Gemini in Rising

Apr 23

Wake up 3.45 am. Body was fine despite four hours plus sleep. Good that I did pre-sleep breathing with the shrine.
Angarmadhana standing was bit off. Couldn't balance properly. Today the squatting postures were good. Able to do the 3 cycles push out legs continuously. Overall good.
Breathing was fine. Somehow not easy to sit.
Shakti was great. Today Kapala Bhakti done slowly was intense. Tears came and I cried; another karma breaks.
Shambavi was fine. Towards the end contentment. After the plough back I doze off bit. Woke up upon alarm.
But feels good.

Received a msg that all the nominated guides are not willing to do. I felt angry and this time I m willing to let go of Sathsang. I already have my nightly Sathsang with the shrine. This time I expressed myself by asking them what's their resistance. I felt it was unfair that they want me to do it forever. Felt I was not given a choice whereas they been given.
P said she got no resistance but can't do it due to other commitment and also L, which I can agree. That's why I asked for postponement.
Then found out that V, after so much procrastination and delay expect us to find replacement. That I blew up. I had said to take over and this happens. I think best I take over Sathsang coordinator and create new teams. But then better not. Don't want to go in deeper.
Father, the mind is working overtime.
I recalled I said both A and K going off should reaffirm my own path. I truly don't enjoy volunteering and being busy. Also truly want to go back to my writing.

Gemini in Rising
If u don't stay in touch with the natural intellectual excitement of ur own identity and instead give in to ur fears of how other people might see you, you may end up constantly blocking the expression of ur own point of view. This would suppress any meaningful communication and ur innate way of being in the world. Then u can lose confidence in ur ability to share ur multidimensional personality with others. If u allow this to happen, then instead of using the power of ur inborn gift of sharing ideas with others, u suppressed it

Soul
True. That's the reason for my blog. I have been quite inactive for the past one year. Truly need to go back. That's where my adrenalin. New ideas omit
Me intellectual inclined.
That's why Z was not right for me. And that's why I click with Y.