Laughter during samyama meditation

Sept 26 Eve

Father, today all my phone contacts were wipe out. Z's contact and bb is all gone. What a coincidence that today is Nine of Spades. Did my shoonya which was ok but samyama was great. For the first time in months, I was laughing quite a lot. Just watching my breathe and mind, suddenly mind become silent and joy came and laughter erupted.
Today I ended by saying goodbye to Z. Amen.

Osho
An intense experience of the world is an essential part in the search for the divine. The world is not the opposite of the divine, the world is a backdrop in the search for the divine. Knowing this will change ur entire outlook.

Soul
My life experiences are definitely intense. I always have the max exposures in whatever I tried. Perhaps that's why I was ready.
Also, I noticed when I more tired, shoonya goes deeper.

Osho
The master is the door. Take his support, but go beyond him. This doesn't mean that u have not been grateful. Once u cross over, u will be even more grateful.
Understand this. If u have received so much happiness from being with the master, if u r so grateful, then u will experience supreme gratitude when u go beyond him

Soul
Me, not ready. Today I watched Sadhguru's youtube. Ever since I have faced him, I no longer resist him, I am not longer afraid.

Just read the section on 1st difficulty is finding ur master and 2nd difficulty is letting go. The master is the door.
I tot of Z, it took me nearly 44 years to find him and opened me up after 1 year and the door keeps on open since then. We been together nearly 2 years and now to let go. He was my door. I felt a disloyalty to let go.

Also tot of samyama. I had IE and Isha group but now I need to let go and continue on my own. Hence samyama could be the one. But I m still not sure. I m not sure if I m driving myself.