Z cannot come back and i cannot go back

Oct 7
Father, slept around 1 am yday night. It was heaty in the park but I finished my walk in the park.

As I got back, a tot came to my mind; it is difficult for Z to decide yes for me even if he wants me now cos I don't fit into his requirement of having children. Also, he is quite traditional. So, how to expect him to have a Yes for me. The same goes for me and my writing. Father, I don't hope for him but let me use this for me to change my mind.

I also finally send a msg to Z to inform him I didn't delete his BB account. I felt better now. I know I have no qualms deleting but we didn't end that way. We ended well. Now that I understand what he faced, I neither expect nor blame him. I would have done the same. But I won't go back. While I miss him, I am also not keen to have his BB account. This is similar to part time pining again.

Just read my card. Then don't ignore. If I had plan to ignore why send the msg. Just accept.

I just want to focus myself on my destiny to be a Self-help tools Critique. People have always said I can be a Food Critique and asked me to start a blog. But I wasn't keen. And now Self-Help tools critique, I can do that. I have a good eyes for filtering.

Father, nearly an hour past since my text msg. Heart bit tugging, but never mind. I am not going back. I will just accept this. If I am correct, he will ignore my msg. I don't want to go back and I know he can't come back either.

Just let me focus on my website.

(14 Oct - I was wrong, he replied quite soon. And he even received the same msg twice and send me his PIN number)