Slowly but surely building up faith on myself

Feb 11
Woke up missing Y a bit. Well he is gone.
Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya followed by asanas. Asanas not so great. But the two Legs sitting bend was good. No longer feel stretched at the knees.
Shakti was good. Lost a bit in tots during third cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi good too but did have some tots. Towards the end just sat in silence.

In the midst of meditation a tot came. What if I m meant to be without a partner just like those who are meant to be without a limb. I quickly wave it off and said that I can and will have my partner. I can create what I want. I don't want to be negative about it.

Ambition to vision by Sadhguru
If a man has a vision of what he wishes to do with himself and the world around him, it is not beyond his capacity to create it. It may happen in this lifetime or it may take a couple of lifetimes but what we want will definitely come.
At any given moment if we go by the experience of our past or in other words trust ur logical mind to decide what is possible and not possible, it will always tell u mediocre things as to what is possible. But if a person's vision of life is clear to him and if he seeks it every moment of his life, the highest things will come to him.

Soul
My dream is self mastery. My challenge lies in romantic relationship. At least I m now fearless. My faith is not strong yet but I m no longer fearful thanks to Y.
I am also not going to settle short. I want my partner to be mentally and spiritually compatible. Physical and emotion is not the key. I m no longer going to sell short. I want my partner but at my values.

True self mastery is actually to live fearlessly. To live fearlessly is to live in abandon.
I am going to be Love and will attract a lover with my values. I want a strong husband that I can grow together.

My Daily Card
The Ace of Hearts

The Ace of Hearts represents a desire for affection or love that is the stimulus that causes new relationships to be created. For this reason, it can indicate a new love affair or the birth of a child. Though influenced by each planetary period in a specific and unique way, this creative love energy always represents an awakening of love or passion in one's heart.

On a deeper level, the Ace of Hearts, being the very first card in the deck, represents a search for something inside of our self. Perhaps it is the search for self-identity or for those things that help us to love who we are unconditionally. In order to love ourselves, we often find someone to love who reflects back to us what we are seeking within. This is why the Ace of Hearts can represent a new relationship beginning.