With the ego, Life is an endless chase for personal satisfaction..More, More and More..of the same thing..

Oct 23

Father, light bulb tripped when I woke up and the whole house black out. So, I slept back and tot of alarm at 6 am. But when it rang, house still dark and so I slept back and woke up at 7.15 am.

When I drive, I try to do samyama. Mind is ok. Just have stale breathe from last night.

Sixth Letter
Ur highest spiritual goal is to come to that spiritually exalted moment when u finally realise that ur human mind and its desires are only finite - and therefore, can never bring u the happiness and fulfillment u will experience when u lay down ur selfhood and come to divine consciousness asking ONLY for the Higher Way, more Abundant life and the true Spiritual PURPOSE which u Alone can accomplish in ur earthly state.

Soul
Suddenly I tot of sharing with Z, the power of Linga Bhairavi. M has said its power and his wishes comes thru. Anyway, I just msg him. He follow his dreams and I followed mine. He hasn't reached his peak and he will never be satisfied. Just like if I didn't go to new company, I won't be so sure that career is not what I want.


For me, I don't have wish, Linga is like an old friend or older sister, someone whom I clique and laugh together every night.

Father, why I don't have 'wants', why no bonding impulse, why don't want to do window shopping, why don't ask for things?

Father, I recalled mom said I cried loads when I was a child. So, she just left me to cry till I am tired and then sleep on my own.
And when I am sick, I just want to sleep and was not whining, I don't seek attention.

Which is surprising cos now as an adult, I seldom cry. I am seldom sad.

Sixth Letter
The nature and quality of Universal Consciousness is Radiant Joy - Fulfillment - Happiness
This is what I termed the "Kingdom of Heaven within u" - within ur soul - within the deepest recesses of ur psyche, which is the intermediary between the radiance of ur soul and the shadow of self of ego.

To return to this transcendent state of glorious, beautiful, happy, harmonious being is ur soul's deepest longing!
It is this enduring longing, this inborn unconscious recollection of equilibrium and peace, joy and harmony, which, through the psyche, prompts the ego to manipulate the environment on ur behalf. Its consistent purpose is to bring u back to ur primal original state of glorious ecstasy out of which u drew ur soul, being and form.
But the ego can bring about ur desired joy and pleasure, only by means of the two magnetic/emotional "Bonding-Rejection" impulses - which are only materialised impulses to give u ur individuality.

Therefore, the longing to rejoin the Source of Being is experienced in the electromagnetic parameters of tots and feeling as 'More, more, more' of what give u a pleasurable feeling, previously. More friends, more house, car, clothes, etc. Each time the 'more' has been achieved, there is a little glow of satisfaction, perhaps a showing off to the neighbours to heighten the happiness, (gaining one up on them, and another little glow), and then the novelty dies away, the new possession becomes mundane, the senses are again at rest - in equilibrium - mental tiredness sets in, routine becomes dull and boring.

To generate some life, the ego finds another goal to be achieved to provide excitement and pleasure.
Thus, life is an endless chase for personal satisfaction of various kinds leaving the hidden soul, starved, unsatisfied, still longing for something 'More' - but what is it my deepest self is craving? U ask in desperation.

When a person reaches an understanding of the true source of emptiness and continual inner craving for 'more of what made me feel good before' and begins to meditate to make contact 'That' Which Brought Him/Her into Being, a little of the Divine Equilibrium filters through the human consciousness. The emptiness begins to recede.

Soul
That's what Sadhguru said. That's what I feel, life is a vicious circle if we are not aware.

I cried when I drove out after reading Sixth Letter. I am so thankful that I have been connected to the Source. So thankful to Sadhguru for giving me the possibility.