Apr 30 aft
Today something happen during practices.
My mind was giving out sad tots as Y is finally married and I lost local Isha ...sadness starts to come in..while the feeling of sadness is creeping up, deep within me a feeling of joy was there. It was a small glimmer of joy
At first not sure why are there 2 very different feeling.
Then I realised that I got a choice,..I can choose.
So I focus on the inner glimmer of joy...just a small flame..and when I focus on it, the mirth of joy came and I exploded into laughter...the outer sadness disappear.
Alas...Sadhguru said is correct; there is truly a choice.
I truly can decide how I feel.
My External influence card that I am aware
The Master
"Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic, that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea – and there is no experiment up to now that has found any center in the brain which corresponds to awareness. The whole work of meditation is to make you aware of all that is 'mind' and disidentify yourself from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man. Now you can do and act on only that which makes you more joyous, fulfills you, gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty. But this is possible only if the master in you is awake. Right now the master is fast asleep. And the mind, the servant, is playing the role of master. And the servant is not even your servant; the servant is created by the outside world, it follows the outside world and its laws. Once your awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom, than being a master of your own destiny." Osho
Soul Amen.
Evening
I have been writing non stop for the last 5 hours and yet I feel good.
Truly going back to my passion.
Writing is an outlet for me in my dream of Self Mastery.
Amen
This week card:
Issue
Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative.
The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
I may not do volunteering in local Isha..but this is my contribution to society. To those wandering souls out there.
I will continue with my website that I have left idle for the past one year due to intensive volunteering. It is time back to my own creativity.
Just received message from Y that he will sign up his new wife for the latest program. Coincidentally I will be in ashram just before the program. So I will come back energised and can face the situation. God truly think I am great.
Like G said someone up there loves me, all arranged beautifully so that I can face it calmly. Someone up there is looking after me.
Just like Y gave me his wedding message just after Sathsang when I am high energy mode.
Just like I happen to be in ashram when Z got married.
Everything happens beautifully for me.
Amen.
May 25
Found out that Y too is attending the darshan. And I think the wife is there too.
Never mind..maybe just to show me that it is finally over.
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