, though he was an Enlightened being and a king as well, a rare combination, sitting at his Master's feet was the highest Grace in his life. He was always aspiring for this opportunity and still sat there, which most people would not do.
Soul
I cried when I read this. For me being able to participate is the greatest blessing I got. That's why I don't want to be a Sathsang Guide.
Mystic's Musings
The relationship between Master-disciple is always energy based. It is not emotion-based nor mind-based, nor is it body-based. For the energy there is no rebirth. It is only the body which is reborn. The energy just continues as one flow and accordingly carries the rship.
Soul
That's my rship with Sadhguru. I tend to laugh whenever I encounter his presence. And when I finally met Sadhguru face to face, to my surprise he too laughed when he saw me. Guess our energies recognised each others.
Nowadays, I laughed whenever my eyes connect with Linga Bhairavi pix on my bed-table. We laughed nearly every night. No reason, it just the explosion of laughter.
Mystic's Musings
Awareness is a far deeper dimension than just mental alertness. When awareness arises within u, love and compassion will be the natural follow-up.
Soul
Not sure. But for the first time I acted out on kindness to C and definitely to Z.
Mystic Musings
Without a price, u get nothing. U better know this. Whether u pay the price here or there, u can't escape it, u will always pay. That's the law of karma. There is a price for everything.
What kind of physical situations u land up in have a very strong karmic basis. The very fact that u r here today proves that ur physical situation has been conducive enough to allow u to be here. There are many who desire to be here, but for many reasons it has not happened for them. They are yet to earn it.
Soul
That's my tag line. There is a price for everything.
No wonder C said it is always a blessing to be in Ashram. And the fact I can be there in a space of 4 months means I am truly blessed. Now I know what she meant.
(Ocr 14 - let me appreciate the fact that I am lucky to have met Sadhguru and the ability to go to ashram whenever I want to. No issue with money or time or family.)
Mystic Musing - Sadhguru
Oct 8 Eve
Mystic Musing - Sadhguru
There are many Enlightened beings, but u will never know who they or where they are, because they never declare it. They have no need to do that. Only when a person has to do a certain type of work, he goes through the shameful process of declaring his Enlightenment, because people can't see it. He has to declare it and by doing so, many people will question and probe it. Many people will say it is false. It is quite a shameful thing to declare "I am Enlightened".
Soul
When I read this, I tot of myself. I may not be Enlightened but I am Realised. I have found my inner joy and it ripples through my body.
Self realised require self contemplation and it would require me to declare my contemplation. Part of me feel fearful of being judged, being probed, being shamed. Part of me just want to continue with my contentment. But there is a part that wish for others to experience contentment too. It is not easy journey but it is reachable.
Today is a quiet day for my mind. Very little tots; just quietness and an ease sets in me.
Mystic Musing
To earn the trust u need time, energy, effort; so many things are involved. Otherwise, trust doesn't come.
That's why I said being a yogi is wonderful, fantastic, but being a Guru is frustrating.
Soul
I am not a Guru but I know I am a messenger. Part of me just want to enjoy myself; savour myself. Such dilemma. To offer myself to perjury. That's suffering. To save other but put myself up for jeopardy.
I am thinking of the price to pay again. Father, please help me to break-thru this year. Two years ago I can't but now I want to.
Suddenly tot of MD. She let go of a big naggy baby in ex-CEO and now got herself a small naggy baby. Actually if she asked me on adoption, I would asked her not to as she has not clear her karma and is repeating it still. With the ex-boss, she can say it the ex-boss but with her baby, she can't. With her ex-boss, she can say she was forced to but with her baby, she was the one that picked her.
Father, let's do away with karmas.
Mystic Musing - Sadhguru
There are many Enlightened beings, but u will never know who they or where they are, because they never declare it. They have no need to do that. Only when a person has to do a certain type of work, he goes through the shameful process of declaring his Enlightenment, because people can't see it. He has to declare it and by doing so, many people will question and probe it. Many people will say it is false. It is quite a shameful thing to declare "I am Enlightened".
Soul
When I read this, I tot of myself. I may not be Enlightened but I am Realised. I have found my inner joy and it ripples through my body.
Self realised require self contemplation and it would require me to declare my contemplation. Part of me feel fearful of being judged, being probed, being shamed. Part of me just want to continue with my contentment. But there is a part that wish for others to experience contentment too. It is not easy journey but it is reachable.
Today is a quiet day for my mind. Very little tots; just quietness and an ease sets in me.
Mystic Musing
To earn the trust u need time, energy, effort; so many things are involved. Otherwise, trust doesn't come.
That's why I said being a yogi is wonderful, fantastic, but being a Guru is frustrating.
Soul
I am not a Guru but I know I am a messenger. Part of me just want to enjoy myself; savour myself. Such dilemma. To offer myself to perjury. That's suffering. To save other but put myself up for jeopardy.
I am thinking of the price to pay again. Father, please help me to break-thru this year. Two years ago I can't but now I want to.
Suddenly tot of MD. She let go of a big naggy baby in ex-CEO and now got herself a small naggy baby. Actually if she asked me on adoption, I would asked her not to as she has not clear her karma and is repeating it still. With the ex-boss, she can say it the ex-boss but with her baby, she can't. With her ex-boss, she can say she was forced to but with her baby, she was the one that picked her.
Father, let's do away with karmas.
Energy is back
Oct 8
Father, I was not confident yday night that I will wake up today for suria. So I put 5 am and was fine with 3 cycles of surias. I woke up refreshed at 4 am and I hold a bit. Then I knew there is no reason not to wake up as my body is wide awake. I woke up at 4.22 am to do my practices.
I forgot to do cat stretch and start with suria. The first 2 cycles were quite stiff. But I managed to touch my feet. I got a goal now, to touch my forehead to my knee. Then it went ok and for the first time in 1 year, my feet came back together during rest. Looks like the subtle body works.
I am able to do shakti with more focus. I am able to feel the sensation of each mudra. I am able to sit longer interval before resting my feet. Now that I knew the posture is centering my mind, I did it for myself.
I also realised there were little tots running throughout the practices. The wheel of mind has slowed down. I was amazed almost no tots of Z. I guess it finally settled down. I accept that I can't go back and he can't come out.
I am also glad I finally got back to Mystic Musing - this is a real period of refresher after 4 years.
It has been more than a few months since I wake up feeling refresh and ready for my practices. I am glad energy is back. Or perhaps it was the fact that I finally send the msg to Z and he responded. We finally ended on a good note.
Osho
Until we meet that beloved of our soul, we will remain distressed, in pain; searching and pining for something. Sometimes u will find a face which just for a moment seems to resembles the one u r seeking and u call that love. In dim light, in the darkness, u felt there was a resemblance, but there never really was.
It is only through losing out in love again and again that a person enters into devotion one day.
Soul
Tot of my Internal Influence card.
Abundance - if u r a woman, the King of Rainbows brings the support of ur own male energies into ur life, a union with the soul mate within.
Could be true as yday after I msg Z, I was almost nonchalant about his response. It no longer matter to me. This is a first time for me. What matters was I want him to know I didn't cut him off in anger.
Osho
Love and devotion are connected, it is the same energy; when it goes down it becomes loves, when it goes up it becomes devotion.
There is a kind of fever in the burning of love and there is a kind of coolness in the burning of devotion - a cool fire. In the burning of love, there is only burning: as though someone is sprinkling acid on a wound. In the burning of devotion, yes, the burning is there - the pain, the writhing of separation - but it is very cool, very calming.
Soul
Finally I understood. I always skip the devotion as I tot it is losing myself, create suffering. It is unfair to me. But now that I have taste a glimpse, I realised devotion is actually "good" and not suffering.
I guess that the same for my practices too. I loved it but I wasn't devoted to it. I loved it up till the benefits is coming. I didn't love it for its own. Whatever I do is for myself. It may be appreciated or not by the other but it definitely benefits me.
Osho - Daya
O my heart, my emotional heart
I am calling him
But let something happen to him
So he cannot help but come
I invite him but of what use is that?
But let something happen to him
So he cannot help but come.
Only when the fire burns on both sides will something happens.
Soul
Tot that was my calling to Z. But I finally concluded he cannot come cos I don't fit his dream. He may desires me but his dream is a traditional marriage with children and I don't want and cannot have children anymore. He also valued materials wealth and spend beyond his means and I don't. So, fire not burning at both ends.
Osho
Daya
I will continue to call u. But let something happen to u too so that u cannot help coming to me, so that u have to come to me.
Devotion is surrender
Devotion is the total letting go of oneself.
Soul
I accepted he cannot come to me. But still I prayed for him daily and I send my love. Finally I knew it is no loss to me.
Osho
The man of knowledge renounces the world; a devotee renounces himself. The man on the path of knowledge let's go of other things; a devotee let's go of his ego.
Soul
No wonder P said I am egoless when it comes to Z.
Father, I was not confident yday night that I will wake up today for suria. So I put 5 am and was fine with 3 cycles of surias. I woke up refreshed at 4 am and I hold a bit. Then I knew there is no reason not to wake up as my body is wide awake. I woke up at 4.22 am to do my practices.
I forgot to do cat stretch and start with suria. The first 2 cycles were quite stiff. But I managed to touch my feet. I got a goal now, to touch my forehead to my knee. Then it went ok and for the first time in 1 year, my feet came back together during rest. Looks like the subtle body works.
I am able to do shakti with more focus. I am able to feel the sensation of each mudra. I am able to sit longer interval before resting my feet. Now that I knew the posture is centering my mind, I did it for myself.
I also realised there were little tots running throughout the practices. The wheel of mind has slowed down. I was amazed almost no tots of Z. I guess it finally settled down. I accept that I can't go back and he can't come out.
I am also glad I finally got back to Mystic Musing - this is a real period of refresher after 4 years.
It has been more than a few months since I wake up feeling refresh and ready for my practices. I am glad energy is back. Or perhaps it was the fact that I finally send the msg to Z and he responded. We finally ended on a good note.
Osho
Until we meet that beloved of our soul, we will remain distressed, in pain; searching and pining for something. Sometimes u will find a face which just for a moment seems to resembles the one u r seeking and u call that love. In dim light, in the darkness, u felt there was a resemblance, but there never really was.
It is only through losing out in love again and again that a person enters into devotion one day.
Soul
Tot of my Internal Influence card.
Abundance - if u r a woman, the King of Rainbows brings the support of ur own male energies into ur life, a union with the soul mate within.
Could be true as yday after I msg Z, I was almost nonchalant about his response. It no longer matter to me. This is a first time for me. What matters was I want him to know I didn't cut him off in anger.
Osho
Love and devotion are connected, it is the same energy; when it goes down it becomes loves, when it goes up it becomes devotion.
There is a kind of fever in the burning of love and there is a kind of coolness in the burning of devotion - a cool fire. In the burning of love, there is only burning: as though someone is sprinkling acid on a wound. In the burning of devotion, yes, the burning is there - the pain, the writhing of separation - but it is very cool, very calming.
Soul
Finally I understood. I always skip the devotion as I tot it is losing myself, create suffering. It is unfair to me. But now that I have taste a glimpse, I realised devotion is actually "good" and not suffering.
I guess that the same for my practices too. I loved it but I wasn't devoted to it. I loved it up till the benefits is coming. I didn't love it for its own. Whatever I do is for myself. It may be appreciated or not by the other but it definitely benefits me.
Osho - Daya
O my heart, my emotional heart
I am calling him
But let something happen to him
So he cannot help but come
I invite him but of what use is that?
But let something happen to him
So he cannot help but come.
Only when the fire burns on both sides will something happens.
Soul
Tot that was my calling to Z. But I finally concluded he cannot come cos I don't fit his dream. He may desires me but his dream is a traditional marriage with children and I don't want and cannot have children anymore. He also valued materials wealth and spend beyond his means and I don't. So, fire not burning at both ends.
Osho
Daya
I will continue to call u. But let something happen to u too so that u cannot help coming to me, so that u have to come to me.
Devotion is surrender
Devotion is the total letting go of oneself.
Soul
I accepted he cannot come to me. But still I prayed for him daily and I send my love. Finally I knew it is no loss to me.
Osho
The man of knowledge renounces the world; a devotee renounces himself. The man on the path of knowledge let's go of other things; a devotee let's go of his ego.
Soul
No wonder P said I am egoless when it comes to Z.
My energy is more malleable - thats why Isha Kriya affects me
Oct 7 Eve
I was surprised at myself. There were no expectation on Z. There were no anxiousness at all. I recalled the last time I was feeling nervous. This time, I was fine. He did send me a request on BB and I accepted it.
Mystic Musing - Sadhguru
For someone whose energy is very fluid, the very first day of the simplest yoga kriya and the energy will start moving and transforming, whereas for another person, even after practicising it for a long time, nothing seems to happen. This simply depends on how malleable the energies are. The rigidity of all these dimensions, mind, body, emotion and energy isn't really separate, they are all interconnected. The rigidity in one dimension manifests itself into the others.
Soul
Guess my energies were more malleable than others. But recently not so. I am still feeling lazy.
Mystic Musing
Ur mind will be settled if u do this sadhana. It needs diligence. Otherwise, it's not going to happen. With every moment and with every breath, just see. If u have the diligence to see, this sadhana is enough for u. It will clear up ur mind totally.
Soul
Guess I didn't really see.
Mystic Musing
U have kept ur energies suppressed to such an extent the mind has become so oppressive that it suppresses life to the point where nothing moves except what's need to support the ego. Ur energies are moving only to the extent that is convenient for ur ego; a little more energy and the ego will burst.
The moment energy rises within u, everything is dissolved. The ego knows it very well. That's why it has kept it suppressed. If u don't have energy, then again the ego will become very weak. So the ego doesn't like that. It will just allows the amount of energy which supports and feeds it well. If the energy becomes too much, the ego will be shattered.
If kundalini begins to rise, everything will be shattered and nothing will be left. U will be just be a force merging with everything around u. U won't have a will of ur own anymore. Since u r not willing to surrender ur will, we r prodding u through this sadhana to provoke ur energies. That's why the path of asana and kriya.
Ur sadhana isn't about getting somewhere. It is just a way, a method to unleash a flood so enormous that it wipes away ur petty creations and leaves u as the Creator intended u to be.
Soul
I tot it was getting somewhere. It is not. It is about clearing. No wonder I had coined it inner shower since day one. But diligence will lead to it being an inner flood.
I was surprised at myself. There were no expectation on Z. There were no anxiousness at all. I recalled the last time I was feeling nervous. This time, I was fine. He did send me a request on BB and I accepted it.
Mystic Musing - Sadhguru
For someone whose energy is very fluid, the very first day of the simplest yoga kriya and the energy will start moving and transforming, whereas for another person, even after practicising it for a long time, nothing seems to happen. This simply depends on how malleable the energies are. The rigidity of all these dimensions, mind, body, emotion and energy isn't really separate, they are all interconnected. The rigidity in one dimension manifests itself into the others.
Soul
Guess my energies were more malleable than others. But recently not so. I am still feeling lazy.
Mystic Musing
Ur mind will be settled if u do this sadhana. It needs diligence. Otherwise, it's not going to happen. With every moment and with every breath, just see. If u have the diligence to see, this sadhana is enough for u. It will clear up ur mind totally.
Soul
Guess I didn't really see.
Mystic Musing
U have kept ur energies suppressed to such an extent the mind has become so oppressive that it suppresses life to the point where nothing moves except what's need to support the ego. Ur energies are moving only to the extent that is convenient for ur ego; a little more energy and the ego will burst.
The moment energy rises within u, everything is dissolved. The ego knows it very well. That's why it has kept it suppressed. If u don't have energy, then again the ego will become very weak. So the ego doesn't like that. It will just allows the amount of energy which supports and feeds it well. If the energy becomes too much, the ego will be shattered.
If kundalini begins to rise, everything will be shattered and nothing will be left. U will be just be a force merging with everything around u. U won't have a will of ur own anymore. Since u r not willing to surrender ur will, we r prodding u through this sadhana to provoke ur energies. That's why the path of asana and kriya.
Ur sadhana isn't about getting somewhere. It is just a way, a method to unleash a flood so enormous that it wipes away ur petty creations and leaves u as the Creator intended u to be.
Soul
I tot it was getting somewhere. It is not. It is about clearing. No wonder I had coined it inner shower since day one. But diligence will lead to it being an inner flood.
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