Awareness of my feelings

Sept 30

Woke up with alarm clock at 6.45 am and felt groggy. Did my morning walk in the park. It wasn't an easy one, my legs felt heavy.

Just now received email from P and then I saw she put abbreviation on my name and I recalled Sl has major issue on that. I think most Parent finds it impolite. Out of kindness, I tot I informed P. However, she turned it around and said it was me that was offended and said she has been doing it for so long and hope I didn't boil. I felt bit piss and hurt cos I was doing it out of kindness but instead her mail made it out that it was me who had an issue. It was as if she accused me of using others to say what I want.
Guess, me not so good today. But on the other hand, she was also defensive. Why can't she just said that she will take note of it instead of making it as if it is my personal case. Father, this felt like a personal case to me.

Then this negative tot spiral to P's past action of cutting me out during the volunteer meeting. Good that I am no longer in core team. The negative tots went out spiral. I told myself, don't go there and luckily my food came.

Aiyah, feels better now after a cup of coffee and a slice of bread with butter. Guess I am feeling sorry for myself.

Anyway, now that I m feeling better. I think it is not good to abbreviate people's name. I am sure we don't do that to our boss, so we shouldn't do it to our staff or our friends. So, perhaps P was right in saying it was ME. Oh, that's what got to me, the emphasis that its me only. But I did admit I didn't like it.

Father, I am finally getting sensitive. I am acknowledging my feelings.

(Oct 3 - P and I make up already. It was just my own defensiveness at others' Parents)