Guidance came

Oct 14

Father, today walk in the park was different. Physically I was fine, feel fitter than last week.

I had tots about the First letter - talking about the movement of atoms in the matter. I wonder whether my eye sight becomes more sensitive, perhaps I can now see some 'very very minuscule" movement in nature that makes them looks so alive. It is always known that when there is absolute no movement, it is dense - it look lifeless.

I suddenly realise I am on the right track and I can see the movement of molecules in nature forms. I may not be looking for enlightenment but I look for well being and safety.

Suddenly it occur me there is a hidden fear in me. I don't feel safe, no wonder I am defensive internally. And that's why the immune system goes on overdrive and attack myself. And that's why I had defensive tot on the case of Sy in labour court eventhough logically I know I done the best I could. I have no guilt. It was just my auto-defense. I have lifted up the auto control and now left with auto defense.

With this insight, I just told myself "I am safe". At the same time I realised I felt rejection due to lack of beauty in me and hence at times I am envious of beauty. Perhaps that's why I am attracted to tall and handsome guys. All my past attractions has the same attributes. I told myself "I am beautiful"

As I was affirming to myself "I am beautiful and I am safe while I was walking the second round, in the middle of trees, I suddenly erupted into laughter. I just felt joy swell up. I think it must be the trees.

Father, I asked for motivation and you gave me. The First Letter shows that Christ has the same enlightenment as Lord Shiva, as Sadhguru and the others - Law of Existence; law of cause and effect; Law of creation and we are the Creator of our live and our world.

Every path found the same answer. I am on the path. I can already sense the energy of water and nature. I can already sense and see the movement, hence water and trees feels alive to me. The same with Linga Bhairavi pix, I laughed with her almost every night.

I got my motivation back. I am on the right path.

Today Card.
Intensity
Think of all the great words and great teachings as ur deadly enemy. Avoid them, because u have to find ur own source. U have not to be a follower. U have to be an original individual. U have to find ur own innermost core on ur own, with no guide, no guiding scriptures. It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry u r bound to come to the sunrise.

Everybody who has burned with an intense inquiry has found the sunrise. Others only believe. Those who believe are not religious, they are simply avoiding the great adventure of religion by believing.

This figure in this card has taken on the shape of arrow, moving with the single-pointed focus of one who knows precisely where is going. He is moving so fast that he has become alsmost pure energy. Now is the only moment and here is the only space.
When u act with the intensity of the Knight of Fire it is likely to create ripples in the waters around u. Some will feel uplifted and refreshed by ur presence, others may feel threatened or annoyed. But the opinions of others matter little; nothing can hold u back right now.


Soul
Father, thank U. Amen. And if Z is what I have chosen, I can choose again.
I am on track. I am back again.
For the first time I know I can be healed. Now I knew the root of RA is my hidden fear. I wasn't feeling safe. Even in my partner I wanted someone tall and strong and younger so he can protect me. With Z I felt protected physically but unsafe financially because of his financial situation. I also feel unsafe as he withhold his love and want to hide me from his world.
Amen I am safe now.

Eight of Heart
It is an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force" gathering in u, a force u can use to better ur life in many ways.

Soul
Yea. I can finally be healed. Deep down I was just a frightened gal.

Letter No. 1
Mindset is the sum total of all ur conscious and subsconscious programming. It is essential that u should understand that none of this human mindset has its origins in the spiritual dimension.
It is entirely earthly and probably filled with mythical ideas, prejudices, misconceptions, resentments, buried memories of past hurts, and habitual methods of dealing with the ups and downs of life. Ur human mindset (including any religious ideas and beliefs) determines ur world, ur relationships, experiences, successes, failures, happiness and misery. It is even responsible for ur sickness, disease and accidents.

Nothing happens by chance. Everything is woven out of the inner threads of ur personal consciousness - tots, expectations, beliefs in life, fate, "God". U live in a world of ur own making. That is why children raised in the same environment turn out differently. Each one has its own individual Mindset constructed according to inherent character traits.

Without a mindset, u have no life, no development, no evil, no good. Ur TYPE of mindset determines the quality of ur life.
Furthermore, for as long as u live u carry ur mindset with u wherever u go. There is no escaping it, and day after day, it will continue to create for u the type of existence u have experienced in ur past.

Many people go through their entire life believing they are unfortunate. They think that other people have been mean, unkind, ugly to them, and have made their lives thoroughly unhappy. They believe that "other people" quarrel with them and constantly make difficulties whilst they are absolutely innocent of any provocation. On the contrary, "other people" are not to blame. It is the personal mindset which is attracting to them their negative conditions.

Soul
I believe so.
I have always believed I have a good team of staff. And it really happens.
I have always believed people are generally good. And it happens.
I have always believed behind every Angry person is a loving person. And it happens. I can get along with Angry people.
I have always believed I am not lovable. And it happens.
I always believes life is meant for happiness. And it finally happens.

I have always believe sickness is caused by ourself. It took me a long while and finally I can see the fear in me. Finally I acknowledge I am afraid. I don't feel safe. That's why I needed money so I feel safe. But recent events makes me realised money does create safety and may cause feelings of being unsafe. I wanted a younger strong partner to protect me so I can feel safe.

It is ironic, at the age 45, I finally can see and let myself feel my fear. I now got hope for my RA sickness. I recalled I saw the affirmation "I am safe" for RA. But I ignored this. I tot I am safe and infact most people said I am fearless. From a young age, no one ever tot of protecting me. They said I am self-protected. And I never knew myself to be fearful. Yea, cos no one protects me, I tot I can only have my partner to protect me cos other people won't. No wonder I go for younger strong and tall guys. Yea; I self-protect. At first it is required but the last few years no longer necessary so it attack my cells instead. It went on auto-protect rampage.


First Letter
Most people shy away from the suggestion that they alone are responsible for their troubles. It is more difficult for some people to face up to their inadequacies than it is for those who have the inner strength and self-confidence to look at themselves fairly and squarely.

Sincere Prayer draws the "Father-Creative Consciousness" into the mind, quietly, secretly, it cleanses the human consciousness of all that the seeker no longer feels comfortable with. It is, of necessity, a very gradual process of inner cleansing and development.

Soul
Amen.

The First Letter
Ur emotional patterns can be as damaging to ur overall welfare as ur mindset.
Ur mindset together with ur emotional patterns are ur creative tools. Together they create the necessary outlines for future possessions, events and circumstances. They work in ur life whether u intend them or not.

Soul
Just finished the First Letter from Christ. His experiences and teaching is similar to Lord Shiva, Sadhguru and Osho. I don't see anything new. I guess this is to help Christian to open up. There is more receptiveness for them if the msg comes from Jesus Christ.

Yea, P said the letters are heavy. It may be to her but for me, it is light reading. But it helped me to see every path has the same experience, same outcome and I am on the right track. Amen.