Learning to be fearless in personal and romantic relationships

May 2

Today woke up upon alarm. Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja.
Angarmadhana was good. Miss out rocking and I did in the end. Did the child sitting and this tong cushion just slightly on my bottom. Such joy erupted in me. Head shaking non stop and clapping too. Highlight of angarmadhana is the child sitting I look forward to it. Towards the end the silence sitting also good. Overall angarmadhana had improved.
Breathing was not long.
Shakti was great. Got back my slow Kapala Bhakti. This time I laugh loads during Kapala Bhakti. Been awhile. I m back. Toward the end felt such intense longing for union. Longing for my husband. Did a quick Shambavi as I need to find physical release. For the first time need such physical release. Truly a new beginning.
Osho said sexual energy is the beginning; whereas I think it came last. I always said physical last to be conquered.
No expectation on Kailash. To me it just like a program and I do all my physical and karmic release before I goes there.

Got this in mid March and then in mid April and now alas another reminder I am truly freed;
Destiny, freedom and soul
And unless a person decides, "whatever the costs, I want just  to be myself. Condemned, unaccepted, losing respectability - everything is okay, but I cannot pretend to be somebody else .... "
This decision and this declaration of freedom, freedom from weight of the crowd - gives birth to ur natural being, to ur individuality. Then u don't need any mask. Then u can be simply yourself, just as u are.
And at the moment u can be just who you are, there is tremendous "peace that passeth understanding"

Soul
I have been fearless at work, now working on being fearless at personal and romantic relationship.

Today's card is Nine of Spades
My Daily Card
The Nine of Spades

The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster. In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time. But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.

This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so. Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.

Soul
Been with C due to her personal issue. We have both grown. I am able to be with her much better than ever.
We have both comes a long way.
I also shared about P being Ruling's Nine of Spades just like her Ruling.
But C is easier as Destiny is Jack of Hearts whereas P is Ace of Spades.
No matter, finally got the Result Nine of Spades.

It is true, when I am joyful on my own, I am not resentful if people need 'help'. I can give but not affected.
Also I don't have the view that I need to help. I used to be stressed that I can't help. Now I just be there for her.
Thats all.
And when I see a good opening insight I tell her as she is...she is more open these days..or maybe I am less intense these days.
Amen.

From facebook rebelle society
I was able to share, personally and professionally, from a place of authenticity and vulnerability. I was no longer taking responsibility for what others did or did not get from my sharing, because I knew my only job was to generously and unconditionally give what sat in my heart and to surrender the rest. As a result, my relationships became even more powerful, even more mutually nourishing, and even more effective.

Soul
Thats how it is. When I let myself be who I am...then I can allow them to be who they are.
Just as they are not responsible for me...I too am not responsible for them