Pluto in 4th house - personal security

Apr 27 eve
Finally realised Y is here to let me see the mirror on my issue on local Isha. How relationships and gratitude ties us down. In his case, meant to happen; just like G came back from overseas. Just as G said her family can't do, just as Y said his parents can't. The same I said other local  Isha's core team can't. Just as G's family said no, the same as the local Isha said no.
Now in my case cos its Pluto in Virgo.

I now tot of how to say to them. No need to seek sympathy as even me crying during Sathsang and my resentment doesn't help. I only need to say I exercised my right to say NO just as they did. We are all equal here. Just because I m receptive and I attended all the advance program doesn't mean I have to give more than I wanted to.

Apr 27 eve 1

From Facebook
It is ur life, don't let anyone make u feel guilty for living it the way u want.

Soul
It is truly not easy. I now understand Y and G.

Pluto in Virgo in 4 th house
You will tend to view any type of conditioning as something negative, although you may be compulsively driven by your past conditioning.  You may find yourself going through crisis in order to break old habits and decondition yourself.

Soul
Such irony. Me who against conditioning is truly conditioned. Perhaps that's why I m against it cos I couldn't break my own inner conditioning.

Pluto in fourth house
The more your subconscious tries to shake these foundations away from you, the more you cling to them.  Obsession, compulsion, mania, or at least an unreasonable preoccupation with these Fourth House matters is the result.


Soul
No wonder.

Pluto in fourth house
In a broader sense, any arena which provides you with protection and security may be vulnerable to crisis and disruption.  Such crises may spring from subconscious motivations or may affect your subconscious, resulting in a psychological crisis.
When crisis results in transformation, you may find your outlook toward family and tradition profoundly altered.  After a peak crisis, you may feel that your whole essence has been fundamentally changed and that your sense of personal security is no longer dependent upon external nurturing but is rooted in your own sense of Truth.  If you are unable to undergo internal transformation, there is a danger that destructive changes will occur within your family and home environment.

Soul
Guess I need to change.