Slowly having positive instead of habitual negative perception over ending in relationships

Feb 6

Woke up 3.50 am upon alarm. Been about a week since I got to wake up so early. Did Bhoota Suddhi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of yoga namaskar and surya kriya. Both also okay. Asanas were good too.
Breathing was fine. Shakti was bit out. Shambavi was good. After the end I had a doze. Guess just tired.

This morning I had an alternative tot of the ending of Z and Y. Instead of lamenting that it end so fast or that it didn't last; perhaps it ended because I have learned my lessons. I need not stay much longer than that. This is a very positive tot.

This week Osho card
1. The issue
Understanding
U r out of jail, out of the cage; u can open ur wings and the whole sky is yours. In the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.

2. Internal influences that u are unable to see
Celebration.
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
Ur cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop; don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a Buddha.

Soul
Yes, the old school mate gathering. Its looks fun but I m not sure if they are my crowd. Then I tot of Y who close up anything not in his comfortable space. Yes, maybe should open up. At least the food is there.

3. External influences
The Rebel
The rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
His way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything but because he has discovered his own true nature and determined to live in accordance with it.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Beyond illusion
Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising sun, meditation is born. The card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within.
When we focus on external, we too often get caught in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgments keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. Then u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is known

Soul
There were no response from Y. For the first time in my life I was not affected. I just accept it. Not sure if this is true as this morning I had tots of past pleasure with Z. And I waived it and said the pleasure be with my husband.


5. The resolutions
Going with the flow
The figure on this card is completely relaxed and at ease in the water, letting it take him where it will. He has mastered the art of being passive and receptive without being dull and sleepy. He is just available to the current of life, with never a tot of saying I don't like this or I prefer to go the other way.
When this card appears, it is an indication that u are able to float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Allow this trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.