Laughing Samyama

Oct 9 Eve

Father, I didn't do hata this morning. But I did my other practices. Had lunch with ex-boss. She is good and she told me she had pre-menopause and final one at age 45. She said doctor told her it was due to stress and hence ovary shut down. She said she got massive hormone problem and had an emotional melt down.

I tot of myself. I was definitely very stressed for the past 8 months and body shut down also. But on the melt down, I know it won't happen. Cos my body is already pleasant and I have my hata and meditation to see me through.

I finished long lunch at 3.30pm and adjourned to cafe to do my writing. I needed the outlet. I did it for 3 hours non-stop and reach home around 7 pm. I just continued with compilation of my abridged books that I read.

I showered, did my shoonya and proceed to samyama. It was so lovely, I was happy and I laughed loads. I cannot remember the last time since l laughed so much. These last 2 days I have been contented. There were little tots and a sense of calmness enveloped me. Its like the wheel of my mind has stopped running on full speed and is now resting.

Today I suddenly rec a msg from Z. He received a double msg from last Sunday. I miss him. I guess he tot I go back to him. Well, I am not going back.

As I was doing samyama, a tot came. Collect fee from the authors, from amazon.com. For the user, its free except for the purchase of my books. Once I got the 5000 hits, I would get the income from the authors and also book website. For now, I just focus on what I can do.
Amen.

Mystic's Musings
Awareness means that u r becoming aware of dimensions which aren't in ur normal experience of life. Initially, when this awareness comes, ur system doesn't know how to handle it; ur body doesn't know how to handle it. Ur body will go crazy, ur mind will go crazy. Ur mind doesn't know how to handle it because awareness comes with furious energy, or because of furious energy, awareness comes. So, these two things can't be separated. Higher dimension of awareness mean higher dimension of energy.

Soul
Mmm, not sure why energy so high today. I knew my contentment is more but not sure.

Mystic's Musings
The only thing u can do is to stop attaching importance to ur own ways of thinking and feeling, ur tot patterns, ur emotions, and ur opinions. Don't attach any importance to them. Then ur limitations will become weaker and weaker and one day collapse.

Soul
Easier said than done. Recently I am not so enthu on hata. I am unwilling to wake up. I am not sure tomorrow I can also. I have put alarm at 6.30 am. I will let body be the judge.

Mystic's Musings
Having access to the possibility is only because of the longing that one may have. There are many people who have close access to the person, but don't know anything about the possibility yet. Knowing the person is of no great significance. U need sensitivity, to be life sensitive, not ego sensitive.

Soul
I m definitely not ego and environment sensitive. I am absent minded and blur in the outer world and people. In the inner world, I thrive. Perhaps that's why I have access to the possibility.

Mystic's Musings
Janaka's way of being was such that, though he was an Enlightened being and a king as well, a rare combination, sitting at his Master's feet was the highest Grace in his life. He was always aspiring for this opportunity and still sat there, which most people would not do.

Soul
I cried when I read this. For me being able to participate is the greatest blessing I got. That's why I don't want to be a Sathsang Guide.

Mystic's Musings
The relationship between Master-disciple is always energy based. It is not emotion-based nor mind-based, nor is it body-based. For the energy there is no rebirth. It is only the body which is reborn. The energy just continues as one flow and accordingly carries the rship.

Soul
That's my rship with Sadhguru. I tend to laugh whenever I encounter his presence. And when I finally met Sadhguru face to face, to my surprise he too laughed when he saw me. Guess our energies recognised each others.

Nowadays, I laughed whenever my eyes connect with Linga Bhairavi pix on my bed-table. We laughed nearly every night. No reason, it just the explosion of laughter.

Mystic's Musings
Awareness is a far deeper dimension than just mental alertness. When awareness arises within u, love and compassion will be the natural follow-up.

Soul
Not sure. But for the first time I acted out on kindness to C and definitely to Z.

Mystic Musings
Without a price, u get nothing. U better know this. Whether u pay the price here or there, u can't escape it, u will always pay. That's the law of karma. There is a price for everything.

What kind of physical situations u land up in have a very strong karmic basis. The very fact that u r here today proves that ur physical situation has been conducive enough to allow u to be here. There are many who desire to be here, but for many reasons it has not happened for them. They are yet to earn it.


Soul
That's my tag line. There is a price for everything.
No wonder C said it is always a blessing to be in Ashram. And the fact I can be there in a space of 4 months means I am truly blessed. Now I know what she meant.

(Ocr 14 - let me appreciate the fact that I am lucky to have met Sadhguru and the ability to go to ashram whenever I want to. No issue with money or time or family.)